DOI issue:
July to December, 1851
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16608#0238
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
227
POLITICAL REFLECTIONS.
{By a Fast Man.)
Emperor or Aus-
tria amuses himself
by sticking up ho-
nourable names on a
gallows. Better see
your name on a
gallows than on a
bill!
Sfrofo git. ^baits' caus"ccf }3arKettes* of jfi-oberetjrnes' to ftye
™ fftrnucrfj the aire tottftout ijantics\
existing circum
stances it would be
absurd to call him
their " Governor."
No wonder Louis
Napoleon's position
is an embarrassing
one. He's obliged
to get everything of
value about him—
from his "Uncle's!"
London, with its
Sanitary Boards, al-
ways reminds me of
the old man in
iEsop's fable. When
Death came to him
—it found him with
a bundle of sticks.
Antiquarians tell
us that " please the
pigs" is only a corruption of " please the pyx" How exquisitely does
the history of Ireland illustrate the fact! How beautifully has she
managed to make them come to the same thing!
Anne Hicks, like Action, has been eaten up among the Woods
and Forests.
Ye Sainte, havinge neede of monie, as indeede he often had neede of
ye same for his goode workes, went to one Coppocke, that was hh
friend of olde, thoughe he after was a foule traitoure, as I shall tell
anon, and told him of his needes. Then Coppocke winked, but saide
no thinge, as was his wonte, for he was a stille man and a sely. Then
ye Sainte, that redde his thoughtis, knew well that he wotted whence
ye monie mighte come, but wolde not anie sholde see it broughte
where they were, for i'eare lest ye enemies of ye Sainte sholde know
of ye same. Then ye Sainte, when he knewe this, prayed in his heart
The Pope is called ' f°r ye monie to come; and beholde, packettes of sovereignes came
the Father of his 1 withoute handes, and were putte in ye office of ye said Coppocke, so
people. But under I thatte no one saw any that broughte them ; and thence departed in like
manere, also without handes, and came into ye pockettes of ye Sainte ;
and none knew whence they came, nor whither they wente; but it was
all in goode werkes.
$efoe ILtbes of tfje ISngltsf) Satntes*
BY A. NEWMAN.
3t.—23cttiQ ge jLtfe of ye bleSsctt £atnte attaiuf, ttntf)
ye jMtrarles" rhat \)z toroucrhte, anti ne cruel iWarttirUflmc
nf the siamE.
Forword to the Readere.
As I have emprized to write ye lives of some amongst ye most
glorious of >e Saintes of this our Englelonde, meseemeth it goode,
in ye performinge of ye same, to use such Englyshe as learned and reve-
rende men were wonte to use, in times past, albeit I write whenne ye
good aunciente fashion of spellinge and writinge is so changed for new-
fanglednesse of moderne times, that menne may scarce reade ye true
olde Englisshe tongue. And I wolde faine have hadde ye same im-
printed in ye black lettere as of olde was used by William Caxton,
and Wynkyn de Worde, and otheres of ye olde time. Nay, rather
wolde I have chosen that ye saide lives sholde have ben written by ye
hande of sely scribes, and not printed, as was ye use in ye goode olde
times. But ye publisheres, Bradburie and Evannes, wolde not.
So, I praye you, fayre my readeres, that it mislike you not, that I
goe back in my writinge to ye auncient manere, for in all thinges I
holde it goode to goe backe, and not forewarde, as is the Dewfangled
and friskie waye of the present eville times.
tooto #t. aifianS, betntre yet fonge, boWii ffeclarea IjtS J3eltef
amonge ye ponge $agan£ bts companions'.
Ye Sainte being yet a childe, and playinge amonge other little chil-
dren, they wolde declaren of whatte manere of belief they were; one
sayinge " I am a Whigge," and another " I am a Torie," and another
"I am a Radicalle," as the names of their heathenishe sects then
were. Then St. Albans being asked of his beliefe, saide, " I am
neither Tone, nor Whigge, nor Radicalle; but I am of ye faithe of
Number One, that is greaterre than all these." Then they asked him
Where is this Number One, and under what image is he worshipped ?"
u jSt' Albans to°k from ms pouche medalles in golde, and
showed them the image of him he worshipped; and manie of them
were converted, and worshipped Number One, forsakeing the false gods
of ye Whigge, and Torie, and Radicalle faithe, that they had wor-
shipped till that time.
