DOI issue:
July to December, 1852
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16610#0139
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
131
! that they do not nurse their children because they think it a ' great bore,' or that they
N\VAE NURSERY RHYMES j wish to 'enjoy a season of gaiety;' or because they cannot bear that dear Harby
E have a "nur- Linkumfeedle, when he says that he will answer for it that it is
sery for seamen "
in the North
American fish-
eries, but no nur-
sery rhymes.
Might not the
lack be supplied
somehow ? As,
for instances :—
l.
Barney Bunt-
ing put on his
bib,
And then let us
go and hoist
the jib.
2.
.Little Harry Hawses,
With his cup and saucer,
Helm-a-lee,
Fiddle-de-dee !
Says little Harry Hawser.
3.
(.4 Temperance Rhyme.)
Yoho! Avast!
Before the mast!
We '11 sit in the cross-tree top,
Sing lullaby,
With a fat sea-pie,
And a bottle of ginger-pop.
4.
Sam Staysa.il he sits in the Dreadnought's main-chains,
And does n't care how much it thunders and rains.
6.
Little Jacky,
Chaw his backy,
Quid, quid, quid;
Eat his junk,
And don't get drunk,
And always do as he 's bid.
N.B. The last lesson alone is worth any money; which it is
hoped that a Ministry comprising a literary Chancellor of the
Exchequer, and considering Debdin's precedent, will not forget.
THE DUCHESS'S OWN DOCTOR.
A remarkably ingenious medical advertisement Iras recently
appeared.
We all know that a physician cannot advertise in the ordinary way.
On pain of professional excommunication, he is forbidden to publish
his address, terms, testimonials, in the newspapers ; promulgate these
particulars in hand-bills or posters on the walls : or proclaim his cures
after the manner of Professor Holloway. He must not display
inscriptions in front of his house such as " Yes ! this is the Doctor's."
"Walk In! " "All Kinds of Cases Treated Here ! " "Noted House
for Indigestion! " " Consumption Cured! " and the like invitations to
a phthisical and dyspeptic Public. He is precluded from sending men
and boys about bearing placards or banners, walking between boards,
or driving vans emblazoned with his name, style, titles, residence and
wonderful success.
A fashionable physician—evidently that—has most adroitly sur-
mounted this obstacle to the extension of his celebrity, in a letter
addressed to the Times with the signature of "L. C." " My initials,"
says the writer, " are pretty well known." So are those of Morison the
Hygeist. Yet Morison finds it necessary to keep the world in mind of
his pills. Even so it seems expedient to "L. C." to stimulate genteel
society's recollection of Dr. Linkumfeedle. We read the pretty
well known initials of "L. C." backwards.
"L. C." comes out in the Times ; rushes into the columns—or we
may say lists—of our contemporary, to break a lance with discourteous
" S. G. O." in defence of injured dames. True (medical) knight that
he is !—at least if he has not been, ought he not to be, dubbed such for
this service? The horrid man "S. G. O." had accused female Fashion
of indolently, selfishly refusing to nurse her proper offspring, and in-
humanly bribing Want to nourish them instead—defrauding Wanf s own
babes—which calumny Dr. Linkumfeedle—or Sir C. Linkumfeedle,
that either is or deserves to be—thus rebuts :—
" I will answer for it that the ladies of England will bear every favourable com-
parison on this point with any others in the world, and that it is entirely unfounded
entirely unfounded that &c, means to say that he will answer for it
that the assertion that &c. is entirely &c. This instance of Linkum-
feedle's grammar is noticeable as snowing how nicely he has hit the
style, as well as caught the tone, of advertising literature—unless,
indeed, it is an original grace of composition. In the same point of
view the use of " that " for " because " in " that they wish to enjoy," &c.
is to be observed. Not content, however, with answering for it that
it is merely, though entirely, unfounded that the ladies of England do
not nurse their children, Dr. Linkumfeedle avouches further, and on
the contrary, that
" The great bulk of the upper and middle classes of life do nurse their children
oftener than they ought. Most of those who do uot cannot. The difficulty ' m.d.s' find
is to persuade them to give up, when they are either injuring themselves or their
children—merely from a dislike to a wet-nurse."
