DOI issue:
January to June, 1853
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16611#0212
204
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
SERVANTGALISM ; OR, WHAT'S TO BECOME OF THE MISSUSES p No. 9.
Lady, " Wish to leave ! Why I thought, Thompson, you were very comfortable with me ! "
Thompson (who is extremely refined). "Hoh yes, Mam! I don't find no fault with you, Mam—nor yet with Master—but
the truth bis, Mam—the bother Servants is so 'orrid vulgar, and hignorant, and spears so hun grammatical, that
i reely cannot live in the same 'ouse with 'em—and i should lire to go this day month, if so be has it won't
Illconvenience you !"
MARRIAGE UNDER DIFFICULTIES.
The ceremony of Marriage seems to be getting more difficult than
it used to be; for we seldom find that it can be performed in these
days by one clergyman, without his being " assisted " by another. A
recent advertisement seems to show a rather unusual amount of diffi-
culty in tying a nuptial knot, which might have been a porter's knot,
to judge by the quantity of parson-power employed in bearing the
weight of it. We give the advertisement—merely omitting the names
—though we shall perhaps offend the parties by suppressing what they
have been so ready to publish.
" On the 15th inst., at St. Mathew's, Brixton, by the Rev.-, assisted by the Rev
-and the Rev.-, the Rev.-, of St. Peter's College, Cambridge, chaplain of
-, to Eliza, youngest daughter of-."
Here are three Reverend Gentlemen engaged in the task of uniting
in matrimony a solitary couple—a fact that offers to the ill-natured the
temptation to remark that the young lady must have been rather
difficult to get off, since it took no less than three clergymen to marry
her.
As the price of advertisements is about to be reduced, we shall
expect to see the names of the clerks, sextons, beadles, pew-openers,
and others^ included as " assisting " the parson by whom the marriage
ceremony is performed; and indeed there are frequently so many
names brought in to the announcement of a marriage, that we often
give the lady to one of the two or three Reverends concerned in the
affair instead of to the bridegroom. We constantly experience great
difficulty in sorting the couple really married ; and when the under-
lings are dragged in, as Ave expect they speedily will be, we shall now
and then, by mistake, find ourselves congratulating a young lady of our
acquaintance on her marriage with the beadle, or some other " party "
uamed m the nuptial announcement.
CONVICT COLONIES AT HOME.
An idea is just now prevalent that transportation must be discon-
tinued because the earth has, it is said, become too full. We confess
we do not yet look upon the world as an overcrowded omnibus, and we
are inclined to believe that there is yet room for a few more outside.
If transportation is to cease on account of over-population abroad, let
us begin to look at home. Why, even in the very midst of the metropolis
we have abundance of locabties which are as yet untenanted by man.
We have only to refer to the Exeter Arcade, where the beadle, like a
Crusoe without a Eriday, walks from Monday to Saturday the inhos-
pitable stones of that sequestered spot. If any one doubts whether
those cavernous recesses are really untenanted, let him ask the landlord.
But even supposing that the spot we have indicated should be thought
too near the centre of civilisation, there are still other localities to
which the convict might be banished, without sending him to our over-
populated colonies. The common finger of consent points at once to
Heme Bay, whose bricky wildernesses seem to invite the outcast to their
empty embrace. Under the influence of convict labour, Herne might
rise, if not from its ashes, at least from its brickdust, and none will
deny that if the criminal should be kept at Bay, there is none more
suitable for the purpose than the Bay of Heme. When the Legislature
asks, Where shall we send our criminals ? Echo and the pier-master,
with a chorus of inn-keepers, answer simultaneously, " here."
a hibernian leader.
The honourable Member for Meath is considered, by his constituents,
to be the first fiddle of the Pope's Brass Band.
Motto of the North-East Wind.—" Cut, and come again.1
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
SERVANTGALISM ; OR, WHAT'S TO BECOME OF THE MISSUSES p No. 9.
Lady, " Wish to leave ! Why I thought, Thompson, you were very comfortable with me ! "
Thompson (who is extremely refined). "Hoh yes, Mam! I don't find no fault with you, Mam—nor yet with Master—but
the truth bis, Mam—the bother Servants is so 'orrid vulgar, and hignorant, and spears so hun grammatical, that
i reely cannot live in the same 'ouse with 'em—and i should lire to go this day month, if so be has it won't
Illconvenience you !"
MARRIAGE UNDER DIFFICULTIES.
The ceremony of Marriage seems to be getting more difficult than
it used to be; for we seldom find that it can be performed in these
days by one clergyman, without his being " assisted " by another. A
recent advertisement seems to show a rather unusual amount of diffi-
culty in tying a nuptial knot, which might have been a porter's knot,
to judge by the quantity of parson-power employed in bearing the
weight of it. We give the advertisement—merely omitting the names
—though we shall perhaps offend the parties by suppressing what they
have been so ready to publish.
" On the 15th inst., at St. Mathew's, Brixton, by the Rev.-, assisted by the Rev
-and the Rev.-, the Rev.-, of St. Peter's College, Cambridge, chaplain of
-, to Eliza, youngest daughter of-."
Here are three Reverend Gentlemen engaged in the task of uniting
in matrimony a solitary couple—a fact that offers to the ill-natured the
temptation to remark that the young lady must have been rather
difficult to get off, since it took no less than three clergymen to marry
her.
As the price of advertisements is about to be reduced, we shall
expect to see the names of the clerks, sextons, beadles, pew-openers,
and others^ included as " assisting " the parson by whom the marriage
ceremony is performed; and indeed there are frequently so many
names brought in to the announcement of a marriage, that we often
give the lady to one of the two or three Reverends concerned in the
affair instead of to the bridegroom. We constantly experience great
difficulty in sorting the couple really married ; and when the under-
lings are dragged in, as Ave expect they speedily will be, we shall now
and then, by mistake, find ourselves congratulating a young lady of our
acquaintance on her marriage with the beadle, or some other " party "
uamed m the nuptial announcement.
CONVICT COLONIES AT HOME.
An idea is just now prevalent that transportation must be discon-
tinued because the earth has, it is said, become too full. We confess
we do not yet look upon the world as an overcrowded omnibus, and we
are inclined to believe that there is yet room for a few more outside.
If transportation is to cease on account of over-population abroad, let
us begin to look at home. Why, even in the very midst of the metropolis
we have abundance of locabties which are as yet untenanted by man.
We have only to refer to the Exeter Arcade, where the beadle, like a
Crusoe without a Eriday, walks from Monday to Saturday the inhos-
pitable stones of that sequestered spot. If any one doubts whether
those cavernous recesses are really untenanted, let him ask the landlord.
But even supposing that the spot we have indicated should be thought
too near the centre of civilisation, there are still other localities to
which the convict might be banished, without sending him to our over-
populated colonies. The common finger of consent points at once to
Heme Bay, whose bricky wildernesses seem to invite the outcast to their
empty embrace. Under the influence of convict labour, Herne might
rise, if not from its ashes, at least from its brickdust, and none will
deny that if the criminal should be kept at Bay, there is none more
suitable for the purpose than the Bay of Heme. When the Legislature
asks, Where shall we send our criminals ? Echo and the pier-master,
with a chorus of inn-keepers, answer simultaneously, " here."
a hibernian leader.
The honourable Member for Meath is considered, by his constituents,
to be the first fiddle of the Pope's Brass Band.
Motto of the North-East Wind.—" Cut, and come again.1