DOI issue:
January to June, 1853
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16611#0020
12 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
with her prattle than the Rajah P And then, when I like, I can always
see them. , pi m -n i
I don't know that I quite like the name Of our house. I he 1< litch !
I can't say I like it. What dear mamma said is quite true. It's open
to a joke." And, my dear Lottt—said dear mamma—in your journey
through life; in your pilgrimage through the vale, always avoid what is
open to a joke. And then papa—in his odd way—rubbed his spectacles
and laughed.
At the same time, what a paradise our i litch—li I litch it is to be—
shall be made ! Quite an Eden ! I shall collect all sorts of wild flower
roots to take home and set in the garden—all beautiful recollections to
grow and grow for many years to come, of this time.
But at this moment, I hear his foot on the stairs.
I must write it again. Frederick never looked so handsome !
BEST, YETERAN, EE ST!
It appears that the good old gentleman, who, in the capacity—if we
may use so decided an expression—of General, is managing—to use
another expression—the Burmese war, has not been getting on quite so
fast as might have been expected if he had been, as he ought to _ have
been, a younger man. Now, we put it to a new Cabinet—would it not
be well to make a slight change in the qualifications of late and at
present required of a Commanding Officer ? If it is indispensable that
an Admiral or General should be the subject of some bodily defect or
privation, we propose that the requisition shall be held to be sufficiently
answered by an arm, or a leg, or an eye lost in action, or by a bullet
lodged in some part of the person, sufficiently remote from the brain
not to disturb those mental functions which are so conducive, in their way,
to the success of the British arms.
We don't think that the leader of British troops, or sailors, ought to
have the gout to contend with as well as the enemy ; and must equally
protest against the maxim of "Age before Honesty," and that of ' Age
before Efficiency." To smooth the pillow of a disabled veteran would
be less expensive, in the long run, than sending him to rough it in a
campaign. Put him in his arm-chair • and let his word of command be
simply Wheel!—to the head of the dinner-table or the chimney-corner.
How are our forces to be led to victory by a chief with one foot in the
stirrup, or on the quarter-deck, and the other in the flannel roller, or
the pan of hot water ?
The Great Disowned.
According to the Morning Chronicle, the Northern Sovereigns refuse
to address Louis Napoleon in the usual brotherly style of Monsieur
mon frere. Did he not do enough on the second of December last
twelvemonth, as well as last, to entitle him to that fraternal and
endearing salutation, at least from the Great Nicholas and the little
Nero ?
the long and the short op it.
It is an absurdity to say of a man who has consumed two bottles of
wine that he has had a glass too much; for, taking into consideration
the shamefully short measure, he will have had, instead of a glass too
much, six glasses too little.
The Eat Lady's Best Eriend is the Custom House, which she is
8ure to leave somewhat thinner for the visit. On one occasion, a
fashionable lady was so corpulent that she was obliged to be helped
through the Custom House door—and yet when she left it was so
reduced m bulk that none of her friends recognised her as the same
person. It was calculated that she had lost no less than five-and-
twenty pounds on that one occasion.
"DOTH NOT A MEETING LIKE THIS," &c.
Madame Tussahd, in one of her recent handbills, advertises as a
great attraction no less than three carriages that belonged to Napoleon,
two of which " she says,
" Were used by him at the battle of Waterloo, not having met since they were
separated at the Great Battle which decided the fate of their Master, a period
of 35 years."
This meeting, after so long a separation, must have been very
affecting. The frame of each crazy vehicle must have trembled ail over
with joy, and we wonder they did not rush into each other's arms—we
mean the Imperial arms painted on the panel of each door. In fact, the
scene must have been so intensely exciting, that we are rather surprised
it did not melt all the wax figures in Madame Tussaud's exhibition
merely to behold it !
Old Women Wanted."
Such was the heading of a letter that appeared a day or two ago in
the Times. The want of anility seems to exist in the Temple, where
there is a short supply of aged females, in the capacity or incapacity of
laundresses. We, m a spirit of loudness, call the attention of Mrs.
Harris and Mrs. Gamp to this eligible opening. Now that the
Derpsyites are cleared out entirely, and all chance of a little charing at
Downing Street utterly at an end, the venerable females whom we have
named may perhaps find their occupation not quite gone, if they apply
at the Temple in obedience to the cry of " Old women wanted."
