Punch (25.1853)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

THE RE-CHRISTENING OF THE BOSPHORUS.

Gave her throbbing pulses stillness,
Calmed the fever of her brain.

Not the less apart for ever,

Europe’s coast, and Asia’s shore.
Though two continents to sever,

Scarce a mile of sea doth roar;

Though, whene’er that ocean-music
Sinks upon the summer air,

You may hear Sultanieh’s bulbuls
Answering those of Buyukdere.

To that belt of rolling water.

In the early Grecian age.

Came the Argive king’s fair daughter
Eleeing Juno’s jealous rage.

Zeus had wrought the maid dishonour ;

And to hide her from his spouse.
Working foul defeature on her,

Changed her fair form to a cow’s.

But the lynx-eyed wife discovering
What the heifer’s form concealed,

As a gad-fly quickly hovering,

Stung her rival from the field ;

Driving on that hapless maiden—

Mad with pain and flecked with gore—
Till she staggered, sorrow-laden,

To the far Propontid shore.

Pausing there, perforce, to breathe her.
Paint, and frenzied, and foredone,

She beheld the sea beneath her
Basking lucid in the sun.

In she dashed—the grateful cliilliiess
Brought assuagement to her pain,

Juno then her chase arrested,

And the gad-fly stung no more ;

On swam Io, unmolested,

Till she reached the Asian shore.
Hence that strait, the poets tell ns.
Took the name it bears till now,

“ Bosporus,” in tongue of Hellas,
Meaning “Passage of the Cow.”

Age on age has since passed over
Those wild waters in their flow—
They have seen the Cariau rover,
Seeking wealth with sling and bow—
Seen the sun in his meridian
Glinted back from countless arms,
When to Greece the turbaned Median
Led his hosts, like locust-swarms.

Eor the lordship of tlxat region
Every race hatli drawn the sword—
Grecian phalanx, Homan legion,

Norse Yikinger, Yandal horde.

Still, through all, that strait retaineth
Its old name in Hellas’ song;

“ Bosporus ” it still remaineth,

“ Bosporus ” it shall be long.

But from this our day the meaning
Of the word we cast anew.

Now that Russia’s Czar o’erweening,
His war-vultures doth unmew.

Onward like a base marauder
Threatening force, when foiled in
sleight.

He hath crossed the Turkisn border
In contempt of law and right.

While the Turk, in force unequal,

But with heart that scorns to flee,

Dauntlessly awaits the sequel
Of the war, if war must be.

Of the WTest he claims alliance ;

France and England meet the call.

And their flairs in proud defiance
Soon may float by Stamboul’s wall.

In the outraged cause of nations,

Turk and Christian will be one ;

When the fleets are at their stations'
Every man beside liis gun.

But our place must be the vanward.
Other leading brook not we—

Bearing England’s banner onward,

The Britannia cleaves the sea.

Wrhen defiant but unvaunting—

Hull by hull, slow surging on—

Tricolor and red cross flaunting,
Euxine-wards the fleet hath gone.

Bosporus ! thine ancient glory,

This thy new renown shall dull;

“ Passage of the Cow,” in story,
Changing to “Passage of John
Bull.”

A DAUGHTER OF THE CAMP.

Miss Caroline to her brother, student at Haileybury College.

“ My dear Henry,

“Mamma and Papa desire me to say that they were very
much gratified at reading that you acquitted yourself so well at the
examination, and Papa has given me a cheque to enclose which, I dare
say, yon horrid creature, will make your sister’s letter less of a ‘ baw ’
than usual. I sincerely hope that you will profit by the address of that
dear old white-headed. Sir James, and learn to be “ considerate of the
feelings and wishes of those around you; ” that is, that you will not
grumble in the holidays at having to take Julia and me to the Opera,
or insist on smoking in your bedroom when you know that the smoke
i comes under Maria’s door. However, I won’t scold you as you have
been such a good boy at school—bless me. College, I mean; ten
millions of pardons, I’m sure.

