DOI issue:
July to December, 1852
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16610#0069
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
61
A WAG OF THE COUNTRY PARTY.
VER anxious for the
encouragement of native
talent, we have much
pleasure in commending
a case of great ability—
in a peculiar line—to
the attention of our
readers. The papers
have chronicled a riot
which occurred the other
day at Wellingborough,
on the occasion of the
North Northampton-
shire election. That this
disturbance should have
taken place is not re-
markable, as the Pro-
tectionists, who formed
the electoral majority,
thought proper to amuse
themselves by taunting
and jeering the multi-
tude of non-electors—
otherwise, till suffrage-extension shall have rendered them respectable voters, "the
rabble." As Protectionist jokes, if they could be carried out, would be jokes very
much at the said rabble's expense, the subjects of these pleasantries were, as may
be supposed, considerably irritated thereby: when, says a morning contemporary,—
" At length, one of the voters, a young farmer from Finedon, came up, and professed to fraternise
with the crowd, praised the "big loaf system." and said he was going to plump for Fitzwilliam.
Arrived at the polling booth, he bawled out with needless ostentation ' Stafford (Derbyite) only,'
and then, turning round to the crowd, he greeted them with a horse-laugh. The patience of the
bystanders was now fairly gone, and a pebble struck the farmer's head"—
But, we are happy to say, did not break it. The casket containing such peculiarly
valuable treasures as those enclosed in the cranium of this youthful agriculturist,
is doubtless of a strength sufficient to resist considerable violence. But the gift, or
specialty, of this rural genius should be turned to account; and, therefore, we
propose that a subscription should be raised for the purpose of providing him with
a handsomely decorated horse-collar. By grinning through this at fairs and wakes,
he may afford innocent amusement to his fellow swains, and be rewarded, perhaps,
with something better than pebbles. That will be preferable to showing his teeth
on the hustings; for, as perhaps he has found, grinning on the wrong side of politics
is apt to be followed by grinning on the wrong side of the mouth. This youth is
as yet unknown to fame; but we will furnish him with an introduction, if he wishes
it, and will send us his name, that we may publish it together with a proposal for
subscriptions to get him a horse-collar.
THE BETTING-OFFICE FREQUENTER'S
PROGRESS.
Am.—" She wore a Wreath of Roses."
He wore a suit of Moses,
The night when first we met,
And knowingly his hat was cocked
Upon his curls of jet;
Flash " Publics " he frequented,
Where " Sporting cards " were seen;
And many a Derby Sweep got up
To ease them of their "tin."
I saw him in his glory—
(The word seems doubtful now),
When to his stable wisdom
His admiring chums would bow.
A betting-book he'd started,
When next this youth I saw;
And hourly he was lounging at
Some Betting-Office door;
Or standing treat to stable-boys,
With a " weed" between his lips,
And listening to their sage discourse
Of " great events" and " tips."
He told me then he stood to win
A rT pun' note or two,
Upon a "certain" prophecy—
I doubt if it came true.
And once again I see this youth,
No betting-book is there:
The prison scissors close have cropped
His once luxuriant hair.
They tell that "cleaned" completely "out,"
He closed his short career
By bolting with his master's till,
When " settling " time drew near.
I see him shipped—the Government
His passage out will pay :
And at some penal settlement,
He '11 spend his Settling Day.
A Doubtful Victory.
The " America" has this year been beaten by British
sailors. But on this occasion she was manned with British
sailors too.
THE COUNTRY GOING TO THE DOGS.
To the Right Hon. The Chancellor of the Exchequer.
a re you fond of potatoes, Disraeli, my boy ?
Broad beans with your bacon, say, do you enjoy ?
Dues your taste lean to cabbage?—d'ye like garden stuff?
At Wycombe you're likely to meet with enough.
Your friends, my dear Ben, I presume you 're aware,
Have a union of thirty large parishes there;
In which such abundance and plenty there reigns,
That not one "able-bodied" the workhouse contains.
Now the big loaf the mouths of the labourers stops:
There are not enough inmates to eat up the crops
Of the workhouse green meat in its garden that grow,
And the Union's accordingly selling it low.