3tootu &>t Hbans" marbcITous'Tte toofc afoate ye ^Icmorte nf
^ gnmtirte.
Sundrie menne having promised their voices to a certaine fellowe
that was a candidate to serve in Parliament, ye Sainte, that woulde not
that fellowe should be chosen, sente for ye saide menne, and, whenne
they came, they saide, "We vote for such a fellowe." Thenne the
Sainte, being resolved to turn their heartes, tooke their hands into his
owne, and placeing therein certaine pieces of coine that had a virtue
imparted to them, for thatte they had touched the lininge of his
pockette, these menne straightwaye forgotte all they had promised, and
were obedient to ye wille of ye Sainte, and wente and gave their voices
to him ye Sainte wolde that they sholde give them to ; and so he didde
oftentimes.
Sfooto ye Jpatnte rau^etf one namelr SlTaggette ttttcrlic to
w irtsu-ippear from Before $t &tep^en.
Sainte Stephen once on a time wished to have speeche of one
Waggette, that was a trend to Sainte Albans, and Waggette
wolde not. Then the Sainte didde miraculously cause ye saide Wag-
gette suddenlie to disappeare, so that when those of St. Stephens
householde soughte him, lie mote not be anywhere founde ; so that
those of St. Stephens householde marvelled thereat. But when St.
Albans wolde, then caused he the saide Waggette to appeare as
suddenlie as he had made him to vanishe awaie.
And this miracle he wroughte also with manie that he wolde not
shoulde be founde of his enemies.
Jbofo ye ^atntc oftentimes" rattgeir fhe jgitrcctes" to flattie tottfj
3Bccre, ana miraculously oprncb ye tfoarrsi of ye publtcRe
Ijous'es'.
Ye Sainte, of his tender hearte, wolde sore pitie ye poorer sorte when
lie sawe them thirstie, and no coine to buy drinke withal. And olten
he wroughte upon je publicanes by his miraculous powere, so that they
drewe their spiggottes, and turned their tappes, and let the beere to
runne for all that had neede, and manie were dronken, and paide
nothinge. And also at the worde of the Sainte, ye doores of ye publicke
houses wolde fiie opene, that men entered therein without coine, and
eate and dranke of the beste, and paide none, yet the landlordes lost
noughte therebie; for ye Sainte, by his miraculous power, made coine
to come into their pouches, whiche whenne theyre wives found therein,
whanne they wente to bedde, they marvelled thereat, and knewe not
whence it came. And of manie such goode workes the Sainte ne
boasted nothinge.
3£)0ta ye giatnte bias" fnullte Ijetraycii by one (£&toflrrjej» and
w Coppocfte that nretcnlfelr to be %i$ jfrcncies'.
Now ye Sainte having passed a long life in goode workes such as I
have to'lde, it befelle that St. Stephen's householde, who had long
borne him an ill wille for his goode workes of charitie, caste aboute
to destroye him; and, finding two lewde knaves that ye Sainte
had oft-times used for his almoneres, (ycleped Edwardes and Cop-
pocke, of whom I spake already,) they suborned them, and on their
witnesse, condemned St. Albans to die, and he was ye firste martyre
of those that were slaine by the heretics, called Keformeres, from
whom, whether in Churche or State, may the Saintes deliver us.
©f ye last anil cfjtefe j&iraclc that j?atnte Albans" Eciroujrhte.
Being broughte to die, they chose one Russell to be his execu-
tionere, that had not before then been an enemie of the Sainte. And
the saide Russelle and Coppocke standing bye, were so moved by ye
blessed dethe of that martyre, that they were suddenlie converted
therebye to ye faithe in ye Ballotte, and straightwaye confessed the
same. And methinks of alle the greate miracles wroughte by this
Sainte, this is the greateste.
