DOI Heft:
January to June, 1852
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16609#0077
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHAR TV API
69
SPEAK, MR. COBDEN! THE FIRST. COMMITTEE OF SUPPLY.
ON THE CHANCE OF PEACE OR WAR. \ ne of the first debates of the
„ ^ „ I 55^S!^\ Session — as reported —
Am-" Kathleen Mavov.me.en. I j£ A bas been & discussioQ Qn
Cobden, oh Cobden ! they talk of invasion r> 'RWjCX culinary economy — the
By Louis Napoleon, that fierce Bonaparte : mfw iHiW\ affairs of the Kitchen and
They bid us prepare. Is there any occasion ? MM Refreshment - rooms — in
Say, Richard Cobden, Peace Man as thou art! wKPL/^^ ^t^^^^^^^X\ short, provisional arrange-
Speak, Mb. Cobden ! W-^l'^^ 'h^^^^^^1 \ ments- We are &lad to
~ , ' , , , . ■ W?^^^^^^^^^!^JlSi^7\ ay^^sJ observe — however ill it
Cobden, oh Cobden ! new rifles we re making, ll'llw/rSi^^l^ maY augur for Protec-
At nearly a mile which are able to kill; ^f/^C-^-^^^P^^-^^™^^»tj< tionistprospects_that the
Whilst thus the old British Lion is waking, > ^-^^fepf^r"^^z=H|li! Mil House is resolved to per-
Cobden, my Kichabd, thou rt slumbermg still. f|§[| '^/j|ISs§i§i ™ sist in the oolicy of cheap
Speak, Mb. Cobden ! food. Mb. French, in
Say, dost thou fear that our coast is in danger ,. . , „. , , .. . , reference to the present
parliamentary 'victualling establishment, objected to sherry at bs. a
bottle ; and so do we, at least when we have to pay for it ourselves;
and the wine is, like that deprecated by the honourable Member
for Roscommon, not worth half that sum. Mb. Chisholm Anstet
enlivened the debate by proposing that a Roman Catholic should be
placed on the Committee appointed to direct the comestible business
of the House — naming Sergeant Mubphy: who would be a safe
man, and is not, by alt accounts, however orthodox, the sort of
Roman Catholic who would want roast bishop as well as roast beef.
Lord M. Hill also amused the House with a recitation of the bill
of existing charges, which he argued were reasonable; saying, that a
portion of soup was chargt-d Is., mutton broth and a chop likewise Is.;
a statement which occasioned "laughter," as if Hon. Gentlemen
thought such prices were ridiculously small. If the " portion of soup "
of the parliamentary carte is equivalent to the one ox, or one mock, of
the ordinary restaurant, one shilling, even with a penny extra for the
waiter, can hardly be considered an exorbitant cost, supposing the ox
to be the honest tail, and the mock a decent imitation. The supply of
fish, according to the noble Lord, was quite as cheap, as he proved by
going into particulars ; but though he gave the figure of soles, whiting,
mackerel, turbot, codfish, and salmon, he omitted to say how much was
asked for a plaice.
That nearly the first discussion in the House of Commons should
have related to eating and drinking, promises well. It looks sensible.
At any rate, we may hope to have no quarrelling between " the Belly
and the Members."
Of being surprised by a sudden descent ?
Should we prepare for receiving the stranger,
Or rest with existing provisions content ?
Speak, Mr. Cobden !
Conical bullets our foemen to riddle
Deemst thou 'tis needful or prudent to cast ?
Regard'st thou the public alarm as all fiddle,
Or thinkst thou the wolf will indeed come at last ?
Speak, Mr. Cobden !
Ought we to add to our naval defences ?
Wouldst thou advise an increase of our troops
Or, if we go and incur those expenses,
Shouldst thou consider us mere nincompoops ?
Speak, Mr. Cobden !
Armaments useless our money to spend on,
Certainly we should be acting like geese;
But have we any sure ground to depend on,
In trusting our neighbours will leave us at peace ?
Speak, Mr. Cobden !
As to war's glory, we 're nowise more partial
To that sort of nonsense than thou and friend Bbight,
Yet, though our humour is not the least martial,
Were we pitched into—just wouldn't we fight?
Speak, Mr. Cobden !
Given as we know ruling powers are to suction,
Glad they may be to encourage a cry
Of danger, to urge against farther reduction,
If not for demanding an increased supply.
Speak, Mb. Cobden !
Cobden, assist us! we seek information,
We must take due care to defend Britain's shore :
We 're scarcely less anxious to bring down taxation
And keep the Collector away from the door.
Speak, Mr. Cobden !
Cobden ! on one hand the Income Tax presses,
The chances of war on the other affright:
We can't tell which evil the greater or less is;
Couldst thou enlighten us—haply we might.