Now, vulgar medical science, as well as common and vulgar sense,
would demand to know what classes of living creatures—on two legs—
more than the " upper " classes, ought to suckle their own young ?
Well housed, well fed, or only not well fed when luxuriously surfeited,
not forced to labour to exhaustion, at liberty to take ample exercise for
health : are there any kinds of animals better adapted by circumstances
for nurses? But fashionable "ladies' doctors" know better thar
this—at. any rate, know better than to say this—talk and write, rather,
like Linkumfcedle, in the following strain :—
" Many a child has fallen a victim to this hesitation, though title and fortune
depended on its life; and many a mother, though 'highborn and wealthy,' has ruined
her health both of mind and body in consequence."
" Those who recognise my initials," says Linkumfeedle, " will at
once see that I speak practically on this subject." Yes: I am the
celebrated Dr.—or Sir C.—Linkumfeedle, who inspect the tongue of
title and fortune, feel the pulse of the highborn and wealthy ; in short,
practise extensively among the "upper classes." Therefore, do I
altogether differ from " S. G. O.;" for—
" S. G. o.'s sympathies seem chiefly with the lower classes. I do not blame him
for that, yet"—
" Yet" for " indeed "—another grace of advertising literature—
" Yet I think he does them injustice in thinking they go out as wet-nurses for any
other motive than sheer necessity. Their poverty only compels them; the alternative
being the workhouse. They may be single, but the greater part of them are married ;
the husband, perhaps, has gone off to the Australian diggings and forsaken them ; or
a footman with £20 a year and his beer, thinks he can marry and support Susan the
housemaid, as well as himself, on that handsome income. All this is highly lament-
able, but i do not see what the 'higher classes' have to do with it any more than
S. G. o. himself."
How funny is Linkumfeedle on poor John Thomas, with stipend
of twenty pounds a year, and malt liquor, which fluid, indeed, is absurd,
compared to claret, and which wages are ridiculous to guinea fees !
What a nice man! So amusing, as well as feeling and considerate !
"John"—continues Lady Blanche Almondville, who has seen the
Doctor's letter in the Times, and " recognised his initials "—" my
nerves are quite unstrung this morning—go to Dr. Linkumfeedle with,
my compliments, and beg him to call at half-past two." Linkum-
teedle comes, and discovers that the mind of Lady Blanche is ton
much for her body, recommends chicken and cold brandy-and-water;
prescribes infusion of gentian with spirit of juniper, enjoins a sojourn
at Baden-Baden; and—pockets his fee. Pee upon fee, also, does he
pocket in the same way, till the Lady Blanche Almondville, bag
and bageage, is taken abroad wiih her sal volatile and poodles.
Linkumfeedle's advertisement has done the trick—euge, Linkum-
feedle !
Linkumfeedle advertises himself to serve as an emollient-soap-box,
a pomatum-pot, a settee, ottoman, faitteuil, or any other comfort for
invalids—of the "upper classes." Physicians who cannot stoop like
Linkumfeedle to conquer practice, fail in their profession, and relin-
quish it to the Linkumfeedles : whence, perhaps, the great discoveries
which are daily made in medicine, and the very advanced state of that
science in comparison with others!
The Practice of the County Courts.
We see a little book advertised under the above title. We do not
know much of these interesting localities, and have no desire to extend
our knouledge, but we believe "the practice of the County Courts"
is, in nineteen cases out of twenty, to give a verdict in favour of the
plaintiff.
a hint to insurance offices.
Amidst the numerous classes of policies offered to the public by
certain companies, we fear there is one policy certainly lost sight of
—we allude to that which the old proverb tells us is the best.
A Frenchman's Service.—The Moniteur may make a good master,
but it would make a very bad servant, for it is always giving " warning."