A Strange Misunderstanding.
A contemporary, speaking of a recent street affray between two
Members of Parliament, calls it a misunderstanding. When one gentle-
man hits another, and that other knocks his assailant into the gutter,
the affair may be a misunderstanding, but it is a misunderstanding of a
peculiar sort : a misunderstanding and no mistake. The distinction is
important, for unless it be borne in mind, a man will not very intelligibly
express what has happened to him if, meaning to intimate that he has
been kicked or horse-whipped, he says he has been misunderstood.
Not to be Wondered at.
The Parisian journals announce that
" The Government have issued a decree prohibiting the employment of children in
theatres."
Well, we are not surprised at this. The acting of the Erench
Government has been of late such perfect child's play, that we think it
was but natural it should consider that of its little rivals to be quite
superfluous.
The Best of a Bad Bargain.
Some of the few friends of the Derby Ministry are still heard to
insist on the excellence of the late Government, of which it is said we
shall only thoroughly feel the loss, when it has been some time excluded
from power. Without wishing to make unpleasant comparisons between
the present and the late Administration, we should be disposed to admit
without hesitation that the Derbyite Government is " out-and-out "
the best Ministry.
Jjil'idea di quel Metallo.
In looking over the " Money Market" of the last week we find that,
on one particular day, the shares of some outlandish gold companies
were quite "inanimate." We are rejoiced at the fact, and should be
glad to see the appropriate word " manimate " attached in all cases to
a " dead" swindle.
law proverbs.
He who is too fond of maintaining an action will soon be without
the means of maintaining himself.
The real value of a name is discovered by him who has to prove his
title. _
cleanliness carried too par.
This ■virtue may be sometimes carried too far, a& in the instance
of the pictures of the National Gallery that have recently been cleaned,
and which, considering how much of the original picture has been taken
away with the scrubbing-brush, certainly now appear "too clean by hah'."
The Eirst Sign of a Young Man getting Old.—Shaving his
Whiskers off.
Comport por Pluralists.—There are fish in the See of Canterbury
as sweet as any that have yet come out of it.
with her prattle than the Rajah P And then, when I like, I can always
see them. , pi m -n i
I don't know that I quite like the name Of our house. I he 1< litch !
I can't say I like it. What dear mamma said is quite true. It's open
to a joke." And, my dear Lottt—said dear mamma—in your journey
through life; in your pilgrimage through the vale, always avoid what is
open to a joke. And then papa—in his odd way—rubbed his spectacles
and laughed.
At the same time, what a paradise our i litch—li I litch it is to be—
shall be made ! Quite an Eden ! I shall collect all sorts of wild flower
roots to take home and set in the garden—all beautiful recollections to
grow and grow for many years to come, of this time.
But at this moment, I hear his foot on the stairs.
I must write it again. Frederick never looked so handsome !
BEST, YETERAN, EE ST!
It appears that the good old gentleman, who, in the capacity—if we
may use so decided an expression—of General, is managing—to use
another expression—the Burmese war, has not been getting on quite so
fast as might have been expected if he had been, as he ought to _ have
been, a younger man. Now, we put it to a new Cabinet—would it not
be well to make a slight change in the qualifications of late and at
present required of a Commanding Officer ? If it is indispensable that
an Admiral or General should be the subject of some bodily defect or
privation, we propose that the requisition shall be held to be sufficiently
answered by an arm, or a leg, or an eye lost in action, or by a bullet
lodged in some part of the person, sufficiently remote from the brain
not to disturb those mental functions which are so conducive, in their way,
to the success of the British arms.
We don't think that the leader of British troops, or sailors, ought to
have the gout to contend with as well as the enemy ; and must equally
protest against the maxim of "Age before Honesty," and that of ' Age
before Efficiency." To smooth the pillow of a disabled veteran would
be less expensive, in the long run, than sending him to rough it in a
campaign. Put him in his arm-chair • and let his word of command be
simply Wheel!—to the head of the dinner-table or the chimney-corner.
How are our forces to be led to victory by a chief with one foot in the
stirrup, or on the quarter-deck, and the other in the flannel roller, or
the pan of hot water ?
The Great Disowned.
