DOI issue:
January to June, 1852
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16609#0161
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
153
MORAL MADNESS.
LL Chancellors of the Ex-
chequer are alike, in one re-
spect. It is the lot of each
to be the recipient of money-
letters from monomaniacs
afflicted with morbid irrita-
bility of conscience. The
patient who furnished occa-
sion for the subjoined para-
graph in the Times, must be
very bad—he is so inordi-
nately good:—
" The Chancellor op the Ex-
chequer acknowledges the receipt
of the halves of three notes for
£50, for Income-Tax supposed to
be claimable from ' X.'"
The most scrupulous per-
son, if sane, one would think,
would like to be quite cer-
tain that his Income-Tax,
was due before he paid it—
would, if there were a doubt
on such a question, give himself the benefit of the doubt. The acute-
ness of the moral sense of "X" can only be exceeded by the obtuse-
ness of his intellectual faculties.
A BLACK PRINCE AND HIS BROTHERS.
The Puseyites should send out a mission to Africa. They have a
Fancy for black letters; and a piece of black literature, published in
Lord Palmerston's recent blue book, may be considered, moreover,
to invite their ecclesiastical labours. The composition is that of his
sable majesty Guezo, King of Dahomey ; a missive addressed by the
ebony monarch to Queen Victoria. The royal negro begins with the
following salutation:
" The Kino of Dahomey presents his best compliments to the Queen op England.
The presents which she has sent him are very acceptable, and are good for his face."
Hence it might be surmised that our gracious Sovereign Lady,
imagining that ne might perhaps wear boots, had sent him certain
bottles of Day and Martin, which he had used as a cosmetic. His
face, however, is something that it would be difficult to impVove.
Alluding to the Slave-trade, he says, with native cheek, perfectly
splendid without polish—
" He cannot see that he and his people can do without it. It is from the Slave-trade
that he derives his principal revenue . . . He begs the Queen op England to put
a stop to the Slave-trade everywhere else, and allow him to continue it."
But this last passage suggests that any missionary charity we might
be disposed to extend to Guezo might begin at home. His petition is
simply a bold straightforward appeal for protection. Guezo might ask
the "territorial interest," "Am I not a man and a brother?" Does
he not stand in that fraternal relation to the gentlemen who want the
Corn-trade put down everywhere else, and themselves alone to be suf-
fered to carry it on ?
Guezo's claim to brotherhood with certain eminent persons does not
rest here. Another of his requests is this :
" The King also begs the Queen to make a law that no ships be allowed to trade at
any place near his dominions lower down the coast than Whydah, as by means of
trading vessels the people are getting rich and withstanding his authority."
Who are the commercial " upstarts" whom sGme of our feudal-
minded magnates are so desirous to put down, but people who are
getting rich and withstanding their authority ?
The military ardour of King Guezo is, lastly, a point wherein he
might claim kindred with many chivalrous and high-spirited individuals
among us—we beg their pardon—above us. He declares that
" He hopes the Queen will send him some good Tower guns and blunderbusses, and
plenty of them, to enable him to make war."
So that before making any attempts to wash this sovereign blackamoor
white, we ought to have a rub at some of our own noblemen and squires,
who oppose Free Trade and pacific principles, precisely like Guezo,
illustrious among the Kings of Niggerdom.
A Joke's a Joke for all that.
At the Royal Italian Opera, the other evening, there was present
among the audience a Wag, whose hopeless condition may be inferred
from the fact, that when offered the use of an opera glass, he remarked
that, " to take in the full scope of all the beauties of Tell would require
nothing less than a Tel-e-scope." The unhappy individual has since
quitted his family and become a member of the Police Eorce.
CONTRASTS WITH THE CRYSTAL PALACE.
" Comparisons are odious."—Copy Booh.
So, the Palace of Crystal is doom'd to come down,
Says my Lord, the Adviser-in-Chief to the Crown;
The world that, amazed, its creation beheld,
Shall be still more astonish'd by seeing it fell'd.
Our Metropolis can't quite be call'd over-graced
With structures and monuments famous for taste;
And in pulling things down, one perhaps might suggest,
That we better might do, than begin with the best.
Shall the Palace of Crystal fall ? ere we demand,
We might ask, shall the Palace of Buckingham stand ?
With its parts so misfitting, before and behind,
Like a mermaid—the female and fish ill-combined.
Is the Gallery, which pepper-dredge turrets adorn,
To continue a mark for the finger of scorn ;
A dungeon for Art upon Europe's best site,
A place to keep pictures in out of the light ?
Shall the Wellington Statue—upraised by a trick
Upon poor Burton's Arch still be suffer'd to stick ?