Speak, Mb. Cobden !
A Cabinet Picture.
We always looked upon Lobd Palmerston as a great politician;
but we learned for the first time, on the opening night of the Session,
that he is also a great artist. We glean this fact from his announce-
ment to the House, that he would not 1 rouble it with the letter he
wrote to Lord John Russell, "nor with the illustration the letter
contained." We can only imagine that, as the tone of the letter was
rather severe, the " illustration " must have been satirical; and that
Lord Palmerston sent the Premier a "large cut," as well as a
tremendous dig.
a very mild complaint.
The Earl of Derby complained of the disorderly arrangement of
topics in the Queen's Speech. If the noble Earl's party had succeeded
in their struggle to perpetuate the starvation laws, the disorder might
have been, not in the Speech, but in the country.
A Morbid Appetite.—May it not be maintained that a vegetarian
•who eats gooseberry fool is a cannibal ?
A FAIR TAX ON KNOWLEDGE.
They manage some things better in Prussia, as well as in France,
than they do here. The Prussian Government has imposed on political
periodicals a stamp-duty of half a pfenning for every 100 square inches
of superficial contents.
It is not for us to boast. We are not going to brag of our superiority
to other journals. But if English political periodicals were charged
with stamp-duty according to their superficial contents, we can only say
that we do not know which would have the better reason to be satisfied,
the Government or Punch.
A Startling Free Trade Question.
The Morning Herald asks—
" Shall we hand over our noble West Indian colonies to the rattlesnake and the
naked negro ? "
We think not. We are convinced that England will commit no such
act of injustice. Or if the rattlesnake and the naked negro are, hence-
forth, to be the sole proprietors of the soil, confident we are, that
England will make due compensation to the scorpions and mosquitoes.
a dby pact.
The Protectionists complain very bitterly of the drain upon the land.
But practical agriculturists are always telling us, that a thorough
draining is what the land most requires.
Theatrical Intelligence.
We understand that two new pieces at the Lyceum Theatre have
just been suppressed by our ever-vigilant censor, in consequence of
their sarcastic titular allusion to the position and prospects of the
Prince President of France. The pieces in question are called The
Prince of Happy Land and The Game of Speculation.
cavalry reform.
How can a horse which costs so very little as that of a British
Dragoon's be, with any sort of propriety, called a cJtarger ?
69
SPEAK, MR. COBDEN! THE FIRST. COMMITTEE OF SUPPLY.
ON THE CHANCE OF PEACE OR WAR. \ ne of the first debates of the
„ ^ „ I 55^S!^\ Session — as reported —
Am-" Kathleen Mavov.me.en. I j£ A bas been & discussioQ Qn
Cobden, oh Cobden ! they talk of invasion r> 'RWjCX culinary economy — the
By Louis Napoleon, that fierce Bonaparte : mfw iHiW\ affairs of the Kitchen and
They bid us prepare. Is there any occasion ? MM Refreshment - rooms — in
Say, Richard Cobden, Peace Man as thou art! wKPL/^^ ^t^^^^^^^X\ short, provisional arrange-
Speak, Mb. Cobden ! W-^l'^^ 'h^^^^^^1 \ ments- We are &lad to
~ , ' , , , . ■ W?^^^^^^^^^!^JlSi^7\ ay^^sJ observe — however ill it
Cobden, oh Cobden ! new rifles we re making, ll'llw/rSi^^l^ maY augur for Protec-
At nearly a mile which are able to kill; ^f/^C-^-^^^P^^-^^™^^»tj< tionistprospects_that the
Whilst thus the old British Lion is waking, > ^-^^fepf^r"^^z=H|li! Mil House is resolved to per-
Cobden, my Kichabd, thou rt slumbermg still. f|§[| '^/j|ISs§i§i ™ sist in the oolicy of cheap
Speak, Mb. Cobden ! food. Mb. French, in
Say, dost thou fear that our coast is in danger ,. . , „. , , .. . , reference to the present
parliamentary 'victualling establishment, objected to sherry at bs. a
bottle ; and so do we, at least when we have to pay for it ourselves;
and the wine is, like that deprecated by the honourable Member
for Roscommon, not worth half that sum. Mb. Chisholm Anstet
enlivened the debate by proposing that a Roman Catholic should be
placed on the Committee appointed to direct the comestible business
of the House — naming Sergeant Mubphy: who would be a safe
man, and is not, by alt accounts, however orthodox, the sort of
Roman Catholic who would want roast bishop as well as roast beef.
