DOI issue:
July to December, 1851
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16608#0146
134
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Conductor. " Hold Hard, Bill ! Here's a Couple more Leicester Squares a-comin'
The Miraculous Cabbage.
Rose Tamisier, the Miracle-monger
in Prance, asserted that she was or-
dered by Heaven to plant a cabbage
in a convent-garden, and that in a few
days the miraculous vegetable grew to
so enormous a size that the whole
community dined off it.
Vast as this vegetable must have
been, Father Newman, of Birming-
ham, is ready to swallow the cabbage,
and all the community who ate it, and
the story into the bargain, and to
preach without inconvenience after-
wards to a select congregation.
A Nation of Shopkeepers.
"Is it not enough to make the
sword leap out of every Frenchman's
scabbard when he witnesses the cor-
rupting influence of England's Gold.
Will it be believed that within the last
week—and we can state it as a posi-
tive fact—that America has been pur-
chased — yes, vilely purchased — by
'Perfidious Albion.' How the spirit
of Washington will gibber, when he
is told that his darling America has
passed into the hands of an Englishman
for the miserable sum of £7,000!"
From an Anglo-maniacal French Paper.
A Nincompoop. — One who pays
a-Nincome-Tax when he might avoid it.
A NICE MESS FOR MESSMATES.
" Punch, ahoy!
" Here's a precious paragraph for you, that 1 've cut out of
one of the newspapers, put in by some land-lubber :—
"' Tea foe the Navy.—Messrs. W. S. Shuttleworth & Co., of 36, Fenchurch
Street, have again taken a contract to supply 50,CO0 lbs. of tea for the use of the Navy.'
" Avast there ! I sung out when first I read this. Tea !—tea for
British Seamen ! What next ? Bread-and-butter, I suppose, as though
they were young ladies at a seminary; and a pretty boarding-school,
d've see, that will make of a line-of-battle ship. Or, mayhap, Jack is
to have plum-cake with his tea, or belike, bread and jam. Tea in the
Navy! Why—shiver their cups and saucers!—'tis making the sea-
service a tea-service. Tea ! and by-and-by, I expect, a carpet laid down
on the fore-deck. Bless my eyes, if ever I thought to live to hear of
such slops as that for a seaman's chest! Well, I am blest, says I,
split my top-gallant mast! for certainly I was took quit.e aback by the
notion of tea on board a seventy-four—turning a man-of-war, d'ye
mind me, into an old woman.
Howsomedcver, when I'd chewed the matter over a bit, I twigged
it all. Steady ! thinks I to myself. Belay ! How about the truth of
this story ? It can't be. No, Punch, my hearty! I don't believe a
word of it. 'Tis a tale only fit to tell the marines. Depend upon it,
'twas hatched by some swab of a reporter, through hearing that the
Navy was to be served with canister and gunpowder. A pretty son of
a sea cook, to think that anything but grog would ever go down with
" The Old Ship, Sept., 1851. « Salt Junk."
A Challenge from Bell's Life.
The Ex-Oxford Pet, now called the Birmingham Swallower,
backs himself against any old woman in England. He offers to take down
pictures, statues, or all Madame Tussaud's wax-work, if need be. His
money is posted, and his backers ready, at Ullathorne's, the New
Mitre, Birmingham.
lines (not quite new) written in a copy of the discourses of
the miraculous doctor.
Accept the book by subtle Newman writ,
And take a miracle instead of wit.
ACullen-ary Operation.—Sending the Earth, Sun, Moon, Stars,
and Planets, all to pot.
SOMETHING TO TAKE A SIGHT AT.
Wenham ice is tolerably cool, but it is positively tepid compared
with the coolness of the following advertisement:—
MEDICAL.—WANTED, by a Surgeon, in Town, a. Visiting Assistant.
He must be a member of the Hall or College. A young man wishing to see prac-
tice would be preferred, as no salary will be given. Apply to - ■-
A young man may have an intense desire, perhaps, " to see practice,"
but the look-out must be dismal indeed if unaccompanied by any
prospect of salary. We should like to know how the surgeon, in
town, would like to give his services upon the same terms as those he
offers to his assistant; and whether he would take a practice offered to
any duly qualified surgeon " wishing to see patients, as no fees will be
given ? " It may be all very well to " see practice;" but, unless the
young professional enthusiast can see his way pretty clearly how to
live without an income, the mere fact of "seeing practice" would
amount to a very visionary sort of benefit. The worthy assistant must,
it seems, put entirely out of the question all idea of serving himself, for
the very superior satisfaction of seeing, and, of course, assisting m
another person's practice. After this, we shall not be surprised to
read advertisements for partners, stating that those will be preferred
who are desirous of "seeing business, as none of the profits wdl
be given."__
The Pick of the Exhibition.
Since Mr. Hobbs has succeeded in picking Chubb's locks, we have
not been able to sleep. We have been tortured with one great fear,
which, as loval subjects, has robbed us of rest, peace, appetite, every-
thing. It is" perfectly well known that a certain Diamond, as big as
a walnut, is confined in a " safe " (the word seems to mock us), which
is secured by a lock, or a spring, or something of that sort, which has
been manufactured by Chubb—but Chubb offers no impediment to the
burglarious skill of Hobbs. Therefore, in an agony of anxiety—for
while we are asking the question, the very thing may have gone—we
put it to the Royal Commissioners—we ask the nation the following
iremendous question : "Is the Koh-i-noor Safe?"
A Regular Sell.
The Sale by Auction of the materials of the old House of Commons,
suggests the idea that if the immaterials of the new House of Com-
mons were to be cleared off, the result would be very profitable in one
sense, even though no money might be offered for any one of the ex-
tremely odd lots that would be comprised in such an arrangement.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Conductor. " Hold Hard, Bill ! Here's a Couple more Leicester Squares a-comin'
The Miraculous Cabbage.