Well—peace may depend on the comical view,
Which must make every frenchman forgive Waterloo.
Must the pigtail of George, the third king of the name,
In Pall Mall, still procure him ridiculous fame ?
And his son and successor—a sight to deride—
By Saint Martin's Church sit like an ostler astride ?
Shall the Duke or York's image stay mounted on high
As if it were Jenner's ; as near to the sky,
As though York were owed a vast debt by his race,
Instead of the contrary being the case ?
Yes, these and such objects are all to remain;
They are eyesores—regarded with scorn or with pain—
To the heart of the nation endear'd not at all;
Most people, indeed, would rejoice at their fall.
Had thy fabric been rear'd in the public's despite;
Were it heavy and dull, as 'tis graceful and light;
Had thy name been the hissing and joke of the land.
Crystal Place, thou then hadst been certain to stand.
But, being the wonder of civilised man,
For use, beauty, skill of construction, and plan,
As Lord Dkrry remark'd, amid cries of Hear, hear! "
Thou, "beautiful building," must now "disappear!"
Cocks—A Parallel-
Soulouque is a full-bloom emperor; Louis Napoleon is only an
emperor in the bud. But the Cock of Hayti, and the Cock Gallic, or
Cock of France, do, in the similarity of their fate, supply a parallel.
Birds of a feather instruct together. A letter from Hayti, dated
Feb. 8, 1850, and quoted in the Presse French newspaper, tells us how
the Emperor sacrificed to the shades of his father and mother.
Together with a sheep and a bird was sacrificed a cock !
Within a few days past, the Cock of France has been sacrificed by
the President to the shade of Napoleon; and in place of the dead
poultry, the nephew of his uncle supplies—from Boulogne abattoir—his
own eagle.
the sovereign people.
Of all the Sovereign People there are none who so richly deserve the
title as the people in Australia and California—for there it is the fault
of every man if he doesn't pick up sufficient gold during the day to
make him a Sovereign before the evening.
An Ingenious Mechanic.
The Morning Post tells us, that
" A wheelwright at Huddersfleld has built a grand waggon in a chamber over his
shop, and is unable to get it out."
This clever artificer might be employed by the Commissioners of
Public Works, if they mean to carry on business in the style of their
predecessors.
A Bitter Truth, or a Bitter Calumny {as the case may be).—
Strychnine.
" The Round of all the Papers."—The Globe.
153
MORAL MADNESS.
LL Chancellors of the Ex-
chequer are alike, in one re-
spect. It is the lot of each
to be the recipient of money-
letters from monomaniacs
afflicted with morbid irrita-
bility of conscience. The
patient who furnished occa-
sion for the subjoined para-
graph in the Times, must be
very bad—he is so inordi-
nately good:—
" The Chancellor op the Ex-
chequer acknowledges the receipt
of the halves of three notes for
£50, for Income-Tax supposed to
be claimable from ' X.'"
The most scrupulous per-
son, if sane, one would think,
would like to be quite cer-
tain that his Income-Tax,
was due before he paid it—
would, if there were a doubt
on such a question, give himself the benefit of the doubt. The acute-
ness of the moral sense of "X" can only be exceeded by the obtuse-
ness of his intellectual faculties.
A BLACK PRINCE AND HIS BROTHERS.
The Puseyites should send out a mission to Africa. They have a
Fancy for black letters; and a piece of black literature, published in
Lord Palmerston's recent blue book, may be considered, moreover,
to invite their ecclesiastical labours. The composition is that of his
sable majesty Guezo, King of Dahomey ; a missive addressed by the
ebony monarch to Queen Victoria. The royal negro begins with the
following salutation:
" The Kino of Dahomey presents his best compliments to the Queen op England.
The presents which she has sent him are very acceptable, and are good for his face."
Hence it might be surmised that our gracious Sovereign Lady,
imagining that ne might perhaps wear boots, had sent him certain
bottles of Day and Martin, which he had used as a cosmetic. His
face, however, is something that it would be difficult to impVove.
Alluding to the Slave-trade, he says, with native cheek, perfectly
splendid without polish—
" He cannot see that he and his people can do without it. It is from the Slave-trade
that he derives his principal revenue . . . He begs the Queen op England to put
a stop to the Slave-trade everywhere else, and allow him to continue it."
But this last passage suggests that any missionary charity we might
be disposed to extend to Guezo might begin at home. His petition is
simply a bold straightforward appeal for protection. Guezo might ask
the "territorial interest," "Am I not a man and a brother?" Does
he not stand in that fraternal relation to the gentlemen who want the
Corn-trade put down everywhere else, and themselves alone to be suf-
fered to carry it on ?
