DOI issue:
July to December, 1852
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16610#0102
94
PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
STRIKE, BUT HEAR.
Lobd St. Leonards has spread a perfect
panic throughout the Chancery Bar, by the an-
nouncement that in certain cases he does not
mean to hear more on each side than one counsel.
This startling piece of intelligence is dealt to
the hundred forensic non-entities, who never did
anything but " follow on the same side," which
means "feed upon the same pocket." Those
rising young men who were in the habit of rising
on the back rows to bow their consent on behalf
of some helpless infant, or some unconscious
" party" several degrees removed from all sub-
stantial interest in any portion of the suit but
the amount of its costs, will find that their
graceful obeisances no longer command a couple
of guineas—with half-a-crown for an apocryphal
clerk—in the legal market. The mute eloquence
of some half-dozen long-winded orators—whose
eloquence is so far mute that it really says
nothing—will henceforth be dispensed with, and
they will be spared the necessity of lazily mum-
bling—like the dogs of law—the bones of legal
contention.
The effect of the silent system upon the Chan-
cery Bar will, no doubt, be very severely felt, but
however seriously the penalty may fall on the
gentlemen of the long robe—and longer tongue
—it will effect a great saving in the time of the
public, and in the money of the suitors in equity.
Miss Agriculture consulting the Wizard Bendisraeli oi\ what " Looms
in the Future."
How to Bkew Mischief.—Accuse the Brewers
of using Strychnine.
CATNACH IN THE DRAWING-ROOM.
" What is the use of teaching girls music ? " grunts an old single
gentleman. " Ninety-nine out of a hundred never play a tune after
marriage ; and as many as give up the hope of a husband, also give up
the piano. I say, then, what's the use of teaching a parcel of girls—
unless you are bringing them up to the playhouse or concert-room—
music P "
" Why, my dear sir," replies the nephew or other junior addressed,
" for the same reason as that for whieh you were taught Latin and
Greek. You have laid aside the classics for some time, Sir; but you
retain their influence. The liberal sciences, as the poet says in
the Grammar, have softened your manners, and not suffered them to
be brutal. (The old gentleman coughs.) Music refines the feelings,
cultivates the higher sentiments, arouses noble emotions, produces
kind, amiable, generous, holy, heavenly frames and phases of mind;
awe, reverence, unearthly supernatural hope, and triumph, and joy."
" Bosh, Sir ! " exclaims the old gentleman. " Listen to this, Sir: "
and he reads the following advertisement from the Times:—
AH, TAKE ME NOT TO OTHER LANDS. Price 2s. 6d. The interest
V./ of the subject, the beautiful simplicity of the melody, and the splendid illustration,
contribute so much to the success of this ballad that it may be safely anticipated it
will become one of the most popular of the day. Sent, post free, on receipt of postage
stamps.
" There, Sir," the old gentleman continues. " What do you think
of that, Sir. That, Sir, is one of your fashionable songs. Will you
tell me, Sir, that such music as this—for I suppose the tune expresses
the same thing as the words—can inspire young ladies with those fine
ideas which you describe? Sir, the only feeling it is calculated to
excite in a girPs mind, as it appears to me, is a very improper one ; a
spirit of disinclination to accompany a husband, or parent, or guardian,
who may find it expedient or necessary to take her abroad. Besides,
Sir, I strongly suspect that this ballad is intended to pander to a vulgar
and morbid sympathy. I apprehend the interest of the subject relates
to some recent family exposure, involving hysterics, that has occurred
in fashionable life. Sir, such music smells—if music can be said to be
odorous—of hartshorn and burnt feathers. Allusion, I see, is made to
a splendid illustration, on the back of the song, of course, and consisting,
1 suppose, of the portrait of some die-away Beauty, in tears and the
last new Parisian costume for August. Bah, Sir ! * Will you love me
after as you did before ?' ' Yes, I will love thee as I used.' * They've
given her to some one else;' this is the kind of stuff you get squalled
about through having your girls taught music. This is your fashionable
singing."
