DOI issue:
January to June, 1853
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16611#0261
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
253
STATUES TOR SOUTHAMPTON.
If Gog and Magog don't mind what they
are about, they will very soon have to hide
their diminished heads, and take themselves
away with their attenuated stomachs. The
City giants are in a fair way of being
superseded, and cut out by the Giant
As cap art, and the good Knight Sir
Bevis, their Southampton correlatives.
The grand entertainment given at that
progressive town, under the mild title of
a dejeuner to Commodore_ Vanderbildt,
is one of a continual series of banquets
bidding fair to surpass even those immense
hospitalities which are superintended by
the Genii of Guildhall. We expect soon
to ses the Mayor and Corporation of
Southampton disposing of their two or
three hundred tureens of real turtle, and
sequences, at a sitting; with some help.
But Bevis and As cap art ought to enjoy
a promotion commensurate with the con-
sequence which they are so rapidly ac-
quiring. They are at present represented
solely by two weather-beaten portraits on
the face of the Bargate; and it is high
time that a decent statue of each should
be erected in the interior of that ancient
edifice, in order to preside with proper
dignity over the festivities of which it is the scene. The figures
ought to be executed in a style of high sculpture, and not to be
mere wooden and painted images, in order that they may constitute
the fitting emblems of a reformed and enterprising municipality, in
contradistinction to one that, stuck in the mud of abuses, is most aptly
symbolised by a couple of monstrous dummies.
WHAT IS TRUTH ?
A Duet behceen Sir Frederick Thesiger and Mr. Coppock.
Sir F. T. Tell me, prithee, gentle youth,
Tell, oh! tell me, what is Truth ?
Is it Truth, if one disclose
Only part of what one knows,
Closely keeping locked the rest
In the cupboard of the breast ?
Mr. C. Truth, I hold, is that to say
Which shall not my faith betray,
Truth is Pact, in part revealed,
Some discovered, some concealed,
Fact, so far as it extends,
Saving secrets, kept for friends.
Sir F. T Would'st thou with half-truth deceive ?
Mr. C. Blame not me if flats believe.
Sir F. T. Truth, I think, with thee doth lie.
Mr. C. Thou 'rt another, bad as I.
Sir F. T. I'm all open—
Mr. C. Never shut ?
Sir F. T. Speak*the whole—
Mr. C. And nothing but ? .
It is said that Truth doth dwell
In the bottom of a well.
Both.
Is not that the bosom's cell ?
How are we that word to spell,
Tell us, oh ye wise ones, tell;
C, or S. E. double L ?
The Christening of the Camp.
The inauguration of the Camp at Chobham was an extremely festive
affair. By reason of the storm of rain which attended their operations,
our gallant troops began their campaign with a jolly mess.
the member for country bucks.
In reference to the Succession Duty, it is a question whether the
Ex-Chancellor oe the Exchequer does not run with the heir and
hold with the hounds.
Problem in Table Moving.—Is it possible to make an unsteady
table turn over a new leaf ?
A REVERENT RAFFLE.
{To Frederick Lucas, M.P.)
Respected Quondam Priend,
I believe thou art Editor of the Tablet newspaper. Sub-
joined is an advertisement which I have cut out of thy journal.
ONLY ONE SHILLING. ■— Last Chances in the RAFFLE for OUR
V/ LADY of GRACE of ACTON. It is believed that some of the Luckiest
Numbers are still to be bad. The subscriptions will positively be completed this
month. Persons desirous of obtaining magnificent jewels or other costly objects for
Twelve Postage Stamps, would do well to apply for the remaining Tickets imme-
diately, to the Undersigned, or at Messes. Bukns & Lambert's, 17, Portman Street,
Portman Square, London, where also is to be seen the truly magnificent and exqui-
sitely wrought WORKBOX of SILVER and IVORY, of genuine Bombay manu-
facture, which will be ballotted for by Forty Members only, at 10s. each. This affair
is really worthy of attention.
North Cottages, Acton Green, Middlesex. JOHN BONUS, M.A.
I beseech thee to answer me a few questions, if thou canst, touching
the above. What is meant by " The Raffle for our Lady of Grace of
Acton ?" Dost thou not think that at first sight a man might imagine
that the Acton alluded to was an Acton U.S., in the South, and that
the notification in regard to the Lady thereof was a wicked American
advertisement concerning a female slave ? I conjecture, however,
from the reference to "jewels and other costly objects," that the object
intended is an image decorated with trinkets; is that thy Lady of
Grace as well as John Bonus's ? In that case am I to understand
that the image is a likeness ? and if so, why is it described as " of
Acton " ? Hath thy Lady of Grace, in respect of Acton, any peculiarity
of countenance or form ? Or is the image entitled " of Acton " because
it hath been used to be worshipped there ? Having been the object of
adoration, is it now to become the subject of a raffle ? And if thou
must answer this question in the affirmative, tell me in what degree or
particular the thing differeth from a fetish !