At Camber well, too,—you will hear it with groans—
They haven't a pauper to break up the stones,
And are going to advertise—such is the fact—
For hands by whose labour the flints may be crack'd.
And these are the fearful results of Free Trade ;
We shall soon have no beggars, I'm almost afraid ;
And unless the sad prospect before us deceives,
There '11 be even a great falling off in the thieves.
A Pretty Safe Prophecy.
We do not generally put ourselves up for prophets; but, judging
from the result of the present elections, we think we can safely
prophesy that ttie mystery of the something which is "looming in the
future" is settled now beyond a doubt. It is the dismissal of the
present Ministry.
A REDUCTIO AD ABSURDUM.
The following estimate will illustrate the absurdity to which the
practice of paying hotel servants—independently of the regular charge
—may be carried. We take a sandwich as the subject of our calcula-
tions, for, of course, every servant who has had a hand in preparing it
is entitled, as much as the waiter, to get a slice out of it.
s. d.
Sandwich, the hotel charge........0 6
Cook, for cooking the beef........0 1
Scullery maid, for preparing the saucepan.....0 1
Kitchen-maid, ior cutting the beef.......0 1
Boy, for cutting the bread and butter......0 1
Under waiter, for bringing it into coffee-room . . ..01
Head waiter, for handing It to consumer . . . . .02
1 1
University Intelligence, as Shortly to be Reported.
OXFORD.
In a convocation holden this day, the honorary degree of Doctor of
Civil Law was conferred on the Most Reverend Monsignore
Bambinello, Archbishop of Loretto, legate a latere from his
Holiness the Pope.
The Reverend Father O'Roukke of the English College at
Rome, Doctor of Divinity, was admitted ad eundem.
The Pontificalis (late Regius) Professor of Hebrew, commenced his
course of Lectures.
the difference between two ministers.
What is the difference between Lord John Russell and Disraeli?
The difference is simply this: Russell gave us Corn, and Disraeli
gives us Chaff.
A Monster in the Human Fobm.—A man without a breeches
pocket !
61
A WAG OF THE COUNTRY PARTY.
VER anxious for the
encouragement of native
talent, we have much
pleasure in commending
a case of great ability—
in a peculiar line—to
the attention of our
readers. The papers
have chronicled a riot
which occurred the other
day at Wellingborough,
on the occasion of the
North Northampton-
shire election. That this
disturbance should have
taken place is not re-
markable, as the Pro-
tectionists, who formed
the electoral majority,
thought proper to amuse
themselves by taunting
and jeering the multi-
tude of non-electors—
otherwise, till suffrage-extension shall have rendered them respectable voters, "the
rabble." As Protectionist jokes, if they could be carried out, would be jokes very
much at the said rabble's expense, the subjects of these pleasantries were, as may
be supposed, considerably irritated thereby: when, says a morning contemporary,—
" At length, one of the voters, a young farmer from Finedon, came up, and professed to fraternise
with the crowd, praised the "big loaf system." and said he was going to plump for Fitzwilliam.
Arrived at the polling booth, he bawled out with needless ostentation ' Stafford (Derbyite) only,'
and then, turning round to the crowd, he greeted them with a horse-laugh. The patience of the
bystanders was now fairly gone, and a pebble struck the farmer's head"—
But, we are happy to say, did not break it. The casket containing such peculiarly
valuable treasures as those enclosed in the cranium of this youthful agriculturist,
is doubtless of a strength sufficient to resist considerable violence. But the gift, or
specialty, of this rural genius should be turned to account; and, therefore, we
propose that a subscription should be raised for the purpose of providing him with
a handsomely decorated horse-collar. By grinning through this at fairs and wakes,
he may afford innocent amusement to his fellow swains, and be rewarded, perhaps,
with something better than pebbles. That will be preferable to showing his teeth
on the hustings; for, as perhaps he has found, grinning on the wrong side of politics
is apt to be followed by grinning on the wrong side of the mouth. This youth is
as yet unknown to fame; but we will furnish him with an introduction, if he wishes
it, and will send us his name, that we may publish it together with a proposal for
subscriptions to get him a horse-collar.
