DOI issue:
July to December, 1851
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16608#0197
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
185
may as well be called upon to acknowledge that a plum-pudding can be
boiled in a hat. Such an operation is not more incomprehensible than
wishing a series of ideas into the head of a person asleep a dozen
paces off.
" Similarly, at tae mental command of Mb. Lassaigne, Miss Pru-
dence enacted various attitudes, after divers statues and pictures.
Anybody might suggest such as he chose. I proposed Jim Crow.
This I did, not out of buffoonery (which I despise), but because I
thought Jim Chow's an unlikely figure to have been preconcerted.
The interpreter, with a bland smile, told me that Jim Crow was
' impossible—a caricature.'
" So I came away little wiser than I went; for I knew beforehand
that mesmerists show extraordinary phenomena, to which they seldom
let you apply the rather necessary process of analysis. They call, in
reference to their most astounding prodigies, the common caution with
which a chemist—or any other philosopher—verifies the least remarkable
fact, scepticism. Nobody else talks thus, except friars and quacks. As
long as mesmerists continue to resemble them, I am afraid that their
wonders, however authentic, will obtain no more credit amongst
reasoning men, than the relics of the one, or the panaceas of the other.
" Yours truly,
"The Sceptical Gentleman."
ST. PATRICK'S JOURNALS.
ome days ago the Times quoted a
speech of Lord Lu can's from
the Irish Daily Express, which
speech, it turns out.LoRDLucAN
never made. Punch might have
done—nay? has done—the same
thing. Irish papers should be
careful. A mistake in the
Times may be rectified with-
out much harm; but a blunder
in Punch must remain uncor-
rected for a week, during
which, it is of course acting
like a blunderbuss. Mr. Punch
would like to see an Irish re-
port of a Parliament on Col-
lege Green. The London re-
porters from the Emerald Isle
are picked men, and do their
spiriting accurately, as well as
gently. But were their places
supplied by some of their
brethren at home, we should
probably find now and then,
of a fine morning, one of Mr.
W. J. Pox's harangues ascribed
to Sir Robert Inglts, or
a speech of Colonel Sib-
thorp's saddled on Lord John
Russell.
THE LAW OF DOMESTIC STORMS.
Whilst scientific men are very laudably devoting themselves to the
study of storms in general, we propose investigating that particular
branch of the subject which is applicable to every-day life; for a know-
ledge of the theory and causes of domestic storms must be useful to all
classes of the community.
It was on contemplating the ruin caused by a domestic hurricane, in
the midst of China, that the writer first conceived the idea of giving
his head to a subject about which his head had been broken more than
once, though he had never before thought of collecting together the
results of his experience.
He had observed that the various domestic storms he had encoun-
tered, as mate of a very troublesome craft, though sometimes sudden
and furious, had generally some determined cause, and frequently took
the same direction, by concentrating towards himself all their violence.
He resolved, therefore, on keeping a log, or journal, in which he
noted down, from hour to hour, the state of the craft to which he acted
as mate—with the nominal rank of commander. He described her
condition under a slight breeze, her behaviour in rough weather, the
effect produced upon her by all sorts of airs; and, in fact, he collected
such information, that he thought any judicious mate, attached to a
similar craft, would find little difficulty in her management.
One of the curiosities of this domestic experience, is the fact, that the
same hurricanes prevail at about the same periods of the year; and it
is remarkable, that though the wind seems to be raised with immense
difficulty about Christmas time, domestic storms are most prevalent
at that period.
These storms are not felt to operate so severely on those who are
provided with a heavy balance, which prevents the agitating influence
of those fearful ups and downs which are met with at the time
alluded to.
Those who are protected by the shelter of a bank are comparatively
safe in these storms; though the less substantial craft, unable to meet
an unusually heavy draft, will frequently be found incapable of keeping
the head above water.
It is a singular fact, that domestic, like other storms, prevail it
circles; and, indeed, there is no circle in which they are not to be
found; for they visit the family circle, the higher circles, and the lower
circles, with almost equal regularity.
A thorough understanding of the domestic hurricane is of course
invaluable to a master having the charge of one of the weaker vessels,
for it enables him to perceive the storm coming on, and to pass out of
it. A domestic storm is generally preceded by a great deal of puffing
and. blowing, which leads more or less gradually to a regular blow up;
and the craft will frequently begin to heave in every direction. Some
masters endeavour to meet the storm by heaving to; but this often
doubles, without subduing, its violence. The damage done daring a
domestic storm of this nature is always very great, and a family
wreck is not unfrequently the sad consequence.
