DOI issue:
January to June, 1852
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16609#0188
180
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
PARLIAMENTARY PASS-TIME.
AS the object of the House of
Commons seems to
be to fill up as much
time as possible in
Motions by which
nothing moves, and
in proposing Mea-
sures which termi-
nate always in mea-
sures of nothing but
space—we beg leave
to suggest a few
Notices that may be
put upon the paper,
with all the effect
which the parties
seem to have in
view ; namely, the
useless prolongation
of the Session.
Mr. Christy: To
ask for a return of
the number of inha-
bitants of Vancou-
ver's Island, distin-
guishing the immediate descendants of Vancouver from the rest of the
Natives ; and also to inquire if there will be any objection to the pro-
duction of a list of those engaged in the Mineral Trade, distinguishing
the Miners from those of mat ure age.
Mr. Anstey : On the Motion of the President of the Board of
Control, relative to the Government of India—to move, by way of
amendment, the addition of the following words :—
u That it be an instruction to any Committee which may be appointed
upon any subject whatever, to include any other subject whatever ; and
that all British subjects in India may be relieved, as far as possible,
from all improper burdens to which they may appear to be subjected."
Colonel Thompson : To move, in a Committe of Supply,
1. That one and one make two.
2. That good faith ought to be kept with the National Creditor.
3. That honesty is the best policy.
4. That it is not the interest of the community to defraud the
Fundholder, who would in fact have no funds to hold if he
were so defrauded.
Lord Dudley Stuart : To move for copies or extracts of all
documents relating to Kiutayah up to the present time.
Mr. Urquhart : To move for copies of all the correspondence that
has taken place between the Ameers of Ararat and the Nabob, on the
subject of the debts of the latter; with copies of all writs that may or
may not have been served upon him during the last thirty years.
Mr. Williams : In Committee on General Board of Health Bill,
to inquire whether Welchpool is dried up; and whether Hockley in
the Hole, being situated in a hollow, it would not be, on the whole,
better for Hockley that the hole should be filled up.
Mr Drummond : To inquire of the Home Secretary, in reference
to the National Land Scheme, whether he has thought proper to give
directions for any inquest to be holden in consequence of Snig's
melancholy end.
WHAT WILL THE DUKE OF BEAUFORT SAY ?
Her Majesty—contemptuous of the example of the Duke of
Beaufort, who recently had certain of his tenants so well disciplined
for the return of his son for Worcester—Her Majesty has issued her
commands to the tradesmen of the Castle, that at the approaching
election they shall do what they like with their own votes!
The royal butcher stands upon his own leg! The royal poulterer
crows " Grenfell !" or " Reid !" and the royal butterman—vindi-
cating the liberty of an unbiassed, unbought Englishman—throws his
hustings' egg at either candidate !
Well, we must repeat the question—" What will the Duke of
Beaufort say ? "
New Simile:—"As Deaf as the House of Lords."
We continually read in the papers of the House of Lords, of causes
and appeals " set down for hearing." As it is almost impossible to hear
a word in that handsome, but exceedingly deaf, building, we should say,
of all things in want of a hearing, that the House of Lords itself
deserves the greatest " setting down."
A Cypress Wreath for the Crystal Palace.—"It's the finest
Palace going."
THE EARL OF DERBY'S DIGGINS.
Various important reflections are suggested by the statement of
Lord Derby, in his speech at Goldsmiths' Hall, that he had discovered
a British mine, yielding abundance of gold in the form of statesmen.
The first is a familiar proverb, which may be illustrated by the remark
that what pretends to be gold, turns out sometimes to be brass. Some
may think that the Premier has rather discovered a mare's nest—or
the nest of another quadruped—than a gold mine. Among the officers
of state there is a Gold Stick, but we have yet to learn whether or not
the Derby Cabinet is simply composed of sticks of an ordinary kind.
Perhaps his Lordship has discovered the philosopher's stone, and has
thus been enabled to convert certain leaden ore into a field of precious
metal; and, if country gentlemen may be regarded as pigs of lead, he
may be considered to have driven his pigs to a pretty market; at
least the pigs themselves will think so, should that market turn out
to be Free Trade. The noble Earl's alacrity at turning things to gold
reminds us of Midas, and the resemblance may perhaps be thought to
be completed by the style of jokes that he has got lately into the habit
of making after dinner. We augur favourably from this disposition
to jocularity. It promises that his Lordship will become a Free Trader,
perceiving Protection to be no joke. At least he will see that a dear
bread Ministry can have no claim to those golden opinions that he
would claim for his Government, and is comparable, not to gold, but to
the baser metal of pinchbeck, or rather pinchbelly.
HOMCEOPATHIC REVELRY.