THE BETTING-OFFICE FREQUENTER'S
PROGRESS.
Am.—" She wore a Wreath of Roses."
He wore a suit of Moses,
The night when first we met,
And knowingly his hat was cocked
Upon his curls of jet;
Flash " Publics " he frequented,
Where " Sporting cards " were seen;
And many a Derby Sweep got up
To ease them of their "tin."
I saw him in his glory—
(The word seems doubtful now),
When to his stable wisdom
His admiring chums would bow.
A betting-book he'd started,
When next this youth I saw;
And hourly he was lounging at
Some Betting-Office door;
Or standing treat to stable-boys,
With a " weed" between his lips,
And listening to their sage discourse
Of " great events" and " tips."
He told me then he stood to win
A rT pun' note or two,
Upon a "certain" prophecy—
I doubt if it came true.
And once again I see this youth,
No betting-book is there:
The prison scissors close have cropped
His once luxuriant hair.
They tell that "cleaned" completely "out,"
He closed his short career
By bolting with his master's till,
When " settling " time drew near.
I see him shipped—the Government
His passage out will pay :
And at some penal settlement,
He '11 spend his Settling Day.
A Doubtful Victory.
The " America" has this year been beaten by British
sailors. But on this occasion she was manned with British
sailors too.
THE COUNTRY GOING TO THE DOGS.
To the Right Hon. The Chancellor of the Exchequer.
a re you fond of potatoes, Disraeli, my boy ?
Broad beans with your bacon, say, do you enjoy ?
Dues your taste lean to cabbage?—d'ye like garden stuff?
At Wycombe you're likely to meet with enough.
Your friends, my dear Ben, I presume you 're aware,
Have a union of thirty large parishes there;
In which such abundance and plenty there reigns,
That not one "able-bodied" the workhouse contains.
Now the big loaf the mouths of the labourers stops:
There are not enough inmates to eat up the crops
Of the workhouse green meat in its garden that grow,
And the Union's accordingly selling it low.
At Camber well, too,—you will hear it with groans—
They haven't a pauper to break up the stones,
And are going to advertise—such is the fact—
For hands by whose labour the flints may be crack'd.
And these are the fearful results of Free Trade ;
We shall soon have no beggars, I'm almost afraid ;
And unless the sad prospect before us deceives,
There '11 be even a great falling off in the thieves.
A Pretty Safe Prophecy.
We do not generally put ourselves up for prophets; but, judging
from the result of the present elections, we think we can safely
prophesy that ttie mystery of the something which is "looming in the
future" is settled now beyond a doubt. It is the dismissal of the
present Ministry.
A REDUCTIO AD ABSURDUM.
The following estimate will illustrate the absurdity to which the
practice of paying hotel servants—independently of the regular charge
—may be carried. We take a sandwich as the subject of our calcula-
tions, for, of course, every servant who has had a hand in preparing it
is entitled, as much as the waiter, to get a slice out of it.
s. d.
Sandwich, the hotel charge........0 6
Cook, for cooking the beef........0 1
Scullery maid, for preparing the saucepan.....0 1
Kitchen-maid, ior cutting the beef.......0 1
Boy, for cutting the bread and butter......0 1
Under waiter, for bringing it into coffee-room . . ..01
Head waiter, for handing It to consumer . . . . .02
1 1
University Intelligence, as Shortly to be Reported.
OXFORD.
In a convocation holden this day, the honorary degree of Doctor of
Civil Law was conferred on the Most Reverend Monsignore
Bambinello, Archbishop of Loretto, legate a latere from his
Holiness the Pope.
The Reverend Father O'Roukke of the English College at
Rome, Doctor of Divinity, was admitted ad eundem.
The Pontificalis (late Regius) Professor of Hebrew, commenced his
course of Lectures.
the difference between two ministers.
What is the difference between Lord John Russell and Disraeli?
The difference is simply this: Russell gave us Corn, and Disraeli
gives us Chaff.
A Monster in the Human Fobm.—A man without a breeches
pocket !