DOI issue:
January to June, 1852
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16609#0119
PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
ill
THE WELLINGTON STATUE AND THE NEW SONG OF THE HEAET,
QUAE TERN LOAE.
fob, young ladies.
Somebody has published a new ballad, called " Wilt Thou Linger
Near Me?" Somebody else has produced another, under the title of
" Hither Come!' In drawing-room vocal music there is a general ten-
dency to glorify the feeling of sympathy. Something too much of this.
A wholesome antipathy—even sentimentally considered—is a laudable
affection in its way: a salutary corrective of the softer emotions: a fine
prophylactic for young ladies against foreign counts, and other adven-
turers. "Rise," then, " honest Muse, and sing "—just for a change—
somewhat in the antipathetic vein. Instead of "Hither Come" let the
canticle be, for example—
bom mischance, a
contemplative phi-
losophy extracts
wisdom, even as
chemistry obtains
medicine from poi-
sons. Thus con-
sidered, sweet and
comforting are the
uses of that ugly
lump of bronze,
foZdr^^theVel-1 Wilt thou be off ? 1 know thou comest
lino-ton Statue on Because thou thinkest Papa hath cash;
the Rutland Arch ^n diking sweet thou only hummest:
Thy pretty speeches are simply trash.
Falla la, lal la! Fiddle de dee !
Falla, &c.
WILT THOU BE OFF P
— outraging the
nations. Simple,
guileless, blunder-
headed Bull — after much ges-
ticulation, much vehement stamp-
double-soled top-boots,
—was won into sullen consent that
the thing should have a proba-
tionary trial.
" My good fellow, why all this
indignation ? Only suffer us to put
51 p the statue, and if it is proved to be an eyesore,—why, my dear, good
crea! ure, can't we take it down again ? "
" Well, but," says Bull, " will you take it down again ? "
" Will we take it down again ? My dear fellow, what a question !
Will we take it down again ? What a question !—Of course we '11 take
it down again."
" Well, then, I—but it's only for a trial, you know ?"—
"Oh, only a trial—Honour! "
Up goes the statue ; and Bull, chuckling, cries—" There, I knew it
—I said so. Can anything be more ugly? No more life in the metal
than in a coffin-plate. I told you so. But you've had your trial, and now
—when—I say when are you going to take the statue down again ? "
" Take the statue down, Mb. Bull ?"
"Yes, take it down? You know you said you would—the trial
was all upon honour, you know. And I ask you once and for all, when
are you going to take the monster down again ? "
" Mb. Bull, does it not strike you, that to remove the statue of the
Noble Duke and his generous war-horse, would be nothing more than
an insult—a ceremonious insult—to the exalted inhabitant of Apsley
House ? Can you, Mb. Bull, pretend to enter into the feelings of
disgust, indignation, and amazement of that illustrious man, when,
about to shave himself at daybreak, he looks forth from his dressing-
room window, and first sees the effigy—his metallic other self abased,
removed, or as you coarsely word it,—taken down?"
"Well, but you know you said-"
" Don't talk nonsense, Mb. Bull ! My good man, your brain must
be softening. I ask you—ha! ha!—could Napoleon himself take the
Duke down ? Shall we, then ? "
" Fiddlestick! Navoleon's nothing to do with the question. You
said the thing should come down if--"
" Come down ! The Duke come down ! Badajoz—Vittoria—Sala-
manca—Torres Yedras—Waterloo, and—and the Duke come down ! "
" Then you will not remove ? "-
" Yes, we will: we '11 remove the scaffolding to-morrow. But, as
for the statue, we've got it up, and—you '11 pardon the joke, Mb. Bull
—and up it remains."
And so, people of England, is it with the Debby Ministry. We are
told not to press the question of Free Trade upon them: we are
advised just to let them have a trial. People of England, we say no.
At once bring the question to issue. Be instructed by that uplifted
Ugliness at Hyde Park Corner—that deformity that experience may
still convert into a Mentor—and admit of no delay. As with the
bronze, so will it be with the bread. Let the Debby Ministry once
get up the quartern loaf, and, like the Hyde Park metal—up it will
remain.