Rose Tamisier, the Miracle-monger
in Prance, asserted that she was or-
dered by Heaven to plant a cabbage
in a convent-garden, and that in a few
days the miraculous vegetable grew to
so enormous a size that the whole
community dined off it.
Vast as this vegetable must have
been, Father Newman, of Birming-
ham, is ready to swallow the cabbage,
and all the community who ate it, and
the story into the bargain, and to
preach without inconvenience after-
wards to a select congregation.
A Nation of Shopkeepers.
"Is it not enough to make the
sword leap out of every Frenchman's
scabbard when he witnesses the cor-
rupting influence of England's Gold.
Will it be believed that within the last
week—and we can state it as a posi-
tive fact—that America has been pur-
chased — yes, vilely purchased — by
'Perfidious Albion.' How the spirit
of Washington will gibber, when he
is told that his darling America has
passed into the hands of an Englishman
for the miserable sum of £7,000!"
From an Anglo-maniacal French Paper.
A Nincompoop. — One who pays
a-Nincome-Tax when he might avoid it.
A NICE MESS FOR MESSMATES.
" Punch, ahoy!
" Here's a precious paragraph for you, that 1 've cut out of
one of the newspapers, put in by some land-lubber :—
"' Tea foe the Navy.—Messrs. W. S. Shuttleworth & Co., of 36, Fenchurch
Street, have again taken a contract to supply 50,CO0 lbs. of tea for the use of the Navy.'
" Avast there ! I sung out when first I read this. Tea !—tea for
British Seamen ! What next ? Bread-and-butter, I suppose, as though
they were young ladies at a seminary; and a pretty boarding-school,
d've see, that will make of a line-of-battle ship. Or, mayhap, Jack is
to have plum-cake with his tea, or belike, bread and jam. Tea in the
Navy! Why—shiver their cups and saucers!—'tis making the sea-
service a tea-service. Tea ! and by-and-by, I expect, a carpet laid down
on the fore-deck. Bless my eyes, if ever I thought to live to hear of
such slops as that for a seaman's chest! Well, I am blest, says I,
split my top-gallant mast! for certainly I was took quit.e aback by the
notion of tea on board a seventy-four—turning a man-of-war, d'ye
mind me, into an old woman.
Howsomedcver, when I'd chewed the matter over a bit, I twigged
it all. Steady ! thinks I to myself. Belay ! How about the truth of
this story ? It can't be. No, Punch, my hearty! I don't believe a
word of it. 'Tis a tale only fit to tell the marines. Depend upon it,
'twas hatched by some swab of a reporter, through hearing that the
Navy was to be served with canister and gunpowder. A pretty son of
a sea cook, to think that anything but grog would ever go down with
" The Old Ship, Sept., 1851. « Salt Junk."
A Challenge from Bell's Life.
The Ex-Oxford Pet, now called the Birmingham Swallower,
backs himself against any old woman in England. He offers to take down
pictures, statues, or all Madame Tussaud's wax-work, if need be. His
money is posted, and his backers ready, at Ullathorne's, the New
Mitre, Birmingham.
lines (not quite new) written in a copy of the discourses of
the miraculous doctor.
Accept the book by subtle Newman writ,
And take a miracle instead of wit.
ACullen-ary Operation.—Sending the Earth, Sun, Moon, Stars,
and Planets, all to pot.
SOMETHING TO TAKE A SIGHT AT.
Wenham ice is tolerably cool, but it is positively tepid compared
with the coolness of the following advertisement:—
MEDICAL.—WANTED, by a Surgeon, in Town, a. Visiting Assistant.
He must be a member of the Hall or College. A young man wishing to see prac-
tice would be preferred, as no salary will be given. Apply to - ■-
A young man may have an intense desire, perhaps, " to see practice,"
but the look-out must be dismal indeed if unaccompanied by any
prospect of salary. We should like to know how the surgeon, in
town, would like to give his services upon the same terms as those he
offers to his assistant; and whether he would take a practice offered to
any duly qualified surgeon " wishing to see patients, as no fees will be
given ? " It may be all very well to " see practice;" but, unless the
young professional enthusiast can see his way pretty clearly how to
live without an income, the mere fact of "seeing practice" would
amount to a very visionary sort of benefit. The worthy assistant must,
it seems, put entirely out of the question all idea of serving himself, for
the very superior satisfaction of seeing, and, of course, assisting m
another person's practice. After this, we shall not be surprised to
read advertisements for partners, stating that those will be preferred
who are desirous of "seeing business, as none of the profits wdl
be given."__
The Pick of the Exhibition.
Since Mr. Hobbs has succeeded in picking Chubb's locks, we have
not been able to sleep. We have been tortured with one great fear,
which, as loval subjects, has robbed us of rest, peace, appetite, every-
thing. It is" perfectly well known that a certain Diamond, as big as
a walnut, is confined in a " safe " (the word seems to mock us), which
is secured by a lock, or a spring, or something of that sort, which has
been manufactured by Chubb—but Chubb offers no impediment to the
burglarious skill of Hobbs. Therefore, in an agony of anxiety—for
while we are asking the question, the very thing may have gone—we
put it to the Royal Commissioners—we ask the nation the following
iremendous question : "Is the Koh-i-noor Safe?"
A Regular Sell.
The Sale by Auction of the materials of the old House of Commons,
suggests the idea that if the immaterials of the new House of Com-
mons were to be cleared off, the result would be very profitable in one
sense, even though no money might be offered for any one of the ex-
tremely odd lots that would be comprised in such an arrangement.