227
POLITICAL REFLECTIONS.
{By a Fast Man.)
Emperor or Aus-
tria amuses himself
by sticking up ho-
nourable names on a
gallows. Better see
your name on a
gallows than on a
bill!
Sfrofo git. ^baits' caus"ccf }3arKettes* of jfi-oberetjrnes' to ftye
™ fftrnucrfj the aire tottftout ijantics\
existing circum
stances it would be
absurd to call him
their " Governor."
No wonder Louis
Napoleon's position
is an embarrassing
one. He's obliged
to get everything of
value about him—
from his "Uncle's!"
London, with its
Sanitary Boards, al-
ways reminds me of
the old man in
iEsop's fable. When
Death came to him
—it found him with
a bundle of sticks.
Antiquarians tell
us that " please the
pigs" is only a corruption of " please the pyx" How exquisitely does
the history of Ireland illustrate the fact! How beautifully has she
managed to make them come to the same thing!
Anne Hicks, like Action, has been eaten up among the Woods
and Forests.
Ye Sainte, havinge neede of monie, as indeede he often had neede of
ye same for his goode workes, went to one Coppocke, that was hh
friend of olde, thoughe he after was a foule traitoure, as I shall tell
anon, and told him of his needes. Then Coppocke winked, but saide
no thinge, as was his wonte, for he was a stille man and a sely. Then
ye Sainte, that redde his thoughtis, knew well that he wotted whence
ye monie mighte come, but wolde not anie sholde see it broughte
where they were, for i'eare lest ye enemies of ye Sainte sholde know
of ye same. Then ye Sainte, when he knewe this, prayed in his heart
The Pope is called ' f°r ye monie to come; and beholde, packettes of sovereignes came
the Father of his 1 withoute handes, and were putte in ye office of ye said Coppocke, so
people. But under I thatte no one saw any that broughte them ; and thence departed in like
manere, also without handes, and came into ye pockettes of ye Sainte ;
and none knew whence they came, nor whither they wente; but it was
all in goode werkes.
$efoe ILtbes of tfje ISngltsf) Satntes*
BY A. NEWMAN.
3t.—23cttiQ ge jLtfe of ye bleSsctt £atnte attaiuf, ttntf)
ye jMtrarles" rhat \)z toroucrhte, anti ne cruel iWarttirUflmc
nf the siamE.
Forword to the Readere.
As I have emprized to write ye lives of some amongst ye most
glorious of >e Saintes of this our Englelonde, meseemeth it goode,
in ye performinge of ye same, to use such Englyshe as learned and reve-
rende men were wonte to use, in times past, albeit I write whenne ye
good aunciente fashion of spellinge and writinge is so changed for new-
fanglednesse of moderne times, that menne may scarce reade ye true
olde Englisshe tongue. And I wolde faine have hadde ye same im-
printed in ye black lettere as of olde was used by William Caxton,
and Wynkyn de Worde, and otheres of ye olde time. Nay, rather
wolde I have chosen that ye saide lives sholde have ben written by ye
hande of sely scribes, and not printed, as was ye use in ye goode olde
times. But ye publisheres, Bradburie and Evannes, wolde not.
So, I praye you, fayre my readeres, that it mislike you not, that I
goe back in my writinge to ye auncient manere, for in all thinges I
holde it goode to goe backe, and not forewarde, as is the Dewfangled
and friskie waye of the present eville times.
tooto #t. aifianS, betntre yet fonge, boWii ffeclarea IjtS J3eltef
amonge ye ponge $agan£ bts companions'.
Ye Sainte being yet a childe, and playinge amonge other little chil-
dren, they wolde declaren of whatte manere of belief they were; one
sayinge " I am a Whigge," and another " I am a Torie," and another
"I am a Radicalle," as the names of their heathenishe sects then
were. Then St. Albans being asked of his beliefe, saide, " I am
neither Tone, nor Whigge, nor Radicalle; but I am of ye faithe of
Number One, that is greaterre than all these." Then they asked him
Where is this Number One, and under what image is he worshipped ?"
u jSt' Albans to°k from ms pouche medalles in golde, and
showed them the image of him he worshipped; and manie of them
were converted, and worshipped Number One, forsakeing the false gods
of ye Whigge, and Torie, and Radicalle faithe, that they had wor-
shipped till that time.
