DOI issue:
July to December, 1851
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16608#0240
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 229
THE LAW OF DOMESTIC STORMS.
Y a long series of
observations it has
been found that
Domestic Storms,
like other storms,
are rotatory ; or,
in other words,
they move in a
circle, and come
round at regular
intervals. The
Domestic Storm,
as we have already
seen, rages fre-
quently very high
at about Christmas
time, when the
trade winds are
prevalent. There
is reason to believe
that these trade
winds, which come
in counter direc-
tions, are preceded
by much heavy
swelling, and by
the extreme lati-
tude into which
the master has
been driven by the
eccentric action of
his craft. This
was the case in the
instance of the
Eliza, which, after
being first set in
motion by gentle
airs, gave her head completely to the wind, and the mate lost all
control over her. An extract from his log—or diary—is full of
instruction for those to whom the Law of Domestic Storms is a matter
of interest.
Monday.—Light breeze, with a cloudy aspect.
Tuesday.—Her head beginning to turn All sorts of airs. Nothing
in view.
Wednesday.—Objects more clear. Difficulty in keeping her from
running on to bank. Stormy at night. Squalls, and appearance alto-
gether threatening.
Thursday.—Inclined to be more calm. Changed her tack. Received
a slight check. Towards night stormy again. Spoke Policeman, A 1,
but could render no assistance.
Friday.—Hurricane continued all day. Split her stays. Squally at
night. Carried away the sheet, and went over on her larboard side.
Saturday.—Violent gusts. Her head carried away, everything
dashed to pieces, and every attempt to "wear" the craft quite unsuc-
cessful. Tried to overhaul her; but she became so unmanageable, that
cutting away from her was the only chance of safety. Succeeded in
getting clean off, and left her to her fate, when she was seen at a
distance to be brought to of her own accord rather rapidly.
Domestic Storms do not always proceed from the highest points, but
frequently arise from the lowest; and some curious phenomena have
been remarked under-ground, where a sort of blowing-up begins, such
as may be sometimes noticed in Cook and other great authorities.
These storms are often preceded by the sudden carrying away of stores,
and by the accumulation of a sort of dripping in the hold, which when
called to the attention of the master, causes him to prepare for a
hurricane.
Some remarkable facts are mentioned by travellers as accompanying
storms, such as showers of fish falling on land having been cast up by
the violence of the sea; but in Domestic Storms nothing is more
common than a shower of cups and saucers, wine glasses, books, and
candlesticks. In a very violent Domestic Storm that happened in the
neighbourhood of one of the squares, the convulsions of nature, and of
ill-nature, were so fearful, that during the raging of the storm, which
took a pelting and pitiless shape, four looking-glasses were smashed to
pieces.
_ The agents by which storms are sometimes produced in the domestic
circles are sparks, which strike, with electrical influence, the heads of
some of the lighter craft, and render them very difficult to manage.
The law of magnetic attraction will affect the heads of craft of this
description, bringing them round and round, and exposing them to that
sort of whirl which is so notoriously dangerous. The best remedy in
these cases is a good conductor, or by meeting the sparks with an
opposing battery. Sometimes a tremendous swell will agitate the craft;
but in these cases it is better to let the swell pass by, merely keeping
the head of the craft in the right direction.
MEDICINE FOR THE MILLION.
There is a fashion in quackery, as in everything else ; and medicines
go out and come in just like hoops, long waists, hanging sleeves, or any
other article that caprice may one day patronise and the next day
repudiate.
Formerly pills carried everything before them, and people swallowed
their hundreds of No. 2, with a disregard to No. 1 that was really
astonishing. After pills had had their day, there was a slight move-
ment in favour of lozenges, until the public suddenly turned to oint-
ment, and stuck to it for a tolerably long period. The last new mania
is for Sarsaparilla, which is said " to destroy every kind of humour ;"
and as humour happens to be an article in which we take some interest,
we must set our face against any article that has the effect of
destroying it.
