DOI issue:
July to December, 1851
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16608#0223
212
PUNCH OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
MR. MOLONY ON THE POSITION OF THE
BAR AND ATTORNEYS.
{To the Editors of Newspapers in general.)
ik,— The Times newspaper?
in its articles of Friday and
Saturday upon the position
of Barristers and Attorneys,
kindles the hopes, as it
speaks the sentiments, of
thousands of meritorious,
and gifted, and unfortunate
men. I am one of these—a
Barrister: I blush not to
own it—hitherto a briefless
one. Of what avail have
been my genius and my toil,
my presence in the Courts,
my nights at the lamp?
My brow is furrowed, my
hopes have grown grey in
this poor chamber whence I
write—sitting solitary.
" I take my meals in our
Hall (not for choice, perhaps—but let that pass), and hear the
ribald jokes of my brethren, regarding a subject which concerns us
so nearly. But yesterday, as with a heaving breast and an eye
flashing with indignation, I commented upon the statement of the
Law Review and the Times, that an Attorney had settled a practice
to the amount of a thousand a-year upon his daughter, the wife of a
Barrister—Wiggins, of the Western Circuit, a flippant member of the
mess, with the heartlessness which characterises him, said, ' I recom-
mend you, Molony, my boy, to see if the Attorney has got any
more daughters to marry.' And he added, that he himself intended
to take lodgings in Bedford Row, and create an early interest
in the girls' minds, by giving lollipops to the Attorneys' children as they
went out to walk. Other remarks of a similar nature were made.
Mr. Hugson's name was mentioned amongst others, who has thrown
over a young lady who was tenderly attached to him, for the purpose of
marrying a young lady who has a large Old Bailey connection.
" Sir—these remarks sickened me. I come of a race that holds honour
Sacred, and likes not to jest with Sacred things. That the Attorney
may be cast back into the perdition from which the reptile sprung—that
that livid and low-born wretch shall no longer interpose between the
chivalrous Barrister and the distressed public, is the wish and hope of
my heart.
_ " Cast away this intermeddler, and a new era commences for a profes-
sion. Talent henceforth speaks for itself. Parties interested in litiga-
tion are therefore interested in selecting their own Counsel. That an
Attorney's wife should be his mother-in-law, is no longer considered to
be a requisite part of the education of a Barrister-at-Law. The pro-
fession is to oe relieved from that incubus ; and walks forth in its high
mission, erect and free.
" Except upon terms of hostility, I, for one, declare upon my honour,
I have never had dealings with an Attorney. I have known such men
but as the extortionate agents of unscrupulous tradesmen. Rather
than receive the emissaries of Attorneys, the writs of Attorneys, I have
quitted my chambers for the country, or the apartments of a friend, or
1 have simulated absence, and closed my door.
" In court, and on circuit, I have preserved the same independent
line of conduct. I have passed briefs across the table to other men.
I myself was too proud to have dealings with persons belonging to the
lower branch of a profession which is at once the noblest and the most
debasing in existence.
"In the country where 1 first drew breath, and over which my
ancestors reigned sovereign—in the green land of my fathers—(need I
name thee, my beautiful, my beloved, my persecuted Ireland?)—
Attorneys have been shot, have been hustled, have been ducked to
death. My dying sire left me scarce any other legacy than hereditary
enmity to that race. In my heart of hearts I cherish that hatred : in
my bosom's depths I nourish that holy and unquenchable flame.
Attorneys brought ruin upon me and mine. Vampires ! how long have
they fattened on the red blood of the noble and the brave ! A coward,
skulking, and in disguise, a janissary of a firm in Dublin, penetrated my
grandsire's hall, and served a writ on the unsuspecting old man. Ruin
followed on his ruthless footstep. The halls are desolate now, where
the great feasted, and the poor found shelter. The Attorney passed
over our threshold, and the child of kings was a beggar. There is a
grass-grown ruin in Connemara—there is a quenched hearthstone
among the weeds there—where the fires of princes smoked for a
thousand years. In a lonely chamber, in London, their descendant
struggles against fortune. Something tells him that she will visit
the Exile!
