DOI issue:
July to December, 1853
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16612#0061
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
49
ner hands rather promiscuous, and was just fit for his finger. The I
horrible clamour which the energetic matron made, on being put forth
from the meeting, tended to bring matters to a conclusion. Other
speeches were delivered, in which the Hebrew gentlemen expressed
their sincere desire to improve the condition of their humbler brethren
but the latter did not seem very grateful, or much inclined to co-ope-
rate^ A resolution of thanks to Punch, and of hope that he would
continue his exertions for and among the Jews was carried and the
meeting was broken up.
A WASTE OF SYMPATHY.
UNCH has seen that much
generous sympathy has been
excited for an unfortunate
Cab-driver, “said” to have
been sent to prison for a
month for the offence of not
having five shillings in his
pocket. One story is good
till another is told; but un-
fortunately the police re-
porters _ tell so many stories,
that it is almost impossible to
keep pace with them. After
several columns of indigna-
tion—more or less virtuous;
after the expenditure of a
rivulet of ink, having more
than the usual quantity of
gall in it; and after a little
energetic questioning in the
House of Commons, the plain
truth comes out that the Cab-
driver never said a word about
“not having five shillings,”
and consequently was not sent
to prison at all tor his poverty,
but because he was convicted
of an overcharge, and because
he declined the test of actual
measurement which was off-
ered to him.
We make every allowance
for a reporter whose province
it may be to exaggerate goose-
berries, and give undue enor-
mity to cauliflowers for para-
graphical purposes, but it is
rather too hard of him to in-
dulge his imagination and
allow it to run riot in getting
up a monstrous case of
magisterial oppression. The affair has, perhaps, answered its pur-
pose, for it has given gigantic dimensions to a police report and
made that productive of half-a-crown which would, if kept within the
commonplace limits of fact, have yielded scarcely a shilling; it has given
an opportunity to “ able editors ” to write admirable leading articles
—admirable m every respect but the foundation, which has unfortu-
nately given way; and it has permitted vigilant Members of Parlia-
ment to show their vigilance, by asking the Home Secretary what he
is about, and why he doesn’t reverse a few magisterial decisions
every now and then, by way of keeping up the “ independence ” of
the Bench and showing that he is not asleep in his office. So far as
any good may result from these things, the fictitious report of the Cab
case has answered its purpose; but the only real advantage we can
see in it has been gained by the Cabman, for whom subscriptions have
poured in which have enabled him to pay his fine, and perhaps leave
him a handsome balance for future penalties. Whilst we firmly
oppose the Cabman in all his delinquencies—and they are not a few—
let him only come forward with a real wrong, and he shall have all the
benefit of Punch's avenging baton.
Well off for Soap.
In consequence of the reduction of the Soap Duties, an eccentric
gentleman, who likes a smooth shaven lawn, has the lawn in front of
nis house lathered in order to be shaved.
MARTIN IN JACK’S GOWN; OR, MAWWORM
WELL ACTED.
Thebe is no kind of man more delightful to meet with than a good
clergyman who is also a good fellow, and, moreover,—within canonical
and decent limits—a wag. Now, here is one such singularly pleasant
parson, writing, as a correspondent of the Times, thus :—
“ Sir,—My attention has just been directed to an Advertisement in the Times of the
11th instant, inserted by the Great Western Railway Company, announcing au
excursion train for Sunday, the 17th instant, to Oxford, Banbury, Leamington,
Warwick, and concluding by saying, that ‘the Warwick station is only a short
distance from the romantic ruins of Kenilworth Castle.’
“ This last sentence is probably only sdded as a bait to catch excursionists. It is
well, therefore, that such and the public in general should know that—thanks to its
excellent proprietor, the Earl of Clarendon—‘ the romantic ruins of Kenilworth
Castle ’ are not open to visitors on the Sabbath—an arrangement, 1 may add,
which has added much to the morality and proper observance of the Lord’s Day in
our parish.
“ I remain, your obedient Servant,
“Edward R. Eardley Wit mot,
“ Vicarage, Kenilworth, July 18. Vicar of Kenilworth.”
