DOI issue:
January to June, 1853
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16611#0121
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
113
ST. STEPHEN AND HIS CHERUBS.
St. Stephen sat late at his new chapel gate
In a state of resigned expectation
Of the winding up of a lengthy debate.
Not the least affecting the nation.
When, up in the air, the Saint is aware
Of a sound as of wings and of voices,
And he lifts up his eyes in pious surprise,
To see what the cause of the noise is.
It conies from a rout of cherubim stout—
Parliamentary apotheoses—
Their cheeks once so chubby, beslubbered and grubby
With the tears that have run down their noses.
With agonised swings of their poor little wings
They try vainly to wipe their fat faces,
With bitter complaint, o'er the head of the Saint,
Plying out from then* late pleasant places.
" What means this wild grieving ? " said holy St. Stephen.
Quoth they, "We are victims to law. Sir."
" Won't you sit and explain ? " But they answered again,
" How sit ? when we hav'n't de quoi, Sir !
" The seats are all gone that we late sat upon—
Ta'en away by our hard-hearted brothers ;—
And the worst of the ill is, that, do what we will,
There's no chance of our meeting with others.
" Here's the Cherub of Clitheroe, whither, oh whither, oh,
Is he to go look for a borough ?
Here's the Cherub of Chatham, they all went in at him,
Though they'd play just the same tricks to-morrow.
" And the Lancaster Cherub '11 feel his loss terrible,
As his seat to get warm was beginnin';
And the Huh Cherubs 'twain must go canvass again,
With the Cherub of Rye, young Mackinnon.
" They who over the same bridge of gold in for Cambridge
Walked triumphant—one rich and one clever,
Pefore they can meet with as cozy a seat,
May go wand'ring the kingdom for ever !
" And what adds aggravation to our sad situation,
Is the fact—which all folks must admit, Sir—
That the few thus ill-treated by being unseated,
Are no worse than the many who sit, Sir !"
Then the Saint with a grin stroked the beard on his chin,
And with voice, than which none could be blander,
Said, " In my house, you see, the proverb should be,
' Sauce for goose is not quite sauce for gander.' "
NAPOLEON'S ENTIRE.
One of the new Erench senators is a sea-captam, whose claim to
senatorial dignity is said to consist in his having proposed to effect the
escape of Napoleon the First, by enclosing him in a beer-barrel.
The Emperor however could not be persuaded to think sufficiently
small beer of himself to remain for a time in cask; and the Imperial
one was unwilling to pass for 18 imperial gallons. We can scarcely
blame the decision of Napoleon on this occasion; for he had become
so decidedly stout, that his weight—in a barrel—would have baffled the
strongest porter. It must be remembered, also, that if a search had
been made by the British, and the cask had been subjected to a tap,
the truth would have probablv burst forth ; and what might have been
intended to pass for a barrel of beer would have become a butt of
ridicule.
"There's the Hub."
While estimating the strength at our disposal in the event of an
invasion, we seem to have lost sight of a most respectable body of
artisans who would be invaluable as auxiliaries to our regular armv.
We allude to the _ Erench polishers, who might be most beneficially
employed in pohshing off the Erench.
high sky high.
The experiment of Mb. Sands at Drury Lane, who traverses a
ceiling with his head suspended in the air, has been defended against
some attacks on the illegitimacy of the entertainment by the assertion
that the feat belongs to the very highest walk of the hama.
A "VALUABLE HEAD OE HAIR!
The Paris ladies are wearing gold and silver dust in their hair.
Their heads, so dressed, must be worth a mint of money. We have
heard of damsels being so distressed as to be compelled to cut off their
hair and sell it; but these ladies would command a large price for theirs,
or probably they would keep it themselves, and coin their own silver
or gold, by simply cutting off a curl, or as much as they wanted, for
their immediate necessities. Perhaps they pay their bills in this way ?
Perhaps, if a lionne is hard pressed for cash by some inexorable
diamond merchant, or has not wherewith to discharge her debts at
lansquenet, she unfastens her head-dress and pays her creditor in gold-
dust by putting into his hands an immense tuft of false hair, with a
request "that he will oblige her with the difference." With this
expensive fashion, a "Pape of the Lock" might become a very
dangerous felony, and there's no doubt a hair-brained lover, if detected
in the act of cutting an auriferous ringlet off the head of his beloved
mistress, would be carried off to the Bureau de Police, and treated no
better than a chevalier d'industrie, who had been caught picking her
Eocket. Eor ourselves, we do not much admire young ladies whose
eads are full of nothing but gold and silver, though the femmes-de
chambres, who, of course, claim the washing of their hair-brushes as
their perquisites, must be of a very different way of thinking.
Then, again, we always entertained an absurd notion that a woman,
let her be ever so old, invariably looked upon the appearance of silver
in her hair with the greatest horror; but fashion, it seems, will reconcile
the fair sex almost to anything. However this practice, if it spreads,
of carrying your purse in your hair, will have the one great effect,
before long, of altering the distribution of wealth upon the stage : and
instead of an old gentleman pulling out of his breast-coat a pocket-
book plethoric with bank-notes, we shall quietly see him bare his bald
head to the audience, and hear him exclaim " Here, young man, take
this wig; it contains three ounces of gold-dust—take it, and be happy!"