We should be glad if the Editor of Notes and Queries would answer
a little problem we will venture to propose to him. We would ask
him how it is that anybody dies at all, when there are several hundreds
of quack medicines, each of which is said to save annually so many
millions of lives, that by adding up even a portion of them, it would
seem that the lives of the whole huma* race are being saved every
year; and yet the number of deaths will go on at about the same rate
as? usual.
The advertising statistics will also show that the quantity of children
cured of juvenile maladies by one sort of stuff or the other, will exceed
the whole number brought into the world during the period specified.
We can only solve the difficulty by supposing that the same child is
cured over and over again, m order to warrant the estimate.
KOSSUTH FOR THE MILLION.
To the Genteel.
Swells, the higher walks that tread,
Sneer away—'tis underbred
To applaud the Man who led
The Mob of Hungary!
Now's your day, and now's your hour!
Threat'ning clouds no longer low'r;
Scornful—in your ease and power—
Of the People be.
Who will call Kossuth a knave ?
Who traduce the good and brave ?
Who will be that Russian slave,
But Gentility ?
Who for Haynau's martial law,
Fiction's bow will boldly draw,
Cat with woman-scratching claw
Here may live to see.
Smile at Exile's woes and pains !
Scoff at vanquish'd Honour's chains,—
Keep your cool and quiet veins
From excitement free.
Only hearts of orders low
E'er with sympathy can glow,—
No, Superior Classes, no !
Fiddle-ol-de-dee !
An Extreme Publican. ^
The following extract from the examination of Mr. Blanks, land-
lord of the White Hart Inn, at the St. Albans Bribery Commission, is
worth preserving:—
" Me. Fobsyth.—What are your principles ? "
" Witness.—To spend money in all legitimate expenses." (Laughter.)
" Mr. Forsyth.—You mean spending money with publicans, i suppose ? " (Laughter.)
" Witness.— Well, i don't know. We all look to our trade, of course."
Mr. Blanks means to say that, in his political views, he simply
regards the good of the public.
a simple question.
The question has been going the round of the papers, "What is a
Pound ? " Every donkey on a common, we should think, could tell that.
Vol. 21.
8
THE LAW OF DOMESTIC STORMS.
Y a long series of
observations it has
been found that
Domestic Storms,
like other storms,
are rotatory ; or,
in other words,
they move in a
circle, and come
round at regular
intervals. The
Domestic Storm,
as we have already
seen, rages fre-
quently very high
at about Christmas
time, when the
trade winds are
prevalent. There
is reason to believe
that these trade
winds, which come
in counter direc-
tions, are preceded
by much heavy
swelling, and by
the extreme lati-
tude into which
the master has
been driven by the
eccentric action of
his craft. This
was the case in the
instance of the
Eliza, which, after
being first set in
motion by gentle
airs, gave her head completely to the wind, and the mate lost all
control over her. An extract from his log—or diary—is full of
instruction for those to whom the Law of Domestic Storms is a matter
of interest.
Monday.—Light breeze, with a cloudy aspect.
Tuesday.—Her head beginning to turn All sorts of airs. Nothing
in view.
Wednesday.—Objects more clear. Difficulty in keeping her from
running on to bank. Stormy at night. Squalls, and appearance alto-
gether threatening.
Thursday.—Inclined to be more calm. Changed her tack. Received
a slight check. Towards night stormy again. Spoke Policeman, A 1,
but could render no assistance.
Friday.—Hurricane continued all day. Split her stays. Squally at
night. Carried away the sheet, and went over on her larboard side.
Saturday.—Violent gusts. Her head carried away, everything
dashed to pieces, and every attempt to "wear" the craft quite unsuc-
cessful. Tried to overhaul her; but she became so unmanageable, that
cutting away from her was the only chance of safety. Succeeded in
getting clean off, and left her to her fate, when she was seen at a
distance to be brought to of her own accord rather rapidly.
Domestic Storms do not always proceed from the highest points, but
frequently arise from the lowest; and some curious phenomena have
been remarked under-ground, where a sort of blowing-up begins, such
as may be sometimes noticed in Cook and other great authorities.