The numerous different airs that prevail, and form, as it were, the
elements of a domestic storm, would form a long and lament-
able chapter of themselves; but we give the heads of a few of the
principal. Sometimes a storm begins with trifling airs, but these often
increase suddenly to a squall of the most alarming character. Some-
times a storm commences with vapours, which by degrees dissolve into
moisture, and a squall springs up, accompanied by torrents of tears
rushing down the face of nature, or ill-nature, with fearful fury. A
storm of th's kind passes over more quickly than some of the other
sorts, though the craft often gees right over on her beam-ends ; and,
under these circumstances, if allowed to lay-to for a time, she will
most probably right of herself, without the mate or master taking any
trouble. If he is timid, he will probably begin to try and bring the
craft round, by taking her out of stays, cutting away her rigging, or
some other desperate process ; but the best way is to leave her alone,
though it is sometimes justifiable to dip her jib well into the water, for
the purpose of keeping her steady. If the domestic storm threatens
to be disagreeably durable, and the squall continues, it may be advisable
to lower the gaff, by reefing the throat-rope or cap-string under the
jaws, and make all taut and quiet. This process is termed, in nautical
phraseology, bending a spanker; and there is no doubt that the most
formidable spanker may be bent by a firm adoption of the plan
suggested. If she labours much, you can ease the throat-rope, so as to
give room for everything to work fairly aloft; but if you see a squall
getting up, clew her down immediately.
Punch's Game of Definitions.
Empty Greatness.—The Crystal Palace with everything taken
out of it.
The Hollow World.—Mr. Wyld's Great Globe.
hocus VEBSUS pocus.
According to the Rambler, the Holy Office—as our papistical con-
temporary calls the Inquisition—has prohibited the practice of Animal
Magnetism. Clairvoyance, perhaps, is an infringement of the patent ot
S. S. (?) Ignatius Loyola and Rose Tamisier. The miracle-mongery
line does not, more than any other trade, admit of rivals.
Afternoon Employment Wanted—by a Gentleman, who, in con-
sequence of the Closing of the Great Exhibition, doesn't know what on
earth to do with himself. Address. A. Lounger, Esq., Fop's Alley.
185
may as well be called upon to acknowledge that a plum-pudding can be
boiled in a hat. Such an operation is not more incomprehensible than
wishing a series of ideas into the head of a person asleep a dozen
paces off.
" Similarly, at tae mental command of Mb. Lassaigne, Miss Pru-
dence enacted various attitudes, after divers statues and pictures.
Anybody might suggest such as he chose. I proposed Jim Crow.
This I did, not out of buffoonery (which I despise), but because I
thought Jim Chow's an unlikely figure to have been preconcerted.
The interpreter, with a bland smile, told me that Jim Crow was
' impossible—a caricature.'
" So I came away little wiser than I went; for I knew beforehand
that mesmerists show extraordinary phenomena, to which they seldom
let you apply the rather necessary process of analysis. They call, in
reference to their most astounding prodigies, the common caution with
which a chemist—or any other philosopher—verifies the least remarkable
fact, scepticism. Nobody else talks thus, except friars and quacks. As
long as mesmerists continue to resemble them, I am afraid that their
wonders, however authentic, will obtain no more credit amongst
reasoning men, than the relics of the one, or the panaceas of the other.
" Yours truly,
"The Sceptical Gentleman."
ST. PATRICK'S JOURNALS.
ome days ago the Times quoted a
speech of Lord Lu can's from
the Irish Daily Express, which
speech, it turns out.LoRDLucAN
never made. Punch might have
done—nay? has done—the same
thing. Irish papers should be
careful. A mistake in the
Times may be rectified with-
out much harm; but a blunder
in Punch must remain uncor-
rected for a week, during
which, it is of course acting
like a blunderbuss. Mr. Punch
would like to see an Irish re-
port of a Parliament on Col-
lege Green. The London re-
porters from the Emerald Isle
are picked men, and do their
spiriting accurately, as well as
gently. But were their places
supplied by some of their
brethren at home, we should
probably find now and then,
of a fine morning, one of Mr.
W. J. Pox's harangues ascribed
to Sir Robert Inglts, or
a speech of Colonel Sib-
thorp's saddled on Lord John
Russell.
THE LAW OF DOMESTIC STORMS.
