DOI issue:
July to December, 1852
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16610#0182
174
PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
A VALUABLE ANIMAL.
Gentleman (fond of dogs). "Sagacious! Oh, vert! Why, he never sees an Old
Gentleman, but he pulls off his hat and runs away with it. He'll fetch a Duck
off a Pond ; and he's such a notion of taking care of himself that he costs me
full a Guinea a-week for the Legs of Mutton he steals."
DRINK—THEN CRITICISE.
Mb,. M'Kean Buchanan, who upon the authority
of a few playbills, is " the greatest actor since
Kean," writes to an American paper the following
truth upon English criticism :—
" Could the ' Cafe" de VEurope' speak, it would reveal the
cause of the success or failure of many an artist; for there
criticism is purchased at the price of a dinner, or glass of ale."—
New York Atlas.
We do not know whether the Cafe de I'Europe is
the old established shop for criticism in London, nor
the quality of the criticism that is sold there—
whether it is strong, or mild, or bitter, or mixed,
or full-flavoured; but this we do know, that if
Mr. M'Kean Buchanan did pay for his dinner or
glass of ale to get the criticism he wanted, he
has been very ill-used, and his money ought to
be returned to him; for we do not recollect seeing
a criticism in any one of the London papers that
came to the same conclusion as the play-bills—that
he is "the greatest actor since Kean."
In the meantime the Cafe de I'Europe ought
to write up over its door " Criticisms Served at
the Shortest Notice," with an intimation that
there is "A Private Room tor American
Actors."
Tipping a Wink."
We believe there is such an expression as
" tipping a wink." This expression might be
applied to the Winking Virgin, for we are positive
the Roman Catholic priests only keep up the
" wink " on account of the " tipping " that is con-
nected with it.
The Greatest Possible Happiness por the
Greatest Possible Number—PUNCH!
"MISUSING THE QUEEN'S PRESS—SHOCKINGLY."
, requently Mr. Punch has had oc-
casion, in the discharge of his duty
as literary special constable, to appre-
hend offenders against his revered
Sovereign, her crown, dignity, and
English. But a more flagrant union
of bad grammar and bad loyalty than
has just caught his vigilant eye, has
seldom disgraced the nation over
which he watches. The following
choice paragraphs emanate directly
from the Horse Guards, are signed
by Lord Fitzroy Somerset, and,
for the greater demoralisation of our
gallant army, are ordered "to be
read out at three parades." The
case is that of one Gibbings, a gunner
and driver in the Artillery—(not, as
times go, a badly educated regiment,
and, therefore, the more likely to be
shocked at Loud Fitzroy's bad language)—and the misbehaving
Gibbings having been duly tried by Court-Martial, and
" The Court having maturely considered the evidence, &c, is of opinion the prisoner
Is guilty, which being in breach of the Mutiny Act, do sentence him to be transported
as a felon for the term of seven years."
The Court has, evidently, not made up its mind whether it is plural
or singular. Mr. Punch would say, decidedly singular. As for that
unhappy which," no wonder it is " in breach," or anywhere else, to
get out of the way of observance. It is the more surprising, as the
Somersets are not supposed to be justly chargeable with not knowing
How to place their relatives. If anything set forth in the above
passage is in breach of the Mutiny Act, it is clearly the conduct of the
Oourt. But would that this were all! Alas! take the very next
paragraph:— '
" i have directions to acquaint your lordship that Her Majesty was Dleased to
approve the finding and sentence of the Court, &c. majesty was pleased to
" I have the honour to be, &c.
" Fitzroy Somerset."
Lord Fitzroy Somerset has, hitherto, been held a nobleman of
untarnished honour, and Mr. Punch regrets to affix the first blot upon
his scutcheon. But it is Mr. Punch's painful duty to charge Lord
Fitzroy with having deliberately stated that which must be untrue.
The Queen approve such a " sentence " as that! Her Majesty
sanction three gross blunders, three distinct high treasons against her
own English. No, Lord Fitzroy. Queen Victoria may have
approved that "finding," but that "sentence" Her Majesty
certainly never approved, and your most graceful atonement for your
offence will be, to order that these observations be " read out" at three
mess dinners of the valiant and intelligent fellows whom your lordship
has been mystifying, and whom you obviously suppose to be the unread
and not the " red Artillery."
CHANCERY ON THE GO.
Formerly the Courts of Law used to follow the person of the
Sovereign; and justice put up its booth wherever royalty happened to be
staying. Something of a similar kind seems " looming in the future,"
or at all events we have had an instance of justice beginning to lead
again a wandering Life, for one of the Yice-Chancellors was to attend
" on Tuesday the 12th, at the Pavilion Hotel, Folkstone, to hear
motions." This seems to be the reverse of taking justice home to
every man's door; and it is calling every man from his own door to the
sea-side who happens to have a motion for hearing in the Court of the
Vice-Chancellor. The counsel's fee will of course include his ticket by
the rail, with his hotel and other charges. Perhaps the next move of
Justice may be on to the Channel itself, where the hearing of motions
may be interrupted by the feeling of a motion peculiar to the element,
whose uncertainty would make it a most appropriate spot for a pro-
ceeding in Chancery.
Ris(e)um Teneatis.'
Some jobbers on the Stock Exchange have been offering large sums
of money for the bull that went up with Madame Poitevin, for they
fooLishly imagine if they could only " bull the market" with it, that
certain shares, which at present cannot be made to " go up " by any
means of inflation, would be sure to " rise."