"The time has come, then, when the Attorney may be dashed aside,
and the Barrister may present himself with open breast to the world.
I am ready. I am here. Men of England, seek ye redress ? Here is
one will help ye. Unfortunate, need ye a Champion? Oppressed,
need ye eloquence to aid your cause ? Orphans, are ye deprived of
vour rights ? Mothers, wives, children! tremble ye for the fate of son,
husband, father, pursued by vindictiveness ? Here is one that will
shelter ye in his immaculate robe, while he does battle with the yelling
hell-hounds of the law !
" My written style is feeble in comparison with my spoken eloquence;
the torrents of my native mountains are not more impetuous than the
cascades of my oratory. Rainbows play around their irresistible flow—
they fructify as they roll. I adorn every subject which I touch. I
have a mind enriched with classic lore, and with native tradition. I
wait. I am ready. I am here.
" I beg to announce that I shall be at home for consultation at my
chambers, 5, Gutter Court, Temple, fourth floor—from nine o'clock till
eleven every morning: and in the evenings after the Courts of West-
minster are closed.
" As I have never yet received the visits of any Attorney, the public may
have confidence in me ; and I shall be happy to give advice and take
fees directly, and without the intervention of the middle man, so
ruinous alike to counsel and client.
" My staircase is proverbially easy of ascent, and occasionally lighted
at night. My sitting-room is airy. A bench for clients will be found
in the passage, and gentlemen coming on business connected with the
Old Bailey will be treated privately in my clerk's room, by one who
hopes the public will soon better know the name of
" Temple, Nov. 7. Thaddeus Molony."
AN ELYSIAN TEA PARTY.
In bright Elysian bowers a troop of dames,
Such, first of Georges, as thine era claims,
As still their custom, blest as sprites can be,
Met to partake in tattle and in tea.
A purer Hyson scatters fragrance round;
With choicer China stands the table crown'd
A sleeker Cat is purring on the rug;
Upon the sofa snores a fatter Pug;
More hideous Idols goggle on the shelf,
And tea is handed by a blacker Elf.
Oh, happy they, in that delightful place,
With endless cards and everlasting lace,
Unfading silks, and charms that never droop,
And all the glories of the train and hoop,
Where, fixed for ever in their proper sphere,
They 're more at home than ever they were here.
" What news from Earth ?" Belinda first began ;
" What's the last folly of that monster, Man ? "—
" Not Man's," fair Celia said, "the last new freak."—
" Indeed ! What is 't ?" cried Chloe. " Prithee, speak! "-
" A revolution "—" I supposed no less,"
Phyllis exclaim'd—" has broken out in—dress.
A Colonel's Colonel, Fashion's law defies,
And lifts the name of Bloomer to the skies.
A hat, like some gigantic mushroom, shades
The head, whose locks are bound in closest braids;
A light surtout invests the female beau-"—
" Gracious ! " cried Daphne ; Cynthia murmured u Oh!"—
"The flowing form no stays coercive bind ;
No tasteful art sets off the form behind.
Scarce to the knee the tunic's skirt descends,
And the attire—in short—in trousers ends."—
" The strife is won at last! " sharp Bridget cries,
"And woman gains the long-disputed prize."—
" Nay," replies sage Clarissa, " child, not so!
Ne'er to those—things—the sex will influence owe;
Still let them keep—if they'd retain their sway—
Those flowing robes, that most mankind obey.
Power's empty badges leave the men to bear;
Nor, save in figure, what-d'ye-call-'ems wear.
But see, here comes Sir Plume's conceited ghost:
CjESar !—my fan, and more ambrosia-toast! "
Sporting, British and Foreign.
The Sun, reports that—
" The long-talked-of fight between Lord II-'a two owls—Iron Beak and Young,
and twelve rats—came off at midnight, on the 27th of October, in the drawing-room
of the Jockey Club."
Is not the venue of this transaction a misnomer, as the lawyers say ?
Drawing-room ? Should it not have been Badger-drawing-room ?
