Punch: Punch (21.1851)

164

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON

CHARIVARI

AGE BEFORE HONESTY IN THE CHURCH.

Advertisement, of which
the following is a literal
copy, appeared in the

Cambridge Chronicle of
the 13th of September,
1851:—

nPO AGED CLERGY-
J- MEN—A Clergvman, not
less than Seventy-seven, is
sought, for presentation to a
vacant Benefice. His views
must not differ materially from
those of the Primate.

"It is desirable that he.
should possess some small Pri-
vate Means —References will
be required.

" Address-, care of Mr.

-, Cambridge.

" N.B.—No applications can
be replied to except from
parties likely to meet the ad-
vertiser's views "

It is quite clear that
here is a case in which
"age before honesty" is
required in the character
of a clergyman. He must
be not less than seventy-
seven ; or, in other words,
he must have one foot in
the grave; and as it is
quite impossible that the
poor old victim will be
able to teach his parish-
ioners how to live, he
may at least make up for
the deficiency by teach-
ing them how to die very
speedily.

" His views must not
differ materially from
prevent mistakes, the uuillaminated are apprised, that this those _ of the Primate.

is simply the letter A. The views of a poor old

gentleman of seventy-
seven can scarcely give much trouble to his clerical superior. But at all events
the advertisement gives him a hint that if he does happen to have any convictions
of his own, he must let them remain exclusively his own, and keep them to
himself accordingly.

It is also " desirable that he should possess some small private means ;" from
which it appears that the unfortunate veteran is not to expect from his benefice
enough to live upon. His "private means" must, however, be sufficiently " small"
to make his independence impossible.

Though the clergyman of seventy-seven must subjugate his own views to those
of others, it is clear that the " patron" is resolved on a will of his own; for no
applications except from those "likely to meet the advertiser's views" will be
replied to.

One of our objects, in calling attention to this disgraceful advertisement, is, to
give the " Primate," whose name, or, rather, whose title, is introduced on the
occasion, an opportunity of looking into it. We say nothing _ of the pecuniary
part of the business; for the surplus moneys of the Bishops appointed before 1848,
if retained at all, in opposition to the principles declared by the recent Order in
Council, will, of course, only be held in trust for objects of charity; and, espe-
cially, for the prevention of such scandals to the Church as are shown by an
advertisement requiring a clergyman, who is not to be paid from his benefice a
sufficient sum for his support, but who is expected to have private means to supply
the deficiency. The point to which we would direct the attention of the Bishop
of the diocese, is the age of the required incumbent, whose capacity for his duties
is altogether put out of the question, in order that he may be prevented from
encumbering too long a position which he is evidently only required to fill tem-
porarily, as an old warming-pan, the ashes of which, it is expected, will very
soon expire.

a yarn, they should have stopped short at the point of
interest; and though the incident does not exactly amount
to "spoiling the ship for a hap'orth of tar," it realises the
idea of injuring the metal rope for a littie copper.

10

THE SUB-MARINE TELEGRAPH.

We confess ourselves not a little disappointed at the non-carrying out—or,
rather, the carrying out and non-carrying home—of the sub-marine telegraph.
We had hoped to have been able to talk from London to our friends in Paris ; and
though the voice employed would have been what the critics call wiry, or ropy, we
should have been perfectly satisfied. We have been longing to see England and
Prance bound together by the tie of this extraordinary cable. The long and short
of it seems to be, that the rope is not long enough ; and after " laying out twenty-
four miles," two-thirds of a mile remain still due to enable the rope to meet its
engagements. It is a great pity that, while the manufacturers were spinning

NEW MANUAL POR MILITARY SURGE0NS.-
REYIEW.

"Punch's Outlines of Military Surgery."—This
publication is from the pen of Mr. Punch, who reviews his
own book, in doing which he is not singular. The work
was called for by the Horse Guards Order, imposing the
duty of branding deserters on army surgeons. It is, as its
name may be said to imply, a treatise on the tracing of out-
lines on the surface of the human body ; an art of which
the process of branding is an application. In it, however,
the subject of branding, generally, is fully discussed; and
sound practical directions are given to military authorities
for inflicting a stigma or mark of disgrace upon au honour-
able profession. With reference, further, to the probable
transference of the other duties of the executioner to the
military medical man, the various methods of administering
corporal and capital punishment are also described; and it
may be affirmed that this volume will prove of material
assistance to the young operator, whilst learning how to
adjust the baiter or to wield the cat. No mere book,
however, will afford the surgeon that qualification for
employment in the British Army, which, in accordance with
the views of the Profession entertained at head-quarters,
it will be incumbent on him, henceforth, to acquire from
clinical instruction in the school of Jack Ketch.

Mr. Punch does not fail to call the attention of the
Medical Profession and the public to the fact, that the
tattoo, which has hitherto exclusively devolved on the
drummer, has now been allotted, in a great measure, to
the army surgeon.

The City's Feelings towards Austria.

A recent Times Monfy article said,

" There was, generally, a letter feeling in the Foreign Stock Market
to-day."

This must have been rather a bad job for the Austrian
Loan.