Punch (24.1853)

208

PUNCH, DTI THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

PORTRAIT OF A DISTINGUISHED PHOTOGRAPHER,

who has just succeeded in focussing a view to his complete satisfaction.

PAROCHIAL PARLIAMENTS.

We really shall feel compelled to act the part of Cromwell, and walk in some fine
Saturday afternoon to dissolve the Long—or long-winded—Parochial Parliaments that infest
the neighbourhoods of Pancras and Marylebone. It would, we are sure, be a source of
great satisfaction to all lovers of sense and decency, if Punch—acting the part of the
Protector—should make his entry into one of these self-constituted senates, and order the
taking away of "that bauble," the beadle's staff, which we believe does duty for the mace
in the assembly room of the parish politicians. The affair is becoming such a nuisance at
last that, unless the absurdity is checked, we shall have the Pancras and Marylebone vestry-
men going clean out of their minds, and imagining themselves—in their madness—real
Members of Parliament. Already there are indications of disordered intellect among a few
of the leaders; and it was only last week that Mr. Somebody, Senior, or Mr. Nobody,
Junior, got up and talked incoherently about his conduct "since his accession to power,"
and his determination to relinquish " office " when he could no longer hold it with satisfaction
to his own conscience.

Those unfortunate imbeciles who fancy the vestry a Parliament, are beginning to talk
about the influence of party, which is divided apparently into the " Old Orientals " and other
sections, named after the various public-houses at which they are accustomed to congregate.
The "Oriental party" sounds very grand indeed, and has something of Eastern magnificence
to all but those who happen to know that the " Oriental" is a tavern, where the " party "
which takes the name of the " house," is or has been in the habit of smoking the " calumet"
of anything but peace, and perhaps, occasionally, the bird's-eye, or short-cut of discord.
At the risk of bemg summoned by some " honourable member " to the bar of the House—
which would of course be the bar of the public-house "used" by the "party"-—for breach
of privilege, we must declare our determination to put down all this nonsense, which is
likely to delude a lot of otherwise decent tradesmen into the idea that they are called upon
to manage not only the affairs of the parish in particular, but of the kingdom in general.

Already we are inundated with resolutions and debates by these suburban Cabinets upon
nearly every measure of importance that the Legislature has in hand; and we shall not be
surprised, if Pancras or Marylebone should favour us with a budget next year in opposition
to the Chancellor of the Exchequer. When Somebody, Senior, and Nobody, Junior,
begin to talk about " accession to power," or " indifference to office," or " sacrifice of party "
in a vestry, it is quite time that these gentlemen should be recommended to mind their own
business—wholesale or retail, as the case may be—and leave the management of Imperial
affairs to the Imperial Parliament.

Convents and Castles.

Against Mr. Chambers's bill for the inspection of nunneries it may be urged by the Irish
Brigade that every man's house is his castle; but even if the houses of women can, in some
sense be so denominated, their character, as castles, need not be so complete as to include
a dungeon amongst their arrangements.

SOUND SENSE IN SINGING.

Professor Aytoun, in one of his lectures the
other day, alluding to the circumstance that
Italian was the language exclusively used by
modern fashionable Syrens to sing in, appeared
to hint that English lyrical poetry might rather
advantageously be substituted. The suggestion
provoked a genteel smile from the Professor's
titulary and ornamental audience. Of course. In
English song more is meant than meets the ear;
in Italian—present Italian—precisely nothing
more than just that. Nothing else is meant;
nor is it desirable, to the Syrens in point, that
there should be meant anything else. The end
in view is simply to give the greatest possible
effect to the Syren's notes; every adjunct to her
singing is accordingly objectionable that in the
least tends to distract attention from the mere
tone of her voice. The less sense, therefore, in
proportion to the sound, the better ; not to
thinlc even of the expression of earnest feeling
or emotion, to which, besides, all well-instructed
young females of the superior class ought, of
course, to be superior.

THE OLD MAY MONUli.

Air—"Young May Moon"

The Old May Month is here, my love,
With its weather wet and drear, my love -,
How sad to rove through Peckham Grove,
With the frowsy trees all bare, my love.
Then awake : the heavens look dark, my dea*;
See the snow how it covers the Park, my dear!
And the best of all ways, to shorten your days,
Is to go out in May for a walk, my dear.

Now all the world is waking, love,

Eor the 'bus damp clerks are making, love ■

But I, whose star unluckier far,

Have to walk through the wet all quaking, love.

Then sleep on, for the wind is East, my dear,

Neither fit for a man, nor a beast, my dear ;

'Tis the worst of all Mays to lengthen your days,

Lie abed till July at least, my dear.

QUEEN OF THE MAY.

Cultivation for Cabmen. — If Mr. Fnz-
roy's Bill should not amend the deportment of
the Cabman, it will at all events improve his
Carriage.