These storms are often preceded by the sudden carrying away of stores,
and by the accumulation of a sort of dripping in the hold, which when
called to the attention of the master, causes him to prepare for a
hurricane.
Some remarkable facts are mentioned by travellers as accompanying
storms, such as showers of fish falling on land having been cast up by
the violence of the sea; but in Domestic Storms nothing is more
common than a shower of cups and saucers, wine glasses, books, and
candlesticks. In a very violent Domestic Storm that happened in the
neighbourhood of one of the squares, the convulsions of nature, and of
ill-nature, were so fearful, that during the raging of the storm, which
took a pelting and pitiless shape, four looking-glasses were smashed to
pieces.
_ The agents by which storms are sometimes produced in the domestic
circles are sparks, which strike, with electrical influence, the heads of
some of the lighter craft, and render them very difficult to manage.
The law of magnetic attraction will affect the heads of craft of this
description, bringing them round and round, and exposing them to that
sort of whirl which is so notoriously dangerous. The best remedy in
these cases is a good conductor, or by meeting the sparks with an
opposing battery. Sometimes a tremendous swell will agitate the craft;
but in these cases it is better to let the swell pass by, merely keeping
the head of the craft in the right direction.
MEDICINE FOR THE MILLION.
There is a fashion in quackery, as in everything else ; and medicines
go out and come in just like hoops, long waists, hanging sleeves, or any
other article that caprice may one day patronise and the next day
repudiate.
Formerly pills carried everything before them, and people swallowed
their hundreds of No. 2, with a disregard to No. 1 that was really
astonishing. After pills had had their day, there was a slight move-
ment in favour of lozenges, until the public suddenly turned to oint-
ment, and stuck to it for a tolerably long period. The last new mania
is for Sarsaparilla, which is said " to destroy every kind of humour ;"
and as humour happens to be an article in which we take some interest,
we must set our face against any article that has the effect of
destroying it.
We should be glad if the Editor of Notes and Queries would answer
a little problem we will venture to propose to him. We would ask
him how it is that anybody dies at all, when there are several hundreds
of quack medicines, each of which is said to save annually so many
millions of lives, that by adding up even a portion of them, it would
seem that the lives of the whole huma* race are being saved every
year; and yet the number of deaths will go on at about the same rate
as? usual.
The advertising statistics will also show that the quantity of children
cured of juvenile maladies by one sort of stuff or the other, will exceed
the whole number brought into the world during the period specified.
We can only solve the difficulty by supposing that the same child is
cured over and over again, m order to warrant the estimate.
KOSSUTH FOR THE MILLION.
To the Genteel.
Swells, the higher walks that tread,
Sneer away—'tis underbred
To applaud the Man who led
The Mob of Hungary!
Now's your day, and now's your hour!
Threat'ning clouds no longer low'r;
Scornful—in your ease and power—
Of the People be.
Who will call Kossuth a knave ?
Who traduce the good and brave ?
Who will be that Russian slave,
But Gentility ?
Who for Haynau's martial law,
Fiction's bow will boldly draw,
Cat with woman-scratching claw
Here may live to see.
Smile at Exile's woes and pains !
Scoff at vanquish'd Honour's chains,—
Keep your cool and quiet veins
From excitement free.
Only hearts of orders low
E'er with sympathy can glow,—
No, Superior Classes, no !
Fiddle-ol-de-dee !
An Extreme Publican. ^
The following extract from the examination of Mr. Blanks, land-
lord of the White Hart Inn, at the St. Albans Bribery Commission, is
worth preserving:—
" Me. Fobsyth.—What are your principles ? "
" Witness.—To spend money in all legitimate expenses." (Laughter.)
" Mr. Forsyth.—You mean spending money with publicans, i suppose ? " (Laughter.)
" Witness.— Well, i don't know. We all look to our trade, of course."
Mr. Blanks means to say that, in his political views, he simply
regards the good of the public.
a simple question.
The question has been going the round of the papers, "What is a
Pound ? " Every donkey on a common, we should think, could tell that.
Vol. 21.
8