PUNCH OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
MR. MOLONY ON THE POSITION OF THE
BAR AND ATTORNEYS.
{To the Editors of Newspapers in general.)
ik,— The Times newspaper?
in its articles of Friday and
Saturday upon the position
of Barristers and Attorneys,
kindles the hopes, as it
speaks the sentiments, of
thousands of meritorious,
and gifted, and unfortunate
men. I am one of these—a
Barrister: I blush not to
own it—hitherto a briefless
one. Of what avail have
been my genius and my toil,
my presence in the Courts,
my nights at the lamp?
My brow is furrowed, my
hopes have grown grey in
this poor chamber whence I
write—sitting solitary.
" I take my meals in our
Hall (not for choice, perhaps—but let that pass), and hear the
ribald jokes of my brethren, regarding a subject which concerns us
so nearly. But yesterday, as with a heaving breast and an eye
flashing with indignation, I commented upon the statement of the
Law Review and the Times, that an Attorney had settled a practice
to the amount of a thousand a-year upon his daughter, the wife of a
Barrister—Wiggins, of the Western Circuit, a flippant member of the
mess, with the heartlessness which characterises him, said, ' I recom-
mend you, Molony, my boy, to see if the Attorney has got any
more daughters to marry.' And he added, that he himself intended
to take lodgings in Bedford Row, and create an early interest
in the girls' minds, by giving lollipops to the Attorneys' children as they
went out to walk. Other remarks of a similar nature were made.
Mr. Hugson's name was mentioned amongst others, who has thrown
over a young lady who was tenderly attached to him, for the purpose of
marrying a young lady who has a large Old Bailey connection.
" Sir—these remarks sickened me. I come of a race that holds honour
Sacred, and likes not to jest with Sacred things. That the Attorney
may be cast back into the perdition from which the reptile sprung—that
that livid and low-born wretch shall no longer interpose between the
chivalrous Barrister and the distressed public, is the wish and hope of
my heart.
_ " Cast away this intermeddler, and a new era commences for a profes-
sion. Talent henceforth speaks for itself. Parties interested in litiga-
tion are therefore interested in selecting their own Counsel. That an
Attorney's wife should be his mother-in-law, is no longer considered to
be a requisite part of the education of a Barrister-at-Law. The pro-
fession is to oe relieved from that incubus ; and walks forth in its high
mission, erect and free.
" Except upon terms of hostility, I, for one, declare upon my honour,
I have never had dealings with an Attorney. I have known such men
but as the extortionate agents of unscrupulous tradesmen. Rather
than receive the emissaries of Attorneys, the writs of Attorneys, I have
quitted my chambers for the country, or the apartments of a friend, or
1 have simulated absence, and closed my door.
" In court, and on circuit, I have preserved the same independent
line of conduct. I have passed briefs across the table to other men.
I myself was too proud to have dealings with persons belonging to the
lower branch of a profession which is at once the noblest and the most
debasing in existence.
"In the country where 1 first drew breath, and over which my
ancestors reigned sovereign—in the green land of my fathers—(need I
name thee, my beautiful, my beloved, my persecuted Ireland?)—
Attorneys have been shot, have been hustled, have been ducked to
death. My dying sire left me scarce any other legacy than hereditary
enmity to that race. In my heart of hearts I cherish that hatred : in
my bosom's depths I nourish that holy and unquenchable flame.
Attorneys brought ruin upon me and mine. Vampires ! how long have
they fattened on the red blood of the noble and the brave ! A coward,
skulking, and in disguise, a janissary of a firm in Dublin, penetrated my
grandsire's hall, and served a writ on the unsuspecting old man. Ruin
followed on his ruthless footstep. The halls are desolate now, where
the great feasted, and the poor found shelter. The Attorney passed
over our threshold, and the child of kings was a beggar. There is a
grass-grown ruin in Connemara—there is a quenched hearthstone
among the weeds there—where the fires of princes smoked for a
thousand years. In a lonely chamber, in London, their descendant
struggles against fortune. Something tells him that she will visit
the Exile!
