DOI issue:
July to December, 1851
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16608#0109
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 97
THE WINTER GARDEN.
A IB.—" Cupid's Garden " (Rustic Melody).
AS down the Winter Garden in
fancy I did go,
I met a gallant Colonel that
most of you must know;
He wore a magnifier, and
held it to his eye,
And at the Ingy shrubs and
trees continually did spy,
Continually did spy.
presently accosted him,
and gently thus did say,
" Dost thee approve of this
here plan ? Come, tell me
now, I pray."
"I do approve of this here
plan, I candidly declare,
And I hope that Mb,.
Paxton may still the
laurels wear,
May still the laurels wear."
" Excuse me, gallant Colonel ; there's no offence design'd :
I think as how I've heard that you warn't always of this mind."
" You speak the words of truth, which I freely will allow;
But my opinion's alter'd, and I feel quite different now,
I feel quite different now."
" What chang-ed your opinion, might 1 beg you for to state ? "
" Oh! I'm open to conviction ; though 'tis sometimes rather late ;
But there is no resisting this fair and lovely view
Of plants from Madagascar, and Chayny, and Peru,
And Chayny, and Peru."
" I pray you, gallant Colonel, to walk along with me
About the Winter Garden, its wonders for to see,
All in among the spice-trees, and scented gums and balms,
And the ferns of foreign climates, and the date-trees, and the palms,
The date-trees, and the palms.
" Look, here is the banana a-bearing of its fruit,
And here you've got the plantain, and the cocoa-nut to boot ;
The coffee-plant in berry you also here may see,
And likewise the prickly-pear and the Ingy-rubber-tree,
The Ingy-rubber-tree.
" And here's the splendid orchises, so beautiful and rare,
That grows on trees, and only lives on water and on air ;
And flowers, like moths and butterflies, and insects that appear,
And plants, with leaves like pitchers, that would hold a pint of beer,
Would hold a pint of beer.
" And here we have the vargint flower, which, if attention's guv,
Will be found to have inside it a figure like a dove;
There you observe the fly-catcher, whereon there grows a trap,
Which, if a fly gets into it, will nab him with a snap,
Will nab him with a snap.
"The grand V'ctoria Begia here before us you behold,
And which I think you'll own comes up to all that you've been told;
And there you see the children, and the maidens sweet and fair,
That in the Winter Garden have come to take the air,
Have come to take the air.
" Now, ben't this, gallant Colonel, a blessing to the Town ?
And yet 'tis said they meant to pull the Crystal Palace down."—
" Ah! then I should have triumph'd—but here I should not be ;
And Her Majesty's Commissioners would have been as wise as me,
Have been as wise as me."
MAN AND WOMAN TBAPS SET HERE.
That is, at a certain Matrimonial Begistration Office, in Chancery
Lane; where a philanthropist—for only the price of five shillings for
" registration," guarantees to make " parties" happy who are " strangers
to each other." Mr. Calcraft, the hangman, always delicately
alludes to the condemned as " the party;" the Hymen of Chancery
Lane is no less scrupulous in his office; albeit of the two functions the
latter might be eveu more disastrous to those who fell into the hands
of the match-maker.
However, at the " Matrimonial Alliance Office "—(it might have been
the Hand-in-Hand)—everybody may be matched, " from the tradesman
to the Peer;" good tradesmen's wives, and unexceptionable peers'
daughters always on hand in every variety.
Felicity is guaranteed " on the principle of inviolable secresy;" we
will vouch for it, neither party ever dreaming of their happiness. There
is, moreover, this advantage: " applicants may sign by initial or motto;"
the bliss being more intense if obtained anonymously!
" None but respectable parties can be treated with."
Such is the declaration of the " Secretary," whose bill is before us.
With this intimation, we beg to hand the matter over to the attention
of that very respectable body—the " parties " of the new police. Perhaps
Inspector A. will favour the Secretary with his initial; and with it, his
motto—" safe bind, safe find."
AWPUL EIRE AT DUBLIN.
{From our own Reporter.)
On Tuesday morning, August 19th, an extensive fire broke out in
Dublin; and, though happily unattended with loss of life, there are too
good grounds for apprehending that it will be ultimately found to have
done considerable damage to property, as the real victims of its
ravages will be the producers of wealth; that is to say, the industrious
classes. Eor some days, suspicious-looking columns of smoke had been
observed to issue from the office of the Tablet newspaper; and a smell
of fire had been distinctly perceptible in various quarters of the city,
especially in and about the Boman Catholic Chapels ; but on Tuesday,
at 9 a.m., the odour became general, and by 11, flames were seen
ascending in several directions. A Protestant placard was in a few
moments reduced to ashes, and a shop-front, of the same persuasion,
shared a similar fate. Eor a short time the flames were suppressed by
the praiseworthy efforts of the Police; but, between 11 and 12 o'clock,
they again burst forth in the Botunda, which, being filled with the
most inflammable materials, rendered a conflagration unavoidable.