Tease me no more! I tell thee plainly,
That I see through thee—yes, through and through •,
Come, nonsense! thou dost wheedle vainly;
thundering denunciation of j It will not do. n0j it win not do !
projected site for the Ugliness j<alla ia> ^ ja i j^dle de dee! &c.
Money Market and City Nonsense.
Monied men say, that considering the present state of affairs in
I ranee, it is a comfort to them to see that the French funds exert a
favourable influence on our Three Per Cents; but surely this is a
deceitful consol—ation.
There, go along—'tis no use looking
So sentimental as that at me;
Get thee away ! elsewhere of hooking
A softer maid there a chance may be.
Falla la, lal la! Fiddle de dee! &c.
AN EDITOR AT A DISCOUNT.
The Protectionists advertised the other day for an Editor for a
Protectionist Paper, who was to receive, by way of " salary, to begin
with, fifty pounds per annum." It is all very well to offer fifty pounds
a-year to " begin with;" but it is obvious, that to " go on" with such
a salary would be quite impossible. As his duties would call upon him
to write in favour of dear Corn, he would be actually working to take
the bread out of his own mouth; for if he succeeded in writing up the
quartern loaf to its former price, he would be obliged to accept half a
loaf instead of a whole one. We do not question the sufficiency of the
salary, as times go ; for the intellect that would undertake to advocate
Protectionist principles, would, perhaps, be adequately valued at one
pound per week, or fifty pounds per annum. No one with sufficient
sense to qualify him for a railway portership, or a light suburban
beadledom, would condescend to the situation of a Protectionist Editor;
and we think it, therefore, unfair of any one to complain of the salary
being inadequate to the article required.
MANCHESTER AND THE MINISTRY.
The Lobd Chancellob sits upon a woolsack. The Manchester
League, improving upon this historical fact, has- sent a seat to the
Eabl of Debby, to he used by the Premier at Cabinet Councils.
The seat is of a peculiar significance of material, illustrative of the
probable short, yet timely, fate of the Debby Ministry. We give a
v ery reduced cut of the present.
A Joke Craftily Qualified.
The danger of abolishing the property qualification for Members of
Parliament is this,—that if some of our legislators were to be without
their property qualification, they would have no other qualification
whatever.
ill
THE WELLINGTON STATUE AND THE NEW SONG OF THE HEAET,
QUAE TERN LOAE.
fob, young ladies.
Somebody has published a new ballad, called " Wilt Thou Linger
Near Me?" Somebody else has produced another, under the title of
" Hither Come!' In drawing-room vocal music there is a general ten-
dency to glorify the feeling of sympathy. Something too much of this.
A wholesome antipathy—even sentimentally considered—is a laudable
affection in its way: a salutary corrective of the softer emotions: a fine
prophylactic for young ladies against foreign counts, and other adven-
turers. "Rise," then, " honest Muse, and sing "—just for a change—
somewhat in the antipathetic vein. Instead of "Hither Come" let the
canticle be, for example—
bom mischance, a
contemplative phi-
losophy extracts
wisdom, even as
chemistry obtains
medicine from poi-
sons. Thus con-
sidered, sweet and
comforting are the
uses of that ugly
lump of bronze,
foZdr^^theVel-1 Wilt thou be off ? 1 know thou comest
lino-ton Statue on Because thou thinkest Papa hath cash;
the Rutland Arch ^n diking sweet thou only hummest:
Thy pretty speeches are simply trash.
Falla la, lal la! Fiddle de dee !
Falla, &c.
WILT THOU BE OFF P
— outraging the
nations. Simple,
guileless, blunder-
headed Bull — after much ges-
ticulation, much vehement stamp-
double-soled top-boots,
—was won into sullen consent that
the thing should have a proba-
tionary trial.
" My good fellow, why all this
indignation ? Only suffer us to put
51 p the statue, and if it is proved to be an eyesore,—why, my dear, good
crea! ure, can't we take it down again ? "
" Well, but," says Bull, " will you take it down again ? "
" Will we take it down again ? My dear fellow, what a question !
Will we take it down again ? What a question !—Of course we '11 take
it down again."
