DOI issue:
July to December, 1851
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16608#0099
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 87
CITY PRIVATE THEATRICALS.
The following scene has, we understand, been performed in private, with no very great
success, at the Mansion House, since the return of the citizens from the Paris Fetes. The
Lord Mayor appears to have given very great dissatisfaction by the manner in which he acted
his part, ana by his unfair mode of endeavouring to keep in the back-ground those who ouskt
to have been prominent—as his brother actors—in the recent Parisian performances. The
Private Theatricals at the Mansion House have been limited to
THE CELEBRATED QUARREL SCENE EROM JULIUS QfiSAB-
Brutus, by the Lord Mayor. . . . Cassius, by an Alderman.
Alderman. That you have wronged me doth appear in this—
You have brought to thefetes your niece and nephew ;
Taking them out here, there, and everywhere ;
Wherein their betters—(who should be your pride,
Your worthy Aldermen)—were slighted of.
Lord Mayor. You wrong yourselves—you should have paid your share.
Alderman. At such a time as that—'twould have been low
Eor the Loud Mayor to ask for each man's guinea.
Lord Mayor. Yet, let me tell you—you are all of you
Said by the Times—to have an itching palm,
To job and mart your offices about
To undeservers.
Alderman. We an itching palm!
You know you are the Lord Mayor that speak this,
Or, by St. Paul's, that speech should not be pass'd!
Lord Mayor. The gown of office wraps up this corruption.
And chastisement doth pocket both its fists.
Alderman. Chastisement! Bay not me, my Lord;
I'll not endure it. You forget yourself,
To bully me !—1 am an Alderman,
Older in office—abler than yourself
To head commissions.
Lord Mayor. Go to-you're not, I say.
Alderman. I am.
Lord Mayor. I say, again, you 're not. Go to-
Alderman. Urge me no more. I shall forget myself.
Have mind upon your eye—tempt me no further.
Lord Mayor. Away—slight man!
Alderman. Is't possible!
Lord Mayor. Hear me, for I will speak.
Must I give way to a rash Alderman ?
Shall I be frighted if he raves and stares?
Alderman. Magog and Gog ! must I endure all this ?
Lord Mayor. All this ! Ay, more ! Fret till your waistcoat bursts;
Go tell your ward how choleric you are,
And make your wardsmen tremble. Must I budge ?
You say you are a better Alderman.
Alderman. You wrong me; every way, my Lord, you wrong me.
I said an older Alderman—not better.
Did I say better?
Lord Mayor. If you did, I care not.
Alderman. When Fauncombe ruled, he durst
not thus abuse me.
Lord Mayor. Peace, peace! you durst not so
have bullied him.
Alderman. I durst not!
Lord Mayor. No.
Alderman. What! durst not bully him ?
Lord Mayor- Eor your gown, you durst not!
Alderman- Do not presume too much upon
your rank;
I may do that you may be sorry for.
Lord Mayor. You have done that you should
be sorry for.
There is no terror in your noisy threats.
Eor I am armed with such self-consequence,
That they pass by me like Policeman Y,
Whom I regard not. I did hint to you
You should subscribe some cash, but you de-
clin-d it,
And so I found the money all myself.
So I deserved the glory, by all means.
By Jingo ! I had rather hire a cart,
Or pawn my mace for cab-hire—than accept
From the whole Court of Aldermen their trash,
After their first refusal. I did ask
A sum towards paying my expenses,
Which was refused me. Was that like the City ?
Should I have spared the City coffers so ?
When Richard Musgrove grows so covetous
To lock such rascal counters from his friend,
Be ready, Punch, and with your biggest baton
Knock him to pieces.
Alderman. We denied you not.
Lord Mayor. You did.
Alderman. We did not! he was but a fool
Who brought our answer back.
Lord Mayor. Well! hold your nonsense now.
Be angry when you will—I do not care,
1 carry anger as Champagne bears bubbles;
Which, stirr'd with crust, doth quickly effervesce.
And straight is flat again.
Alderman. Oh ! have I lived
To furnish food for laughter to my Musgrove,
When indigestion or ill-temper vex him !
Lord Mayor. When I spoke that, I was ill-
temper'd too.
Alderman. Do you confess so much? Give us
your hand.
Lord Mayor. When the Lord Mayor is ask'd
again to Paris—
{Aside) It won't be my turn—though it may be
his.
{Aloud) The Aldermen shall have their proper
places.
[Exeunt together, arm in arm.
Parliamentary Returns.
Mr. Thomas Birchmore, and Ma. James
Skegg, (labourers,) from Boulogne, to St. Albans
(calling in the way at the Mansion-House). The
exiles were entertained in the evening at the
Polecat, the electioneering tavern of the odori-
ferous borough. Jacob Bell, Esq., M.P., was
to have taken the chair, but was prevented.
However, that nothing should be wanting to the
splendour of the banquet, the Hon. Member
contributed a, handsome transparency, on which
were painted two striking portraits, with the
appropriate inscription—" The dogs return to
their—St. Albans."
Punch was never more annoyed in his life
than by the receipt of the following :—
" If the Eather is the Bead of the Family,
what's the eldest Son ? "
" Why, tbe Heir, to be sure."
If the writer will call at the Punch Office, he will
find our Thick-stick in waiting.