This is no judaising Puritan, this Mb. Wilmot. This is no semi-
Christian pharisee, substituting for the broad phylactery the extensive
white choker highly starched; no fanatical sort of hybrid or mule,
taking most after donkey. No ; our Reverend gentleman is a genial,
kindly priest, with a turn for playful irony—in the spirit whereof he
writes to the Times. He knows well enough—bless him!—that the
liberal Earl oe Clarendon would never have shut up “ Kenilworth
Castle ” against the busy people, on the only day when there would be
any use in opening it to them. He, to be sure, is aware that the un-
gracious deed has been perpetrated by some underling; some sancti-
monious Babebones of a steward, or some methodistical old house-
keeper, to whom the “ bitter observance of the Sabbath ” is sweeter
than fees. Indeed, his use of the Jewish word Sabbath, in this con-
nexion, for the day which he calls below by its Christian name, allows
his real feeling as regards the matter to transpire. In feigning to
thank the excellent Earl oe Clarendon for a miserable act of bigotry,
he takes a funny way of letting the noble Earl know what a sectarian
ass some one of his servants has been making himself in the name, and
at the expense, of the reputation of his Lordship.
The conclusion of our Reverend humourist’s epistle is capital. No
doubt such an arrangement as that of shutting up “ a romantic ruin,”
a scene of picturesque and venerable. beauty, replete with historical
associations of famous memory, suggestive of lofty and solemn thought:
no doubt the arrangement of closing such an objectionable place as this
on the Sunday, must have “ added much to the morality and proper
observance” of that day in the parish, by tending considerably to
increase the congregation at—the public-house.
LOVE SUIT AND LAWSUIT.
Promise of marriage is like precious China—a man has so much to
nay for its breakage.
THE JOLLY OLD WATERMAN.
And did you ne’er hear of a jolly old Waterman
Who at the cabstand used for to ply ?
He feathered his nest with the passenger’s halfpennies,
Smoking his pipe, with a drop in each eye.
He looked so drunk—yet stood so steadily.
The drivers all flocked to his stand so readily;
And he eyed the old rogues with so knowing an air,
Eor this Waterman knew they would cheat every fare.
What sights of gents drunk and incapable, very,
He’d clean out so nice, and politely withal.
As he called the first cab, when the finely-dressed victims
Came staggering out from Cremorne or Vauxhall.
And oftentimes would they be quizzing and queering.
And ’twas all one to Tom, all this chaffing and jeering :
Eor laughing or chaffing he little did care,
Eor this Waterman wished but to rifle the fare.
And yet but to see how strangely things happen.
As he jogged along, thinking of nothing at all.
He was caught by a Cab Act so awfully stringent,
That it caused all Ihe tricks of the cab-s' and to fail.
But would this old Waterman feel proper sorrow,
For all his old tricks, and turn honest to-morrow ;
And should this old Waterman act with more care,
He ’ll be licensed, and never impose on a fare.
The American Cupid.
A young lady calls Mr. Hobbs, Cupid, because Cupid is Lov&
and Love, as the proverb says, laughs at locksmiths, and so doe*
Mr. Hobbs. __
A Cabman’s Idea oe a Fare.—A cheaue on a Banker
49
ner hands rather promiscuous, and was just fit for his finger. The I
horrible clamour which the energetic matron made, on being put forth
from the meeting, tended to bring matters to a conclusion. Other
speeches were delivered, in which the Hebrew gentlemen expressed
their sincere desire to improve the condition of their humbler brethren
but the latter did not seem very grateful, or much inclined to co-ope-
rate^ A resolution of thanks to Punch, and of hope that he would
continue his exertions for and among the Jews was carried and the
meeting was broken up.
A WASTE OF SYMPATHY.
UNCH has seen that much
generous sympathy has been
excited for an unfortunate
Cab-driver, “said” to have
been sent to prison for a
month for the offence of not
having five shillings in his
pocket. One story is good
till another is told; but un-
fortunately the police re-
porters _ tell so many stories,
that it is almost impossible to
keep pace with them. After
several columns of indigna-
tion—more or less virtuous;
after the expenditure of a
rivulet of ink, having more
than the usual quantity of
gall in it; and after a little
energetic questioning in the
House of Commons, the plain
truth comes out that the Cab-
driver never said a word about
“not having five shillings,”
and consequently was not sent
to prison at all tor his poverty,
but because he was convicted
of an overcharge, and because
he declined the test of actual
measurement which was off-
ered to him.