" Well, then, I—but it's only for a trial, you know ?"—
"Oh, only a trial—Honour! "
Up goes the statue ; and Bull, chuckling, cries—" There, I knew it
—I said so. Can anything be more ugly? No more life in the metal
than in a coffin-plate. I told you so. But you've had your trial, and now
—when—I say when are you going to take the statue down again ? "
" Take the statue down, Mb. Bull ?"
"Yes, take it down? You know you said you would—the trial
was all upon honour, you know. And I ask you once and for all, when
are you going to take the monster down again ? "
" Mb. Bull, does it not strike you, that to remove the statue of the
Noble Duke and his generous war-horse, would be nothing more than
an insult—a ceremonious insult—to the exalted inhabitant of Apsley
House ? Can you, Mb. Bull, pretend to enter into the feelings of
disgust, indignation, and amazement of that illustrious man, when,
about to shave himself at daybreak, he looks forth from his dressing-
room window, and first sees the effigy—his metallic other self abased,
removed, or as you coarsely word it,—taken down?"
"Well, but you know you said-"
" Don't talk nonsense, Mb. Bull ! My good man, your brain must
be softening. I ask you—ha! ha!—could Napoleon himself take the
Duke down ? Shall we, then ? "
" Fiddlestick! Navoleon's nothing to do with the question. You
said the thing should come down if--"
" Come down ! The Duke come down ! Badajoz—Vittoria—Sala-
manca—Torres Yedras—Waterloo, and—and the Duke come down ! "
" Then you will not remove ? "-
" Yes, we will: we '11 remove the scaffolding to-morrow. But, as
for the statue, we've got it up, and—you '11 pardon the joke, Mb. Bull
—and up it remains."
And so, people of England, is it with the Debby Ministry. We are
told not to press the question of Free Trade upon them: we are
advised just to let them have a trial. People of England, we say no.
At once bring the question to issue. Be instructed by that uplifted
Ugliness at Hyde Park Corner—that deformity that experience may
still convert into a Mentor—and admit of no delay. As with the
bronze, so will it be with the bread. Let the Debby Ministry once
get up the quartern loaf, and, like the Hyde Park metal—up it will
remain.
Tease me no more! I tell thee plainly,
That I see through thee—yes, through and through •,
Come, nonsense! thou dost wheedle vainly;
thundering denunciation of j It will not do. n0j it win not do !
projected site for the Ugliness j<alla ia> ^ ja i j^dle de dee! &c.
Money Market and City Nonsense.
Monied men say, that considering the present state of affairs in
I ranee, it is a comfort to them to see that the French funds exert a
favourable influence on our Three Per Cents; but surely this is a
deceitful consol—ation.
There, go along—'tis no use looking
So sentimental as that at me;
Get thee away ! elsewhere of hooking
A softer maid there a chance may be.
Falla la, lal la! Fiddle de dee! &c.
AN EDITOR AT A DISCOUNT.
The Protectionists advertised the other day for an Editor for a
Protectionist Paper, who was to receive, by way of " salary, to begin
with, fifty pounds per annum." It is all very well to offer fifty pounds
a-year to " begin with;" but it is obvious, that to " go on" with such
a salary would be quite impossible. As his duties would call upon him
to write in favour of dear Corn, he would be actually working to take
the bread out of his own mouth; for if he succeeded in writing up the
quartern loaf to its former price, he would be obliged to accept half a
loaf instead of a whole one. We do not question the sufficiency of the
salary, as times go ; for the intellect that would undertake to advocate
Protectionist principles, would, perhaps, be adequately valued at one
pound per week, or fifty pounds per annum. No one with sufficient
sense to qualify him for a railway portership, or a light suburban
beadledom, would condescend to the situation of a Protectionist Editor;
and we think it, therefore, unfair of any one to complain of the salary
being inadequate to the article required.
MANCHESTER AND THE MINISTRY.
The Lobd Chancellob sits upon a woolsack. The Manchester
League, improving upon this historical fact, has- sent a seat to the
Eabl of Debby, to he used by the Premier at Cabinet Councils.
The seat is of a peculiar significance of material, illustrative of the
probable short, yet timely, fate of the Debby Ministry. We give a
v ery reduced cut of the present.
A Joke Craftily Qualified.
The danger of abolishing the property qualification for Members of
Parliament is this,—that if some of our legislators were to be without
their property qualification, they would have no other qualification
whatever.