In the meantime, we are afraid that poor lovers will find the fashion
quite turning the ladies' heads, for with their beautiful tresses pow-
dered with five-franc pieces and Napoleons, it is but natural to suppose
j they will look at nothing short of a gold, or at least a snver key to
open such very expensive locks!
THE BELLE SAUVAGE AT COURT.
Among the orders for Court mourning published the other day, the
i Lord Chamberlain directs the ladies to wear " white gloves, neck-
laces, and ear-rings." Can it be that our countrywomen of the aristocracy
appear at the British Court with foreign bodies stuck through their
ears ? Such decorations might be expected to be met with at the
Palace of His Majesty op Dahomey, but an intelligent Public must
regard with surprise their exhibition at that of Queen Victoria. It
is quite obvious, whatever may be said to ihe_ contrary, that rings in
the ears are only less incongruous with civilization than the like orna
ments in the nose or hps. Ladies who go to Court may consider
themselves as belonging to the superior classes ; but in wearing pieces
of metal in perforations drilled through portions of their skin, they
assimilate themselves to creatures the lowest in the scale of humanity ;
nay, lower than that. They not only assume a resemblance to savages,
but also to pigs ; moreover the pig does not wear rings by choice, but
on compulsion, to prevent him from rooting with his snout, whereas
there is no use whatever in their being worn by the lady.
A SAEE SPECULATION.
Some years ago a publication was issued at Paris, which had an
immense success. The title of it was " Les Francais peints par eux-
memes." As a companion to the above, and one which would meet,
we think, with an equal success, as it would have the advantage of
showing a totally different side of the picture, might we suggest to
some enterprising Parisian publisher to start a new serial under _ the
title of "Les Francais peints par Monsieur Cobden." We are positive
the series would have all the interest of a romance, and would not
require the help of any coloured illustrations, as the facts would be
sufficiently coloured in themselves. Moreover the charm of novelty
would be as great to the English as to the Irench themselves. Here
is a certain fortune to any pubhsher who has the energy to grasp it.
All we ask in return for the suggestion is a copy of the work when
published. The amusement we are sure to derive from it will be
more than ample repayment for our liberality.
Extreme Sensitiveness.—The man who has once been kicked
imagines that every man's leg is raised against him.
A Veil.—A Lace Blind, worn by a woman, not to hide her blushes,
but to save her complexion.
113
ST. STEPHEN AND HIS CHERUBS.
St. Stephen sat late at his new chapel gate
In a state of resigned expectation
Of the winding up of a lengthy debate.
Not the least affecting the nation.
When, up in the air, the Saint is aware
Of a sound as of wings and of voices,
And he lifts up his eyes in pious surprise,
To see what the cause of the noise is.
It conies from a rout of cherubim stout—
Parliamentary apotheoses—
Their cheeks once so chubby, beslubbered and grubby
With the tears that have run down their noses.
With agonised swings of their poor little wings
They try vainly to wipe their fat faces,
With bitter complaint, o'er the head of the Saint,
Plying out from then* late pleasant places.
" What means this wild grieving ? " said holy St. Stephen.
Quoth they, "We are victims to law. Sir."
" Won't you sit and explain ? " But they answered again,
" How sit ? when we hav'n't de quoi, Sir !
" The seats are all gone that we late sat upon—
Ta'en away by our hard-hearted brothers ;—
And the worst of the ill is, that, do what we will,
There's no chance of our meeting with others.
" Here's the Cherub of Clitheroe, whither, oh whither, oh,
Is he to go look for a borough ?
Here's the Cherub of Chatham, they all went in at him,
Though they'd play just the same tricks to-morrow.
" And the Lancaster Cherub '11 feel his loss terrible,
As his seat to get warm was beginnin';
And the Huh Cherubs 'twain must go canvass again,
With the Cherub of Rye, young Mackinnon.
" They who over the same bridge of gold in for Cambridge
Walked triumphant—one rich and one clever,
Pefore they can meet with as cozy a seat,
May go wand'ring the kingdom for ever !
" And what adds aggravation to our sad situation,
Is the fact—which all folks must admit, Sir—
That the few thus ill-treated by being unseated,
Are no worse than the many who sit, Sir !"
Then the Saint with a grin stroked the beard on his chin,
And with voice, than which none could be blander,
Said, " In my house, you see, the proverb should be,
' Sauce for goose is not quite sauce for gander.' "
NAPOLEON'S ENTIRE.
One of the new Erench senators is a sea-captam, whose claim to
senatorial dignity is said to consist in his having proposed to effect the
escape of Napoleon the First, by enclosing him in a beer-barrel.
