Punch: Punch (22.1852)

PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI

l2?

tir country is as proud of
Colonel Sibthorp as the
Egyptians are proud of their
Great Pyramid ; and for the
like reasons—his grandeur
and his unchangeableness.
The Colonel has addressed
the green men of Lincoln,
that is the men of Lincoln green, as a future
candidate:—

i may be permitted to feel some honest pride in

I Thomson. Well, Ma'am, it ain't possible to say what he's been
THE SIBTHORPS OF ENGLAND. | a-doing; but what is the use of me introducing my pots of desirable

flowerin' plants for the early blooms, if that there dog is to 'ave the
run of the 'othouse ? There's two more pots of 'ypericum knocked
over this morning, Ma'am, and three roots of Ornithog'lum missing,
which I believe he's ate 'em, Ma'am; and a Eritellary, which I made
sure of a prize, all gnawed to pieces ; and he 's scratched up all the
Browallias, and the Clarkia pulchillies; and I don't expect as you '11
see any Gladiolusses this year, Ma'am. And there's my perennial seeds
all mixed, as I'd sorted only yesterday; and he's knocked all the
glasses off the Persicarias ; and sowin' things in general is no manner
of use, Ma'am—and it's treatment I've not been used to, Ma'am;
so, if you please, I want to go—
Mrs. Bulberry. Now, really, Thomson, I beg you '11 not think of any

adverting to a'former representation of your'ancient I tiling of the kind. I '11 speak to MRS. BaKER, and insist On her Sending
city by one of that family as far back as the year 1714, j [jQ^e that do0,_

*££ZF5^£Z£ii£w at different I Tkai^m. Well Ma'am, if he was once off the premises-but you'll

allow it's an 'ard case for a man that feels ior his plants.
The Sibthorps never change ; or, at most,! Mrs- Bulberry. Certainly, Thomson, certainly. I shall insist on his

are the very last to yield to the spirit of TT , T, „ -,

progress. Thomson. Very well, Ma am, then l m satisfied.

, , .. , .. • j -n •< I [Thomson retires, much relieved.

It is now known, that the ancient Briton

who was the last to eschew paint and go into : Entgr EvANS the Nursemaid, followed by Jane, the Housemaid, and
a modern suit 01 rabbit-skins, was a dibthorp. Swann the Cook

Evans. If you please, Ma'am, could we say a word to you, Ma'am ?
Mrs. Bulberry. Certainly, Evans.

Evans. Well, then, Ma'am, about that dog, Ma'am. I'm sure,
Ma'am, I never grudges any trouble for the children, Ma'am; but with
that dog always a-comin' into the nursery, and pawin' and gnawin' and
barkin' about, I've no comfort of my life, a-thinkin' if they was bit, to
that, degree i've lost my rest—and the children encourages him, Ma'am.

Jane {the Housemaid). Yes, Ma'am—and where is the use of my
puttin' on clean sheets, if that dog is to go touzling and tossin' on all
the beds, and carryin' bones under the sofas, and a greasin' the carpets ?

Swann {the Cook). Yes, Ma'am, and wittles isn't safe from him; only
yesterday as ever was, if he didn't come right into my kitchen, and pull
a sole as I'd just egged and crumbed clean off the dish on to the floor,
and it 's what I've not been used to ; and if you please, Ma'am, my
mind's made up, and I won't a-bear it any longer.

Jane {the Housemaid). No, Ma'am, no more won't Evans and me,
Ma'am.

Evans. Certingly not, Ma'am.

Mrs. Bulberry. Good gracious ! we shan't be able to keep a servant
in the house ; but the dog's going to-day—that I'm determined upon,
and 1 '11 tell Mrs. Baker so, this minute.

Evans. Oh! if that nasty beast's a-going, Ma'am—
Swann. And a blessed riddance he will be !
Mrs. Bulberry. Yes ; you may be perfectly easy about that.
Evans. Oh ! very well, Ma'am ; and I 'ope it, 's the last dog we shall
ever see in this house—

[Evans, the Housemaid, and Cook, retire, much relieved.
Mrs. Bulberry. I declare it, 's not to be borne any longer. Do go
up-stairs, Jane, and beg Mrs. Baker to step here.
Jane. Here she comes, Mamma—

" EXTRAORDINARY CONDUCT OF A JUDGE."