“On Monday we all went to the Camp at Chobham, choosing the
Gay quite accidentally, but so fortunately. The next morning, while I
was cutting the Times for Papa, I was greatly delighted to read this :—

“‘The ladies especially showed a surprising knowledge and appreciation of the
manceuvres/performed. Should our brave defenders ever be called upon to protect
our homes and altars, regiments such as those now at Chobham will not, despite the
Peace Society, want Daughters—though in these piping times they have none.’ ”

As to the last part, if one could hope to equal that dear divine Jenny
Lind in La Figlia, one would almost not mind wearing the odious
costume, though of all the ungraceful—but what do you boys know
about such things ? I want to assure you that the first part of the
story is quite true, and shows that the clever gentleman who wrote it
sets more value on the opinion of young ladies than some young gentle-
men do whom I could name, but. will not. Now, as an account of what
we saw must be useful to you in your studies (though you are only in
the Civil Service;, I will tell yon a little about it, and Papa says you
are to send him a comparison between the battle of Cannse (is that
spelt right ?) and the battle of Curley.

We got a capital place for seeing, and we had not ueen on the
ground many minutes before some one blew a horn, and out ran numbers
of those large green beetles of Riflemen, and began to pretend to
skirmish; but, as there was nobody to face tbem, they looked great
sillies But presently there was a heavy tramping, aiid on came the
Guards, looking perfectly splendid, and ran up a bill. But I should
tell you that on the top of this hill were some Sappers and Miners (it
seemed an odd place to put them), and some soldiers with short guns

A ■ tlie GuUds dad ?one a little waY UP the kill, the others let
oft their guns at them. Then the Guards pretended they could not
advance any higher, so the great cannons were set roaring oft, and I
thought L should never get the throbbing out of rny ears Well I

suppose this encouraged the Guards, for they made another rush; and,
at the same time, the Household Troops and the Light Dragoons went
galloping and tearing in the same direction, and looking as it' they
could ride over everything in the world. However, they didn’t, for it
seems that it was necessary to fire more cannons, only this time it was
the Horse Artillery. After this there was great confusion, and I do
not believe that anybody knew what he was to do ; however, they ail
got upon the hill, and their swords and helmets sparkled beautifully in
the sunshine. Lastly, those Highlanders, with the legs, made a long
line, and then gave way for the others to come through it, like the
opening figure in the Eirst Set, and the green beetles began popping
again, and the cannons were let off once more. Then they all went off
the ground, and we had a dreadful to-do with a gipsy baby, which
Julia had foolishly taken to hold; and the mother went away, leaving
the brown little creature with us, and could not be found until long
after we were ready to go. James said that if we left it on the grass
it would be all safe; but this we would not hear of. The poor child
would have been the better for the tub you used to hate so a few
years ago when Mr. Henry was only Master.

“Now, you are to say whether this was like the battle of Canute—I
don’tmean as to the baby, of course. And, if you will take my opinion,
the evolutions were all nonsense. I do not see the use of cannon at all,
and I am quite certain that, if the Guards rushed at an enemy as they
ran up that hill at first, the enemy would ran away at once.
Also I think the cavalry and the infantry ought to be mixed
up together, because then the soldiers on horseback could protect
the others, and change with them when the poor men on foot
were tired. Besides those dear horses never kick, so it would be
quite safe; a soldier told me that, as I was giving his lovely black horse
a sponge cake which he eat out. of my hand. I think that if you gave
tliis idea to the masters at your school—College, I mean—you would be
thought very clever. But decidedly I do not like the cannons, and I am
certain they are of no use.

“ You are to write directly to say that the cheque is all safe, and every-
body unites in love. Pan’s guinea-pig is dead. Baby has had the
measles, like the Prince oe YVales. Can you polk better than you
did ? W hat is good for my canary while it is moulting ? Do not
forget about Canute, and if I have spelt it wrong take no notice to

haha' “ Your ever affectionate sister,

“ Caroline Bertha Louisa.

“P.S. Your flirt, Marion Waters, is going to be married. Elee,
bee, hee !! ! ”

Unpublished Anecdote.

Ialleyrand, talking ol a man, who dealt in nothing but quota-
tions, said, “ That fellow has a mind of inverted commas.”