Punch (22.1852)

8S

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI

A SLIDE ON THE PAVEMENT.—UPSET OF A "STATESMAN!"

PENALTIES.

SHE Penalty of buying
cheap clothes, is the
same as that of going
to Law, the certainty
of losing your suit,
and having to pay for
it.

The Penalty of mar-
rying, is a Mother-in-
law.

The Penalty of re-
maining single, is
having no one who
" cares a button" for
you, as is abundantly
proved by the state
of your shirts.

The Penalty of thin
shoes, is a cold.
The Penalty of a pretty cook, is an empty larder.
The Penalty of stopping in Paris, is being shot.
The Penalty of tight boots, is corns.

The Penalty of having a haunch of venison sent to you, is inviting a
dozen friends to come and eat it.

The Penalty of popularity, is envy.

The Penalty of a baby, is sleepless nights. ->

The Penalty of interfering between man and wife, is abuse, frequently
accompanied with blows, from both.

The Penalty of a Godfather, is a silver knife, fork, and spoon.

Ihe Penalty of kissing a baby, is half-a-crown (five shillings, if you
are liberal) to the nurse. .. .

The Penalty of a public dinner, is bad wine.

The Penalty of a legacy, or a fortune, is the sudden discovery of a
host ot poor relations you never dreamt of, and of a number of debts
you had quite forgotten.

, Tn<i Penalty of lending, is—with a book or an umbrella, the certain
loss ot it; with your name to a bill, the sure payment of it; and with a
norse, the lamest chance of ever seeing it back again sound.

THE ENFRANCHISEMENT OF PLUSH.

A numerous, if not important, meeting of the Livery, including
most of the footmen in situations under the Government and Legis-
lature, assembled last night at the Coach and Horses, to discuss the
provisions of the Reform Bill now before their masters. The £5 clause
was unanimously condemned as low; but some doubt was expressed
whether that allowing a vote to payers of 40s. in the way of direct
taxation, would not fix the qualification so high as to exclude many
of the perfectly free and decidedly independent gentlemen present,
whose salaries might not be quite liable to income-tax. My Lord
Duke said he believed that payment of assessed taxes to that amount
would qualify : did anybody know what assessed taxes was ? This
question having been settled by reference to an almanack, it was agreed,
on the motion of Sir Harry, to appoint a deputation to wait on the
Premier, and solicit him to reduce the 40s. franchise to the figure of
the powder-tax, which, by an easy arrangement with regard to salary,
might be charged on the individual wearer; thus conferring a voice in
the representation on any gentleman connected with a respectable
family. The Earl suggested that if Ministers would not consent to so
very large a reduction, perhaps they might be prevailed upon to come
down to the united amount of the powder-tax and the duty on armorial
bearings: and then any gentleman of the service could participate in
the privileges of a Briton, by wearing a ring or a watch, and having his
own crest engraved on the seals.

Fellows to Haynau.

J. W., in a letter to the Times, states that in the prison at Nether
Knutsford, Cheshire, there is a pretty, intelligent-looking little boy,
only seven years old, committed by sentence of some magistrate or
magistrates, for stealing a mug, with a sentence of solitary confinement
under the Pentonville system for three months, and. at the expiration of
that term to be well'flogged. \ ■ _

If the magistrate or magistrates alluded to will forward their names
to Punch, Mr. Punch will use all his influence to procure them an order
to see the brewery of Messrs. Barclay and Perkins.

A Bit of Stiff.—The Soldier's Stock is the worst of investments.