3tootu &>t Hbans" marbcITous'Tte toofc afoate ye ^Icmorte nf
^ gnmtirte.
Sundrie menne having promised their voices to a certaine fellowe
that was a candidate to serve in Parliament, ye Sainte, that woulde not
that fellowe should be chosen, sente for ye saide menne, and, whenne
they came, they saide, "We vote for such a fellowe." Thenne the
Sainte, being resolved to turn their heartes, tooke their hands into his
owne, and placeing therein certaine pieces of coine that had a virtue
imparted to them, for thatte they had touched the lininge of his
pockette, these menne straightwaye forgotte all they had promised, and
were obedient to ye wille of ye Sainte, and wente and gave their voices
to him ye Sainte wolde that they sholde give them to ; and so he didde
oftentimes.
Sfooto ye Jpatnte rau^etf one namelr SlTaggette ttttcrlic to
w irtsu-ippear from Before $t &tep^en.
Sainte Stephen once on a time wished to have speeche of one
Waggette, that was a trend to Sainte Albans, and Waggette
wolde not. Then the Sainte didde miraculously cause ye saide Wag-
gette suddenlie to disappeare, so that when those of St. Stephens
householde soughte him, lie mote not be anywhere founde ; so that
those of St. Stephens householde marvelled thereat. But when St.
Albans wolde, then caused he the saide Waggette to appeare as
suddenlie as he had made him to vanishe awaie.
And this miracle he wroughte also with manie that he wolde not
shoulde be founde of his enemies.
Jbofo ye ^atntc oftentimes" rattgeir fhe jgitrcctes" to flattie tottfj
3Bccre, ana miraculously oprncb ye tfoarrsi of ye publtcRe
Ijous'es'.
Ye Sainte, of his tender hearte, wolde sore pitie ye poorer sorte when
lie sawe them thirstie, and no coine to buy drinke withal. And olten
he wroughte upon je publicanes by his miraculous powere, so that they
drewe their spiggottes, and turned their tappes, and let the beere to
runne for all that had neede, and manie were dronken, and paide
nothinge. And also at the worde of the Sainte, ye doores of ye publicke
houses wolde fiie opene, that men entered therein without coine, and
eate and dranke of the beste, and paide none, yet the landlordes lost
noughte therebie; for ye Sainte, by his miraculous power, made coine
to come into their pouches, whiche whenne theyre wives found therein,
whanne they wente to bedde, they marvelled thereat, and knewe not
whence it came. And of manie such goode workes the Sainte ne
boasted nothinge.
3£)0ta ye giatnte bias" fnullte Ijetraycii by one (£&toflrrjej» and
w Coppocfte that nretcnlfelr to be %i$ jfrcncies'.
Now ye Sainte having passed a long life in goode workes such as I
have to'lde, it befelle that St. Stephen's householde, who had long
borne him an ill wille for his goode workes of charitie, caste aboute
to destroye him; and, finding two lewde knaves that ye Sainte
had oft-times used for his almoneres, (ycleped Edwardes and Cop-
pocke, of whom I spake already,) they suborned them, and on their
witnesse, condemned St. Albans to die, and he was ye firste martyre
of those that were slaine by the heretics, called Keformeres, from
whom, whether in Churche or State, may the Saintes deliver us.
©f ye last anil cfjtefe j&iraclc that j?atnte Albans" Eciroujrhte.
Being broughte to die, they chose one Russell to be his execu-
tionere, that had not before then been an enemie of the Sainte. And
the saide Russelle and Coppocke standing bye, were so moved by ye
blessed dethe of that martyre, that they were suddenlie converted
therebye to ye faithe in ye Ballotte, and straightwaye confessed the
same. And methinks of alle the greate miracles wroughte by this
Sainte, this is the greateste.