Moreover, I will thank thee to inform me what John Bonus meaneth
by signing himself M. A. ? I know that those letters commonly stand
for Master of Arts; but it is difficult to conceive that the writer of the
above advertisement could ever have been to any college; or, indeed,
civilised school.
I note that thy friend and condisciple, John Bonus, saith, " It is
believed that some of the luckiest numbers are still to be had." I wish
to know, in case I should become a convert to thy persuasion, whether
I should be expected to believe in luck ?
Thy people often complain that the personage, whose image I sup-
pose the " Lady of Grace " to be, is insulted in heretical journals. I
ask thee if thou canst point out anything more derogatory to her in any
one of them than the above advertisement in thy own paper ?
I am, respectfully,
Obadiah Punch.
85, Fleet Street, Jtcne, 1853.
A CHANCE POR CLAIRYOYANCE.
Similar to the subjoined, there appeared in the Times the other day
nearly a whole column of advertisements which announced that an
eminent auctioneer
" Has received instructions to include in his next Monthly Periodical Sale of Rever-
sions, Policies, &c, a One Ninth of a One Thied Part of the Sums of £2,300 and £2,000
Three-and-a-Quarter per Cents., receivable on the decease of a lady now in her 61st
year, provided a gentleman, now in his 37th year, survives a lady now in herTOth year."
If clairvoyantes can really
" look into the seeds of time,
And say which grain will grow, and which will not,"
here was a chance—one of a series of chances—for the conversion oi
Mr. Punch to a belief in mesmeric prevision. Not that Mr. Punch
himself would have ventured to invest any capital, beyond a few
halfpence, on the strength of a somnambulist's prediction respecting
anybody's decease ; but, doubtless, there are some persons sufficiently
bold to try the experiment: and the prophecy might have been com-
municated to Mr. Punch first, and its fulfilment—in case thereof—
afterwards.
How is it that the Stock-jobbers have not availed themselves of
clairvoyance, which, if true, would supersede the Electric Telegraph ?
The article seems to be at a discount in the City. That is not much
to be wondered at, when you consider that its Professors themselves
have not the courage to try it there, but give seances and consultations
for a paltry guinea, when they might make millions by speculating in
the Punds—if they are to be credited.
queer paper.
Lord Stanley's notice of motion relative to the Government India
Bill has excited some apprehension that the Bill will be dishonoured.
253
STATUES TOR SOUTHAMPTON.
If Gog and Magog don't mind what they
are about, they will very soon have to hide
their diminished heads, and take themselves
away with their attenuated stomachs. The
City giants are in a fair way of being
superseded, and cut out by the Giant
As cap art, and the good Knight Sir
Bevis, their Southampton correlatives.
The grand entertainment given at that
progressive town, under the mild title of
a dejeuner to Commodore_ Vanderbildt,
is one of a continual series of banquets
bidding fair to surpass even those immense
hospitalities which are superintended by
the Genii of Guildhall. We expect soon
to ses the Mayor and Corporation of
Southampton disposing of their two or
three hundred tureens of real turtle, and
sequences, at a sitting; with some help.
But Bevis and As cap art ought to enjoy
a promotion commensurate with the con-
sequence which they are so rapidly ac-
quiring. They are at present represented
solely by two weather-beaten portraits on
the face of the Bargate; and it is high
time that a decent statue of each should
be erected in the interior of that ancient
edifice, in order to preside with proper
dignity over the festivities of which it is the scene. The figures
ought to be executed in a style of high sculpture, and not to be
mere wooden and painted images, in order that they may constitute
the fitting emblems of a reformed and enterprising municipality, in
contradistinction to one that, stuck in the mud of abuses, is most aptly
symbolised by a couple of monstrous dummies.
WHAT IS TRUTH ?
A Duet behceen Sir Frederick Thesiger and Mr. Coppock.
Sir F. T. Tell me, prithee, gentle youth,
Tell, oh! tell me, what is Truth ?
Is it Truth, if one disclose
Only part of what one knows,
Closely keeping locked the rest
In the cupboard of the breast ?
Mr. C. Truth, I hold, is that to say
Which shall not my faith betray,
Truth is Pact, in part revealed,
Some discovered, some concealed,
Fact, so far as it extends,
Saving secrets, kept for friends.
Sir F. T Would'st thou with half-truth deceive ?
Mr. C. Blame not me if flats believe.
Sir F. T. Truth, I think, with thee doth lie.
Mr. C. Thou 'rt another, bad as I.
Sir F. T. I'm all open—
Mr. C. Never shut ?
Sir F. T. Speak*the whole—
Mr. C. And nothing but ? .
It is said that Truth doth dwell
In the bottom of a well.
Both.
Is not that the bosom's cell ?