A Personal Canvass.—Taking your own Portrait.
PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
A VALUABLE ANIMAL.
Gentleman (fond of dogs). "Sagacious! Oh, vert! Why, he never sees an Old
Gentleman, but he pulls off his hat and runs away with it. He'll fetch a Duck
off a Pond ; and he's such a notion of taking care of himself that he costs me
full a Guinea a-week for the Legs of Mutton he steals."
DRINK—THEN CRITICISE.
Mb,. M'Kean Buchanan, who upon the authority
of a few playbills, is " the greatest actor since
Kean," writes to an American paper the following
truth upon English criticism :—
" Could the ' Cafe" de VEurope' speak, it would reveal the
cause of the success or failure of many an artist; for there
criticism is purchased at the price of a dinner, or glass of ale."—
New York Atlas.
We do not know whether the Cafe de I'Europe is
the old established shop for criticism in London, nor
the quality of the criticism that is sold there—
whether it is strong, or mild, or bitter, or mixed,
or full-flavoured; but this we do know, that if
Mr. M'Kean Buchanan did pay for his dinner or
glass of ale to get the criticism he wanted, he
has been very ill-used, and his money ought to
be returned to him; for we do not recollect seeing
a criticism in any one of the London papers that
came to the same conclusion as the play-bills—that
he is "the greatest actor since Kean."
In the meantime the Cafe de I'Europe ought
to write up over its door " Criticisms Served at
the Shortest Notice," with an intimation that
there is "A Private Room tor American
Actors."
Tipping a Wink."
We believe there is such an expression as
" tipping a wink." This expression might be
applied to the Winking Virgin, for we are positive
the Roman Catholic priests only keep up the
" wink " on account of the " tipping " that is con-
nected with it.
The Greatest Possible Happiness por the
Greatest Possible Number—PUNCH!
"MISUSING THE QUEEN'S PRESS—SHOCKINGLY."
, requently Mr. Punch has had oc-
casion, in the discharge of his duty
as literary special constable, to appre-
hend offenders against his revered
Sovereign, her crown, dignity, and
English. But a more flagrant union
of bad grammar and bad loyalty than
has just caught his vigilant eye, has
seldom disgraced the nation over
which he watches. The following
choice paragraphs emanate directly
from the Horse Guards, are signed
by Lord Fitzroy Somerset, and,
for the greater demoralisation of our
gallant army, are ordered "to be
read out at three parades." The
case is that of one Gibbings, a gunner
and driver in the Artillery—(not, as
times go, a badly educated regiment,
and, therefore, the more likely to be
shocked at Loud Fitzroy's bad language)—and the misbehaving
Gibbings having been duly tried by Court-Martial, and
" The Court having maturely considered the evidence, &c, is of opinion the prisoner
Is guilty, which being in breach of the Mutiny Act, do sentence him to be transported
as a felon for the term of seven years."
The Court has, evidently, not made up its mind whether it is plural
or singular. Mr. Punch would say, decidedly singular. As for that
unhappy which," no wonder it is " in breach," or anywhere else, to
get out of the way of observance. It is the more surprising, as the
Somersets are not supposed to be justly chargeable with not knowing
How to place their relatives. If anything set forth in the above
passage is in breach of the Mutiny Act, it is clearly the conduct of the
Oourt. But would that this were all! Alas! take the very next
paragraph:— '
" i have directions to acquaint your lordship that Her Majesty was Dleased to
approve the finding and sentence of the Court, &c. majesty was pleased to
" I have the honour to be, &c.
" Fitzroy Somerset."
Lord Fitzroy Somerset has, hitherto, been held a nobleman of
untarnished honour, and Mr. Punch regrets to affix the first blot upon
his scutcheon. But it is Mr. Punch's painful duty to charge Lord
Fitzroy with having deliberately stated that which must be untrue.
The Queen approve such a " sentence " as that! Her Majesty
sanction three gross blunders, three distinct high treasons against her
own English. No, Lord Fitzroy. Queen Victoria may have
approved that "finding," but that "sentence" Her Majesty
certainly never approved, and your most graceful atonement for your
offence will be, to order that these observations be " read out" at three
mess dinners of the valiant and intelligent fellows whom your lordship
has been mystifying, and whom you obviously suppose to be the unread
and not the " red Artillery."
CHANCERY ON THE GO.
Formerly the Courts of Law used to follow the person of the
Sovereign; and justice put up its booth wherever royalty happened to be
staying. Something of a similar kind seems " looming in the future,"
or at all events we have had an instance of justice beginning to lead
again a wandering Life, for one of the Yice-Chancellors was to attend
" on Tuesday the 12th, at the Pavilion Hotel, Folkstone, to hear
motions." This seems to be the reverse of taking justice home to
every man's door; and it is calling every man from his own door to the
sea-side who happens to have a motion for hearing in the Court of the
Vice-Chancellor. The counsel's fee will of course include his ticket by
the rail, with his hotel and other charges. Perhaps the next move of
Justice may be on to the Channel itself, where the hearing of motions
may be interrupted by the feeling of a motion peculiar to the element,
whose uncertainty would make it a most appropriate spot for a pro-
ceeding in Chancery.
Ris(e)um Teneatis.'
Some jobbers on the Stock Exchange have been offering large sums
of money for the bull that went up with Madame Poitevin, for they
fooLishly imagine if they could only " bull the market" with it, that
certain shares, which at present cannot be made to " go up " by any
means of inflation, would be sure to " rise."
A Personal Canvass.—Taking your own Portrait.