" Quite so, Sir," says the younger gentleman. " But you see, Sir,
they don't teach our girls music. They only half teach them, Sir.
Thev educate their fingers and windpipes j their lumbricales and crico-
arytanoidei muscles : but not their higher senses; their imagination
and taste, and that perception of the ludicrous, mortal to spooneyism
and snobbery, which should be developed or cultivated by the regular
perusal of Punch."
LAW AND LUNACY.
An Advertisement appeared the other day in the Times, headed with
the remarkable words " Insanity Wanted !" We did not proceed
further in the perusal of an announcement, the first words of which
took us so thoroughly a-back, and we therefore cannot undertake to
say what the circumstances may be, under which so remarkablea want
has been notified. We can only conjecture that the advertisement
proceeds from some unhappy individual who is in some way a " party "
to a suit in Chancery, and who can hardly be blamed for seeking, even
in insanity, a relief from the tortures of equity. If we are right in our
guess, the wretched advertiser will find no escape in lunacy from the
terrors of Chancery for, as if to preserve its power and allow none to
escape who have at any time been within the fangs of the court, those
whom it first destroys and then drives mad, it continues to preside over.
The desired change from Chancery to Insanity will, in effect, be no
change at all, but merely a step from one division to another of the
dreaded court—a step, in fact, out of the frying-pan into the fire.
The Newest French Fashion.
The Assemblee Nationals says
"At present in France, irreligion has gone out of fashion."
And religion is fashionable. Very fashionably dressed, too, does
Religion come out, blessing colours, eagles, and the like. In fact, this
altogether seems to be Religion after a fashion. The Univers is the
journal of French " Religion:" but it is not an adequate one. The
priest party, to do themselves justice, should seek an organ in Le Follet.
no more to be met with than a policeman.
We have it on the authority of Sir James Graham, that when
Parliament meets, Benjamin Disraeli is prepared to jump into a
Quart Bottle. We have but one doubt as to the success of this opera-
tion, and that is—the great difficulty of finding in England a Quart
Bottle.
Family Likeness. — Uncle Bonaparte believed in destiny.
Nephew believes in fetes.
PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
STRIKE, BUT HEAR.
Lobd St. Leonards has spread a perfect
panic throughout the Chancery Bar, by the an-
nouncement that in certain cases he does not
mean to hear more on each side than one counsel.
This startling piece of intelligence is dealt to
the hundred forensic non-entities, who never did
anything but " follow on the same side," which
means "feed upon the same pocket." Those
rising young men who were in the habit of rising
on the back rows to bow their consent on behalf
of some helpless infant, or some unconscious
" party" several degrees removed from all sub-
stantial interest in any portion of the suit but
the amount of its costs, will find that their
graceful obeisances no longer command a couple
of guineas—with half-a-crown for an apocryphal
clerk—in the legal market. The mute eloquence
of some half-dozen long-winded orators—whose
eloquence is so far mute that it really says
nothing—will henceforth be dispensed with, and
they will be spared the necessity of lazily mum-
bling—like the dogs of law—the bones of legal
contention.
The effect of the silent system upon the Chan-
cery Bar will, no doubt, be very severely felt, but
however seriously the penalty may fall on the
gentlemen of the long robe—and longer tongue
—it will effect a great saving in the time of the
public, and in the money of the suitors in equity.
Miss Agriculture consulting the Wizard Bendisraeli oi\ what " Looms
in the Future."
How to Bkew Mischief.—Accuse the Brewers
of using Strychnine.
CATNACH IN THE DRAWING-ROOM.
" What is the use of teaching girls music ? " grunts an old single
gentleman. " Ninety-nine out of a hundred never play a tune after
marriage ; and as many as give up the hope of a husband, also give up
the piano. I say, then, what's the use of teaching a parcel of girls—
unless you are bringing them up to the playhouse or concert-room—
music P "
" Why, my dear sir," replies the nephew or other junior addressed,
" for the same reason as that for whieh you were taught Latin and
Greek. You have laid aside the classics for some time, Sir; but you
retain their influence. The liberal sciences, as the poet says in
the Grammar, have softened your manners, and not suffered them to
be brutal. (The old gentleman coughs.) Music refines the feelings,
cultivates the higher sentiments, arouses noble emotions, produces
kind, amiable, generous, holy, heavenly frames and phases of mind;
awe, reverence, unearthly supernatural hope, and triumph, and joy."