According to the Morning Chronicle, the Northern Sovereigns refuse
to address Louis Napoleon in the usual brotherly style of Monsieur
mon frere. Did he not do enough on the second of December last
twelvemonth, as well as last, to entitle him to that fraternal and
endearing salutation, at least from the Great Nicholas and the little
Nero ?
the long and the short op it.
It is an absurdity to say of a man who has consumed two bottles of
wine that he has had a glass too much; for, taking into consideration
the shamefully short measure, he will have had, instead of a glass too
much, six glasses too little.
The Eat Lady's Best Eriend is the Custom House, which she is
8ure to leave somewhat thinner for the visit. On one occasion, a
fashionable lady was so corpulent that she was obliged to be helped
through the Custom House door—and yet when she left it was so
reduced m bulk that none of her friends recognised her as the same
person. It was calculated that she had lost no less than five-and-
twenty pounds on that one occasion.
"DOTH NOT A MEETING LIKE THIS," &c.
Madame Tussahd, in one of her recent handbills, advertises as a
great attraction no less than three carriages that belonged to Napoleon,
two of which " she says,
" Were used by him at the battle of Waterloo, not having met since they were
separated at the Great Battle which decided the fate of their Master, a period
of 35 years."
This meeting, after so long a separation, must have been very
affecting. The frame of each crazy vehicle must have trembled ail over
with joy, and we wonder they did not rush into each other's arms—we
mean the Imperial arms painted on the panel of each door. In fact, the
scene must have been so intensely exciting, that we are rather surprised
it did not melt all the wax figures in Madame Tussaud's exhibition
merely to behold it !
Old Women Wanted."
Such was the heading of a letter that appeared a day or two ago in
the Times. The want of anility seems to exist in the Temple, where
there is a short supply of aged females, in the capacity or incapacity of
laundresses. We, m a spirit of loudness, call the attention of Mrs.
Harris and Mrs. Gamp to this eligible opening. Now that the
Derpsyites are cleared out entirely, and all chance of a little charing at
Downing Street utterly at an end, the venerable females whom we have
named may perhaps find their occupation not quite gone, if they apply
at the Temple in obedience to the cry of " Old women wanted."
A Strange Misunderstanding.
A contemporary, speaking of a recent street affray between two
Members of Parliament, calls it a misunderstanding. When one gentle-
man hits another, and that other knocks his assailant into the gutter,
the affair may be a misunderstanding, but it is a misunderstanding of a
peculiar sort : a misunderstanding and no mistake. The distinction is
important, for unless it be borne in mind, a man will not very intelligibly
express what has happened to him if, meaning to intimate that he has
been kicked or horse-whipped, he says he has been misunderstood.
Not to be Wondered at.
The Parisian journals announce that
" The Government have issued a decree prohibiting the employment of children in
theatres."
Well, we are not surprised at this. The acting of the Erench
Government has been of late such perfect child's play, that we think it
was but natural it should consider that of its little rivals to be quite
superfluous.
The Best of a Bad Bargain.
Some of the few friends of the Derby Ministry are still heard to
insist on the excellence of the late Government, of which it is said we
shall only thoroughly feel the loss, when it has been some time excluded
from power. Without wishing to make unpleasant comparisons between
the present and the late Administration, we should be disposed to admit
without hesitation that the Derbyite Government is " out-and-out "
the best Ministry.
Jjil'idea di quel Metallo.
In looking over the " Money Market" of the last week we find that,
on one particular day, the shares of some outlandish gold companies
were quite "inanimate." We are rejoiced at the fact, and should be
glad to see the appropriate word " manimate " attached in all cases to
a " dead" swindle.
law proverbs.
He who is too fond of maintaining an action will soon be without
the means of maintaining himself.
The real value of a name is discovered by him who has to prove his
title. _
cleanliness carried too par.
This ■virtue may be sometimes carried too far, a& in the instance
of the pictures of the National Gallery that have recently been cleaned,
and which, considering how much of the original picture has been taken
away with the scrubbing-brush, certainly now appear "too clean by hah'."
The Eirst Sign of a Young Man getting Old.—Shaving his
Whiskers off.
Comport por Pluralists.—There are fish in the See of Canterbury
as sweet as any that have yet come out of it.