The friends and supporters of the " London Homoeopathic Hospital"
held their anniversary festival the other day at the Albion. A dinner
is a sensible thing, and therefore the votaries of Homoeopathy cannot
be accused of unmitigated folly. The Right Honourable the Earl
of Albemarle presided as chairman; doubtless, this nobleman, so
distinguished in the scientific world, so well qualified, by anatomical,
physiological, nosological researches, to form a sound judgment on a
medical question, considered well what he was about before lending his
name and influence to a system which proclaims the whole science of
medicine, as professed by the Colleges of Physicians and Surgeons, a
mistake. The tickets, including wine, for this banquet, were a guinea
each, which proves that the Hahnemannites do not entirely carry out
their principle of "similia similibus," as if they did, they would dine
for the good of Homoeopathy on homoeopathic fare, eat infinitesimal
globules of muscular and vegetable fibre, and drain goblets of pro-
portionate contents, considerably more diminutive than the acorn cups
of Queen Mab: to whose court homoeopathic doctors might well
enough be physicians. Subscriptions and donations are received for
this infinitesimal charity by certain bankers; but, neither are these
contributions expected to be infinitesimal, or we should be disposed to
beg the Homoeopathic Hospital's acceptance of the billionth part of a
grain of the perspiration of a sovereign which had been subjected to
Mosaic diaphoresis.
LOUIS NAPOLEON'S LAST CHANCE.
In his recent letter to the Times " An Englishman" remarks, speaking
of the late conversion of the French 3 per cents:—
" Concurrently with this financial ' operation,' an order was issued for 13 different
costumes for 13 sets of functionaries. We are not informed if the Bank may make
advances upon them, though the vast amount of the precious metals consumed in their
decoration would perhaps warrant it in doing so."
In other words—there is a chance, this writer thinks, that the
versatile Prince President (who is unquestionably the Governor of
the Bank aforesaid) will shortly do a little State business in the
Pawnbroking line! The conjecture is plausible, certainly; and we
are in hourly expectation of a decree confirming it. For, surely our
Little Nap. will never lose the opportunity for so thoroughly
assimilating himself to that often-apostrophised prototype of his—
"My Uncle!" _
"Stand not upon the Order of your Going !"
It is said that a decree is about to appear in the Moniteur^ to settle
the questions of precedence concerning the great bodies—which are in
fact the great nobodies—of the State. Whatever may be the order of
precedence settled by the Moniteur, it is probable that they will some
day go all together, which will put an end to any difficulty as to which
is to go first. _
nascitur, non fit.
The new Solicitor-General has shown so little knowledge of the
statistics of Bread that, in spite of his high legal attainments, he would
not, in the event of a vacancy, be well adapted to the Mastership of
the Rolls.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
PARLIAMENTARY PASS-TIME.
AS the object of the House of
Commons seems to
be to fill up as much
time as possible in
Motions by which
nothing moves, and
in proposing Mea-
sures which termi-
nate always in mea-
sures of nothing but
space—we beg leave
to suggest a few
Notices that may be
put upon the paper,
with all the effect
which the parties
seem to have in
view ; namely, the
useless prolongation
of the Session.
Mr. Christy: To
ask for a return of
the number of inha-
bitants of Vancou-
ver's Island, distin-
guishing the immediate descendants of Vancouver from the rest of the
Natives ; and also to inquire if there will be any objection to the pro-
duction of a list of those engaged in the Mineral Trade, distinguishing
the Miners from those of mat ure age.
Mr. Anstey : On the Motion of the President of the Board of
Control, relative to the Government of India—to move, by way of
amendment, the addition of the following words :—
u That it be an instruction to any Committee which may be appointed
upon any subject whatever, to include any other subject whatever ; and
that all British subjects in India may be relieved, as far as possible,
from all improper burdens to which they may appear to be subjected."
Colonel Thompson : To move, in a Committe of Supply,
1. That one and one make two.
2. That good faith ought to be kept with the National Creditor.
3. That honesty is the best policy.
4. That it is not the interest of the community to defraud the
Fundholder, who would in fact have no funds to hold if he
were so defrauded.
Lord Dudley Stuart : To move for copies or extracts of all
documents relating to Kiutayah up to the present time.
Mr. Urquhart : To move for copies of all the correspondence that
has taken place between the Ameers of Ararat and the Nabob, on the
subject of the debts of the latter; with copies of all writs that may or
may not have been served upon him during the last thirty years.
Mr. Williams : In Committee on General Board of Health Bill,
to inquire whether Welchpool is dried up; and whether Hockley in
the Hole, being situated in a hollow, it would not be, on the whole,
better for Hockley that the hole should be filled up.
Mr Drummond : To inquire of the Home Secretary, in reference
to the National Land Scheme, whether he has thought proper to give
directions for any inquest to be holden in consequence of Snig's
melancholy end.
WHAT WILL THE DUKE OF BEAUFORT SAY ?
Her Majesty—contemptuous of the example of the Duke of
Beaufort, who recently had certain of his tenants so well disciplined
for the return of his son for Worcester—Her Majesty has issued her
commands to the tradesmen of the Castle, that at the approaching
election they shall do what they like with their own votes!
