Punch: Punch (22.1852)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

135

COLONEL SIBTHORP ON CHRISTIAN CHARITY.

uring the debate
on the Corrupt
Practices at Elec-
tions Bill, the gal-
lant Colonel Sib-
thorp protested
against it, on the
ground that it is
calculated " to re-
strain men from
acts of Christian
charity." His no-
tions of Christian
charity were then
exemplified by the
observation, that
" if a Member
gave an elector a
pinch of snuff, it
would soon be con-
sidered bribery."
Of course the gal-
lant Colonel pre-
sumes that the
worthy elector
will be thoroughly
up to snuff, and
that a candidate's

offering to serve him at a pinch, is nothing more than an act of Chris-
tian charity. We suspect that " the. effects of Christian charity," as
shown by the influences which the Bill is designed to check, would form
a melancholy picture of helpless inebriety, and other forms of moral
degradation, too deep, or at all events too low, to go into._ It is unfor-
tunate for the gallant Colonel's argument, that the charity he recom-
mends involves the necessity for the aid of all the publicans, and a
great many of the sinners, in a place where an election is going on, to
dispense its offerings.

After making his protest, the Colonel was content to exclaim, " Let
the Bill pass," as if he had confidence in the belief that his ideas of
Christian charity at an election may still be carried out in spite of the
proposed measure. The air of jaunty indifference with which this
exclamation seems to have been made—the contemptuous nonchalance
with which the Colonel cried, " Let the Bill pass"—reminds us so
much of Sheridan's song, with its " Let the Toast pass," by way of
refrain, that we cannot refrain from a parody:

Here's to the Voter whose terms are fifteen;

Here's to the vote that costs fifty;
Here's to the Candidate shabby and mean,
And here's to the one that's not thrifty.
Let the Bill pass ;
'Tis but a farce ;
I warrant they '11 find an excuse for a glass.

Here's to the Voter whose freehold we prize,

Here's to the tenant with none, Sir;
Here's to the host who the liquor supplies,

Here's to the beer-taps that run, Sir;
Let the Bill pass, &c.

Here's to the Candidate, pure as the snow,

With an Agent as black as a berry;
Here's to the Wife with a face full of woe,

And here's to the bribe makes her merry.
Let the Bill pass, &c.

For let them be clumsy, or cautiously trim,

Snug or open, I care not a feather;
So fill all the pewter-pots up to the brim,
And let both sides get drunk altogether.
Let the Bill pass,
He's but an ass,
Who's puzzled to find an excuse for a glass.

Legal Caution.

We are instructed to state, for the benefit of such of our country clients
as may now be visiting this Metropolis, that the " Cheap Conveyance
Association" they may have seen announced on some of the Holborn
Omnibuses, has no connection whatever with the Society for Law
Reform they may have elsewhere seen advertised.

Court and Fashion.—Why is the "Windsor Uniform" like a
prepaid letter ? Because it has a Post Office Stamp.

MILITARY.

A short time ago, under cloak of the Cape expedition, the Carbineers
were turned into light cavalry at a heavy expense. As it now appears to
be doubtful whether the Cape will be their destination, we suppose that
on the principle that one good turn deserves another, they will be again
turned into light. It is very easy to talk of turning light into heavy or
heavy into light, but how is it to be done ? It may be true enough
that a King (or Queen) can make a bold dragoon, a carbineer, " and a'
thatbut how the size or weight of dragoons is to be altered when
they are made, is a question which, we confess, puzzles us. On first
consideration, sweating (as in the case of jockeys) suggested itself to us
as a probable means of converting heavy into light; but we make
light of this suggestion when we consider that the process would
probably weaken as well as lighten. Perhaps, as Samson's strength lay
in his hair, a dragoon's weight may lie in his: in such case, the mous-
tache might be sacrificed with advantage. By-the-bye we would
venture to give a hint with respect to the clothing of the cavalry. Might
not the padding of the coats—which is supposed to be so essential to
the " smartness " of a dragoon, and which is such a great auxiliary in
the conquest of servant-maids when on home service, but so great a
hindrance to the free action of the limbs when in action—might not the
padding be made of gun cotton instead of the usual wadding ? The
unsightly pouches might thus be got rid of, and the soldier would feel
the looser and more fit for fighting every shot that was fired. _ To be
sure, there is the chance that dragoon, coat, and gun cotton might be
all blown up together. But we only throw out a hint: we leave it to
practical men to improve on it.

how to turn a heavy into a light

A Wind that Blows Nobody Good.

How strange it is that the breeze existing between the Architect and
the Ventilator of the Houses of Parliament, should be precisely that
which prevents those edifices from being properly supplied with air !

a fair trial for the premier.

Lord Derby has protested that he " will be tried by God and his
country." No, no. Not yet, at least. Not unless he actually robs
the people of their bread.

Vain Advertisement.
yOUTH WANTED.—By a Middle-Aged Person.

"territorial" titles.

The Landlords may be called the Geocracy : and it is also proposed
to style the simple Agriculturists the Gee/ta-cracy.

The Ministerial Bench.—It is expected that Ministers will dis-
solve Parliament as soon as possible, to shorten the Session, because,
as there are so many County Magistrates among them, they must
naturally wish to bring it as near as possible to a Quarter Session.