" Bosh, Sir ! " exclaims the old gentleman. " Listen to this, Sir: "
and he reads the following advertisement from the Times:—
AH, TAKE ME NOT TO OTHER LANDS. Price 2s. 6d. The interest
V./ of the subject, the beautiful simplicity of the melody, and the splendid illustration,
contribute so much to the success of this ballad that it may be safely anticipated it
will become one of the most popular of the day. Sent, post free, on receipt of postage
stamps.
" There, Sir," the old gentleman continues. " What do you think
of that, Sir. That, Sir, is one of your fashionable songs. Will you
tell me, Sir, that such music as this—for I suppose the tune expresses
the same thing as the words—can inspire young ladies with those fine
ideas which you describe? Sir, the only feeling it is calculated to
excite in a girPs mind, as it appears to me, is a very improper one ; a
spirit of disinclination to accompany a husband, or parent, or guardian,
who may find it expedient or necessary to take her abroad. Besides,
Sir, I strongly suspect that this ballad is intended to pander to a vulgar
and morbid sympathy. I apprehend the interest of the subject relates
to some recent family exposure, involving hysterics, that has occurred
in fashionable life. Sir, such music smells—if music can be said to be
odorous—of hartshorn and burnt feathers. Allusion, I see, is made to
a splendid illustration, on the back of the song, of course, and consisting,
1 suppose, of the portrait of some die-away Beauty, in tears and the
last new Parisian costume for August. Bah, Sir ! * Will you love me
after as you did before ?' ' Yes, I will love thee as I used.' * They've
given her to some one else;' this is the kind of stuff you get squalled
about through having your girls taught music. This is your fashionable
singing."
" Quite so, Sir," says the younger gentleman. " But you see, Sir,
they don't teach our girls music. They only half teach them, Sir.
Thev educate their fingers and windpipes j their lumbricales and crico-
arytanoidei muscles : but not their higher senses; their imagination
and taste, and that perception of the ludicrous, mortal to spooneyism
and snobbery, which should be developed or cultivated by the regular
perusal of Punch."
LAW AND LUNACY.
An Advertisement appeared the other day in the Times, headed with
the remarkable words " Insanity Wanted !" We did not proceed
further in the perusal of an announcement, the first words of which
took us so thoroughly a-back, and we therefore cannot undertake to
say what the circumstances may be, under which so remarkablea want
has been notified. We can only conjecture that the advertisement
proceeds from some unhappy individual who is in some way a " party "
to a suit in Chancery, and who can hardly be blamed for seeking, even
in insanity, a relief from the tortures of equity. If we are right in our
guess, the wretched advertiser will find no escape in lunacy from the
terrors of Chancery for, as if to preserve its power and allow none to
escape who have at any time been within the fangs of the court, those
whom it first destroys and then drives mad, it continues to preside over.
The desired change from Chancery to Insanity will, in effect, be no
change at all, but merely a step from one division to another of the
dreaded court—a step, in fact, out of the frying-pan into the fire.
The Newest French Fashion.
The Assemblee Nationals says
"At present in France, irreligion has gone out of fashion."
And religion is fashionable. Very fashionably dressed, too, does
Religion come out, blessing colours, eagles, and the like. In fact, this
altogether seems to be Religion after a fashion. The Univers is the
journal of French " Religion:" but it is not an adequate one. The
priest party, to do themselves justice, should seek an organ in Le Follet.
no more to be met with than a policeman.
We have it on the authority of Sir James Graham, that when
Parliament meets, Benjamin Disraeli is prepared to jump into a
Quart Bottle. We have but one doubt as to the success of this opera-
tion, and that is—the great difficulty of finding in England a Quart
Bottle.
Family Likeness. — Uncle Bonaparte believed in destiny.
Nephew believes in fetes.