The royal butcher stands upon his own leg! The royal poulterer
crows " Grenfell !" or " Reid !" and the royal butterman—vindi-
cating the liberty of an unbiassed, unbought Englishman—throws his
hustings' egg at either candidate !
Well, we must repeat the question—" What will the Duke of
Beaufort say ? "
New Simile:—"As Deaf as the House of Lords."
We continually read in the papers of the House of Lords, of causes
and appeals " set down for hearing." As it is almost impossible to hear
a word in that handsome, but exceedingly deaf, building, we should say,
of all things in want of a hearing, that the House of Lords itself
deserves the greatest " setting down."
A Cypress Wreath for the Crystal Palace.—"It's the finest
Palace going."
THE EARL OF DERBY'S DIGGINS.
Various important reflections are suggested by the statement of
Lord Derby, in his speech at Goldsmiths' Hall, that he had discovered
a British mine, yielding abundance of gold in the form of statesmen.
The first is a familiar proverb, which may be illustrated by the remark
that what pretends to be gold, turns out sometimes to be brass. Some
may think that the Premier has rather discovered a mare's nest—or
the nest of another quadruped—than a gold mine. Among the officers
of state there is a Gold Stick, but we have yet to learn whether or not
the Derby Cabinet is simply composed of sticks of an ordinary kind.
Perhaps his Lordship has discovered the philosopher's stone, and has
thus been enabled to convert certain leaden ore into a field of precious
metal; and, if country gentlemen may be regarded as pigs of lead, he
may be considered to have driven his pigs to a pretty market; at
least the pigs themselves will think so, should that market turn out
to be Free Trade. The noble Earl's alacrity at turning things to gold
reminds us of Midas, and the resemblance may perhaps be thought to
be completed by the style of jokes that he has got lately into the habit
of making after dinner. We augur favourably from this disposition
to jocularity. It promises that his Lordship will become a Free Trader,
perceiving Protection to be no joke. At least he will see that a dear
bread Ministry can have no claim to those golden opinions that he
would claim for his Government, and is comparable, not to gold, but to
the baser metal of pinchbeck, or rather pinchbelly.
HOMCEOPATHIC REVELRY.
The friends and supporters of the " London Homoeopathic Hospital"
held their anniversary festival the other day at the Albion. A dinner
is a sensible thing, and therefore the votaries of Homoeopathy cannot
be accused of unmitigated folly. The Right Honourable the Earl
of Albemarle presided as chairman; doubtless, this nobleman, so
distinguished in the scientific world, so well qualified, by anatomical,
physiological, nosological researches, to form a sound judgment on a
medical question, considered well what he was about before lending his
name and influence to a system which proclaims the whole science of
medicine, as professed by the Colleges of Physicians and Surgeons, a
mistake. The tickets, including wine, for this banquet, were a guinea
each, which proves that the Hahnemannites do not entirely carry out
their principle of "similia similibus," as if they did, they would dine
for the good of Homoeopathy on homoeopathic fare, eat infinitesimal
globules of muscular and vegetable fibre, and drain goblets of pro-
portionate contents, considerably more diminutive than the acorn cups
of Queen Mab: to whose court homoeopathic doctors might well
enough be physicians. Subscriptions and donations are received for
this infinitesimal charity by certain bankers; but, neither are these
contributions expected to be infinitesimal, or we should be disposed to
beg the Homoeopathic Hospital's acceptance of the billionth part of a
grain of the perspiration of a sovereign which had been subjected to
Mosaic diaphoresis.
LOUIS NAPOLEON'S LAST CHANCE.
In his recent letter to the Times " An Englishman" remarks, speaking
of the late conversion of the French 3 per cents:—
" Concurrently with this financial ' operation,' an order was issued for 13 different
costumes for 13 sets of functionaries. We are not informed if the Bank may make
advances upon them, though the vast amount of the precious metals consumed in their
decoration would perhaps warrant it in doing so."
In other words—there is a chance, this writer thinks, that the
versatile Prince President (who is unquestionably the Governor of
the Bank aforesaid) will shortly do a little State business in the
Pawnbroking line! The conjecture is plausible, certainly; and we
are in hourly expectation of a decree confirming it. For, surely our
Little Nap. will never lose the opportunity for so thoroughly
assimilating himself to that often-apostrophised prototype of his—
"My Uncle!" _
"Stand not upon the Order of your Going !"
It is said that a decree is about to appear in the Moniteur^ to settle
the questions of precedence concerning the great bodies—which are in
fact the great nobodies—of the State. Whatever may be the order of
precedence settled by the Moniteur, it is probable that they will some
day go all together, which will put an end to any difficulty as to which
is to go first. _
nascitur, non fit.
The new Solicitor-General has shown so little knowledge of the
statistics of Bread that, in spite of his high legal attainments, he would
not, in the event of a vacancy, be well adapted to the Mastership of
the Rolls.