Under the names of the Most Beverend Dr. Cullen, calling himself
Archbishop of Armagh, Dr. M'Hale, also calling himself Arch-
bishop of Tuam, and other pretended Archbishops and Bishops of
Ireland, the spacious edifice contained a vast collection of those prelates
whose vestments are so extensively employed as combustibles among
our junior population on the Fifth of November. A great number of
lay figures, inclusive of those of Messrs. Beynolds and Keogh, M.P.,
were likewise collected together, and from their known facility of
ignition, the greatest danger was apprehended. The gilded chair of the
so-called Archbishop of Armagh was speedily in a blaze; the fire
appearing to emanate from the lips of his nominal Grace. In a few
moments several Bomanist ecclesiastics and Members of Parliament
were in flames; and the devouring element then seized on Dr. M'Hale,
rendering him almost instantaneously incandescent. Several other
notorious individuals present afterwards kindled in succession; Mr. G.
Moore, M.P. for Mayo, flaring up with terrific vehemence, and the
whole assembly were soon involved in a lurid glare, and emitted dense
volumes of smoke.
At the outset, of the fire, Mr. Punch was sent for; and with the
National Eire Brigade, of which he is the head, attended with his usual
promptitude, and lost no time in setting his engine to play upon the
flames. By the exertions of Mr. Punch, the fire was in some measure
got under, but not until considerable mischief had been done : besides*
which, it is rumoured that some of the parties involved will be found to
have severely burnt their fingers. The perils of the conflagration were
much enhanced by certain titular prelates pouring oil upon ardent
spirits, of which there was a large stock in the building. Although
the fire has been partially subdued, there is some reason to apprehend
its spreading, and the engine of Mr. Punch will continue to play on the
blazing ruins. The principal sufferers were insured in the Irish
Assurance Office. There is every reason to believe that the fire was
the work of an incendiary.
ONE FOOL MAKES MANY.
We wonder why it is that no equestrian entertainment seems to be
complete without an ascent on an inclined plane by somebody on a
revolving ball. Whoever can do this, may be said to have the ball at
his feet; for he is sure of an engagement just now when the town is full
of horsemanship, and this piece of perilous assmanship is invariably
added to the programme. We should imagine the public have had
enough of this entertainment, having been bored over and over again by
the same sort of thing. We almost wonder it is still attractive, for as
the attraction is in the danger, and it does not seem to be dangerous,
since nobody has yet broken his neck, and the thing is being done some
thirty or forty times a week in different parts of London, we are
surprised people go on paying their money on the chance of a neck-
being broken.
Vol. 21.
THE WINTER GARDEN.
A IB.—" Cupid's Garden " (Rustic Melody).
AS down the Winter Garden in
fancy I did go,
I met a gallant Colonel that
most of you must know;
He wore a magnifier, and
held it to his eye,
And at the Ingy shrubs and
trees continually did spy,
Continually did spy.
presently accosted him,
and gently thus did say,
" Dost thee approve of this
here plan ? Come, tell me
now, I pray."
"I do approve of this here
plan, I candidly declare,
And I hope that Mb,.
Paxton may still the
laurels wear,
May still the laurels wear."
" Excuse me, gallant Colonel ; there's no offence design'd :
I think as how I've heard that you warn't always of this mind."
" You speak the words of truth, which I freely will allow;
But my opinion's alter'd, and I feel quite different now,
I feel quite different now."
" What chang-ed your opinion, might 1 beg you for to state ? "
" Oh! I'm open to conviction ; though 'tis sometimes rather late ;
But there is no resisting this fair and lovely view
Of plants from Madagascar, and Chayny, and Peru,
And Chayny, and Peru."
" I pray you, gallant Colonel, to walk along with me
About the Winter Garden, its wonders for to see,
All in among the spice-trees, and scented gums and balms,
And the ferns of foreign climates, and the date-trees, and the palms,
The date-trees, and the palms.
" Look, here is the banana a-bearing of its fruit,
And here you've got the plantain, and the cocoa-nut to boot ;
The coffee-plant in berry you also here may see,
And likewise the prickly-pear and the Ingy-rubber-tree,
The Ingy-rubber-tree.
" And here's the splendid orchises, so beautiful and rare,
That grows on trees, and only lives on water and on air ;
And flowers, like moths and butterflies, and insects that appear,
And plants, with leaves like pitchers, that would hold a pint of beer,
Would hold a pint of beer.
" And here we have the vargint flower, which, if attention's guv,
Will be found to have inside it a figure like a dove;
There you observe the fly-catcher, whereon there grows a trap,
Which, if a fly gets into it, will nab him with a snap,
Will nab him with a snap.
"The grand V'ctoria Begia here before us you behold,
And which I think you'll own comes up to all that you've been told;
And there you see the children, and the maidens sweet and fair,
That in the Winter Garden have come to take the air,
Have come to take the air.
" Now, ben't this, gallant Colonel, a blessing to the Town ?