Such is the title—given by the newspapers—to the very summary
conduct of Mr. Justice Maule in the Crown Court, of Lincoln. The
Court was villanously ventilated—the Judge felt himself in an air-
pump. He ordered all the windows to be "immediately opened."
This could not be done; it required two or three minutes for a man to
reach the top of the building wherefrom the windows could be opened.
" Break the windows !" cried the Judge, impatient of suffocation ;
" smash every glass ! " and the windows were summarily broken, and
the panes instantly smashed, the pieces falling into the Court, " on the
heads of the people below."

This is called very "extraordinary conduct of a Judge;" and yet to the
mind of Punch it bears an instructive moral. Only think, if a Maule,
years ago, had sat upon the Woolsack ; imagine him in that air-pump—
the Court of _ Chancery. See him gasping, suffocating, pent-up by
delaying, shifting forms, and-hear him cry (and exult when hearing him
shout)—" Smash all the windows !—break all the panes ! that the pure
breath of heaven may pass current here, sweetening this black-hole of
foulness and abomination."

MRS. BAKER'S PET.

the pet, after exciting a revolt in the bulberry household,
signalises his last day at " the myrtles" by a general
massacre, thanks to which poor mrs. baker leaves her
friends under the weight of universal execration.

Scene 10.—The Breakfast Room at "The Myrtles," the Bulberry

Family in conclave.

Mrs. Bulberry. Well, my dears, you may say what you like; but in a
woman of Mrs. Baker's age it's ridiculous. The nuisance that dog
is to everybody! I'm sure we've had no peace in the house since he's
3een here.

Miss Tapps. I hope, my dears, it will be a warning to you on the
subject of Pets.

Enter Miss Jane Bulberry.

Miss Jane Bulberry. Oh! Mamma, here's Thomson wishes to speak
to you.

Mrs. Bulberry. Oh! come in, Thomson.

Enter Thomson, the Gardener.

Mrs. Bulberry. Well, Thomson, what is it?

[Thomson has been educated in the Horticultural Society's Gardens,
and has a decided preference for scientific nomenclature.

Thomson. If you please, Ma'am, I've come to give warning.

Mrs. Bulberry. Good gracious ! Thomson—what for ?

Thomson. It ain't the place, Ma'am—which I'm perfectly satisfied,
and 'ave pleasure in the garden, Ma'am, and I 'ope 'ave done myself
credit; but I never yet have staid in a fam'ly where dogs was kept, and
never intend to, Ma'am—

Mrs. Bulberry. Well—but, Thomson, we have no dogs.

Thomson. No, Ma'am; but visitors' dogs, Ma'am, is just as bad.
It's Mrs. Baker's dog as I complain on, which—'aving a pleasure
in my garden—I can't abide it, any longer.

Mrs. Bulberry. But what has he been doing, Thomson?

Enter Mrs. Baker {cheerfully).
Mrs. Baker. Oh ! my dears, have any of you seen Scamp?
Mrs. Bulberry. Really, Mrs. Baker !—-

Mrs. Baker. The poor fellow was in such spirits this morning, he
wouldn't be kept in the house; and so—

Mrs. Bulberry {making up her mind). Mrs. Baker—I'm sure you'll
excuse what, I'm going to say.

Mrs. Baker {alarmed). My dear !

Mrs. Bulberry {boldly). It's quite out of the question that dog staying
here any longer!

Mrs. Baker {not believing her ears). Scamp?

Mrs. Bulberry. Yes; I've had all the servants giving warning, in
consequence.

Mrs. Baker {blankly, and still incredulous of her ears). In conse-
quence of Scamp ?

Mrs. Bulberry. Yes. Thomson declares that he's positively ruined
the garden ; and Evans is certain he'll bite the children ; and Jane is
quite tired of cleaning after him; and Swann declares nothing is
safe in the kitchen • and you remember our things : and, in short, he's
a nuisance to everybody. And so—

Mrs. Baker {gradually recovering from her stupor). Oh, very well, Mrs.
Bulberry! Certainly, Ma'am; as everybody has taken a spite at the
poor dog—of course, I don't wish him to stay in the house another
minute; but I hope you'll understand, Ma'am, that if he goes, / go
too, Ma'am—and I must say— [She pauses, overcome by her emotions.

Miss Jane Bulberry {deprecatingly). Well—but really—Mrs. Baker,
I'm sure Mamma's very sorry ; but he is very troublesome.

Mrs. Baker {with a deep conviction of the heartlessness of human
beings generally). Oh, certainly ! the poor dumb animal has nobody tc