"The time has come, then, when the Attorney may be dashed aside,
and the Barrister may present himself with open breast to the world.
I am ready. I am here. Men of England, seek ye redress ? Here is
one will help ye. Unfortunate, need ye a Champion? Oppressed,
need ye eloquence to aid your cause ? Orphans, are ye deprived of
vour rights ? Mothers, wives, children! tremble ye for the fate of son,
husband, father, pursued by vindictiveness ? Here is one that will
shelter ye in his immaculate robe, while he does battle with the yelling
hell-hounds of the law !
" My written style is feeble in comparison with my spoken eloquence;
the torrents of my native mountains are not more impetuous than the
cascades of my oratory. Rainbows play around their irresistible flow—
they fructify as they roll. I adorn every subject which I touch. I
have a mind enriched with classic lore, and with native tradition. I
wait. I am ready. I am here.
" I beg to announce that I shall be at home for consultation at my
chambers, 5, Gutter Court, Temple, fourth floor—from nine o'clock till
eleven every morning: and in the evenings after the Courts of West-
minster are closed.
" As I have never yet received the visits of any Attorney, the public may
have confidence in me ; and I shall be happy to give advice and take
fees directly, and without the intervention of the middle man, so
ruinous alike to counsel and client.
" My staircase is proverbially easy of ascent, and occasionally lighted
at night. My sitting-room is airy. A bench for clients will be found
in the passage, and gentlemen coming on business connected with the
Old Bailey will be treated privately in my clerk's room, by one who
hopes the public will soon better know the name of
" Temple, Nov. 7. Thaddeus Molony."
AN ELYSIAN TEA PARTY.
In bright Elysian bowers a troop of dames,
Such, first of Georges, as thine era claims,
As still their custom, blest as sprites can be,
Met to partake in tattle and in tea.
A purer Hyson scatters fragrance round;
With choicer China stands the table crown'd
A sleeker Cat is purring on the rug;
Upon the sofa snores a fatter Pug;
More hideous Idols goggle on the shelf,
And tea is handed by a blacker Elf.
Oh, happy they, in that delightful place,
With endless cards and everlasting lace,
Unfading silks, and charms that never droop,
And all the glories of the train and hoop,
Where, fixed for ever in their proper sphere,
They 're more at home than ever they were here.
" What news from Earth ?" Belinda first began ;
" What's the last folly of that monster, Man ? "—
" Not Man's," fair Celia said, "the last new freak."—
" Indeed ! What is 't ?" cried Chloe. " Prithee, speak! "-
" A revolution "—" I supposed no less,"
Phyllis exclaim'd—" has broken out in—dress.
A Colonel's Colonel, Fashion's law defies,
And lifts the name of Bloomer to the skies.
A hat, like some gigantic mushroom, shades
The head, whose locks are bound in closest braids;
A light surtout invests the female beau-"—
" Gracious ! " cried Daphne ; Cynthia murmured u Oh!"—
"The flowing form no stays coercive bind ;
No tasteful art sets off the form behind.
Scarce to the knee the tunic's skirt descends,
And the attire—in short—in trousers ends."—
" The strife is won at last! " sharp Bridget cries,
"And woman gains the long-disputed prize."—
" Nay," replies sage Clarissa, " child, not so!
Ne'er to those—things—the sex will influence owe;
Still let them keep—if they'd retain their sway—
Those flowing robes, that most mankind obey.
Power's empty badges leave the men to bear;
Nor, save in figure, what-d'ye-call-'ems wear.
But see, here comes Sir Plume's conceited ghost:
CjESar !—my fan, and more ambrosia-toast! "
Sporting, British and Foreign.
The Sun, reports that—
" The long-talked-of fight between Lord II-'a two owls—Iron Beak and Young,
and twelve rats—came off at midnight, on the 27th of October, in the drawing-room
of the Jockey Club."
Is not the venue of this transaction a misnomer, as the lawyers say ?
Drawing-room ? Should it not have been Badger-drawing-room ?