And yet 'tis said they meant to pull the Crystal Palace down."—
" Ah! then I should have triumph'd—but here I should not be ;
And Her Majesty's Commissioners would have been as wise as me,
Have been as wise as me."
MAN AND WOMAN TBAPS SET HERE.
That is, at a certain Matrimonial Begistration Office, in Chancery
Lane; where a philanthropist—for only the price of five shillings for
" registration," guarantees to make " parties" happy who are " strangers
to each other." Mr. Calcraft, the hangman, always delicately
alludes to the condemned as " the party;" the Hymen of Chancery
Lane is no less scrupulous in his office; albeit of the two functions the
latter might be eveu more disastrous to those who fell into the hands
of the match-maker.
However, at the " Matrimonial Alliance Office "—(it might have been
the Hand-in-Hand)—everybody may be matched, " from the tradesman
to the Peer;" good tradesmen's wives, and unexceptionable peers'
daughters always on hand in every variety.
Felicity is guaranteed " on the principle of inviolable secresy;" we
will vouch for it, neither party ever dreaming of their happiness. There
is, moreover, this advantage: " applicants may sign by initial or motto;"
the bliss being more intense if obtained anonymously!
" None but respectable parties can be treated with."
Such is the declaration of the " Secretary," whose bill is before us.
With this intimation, we beg to hand the matter over to the attention
of that very respectable body—the " parties " of the new police. Perhaps
Inspector A. will favour the Secretary with his initial; and with it, his
motto—" safe bind, safe find."
AWPUL EIRE AT DUBLIN.
{From our own Reporter.)
On Tuesday morning, August 19th, an extensive fire broke out in
Dublin; and, though happily unattended with loss of life, there are too
good grounds for apprehending that it will be ultimately found to have
done considerable damage to property, as the real victims of its
ravages will be the producers of wealth; that is to say, the industrious
classes. Eor some days, suspicious-looking columns of smoke had been
observed to issue from the office of the Tablet newspaper; and a smell
of fire had been distinctly perceptible in various quarters of the city,
especially in and about the Boman Catholic Chapels ; but on Tuesday,
at 9 a.m., the odour became general, and by 11, flames were seen
ascending in several directions. A Protestant placard was in a few
moments reduced to ashes, and a shop-front, of the same persuasion,
shared a similar fate. Eor a short time the flames were suppressed by
the praiseworthy efforts of the Police; but, between 11 and 12 o'clock,
they again burst forth in the Botunda, which, being filled with the
most inflammable materials, rendered a conflagration unavoidable.
Under the names of the Most Beverend Dr. Cullen, calling himself
Archbishop of Armagh, Dr. M'Hale, also calling himself Arch-
bishop of Tuam, and other pretended Archbishops and Bishops of
Ireland, the spacious edifice contained a vast collection of those prelates
whose vestments are so extensively employed as combustibles among
our junior population on the Fifth of November. A great number of
lay figures, inclusive of those of Messrs. Beynolds and Keogh, M.P.,
were likewise collected together, and from their known facility of
ignition, the greatest danger was apprehended. The gilded chair of the
so-called Archbishop of Armagh was speedily in a blaze; the fire
appearing to emanate from the lips of his nominal Grace. In a few
moments several Bomanist ecclesiastics and Members of Parliament
were in flames; and the devouring element then seized on Dr. M'Hale,
rendering him almost instantaneously incandescent. Several other
notorious individuals present afterwards kindled in succession; Mr. G.
Moore, M.P. for Mayo, flaring up with terrific vehemence, and the
whole assembly were soon involved in a lurid glare, and emitted dense
volumes of smoke.
At the outset, of the fire, Mr. Punch was sent for; and with the
National Eire Brigade, of which he is the head, attended with his usual
promptitude, and lost no time in setting his engine to play upon the
flames. By the exertions of Mr. Punch, the fire was in some measure
got under, but not until considerable mischief had been done : besides*
which, it is rumoured that some of the parties involved will be found to
have severely burnt their fingers. The perils of the conflagration were
much enhanced by certain titular prelates pouring oil upon ardent
spirits, of which there was a large stock in the building. Although
the fire has been partially subdued, there is some reason to apprehend
its spreading, and the engine of Mr. Punch will continue to play on the
blazing ruins. The principal sufferers were insured in the Irish
Assurance Office. There is every reason to believe that the fire was
the work of an incendiary.
ONE FOOL MAKES MANY.
We wonder why it is that no equestrian entertainment seems to be
complete without an ascent on an inclined plane by somebody on a
revolving ball. Whoever can do this, may be said to have the ball at
his feet; for he is sure of an engagement just now when the town is full
of horsemanship, and this piece of perilous assmanship is invariably
added to the programme. We should imagine the public have had
enough of this entertainment, having been bored over and over again by
the same sort of thing. We almost wonder it is still attractive, for as
the attraction is in the danger, and it does not seem to be dangerous,
since nobody has yet broken his neck, and the thing is being done some
thirty or forty times a week in different parts of London, we are
surprised people go on paying their money on the chance of a neck-
being broken.
Vol. 21.