Guezo's claim to brotherhood with certain eminent persons does not
rest here. Another of his requests is this :
" The King also begs the Queen to make a law that no ships be allowed to trade at
any place near his dominions lower down the coast than Whydah, as by means of
trading vessels the people are getting rich and withstanding his authority."
Who are the commercial " upstarts" whom sGme of our feudal-
minded magnates are so desirous to put down, but people who are
getting rich and withstanding their authority ?
The military ardour of King Guezo is, lastly, a point wherein he
might claim kindred with many chivalrous and high-spirited individuals
among us—we beg their pardon—above us. He declares that
" He hopes the Queen will send him some good Tower guns and blunderbusses, and
plenty of them, to enable him to make war."
So that before making any attempts to wash this sovereign blackamoor
white, we ought to have a rub at some of our own noblemen and squires,
who oppose Free Trade and pacific principles, precisely like Guezo,
illustrious among the Kings of Niggerdom.
A Joke's a Joke for all that.
At the Royal Italian Opera, the other evening, there was present
among the audience a Wag, whose hopeless condition may be inferred
from the fact, that when offered the use of an opera glass, he remarked
that, " to take in the full scope of all the beauties of Tell would require
nothing less than a Tel-e-scope." The unhappy individual has since
quitted his family and become a member of the Police Eorce.
CONTRASTS WITH THE CRYSTAL PALACE.
" Comparisons are odious."—Copy Booh.
So, the Palace of Crystal is doom'd to come down,
Says my Lord, the Adviser-in-Chief to the Crown;
The world that, amazed, its creation beheld,
Shall be still more astonish'd by seeing it fell'd.
Our Metropolis can't quite be call'd over-graced
With structures and monuments famous for taste;
And in pulling things down, one perhaps might suggest,
That we better might do, than begin with the best.
Shall the Palace of Crystal fall ? ere we demand,
We might ask, shall the Palace of Buckingham stand ?
With its parts so misfitting, before and behind,
Like a mermaid—the female and fish ill-combined.
Is the Gallery, which pepper-dredge turrets adorn,
To continue a mark for the finger of scorn ;
A dungeon for Art upon Europe's best site,
A place to keep pictures in out of the light ?
Shall the Wellington Statue—upraised by a trick
Upon poor Burton's Arch still be suffer'd to stick ?
Well—peace may depend on the comical view,
Which must make every frenchman forgive Waterloo.
Must the pigtail of George, the third king of the name,
In Pall Mall, still procure him ridiculous fame ?
And his son and successor—a sight to deride—
By Saint Martin's Church sit like an ostler astride ?
Shall the Duke or York's image stay mounted on high
As if it were Jenner's ; as near to the sky,
As though York were owed a vast debt by his race,
Instead of the contrary being the case ?
Yes, these and such objects are all to remain;
They are eyesores—regarded with scorn or with pain—
To the heart of the nation endear'd not at all;
Most people, indeed, would rejoice at their fall.
Had thy fabric been rear'd in the public's despite;
Were it heavy and dull, as 'tis graceful and light;
Had thy name been the hissing and joke of the land.
Crystal Place, thou then hadst been certain to stand.
But, being the wonder of civilised man,
For use, beauty, skill of construction, and plan,
As Lord Dkrry remark'd, amid cries of Hear, hear! "
Thou, "beautiful building," must now "disappear!"
Cocks—A Parallel-
Soulouque is a full-bloom emperor; Louis Napoleon is only an
emperor in the bud. But the Cock of Hayti, and the Cock Gallic, or
Cock of France, do, in the similarity of their fate, supply a parallel.
Birds of a feather instruct together. A letter from Hayti, dated
Feb. 8, 1850, and quoted in the Presse French newspaper, tells us how
the Emperor sacrificed to the shades of his father and mother.
Together with a sheep and a bird was sacrificed a cock !
Within a few days past, the Cock of France has been sacrificed by
the President to the shade of Napoleon; and in place of the dead
poultry, the nephew of his uncle supplies—from Boulogne abattoir—his
own eagle.
the sovereign people.
Of all the Sovereign People there are none who so richly deserve the
title as the people in Australia and California—for there it is the fault
of every man if he doesn't pick up sufficient gold during the day to
make him a Sovereign before the evening.
An Ingenious Mechanic.
The Morning Post tells us, that
" A wheelwright at Huddersfleld has built a grand waggon in a chamber over his
shop, and is unable to get it out."
This clever artificer might be employed by the Commissioners of
Public Works, if they mean to carry on business in the style of their
predecessors.
A Bitter Truth, or a Bitter Calumny {as the case may be).—
Strychnine.
" The Round of all the Papers."—The Globe.