CITY PRIVATE THEATRICALS.
The following scene has, we understand, been performed in private, with no very great
success, at the Mansion House, since the return of the citizens from the Paris Fetes. The
Lord Mayor appears to have given very great dissatisfaction by the manner in which he acted
his part, ana by his unfair mode of endeavouring to keep in the back-ground those who ouskt
to have been prominent—as his brother actors—in the recent Parisian performances. The
Private Theatricals at the Mansion House have been limited to
THE CELEBRATED QUARREL SCENE EROM JULIUS QfiSAB-
Brutus, by the Lord Mayor. . . . Cassius, by an Alderman.
Alderman. That you have wronged me doth appear in this—
You have brought to thefetes your niece and nephew ;
Taking them out here, there, and everywhere ;
Wherein their betters—(who should be your pride,
Your worthy Aldermen)—were slighted of.
Lord Mayor. You wrong yourselves—you should have paid your share.
Alderman. At such a time as that—'twould have been low
Eor the Loud Mayor to ask for each man's guinea.
Lord Mayor. Yet, let me tell you—you are all of you
Said by the Times—to have an itching palm,
To job and mart your offices about
To undeservers.
Alderman. We an itching palm!
You know you are the Lord Mayor that speak this,
Or, by St. Paul's, that speech should not be pass'd!
Lord Mayor. The gown of office wraps up this corruption.
And chastisement doth pocket both its fists.
Alderman. Chastisement! Bay not me, my Lord;
I'll not endure it. You forget yourself,
To bully me !—1 am an Alderman,
Older in office—abler than yourself
To head commissions.
Lord Mayor. Go to-you're not, I say.
Alderman. I am.
Lord Mayor. I say, again, you 're not. Go to-
Alderman. Urge me no more. I shall forget myself.
Have mind upon your eye—tempt me no further.
Lord Mayor. Away—slight man!
Alderman. Is't possible!
Lord Mayor. Hear me, for I will speak.
Must I give way to a rash Alderman ?
Shall I be frighted if he raves and stares?
Alderman. Magog and Gog ! must I endure all this ?
Lord Mayor. All this ! Ay, more ! Fret till your waistcoat bursts;
Go tell your ward how choleric you are,
And make your wardsmen tremble. Must I budge ?
You say you are a better Alderman.
Alderman. You wrong me; every way, my Lord, you wrong me.
I said an older Alderman—not better.
Did I say better?
Lord Mayor. If you did, I care not.
Alderman. When Fauncombe ruled, he durst
not thus abuse me.
Lord Mayor. Peace, peace! you durst not so
have bullied him.
Alderman. I durst not!
Lord Mayor. No.
Alderman. What! durst not bully him ?
Lord Mayor- Eor your gown, you durst not!
Alderman- Do not presume too much upon
your rank;
I may do that you may be sorry for.
Lord Mayor. You have done that you should
be sorry for.
There is no terror in your noisy threats.
Eor I am armed with such self-consequence,
That they pass by me like Policeman Y,
Whom I regard not. I did hint to you
You should subscribe some cash, but you de-
clin-d it,
And so I found the money all myself.
So I deserved the glory, by all means.
By Jingo ! I had rather hire a cart,
Or pawn my mace for cab-hire—than accept
From the whole Court of Aldermen their trash,
After their first refusal. I did ask
A sum towards paying my expenses,
Which was refused me. Was that like the City ?
Should I have spared the City coffers so ?
When Richard Musgrove grows so covetous
To lock such rascal counters from his friend,
Be ready, Punch, and with your biggest baton
Knock him to pieces.
Alderman. We denied you not.
Lord Mayor. You did.
Alderman. We did not! he was but a fool
Who brought our answer back.
Lord Mayor. Well! hold your nonsense now.
Be angry when you will—I do not care,
1 carry anger as Champagne bears bubbles;
Which, stirr'd with crust, doth quickly effervesce.
And straight is flat again.
Alderman. Oh ! have I lived
To furnish food for laughter to my Musgrove,
When indigestion or ill-temper vex him !
Lord Mayor. When I spoke that, I was ill-
temper'd too.
Alderman. Do you confess so much? Give us
your hand.
Lord Mayor. When the Lord Mayor is ask'd
again to Paris—
{Aside) It won't be my turn—though it may be
his.
{Aloud) The Aldermen shall have their proper
places.
[Exeunt together, arm in arm.
Parliamentary Returns.
Mr. Thomas Birchmore, and Ma. James
Skegg, (labourers,) from Boulogne, to St. Albans
(calling in the way at the Mansion-House). The
exiles were entertained in the evening at the
Polecat, the electioneering tavern of the odori-
ferous borough. Jacob Bell, Esq., M.P., was
to have taken the chair, but was prevented.
However, that nothing should be wanting to the
splendour of the banquet, the Hon. Member
contributed a, handsome transparency, on which
were painted two striking portraits, with the
appropriate inscription—" The dogs return to
their—St. Albans."
Punch was never more annoyed in his life
than by the receipt of the following :—
" If the Eather is the Bead of the Family,
what's the eldest Son ? "
" Why, tbe Heir, to be sure."
If the writer will call at the Punch Office, he will
find our Thick-stick in waiting.