131
! that they do not nurse their children because they think it a ' great bore,' or that they
N\VAE NURSERY RHYMES j wish to 'enjoy a season of gaiety;' or because they cannot bear that dear Harby
E have a "nur- Linkumfeedle, when he says that he will answer for it that it is
sery for seamen "
in the North
American fish-
eries, but no nur-
sery rhymes.
Might not the
lack be supplied
somehow ? As,
for instances :—
l.
Barney Bunt-
ing put on his
bib,
And then let us
go and hoist
the jib.
2.
.Little Harry Hawses,
With his cup and saucer,
Helm-a-lee,
Fiddle-de-dee !
Says little Harry Hawser.
3.
(.4 Temperance Rhyme.)
Yoho! Avast!
Before the mast!
We '11 sit in the cross-tree top,
Sing lullaby,
With a fat sea-pie,
And a bottle of ginger-pop.
4.
Sam Staysa.il he sits in the Dreadnought's main-chains,
And does n't care how much it thunders and rains.
6.
Little Jacky,
Chaw his backy,
Quid, quid, quid;
Eat his junk,
And don't get drunk,
And always do as he 's bid.
N.B. The last lesson alone is worth any money; which it is
hoped that a Ministry comprising a literary Chancellor of the
Exchequer, and considering Debdin's precedent, will not forget.
THE DUCHESS'S OWN DOCTOR.
A remarkably ingenious medical advertisement Iras recently
appeared.
We all know that a physician cannot advertise in the ordinary way.
On pain of professional excommunication, he is forbidden to publish
his address, terms, testimonials, in the newspapers ; promulgate these
particulars in hand-bills or posters on the walls : or proclaim his cures
after the manner of Professor Holloway. He must not display
inscriptions in front of his house such as " Yes ! this is the Doctor's."
"Walk In! " "All Kinds of Cases Treated Here ! " "Noted House
for Indigestion! " " Consumption Cured! " and the like invitations to
a phthisical and dyspeptic Public. He is precluded from sending men
and boys about bearing placards or banners, walking between boards,
or driving vans emblazoned with his name, style, titles, residence and
wonderful success.
A fashionable physician—evidently that—has most adroitly sur-
mounted this obstacle to the extension of his celebrity, in a letter
addressed to the Times with the signature of "L. C." " My initials,"
says the writer, " are pretty well known." So are those of Morison the
Hygeist. Yet Morison finds it necessary to keep the world in mind of
his pills. Even so it seems expedient to "L. C." to stimulate genteel
society's recollection of Dr. Linkumfeedle. We read the pretty
well known initials of "L. C." backwards.
"L. C." comes out in the Times ; rushes into the columns—or we
may say lists—of our contemporary, to break a lance with discourteous
" S. G. O." in defence of injured dames. True (medical) knight that
he is !—at least if he has not been, ought he not to be, dubbed such for
this service? The horrid man "S. G. O." had accused female Fashion
of indolently, selfishly refusing to nurse her proper offspring, and in-
humanly bribing Want to nourish them instead—defrauding Wanf s own
babes—which calumny Dr. Linkumfeedle—or Sir C. Linkumfeedle,
that either is or deserves to be—thus rebuts :—
" I will answer for it that the ladies of England will bear every favourable com-
parison on this point with any others in the world, and that it is entirely unfounded
entirely unfounded that &c, means to say that he will answer for it
that the assertion that &c. is entirely &c. This instance of Linkum-
feedle's grammar is noticeable as snowing how nicely he has hit the
style, as well as caught the tone, of advertising literature—unless,
indeed, it is an original grace of composition. In the same point of
view the use of " that " for " because " in " that they wish to enjoy," &c.
is to be observed. Not content, however, with answering for it that
it is merely, though entirely, unfounded that the ladies of England do
not nurse their children, Dr. Linkumfeedle avouches further, and on
the contrary, that
" The great bulk of the upper and middle classes of life do nurse their children
oftener than they ought. Most of those who do uot cannot. The difficulty ' m.d.s' find
is to persuade them to give up, when they are either injuring themselves or their
children—merely from a dislike to a wet-nurse."