Whilst scientific men are very laudably devoting themselves to the
study of storms in general, we propose investigating that particular
branch of the subject which is applicable to every-day life; for a know-
ledge of the theory and causes of domestic storms must be useful to all
classes of the community.
It was on contemplating the ruin caused by a domestic hurricane, in
the midst of China, that the writer first conceived the idea of giving
his head to a subject about which his head had been broken more than
once, though he had never before thought of collecting together the
results of his experience.
He had observed that the various domestic storms he had encoun-
tered, as mate of a very troublesome craft, though sometimes sudden
and furious, had generally some determined cause, and frequently took
the same direction, by concentrating towards himself all their violence.
He resolved, therefore, on keeping a log, or journal, in which he
noted down, from hour to hour, the state of the craft to which he acted
as mate—with the nominal rank of commander. He described her
condition under a slight breeze, her behaviour in rough weather, the
effect produced upon her by all sorts of airs; and, in fact, he collected
such information, that he thought any judicious mate, attached to a
similar craft, would find little difficulty in her management.
One of the curiosities of this domestic experience, is the fact, that the
same hurricanes prevail at about the same periods of the year; and it
is remarkable, that though the wind seems to be raised with immense
difficulty about Christmas time, domestic storms are most prevalent
at that period.
These storms are not felt to operate so severely on those who are
provided with a heavy balance, which prevents the agitating influence
of those fearful ups and downs which are met with at the time
alluded to.
Those who are protected by the shelter of a bank are comparatively
safe in these storms; though the less substantial craft, unable to meet
an unusually heavy draft, will frequently be found incapable of keeping
the head above water.
It is a singular fact, that domestic, like other storms, prevail it
circles; and, indeed, there is no circle in which they are not to be
found; for they visit the family circle, the higher circles, and the lower
circles, with almost equal regularity.
A thorough understanding of the domestic hurricane is of course
invaluable to a master having the charge of one of the weaker vessels,
for it enables him to perceive the storm coming on, and to pass out of
it. A domestic storm is generally preceded by a great deal of puffing
and. blowing, which leads more or less gradually to a regular blow up;
and the craft will frequently begin to heave in every direction. Some
masters endeavour to meet the storm by heaving to; but this often
doubles, without subduing, its violence. The damage done daring a
domestic storm of this nature is always very great, and a family
wreck is not unfrequently the sad consequence.
The numerous different airs that prevail, and form, as it were, the
elements of a domestic storm, would form a long and lament-
able chapter of themselves; but we give the heads of a few of the
principal. Sometimes a storm begins with trifling airs, but these often
increase suddenly to a squall of the most alarming character. Some-
times a storm commences with vapours, which by degrees dissolve into
moisture, and a squall springs up, accompanied by torrents of tears
rushing down the face of nature, or ill-nature, with fearful fury. A
storm of th's kind passes over more quickly than some of the other
sorts, though the craft often gees right over on her beam-ends ; and,
under these circumstances, if allowed to lay-to for a time, she will
most probably right of herself, without the mate or master taking any
trouble. If he is timid, he will probably begin to try and bring the
craft round, by taking her out of stays, cutting away her rigging, or
some other desperate process ; but the best way is to leave her alone,
though it is sometimes justifiable to dip her jib well into the water, for
the purpose of keeping her steady. If the domestic storm threatens
to be disagreeably durable, and the squall continues, it may be advisable
to lower the gaff, by reefing the throat-rope or cap-string under the
jaws, and make all taut and quiet. This process is termed, in nautical
phraseology, bending a spanker; and there is no doubt that the most
formidable spanker may be bent by a firm adoption of the plan
suggested. If she labours much, you can ease the throat-rope, so as to
give room for everything to work fairly aloft; but if you see a squall
getting up, clew her down immediately.
Punch's Game of Definitions.
Empty Greatness.—The Crystal Palace with everything taken
out of it.
The Hollow World.—Mr. Wyld's Great Globe.
hocus VEBSUS pocus.
According to the Rambler, the Holy Office—as our papistical con-
temporary calls the Inquisition—has prohibited the practice of Animal
Magnetism. Clairvoyance, perhaps, is an infringement of the patent ot
S. S. (?) Ignatius Loyola and Rose Tamisier. The miracle-mongery
line does not, more than any other trade, admit of rivals.
Afternoon Employment Wanted—by a Gentleman, who, in con-
sequence of the Closing of the Great Exhibition, doesn't know what on
earth to do with himself. Address. A. Lounger, Esq., Fop's Alley.