Lord M. Hill also amused the House with a recitation of the bill
of existing charges, which he argued were reasonable; saying, that a
portion of soup was chargt-d Is., mutton broth and a chop likewise Is.;
a statement which occasioned "laughter," as if Hon. Gentlemen
thought such prices were ridiculously small. If the " portion of soup "
of the parliamentary carte is equivalent to the one ox, or one mock, of
the ordinary restaurant, one shilling, even with a penny extra for the
waiter, can hardly be considered an exorbitant cost, supposing the ox
to be the honest tail, and the mock a decent imitation. The supply of
fish, according to the noble Lord, was quite as cheap, as he proved by
going into particulars ; but though he gave the figure of soles, whiting,
mackerel, turbot, codfish, and salmon, he omitted to say how much was
asked for a plaice.
That nearly the first discussion in the House of Commons should
have related to eating and drinking, promises well. It looks sensible.
At any rate, we may hope to have no quarrelling between " the Belly
and the Members."
Of being surprised by a sudden descent ?
Should we prepare for receiving the stranger,
Or rest with existing provisions content ?
Speak, Mr. Cobden !
Conical bullets our foemen to riddle
Deemst thou 'tis needful or prudent to cast ?
Regard'st thou the public alarm as all fiddle,
Or thinkst thou the wolf will indeed come at last ?
Speak, Mr. Cobden !
Ought we to add to our naval defences ?
Wouldst thou advise an increase of our troops
Or, if we go and incur those expenses,
Shouldst thou consider us mere nincompoops ?
Speak, Mr. Cobden !
Armaments useless our money to spend on,
Certainly we should be acting like geese;
But have we any sure ground to depend on,
In trusting our neighbours will leave us at peace ?
Speak, Mr. Cobden !
As to war's glory, we 're nowise more partial
To that sort of nonsense than thou and friend Bbight,
Yet, though our humour is not the least martial,
Were we pitched into—just wouldn't we fight?
Speak, Mr. Cobden !
Given as we know ruling powers are to suction,
Glad they may be to encourage a cry
Of danger, to urge against farther reduction,
If not for demanding an increased supply.
Speak, Mb. Cobden !
Cobden, assist us! we seek information,
We must take due care to defend Britain's shore :
We 're scarcely less anxious to bring down taxation
And keep the Collector away from the door.
Speak, Mr. Cobden !
Cobden ! on one hand the Income Tax presses,
The chances of war on the other affright:
We can't tell which evil the greater or less is;
Couldst thou enlighten us—haply we might.
Speak, Mb. Cobden !
A Cabinet Picture.
We always looked upon Lobd Palmerston as a great politician;
but we learned for the first time, on the opening night of the Session,
that he is also a great artist. We glean this fact from his announce-
ment to the House, that he would not 1 rouble it with the letter he
wrote to Lord John Russell, "nor with the illustration the letter
contained." We can only imagine that, as the tone of the letter was
rather severe, the " illustration " must have been satirical; and that
Lord Palmerston sent the Premier a "large cut," as well as a
tremendous dig.
a very mild complaint.
The Earl of Derby complained of the disorderly arrangement of
topics in the Queen's Speech. If the noble Earl's party had succeeded
in their struggle to perpetuate the starvation laws, the disorder might
have been, not in the Speech, but in the country.
A Morbid Appetite.—May it not be maintained that a vegetarian
•who eats gooseberry fool is a cannibal ?
A FAIR TAX ON KNOWLEDGE.
They manage some things better in Prussia, as well as in France,
than they do here. The Prussian Government has imposed on political
periodicals a stamp-duty of half a pfenning for every 100 square inches
of superficial contents.
It is not for us to boast. We are not going to brag of our superiority
to other journals. But if English political periodicals were charged
with stamp-duty according to their superficial contents, we can only say
that we do not know which would have the better reason to be satisfied,
the Government or Punch.
A Startling Free Trade Question.
The Morning Herald asks—
" Shall we hand over our noble West Indian colonies to the rattlesnake and the
naked negro ? "
We think not. We are convinced that England will commit no such
act of injustice. Or if the rattlesnake and the naked negro are, hence-
forth, to be the sole proprietors of the soil, confident we are, that
England will make due compensation to the scorpions and mosquitoes.
a dby pact.
The Protectionists complain very bitterly of the drain upon the land.
But practical agriculturists are always telling us, that a thorough
draining is what the land most requires.
Theatrical Intelligence.
We understand that two new pieces at the Lyceum Theatre have
just been suppressed by our ever-vigilant censor, in consequence of
their sarcastic titular allusion to the position and prospects of the
Prince President of France. The pieces in question are called The
Prince of Happy Land and The Game of Speculation.
cavalry reform.
How can a horse which costs so very little as that of a British
Dragoon's be, with any sort of propriety, called a cJtarger ?