The Emperor however could not be persuaded to think sufficiently
small beer of himself to remain for a time in cask; and the Imperial
one was unwilling to pass for 18 imperial gallons. We can scarcely
blame the decision of Napoleon on this occasion; for he had become
so decidedly stout, that his weight—in a barrel—would have baffled the
strongest porter. It must be remembered, also, that if a search had
been made by the British, and the cask had been subjected to a tap,
the truth would have probablv burst forth ; and what might have been
intended to pass for a barrel of beer would have become a butt of
ridicule.
"There's the Hub."
While estimating the strength at our disposal in the event of an
invasion, we seem to have lost sight of a most respectable body of
artisans who would be invaluable as auxiliaries to our regular armv.
We allude to the _ Erench polishers, who might be most beneficially
employed in pohshing off the Erench.
high sky high.
The experiment of Mb. Sands at Drury Lane, who traverses a
ceiling with his head suspended in the air, has been defended against
some attacks on the illegitimacy of the entertainment by the assertion
that the feat belongs to the very highest walk of the hama.
A "VALUABLE HEAD OE HAIR!
The Paris ladies are wearing gold and silver dust in their hair.
Their heads, so dressed, must be worth a mint of money. We have
heard of damsels being so distressed as to be compelled to cut off their
hair and sell it; but these ladies would command a large price for theirs,
or probably they would keep it themselves, and coin their own silver
or gold, by simply cutting off a curl, or as much as they wanted, for
their immediate necessities. Perhaps they pay their bills in this way ?
Perhaps, if a lionne is hard pressed for cash by some inexorable
diamond merchant, or has not wherewith to discharge her debts at
lansquenet, she unfastens her head-dress and pays her creditor in gold-
dust by putting into his hands an immense tuft of false hair, with a
request "that he will oblige her with the difference." With this
expensive fashion, a "Pape of the Lock" might become a very
dangerous felony, and there's no doubt a hair-brained lover, if detected
in the act of cutting an auriferous ringlet off the head of his beloved
mistress, would be carried off to the Bureau de Police, and treated no
better than a chevalier d'industrie, who had been caught picking her
Eocket. Eor ourselves, we do not much admire young ladies whose
eads are full of nothing but gold and silver, though the femmes-de
chambres, who, of course, claim the washing of their hair-brushes as
their perquisites, must be of a very different way of thinking.
Then, again, we always entertained an absurd notion that a woman,
let her be ever so old, invariably looked upon the appearance of silver
in her hair with the greatest horror; but fashion, it seems, will reconcile
the fair sex almost to anything. However this practice, if it spreads,
of carrying your purse in your hair, will have the one great effect,
before long, of altering the distribution of wealth upon the stage : and
instead of an old gentleman pulling out of his breast-coat a pocket-
book plethoric with bank-notes, we shall quietly see him bare his bald
head to the audience, and hear him exclaim " Here, young man, take
this wig; it contains three ounces of gold-dust—take it, and be happy!"
In the meantime, we are afraid that poor lovers will find the fashion
quite turning the ladies' heads, for with their beautiful tresses pow-
dered with five-franc pieces and Napoleons, it is but natural to suppose
j they will look at nothing short of a gold, or at least a snver key to
open such very expensive locks!
THE BELLE SAUVAGE AT COURT.
Among the orders for Court mourning published the other day, the
i Lord Chamberlain directs the ladies to wear " white gloves, neck-
laces, and ear-rings." Can it be that our countrywomen of the aristocracy
appear at the British Court with foreign bodies stuck through their
ears ? Such decorations might be expected to be met with at the
Palace of His Majesty op Dahomey, but an intelligent Public must
regard with surprise their exhibition at that of Queen Victoria. It
is quite obvious, whatever may be said to ihe_ contrary, that rings in
the ears are only less incongruous with civilization than the like orna
ments in the nose or hps. Ladies who go to Court may consider
themselves as belonging to the superior classes ; but in wearing pieces
of metal in perforations drilled through portions of their skin, they
assimilate themselves to creatures the lowest in the scale of humanity ;
nay, lower than that. They not only assume a resemblance to savages,
but also to pigs ; moreover the pig does not wear rings by choice, but
on compulsion, to prevent him from rooting with his snout, whereas
there is no use whatever in their being worn by the lady.
A SAEE SPECULATION.
Some years ago a publication was issued at Paris, which had an
immense success. The title of it was " Les Francais peints par eux-
memes." As a companion to the above, and one which would meet,
we think, with an equal success, as it would have the advantage of
showing a totally different side of the picture, might we suggest to
some enterprising Parisian publisher to start a new serial under _ the
title of "Les Francais peints par Monsieur Cobden." We are positive
the series would have all the interest of a romance, and would not
require the help of any coloured illustrations, as the facts would be
sufficiently coloured in themselves. Moreover the charm of novelty
would be as great to the English as to the Irench themselves. Here
is a certain fortune to any pubhsher who has the energy to grasp it.
All we ask in return for the suggestion is a copy of the work when
published. The amusement we are sure to derive from it will be
more than ample repayment for our liberality.
Extreme Sensitiveness.—The man who has once been kicked
imagines that every man's leg is raised against him.
A Veil.—A Lace Blind, worn by a woman, not to hide her blushes,
but to save her complexion.