How are we that word to spell,
Tell us, oh ye wise ones, tell;
C, or S. E. double L ?
The Christening of the Camp.
The inauguration of the Camp at Chobham was an extremely festive
affair. By reason of the storm of rain which attended their operations,
our gallant troops began their campaign with a jolly mess.
the member for country bucks.
In reference to the Succession Duty, it is a question whether the
Ex-Chancellor oe the Exchequer does not run with the heir and
hold with the hounds.
Problem in Table Moving.—Is it possible to make an unsteady
table turn over a new leaf ?
A REVERENT RAFFLE.
{To Frederick Lucas, M.P.)
Respected Quondam Priend,
I believe thou art Editor of the Tablet newspaper. Sub-
joined is an advertisement which I have cut out of thy journal.
ONLY ONE SHILLING. ■— Last Chances in the RAFFLE for OUR
V/ LADY of GRACE of ACTON. It is believed that some of the Luckiest
Numbers are still to be bad. The subscriptions will positively be completed this
month. Persons desirous of obtaining magnificent jewels or other costly objects for
Twelve Postage Stamps, would do well to apply for the remaining Tickets imme-
diately, to the Undersigned, or at Messes. Bukns & Lambert's, 17, Portman Street,
Portman Square, London, where also is to be seen the truly magnificent and exqui-
sitely wrought WORKBOX of SILVER and IVORY, of genuine Bombay manu-
facture, which will be ballotted for by Forty Members only, at 10s. each. This affair
is really worthy of attention.
North Cottages, Acton Green, Middlesex. JOHN BONUS, M.A.
I beseech thee to answer me a few questions, if thou canst, touching
the above. What is meant by " The Raffle for our Lady of Grace of
Acton ?" Dost thou not think that at first sight a man might imagine
that the Acton alluded to was an Acton U.S., in the South, and that
the notification in regard to the Lady thereof was a wicked American
advertisement concerning a female slave ? I conjecture, however,
from the reference to "jewels and other costly objects," that the object
intended is an image decorated with trinkets; is that thy Lady of
Grace as well as John Bonus's ? In that case am I to understand
that the image is a likeness ? and if so, why is it described as " of
Acton " ? Hath thy Lady of Grace, in respect of Acton, any peculiarity
of countenance or form ? Or is the image entitled " of Acton " because
it hath been used to be worshipped there ? Having been the object of
adoration, is it now to become the subject of a raffle ? And if thou
must answer this question in the affirmative, tell me in what degree or
particular the thing differeth from a fetish !
Moreover, I will thank thee to inform me what John Bonus meaneth
by signing himself M. A. ? I know that those letters commonly stand
for Master of Arts; but it is difficult to conceive that the writer of the
above advertisement could ever have been to any college; or, indeed,
civilised school.
I note that thy friend and condisciple, John Bonus, saith, " It is
believed that some of the luckiest numbers are still to be had." I wish
to know, in case I should become a convert to thy persuasion, whether
I should be expected to believe in luck ?
Thy people often complain that the personage, whose image I sup-
pose the " Lady of Grace " to be, is insulted in heretical journals. I
ask thee if thou canst point out anything more derogatory to her in any
one of them than the above advertisement in thy own paper ?
I am, respectfully,
Obadiah Punch.
85, Fleet Street, Jtcne, 1853.
A CHANCE POR CLAIRYOYANCE.
Similar to the subjoined, there appeared in the Times the other day
nearly a whole column of advertisements which announced that an
eminent auctioneer
" Has received instructions to include in his next Monthly Periodical Sale of Rever-
sions, Policies, &c, a One Ninth of a One Thied Part of the Sums of £2,300 and £2,000
Three-and-a-Quarter per Cents., receivable on the decease of a lady now in her 61st
year, provided a gentleman, now in his 37th year, survives a lady now in herTOth year."
If clairvoyantes can really
" look into the seeds of time,
And say which grain will grow, and which will not,"
here was a chance—one of a series of chances—for the conversion oi
Mr. Punch to a belief in mesmeric prevision. Not that Mr. Punch
himself would have ventured to invest any capital, beyond a few
halfpence, on the strength of a somnambulist's prediction respecting
anybody's decease ; but, doubtless, there are some persons sufficiently
bold to try the experiment: and the prophecy might have been com-
municated to Mr. Punch first, and its fulfilment—in case thereof—
afterwards.
How is it that the Stock-jobbers have not availed themselves of
clairvoyance, which, if true, would supersede the Electric Telegraph ?
The article seems to be at a discount in the City. That is not much
to be wondered at, when you consider that its Professors themselves
have not the courage to try it there, but give seances and consultations
for a paltry guinea, when they might make millions by speculating in
the Punds—if they are to be credited.
queer paper.
Lord Stanley's notice of motion relative to the Government India
Bill has excited some apprehension that the Bill will be dishonoured.