Now, vulgar medical science, as well as common and vulgar sense,
would demand to know what classes of living creatures—on two legs—
more than the " upper " classes, ought to suckle their own young ?
Well housed, well fed, or only not well fed when luxuriously surfeited,
not forced to labour to exhaustion, at liberty to take ample exercise for
health : are there any kinds of animals better adapted by circumstances
for nurses? But fashionable "ladies' doctors" know better thar
this—at. any rate, know better than to say this—talk and write, rather,
like Linkumfcedle, in the following strain :—
" Many a child has fallen a victim to this hesitation, though title and fortune
depended on its life; and many a mother, though 'highborn and wealthy,' has ruined
her health both of mind and body in consequence."
" Those who recognise my initials," says Linkumfeedle, " will at
once see that I speak practically on this subject." Yes: I am the
celebrated Dr.—or Sir C.—Linkumfeedle, who inspect the tongue of
title and fortune, feel the pulse of the highborn and wealthy ; in short,
practise extensively among the "upper classes." Therefore, do I
altogether differ from " S. G. O.;" for—
" S. G. o.'s sympathies seem chiefly with the lower classes. I do not blame him
for that, yet"—
" Yet" for " indeed "—another grace of advertising literature—
" Yet I think he does them injustice in thinking they go out as wet-nurses for any
other motive than sheer necessity. Their poverty only compels them; the alternative
being the workhouse. They may be single, but the greater part of them are married ;
the husband, perhaps, has gone off to the Australian diggings and forsaken them ; or
a footman with £20 a year and his beer, thinks he can marry and support Susan the
housemaid, as well as himself, on that handsome income. All this is highly lament-
able, but i do not see what the 'higher classes' have to do with it any more than
S. G. o. himself."
How funny is Linkumfeedle on poor John Thomas, with stipend
of twenty pounds a year, and malt liquor, which fluid, indeed, is absurd,
compared to claret, and which wages are ridiculous to guinea fees !
What a nice man! So amusing, as well as feeling and considerate !
"John"—continues Lady Blanche Almondville, who has seen the
Doctor's letter in the Times, and " recognised his initials "—" my
nerves are quite unstrung this morning—go to Dr. Linkumfeedle with,
my compliments, and beg him to call at half-past two." Linkum-
teedle comes, and discovers that the mind of Lady Blanche is ton
much for her body, recommends chicken and cold brandy-and-water;
prescribes infusion of gentian with spirit of juniper, enjoins a sojourn
at Baden-Baden; and—pockets his fee. Pee upon fee, also, does he
pocket in the same way, till the Lady Blanche Almondville, bag
and bageage, is taken abroad wiih her sal volatile and poodles.
Linkumfeedle's advertisement has done the trick—euge, Linkum-
feedle !
Linkumfeedle advertises himself to serve as an emollient-soap-box,
a pomatum-pot, a settee, ottoman, faitteuil, or any other comfort for
invalids—of the "upper classes." Physicians who cannot stoop like
Linkumfeedle to conquer practice, fail in their profession, and relin-
quish it to the Linkumfeedles : whence, perhaps, the great discoveries
which are daily made in medicine, and the very advanced state of that
science in comparison with others!
The Practice of the County Courts.
We see a little book advertised under the above title. We do not
know much of these interesting localities, and have no desire to extend
our knouledge, but we believe "the practice of the County Courts"
is, in nineteen cases out of twenty, to give a verdict in favour of the
plaintiff.
a hint to insurance offices.
Amidst the numerous classes of policies offered to the public by
certain companies, we fear there is one policy certainly lost sight of
—we allude to that which the old proverb tells us is the best.
A Frenchman's Service.—The Moniteur may make a good master,
but it would make a very bad servant, for it is always giving " warning."