We make every allowance
for a reporter whose province
it may be to exaggerate goose-
berries, and give undue enor-
mity to cauliflowers for para-
graphical purposes, but it is
rather too hard of him to in-
dulge his imagination and
allow it to run riot in getting
up a monstrous case of
magisterial oppression. The affair has, perhaps, answered its pur-
pose, for it has given gigantic dimensions to a police report and
made that productive of half-a-crown which would, if kept within the
commonplace limits of fact, have yielded scarcely a shilling; it has given
an opportunity to “ able editors ” to write admirable leading articles
—admirable m every respect but the foundation, which has unfortu-
nately given way; and it has permitted vigilant Members of Parlia-
ment to show their vigilance, by asking the Home Secretary what he
is about, and why he doesn’t reverse a few magisterial decisions
every now and then, by way of keeping up the “ independence ” of
the Bench and showing that he is not asleep in his office. So far as
any good may result from these things, the fictitious report of the Cab
case has answered its purpose; but the only real advantage we can
see in it has been gained by the Cabman, for whom subscriptions have
poured in which have enabled him to pay his fine, and perhaps leave
him a handsome balance for future penalties. Whilst we firmly
oppose the Cabman in all his delinquencies—and they are not a few—
let him only come forward with a real wrong, and he shall have all the
benefit of Punch's avenging baton.
Well off for Soap.
In consequence of the reduction of the Soap Duties, an eccentric
gentleman, who likes a smooth shaven lawn, has the lawn in front of
nis house lathered in order to be shaved.
MARTIN IN JACK’S GOWN; OR, MAWWORM
WELL ACTED.
Thebe is no kind of man more delightful to meet with than a good
clergyman who is also a good fellow, and, moreover,—within canonical
and decent limits—a wag. Now, here is one such singularly pleasant
parson, writing, as a correspondent of the Times, thus :—
“ Sir,—My attention has just been directed to an Advertisement in the Times of the
11th instant, inserted by the Great Western Railway Company, announcing au
excursion train for Sunday, the 17th instant, to Oxford, Banbury, Leamington,
Warwick, and concluding by saying, that ‘the Warwick station is only a short
distance from the romantic ruins of Kenilworth Castle.’
“ This last sentence is probably only sdded as a bait to catch excursionists. It is
well, therefore, that such and the public in general should know that—thanks to its
excellent proprietor, the Earl of Clarendon—‘ the romantic ruins of Kenilworth
Castle ’ are not open to visitors on the Sabbath—an arrangement, 1 may add,
which has added much to the morality and proper observance of the Lord’s Day in
our parish.
“ I remain, your obedient Servant,
“Edward R. Eardley Wit mot,
“ Vicarage, Kenilworth, July 18. Vicar of Kenilworth.”
This is no judaising Puritan, this Mb. Wilmot. This is no semi-
Christian pharisee, substituting for the broad phylactery the extensive
white choker highly starched; no fanatical sort of hybrid or mule,
taking most after donkey. No ; our Reverend gentleman is a genial,
kindly priest, with a turn for playful irony—in the spirit whereof he
writes to the Times. He knows well enough—bless him!—that the
liberal Earl oe Clarendon would never have shut up “ Kenilworth
Castle ” against the busy people, on the only day when there would be
any use in opening it to them. He, to be sure, is aware that the un-
gracious deed has been perpetrated by some underling; some sancti-
monious Babebones of a steward, or some methodistical old house-
keeper, to whom the “ bitter observance of the Sabbath ” is sweeter
than fees. Indeed, his use of the Jewish word Sabbath, in this con-
nexion, for the day which he calls below by its Christian name, allows
his real feeling as regards the matter to transpire. In feigning to
thank the excellent Earl oe Clarendon for a miserable act of bigotry,
he takes a funny way of letting the noble Earl know what a sectarian
ass some one of his servants has been making himself in the name, and
at the expense, of the reputation of his Lordship.
The conclusion of our Reverend humourist’s epistle is capital. No
doubt such an arrangement as that of shutting up “ a romantic ruin,”
a scene of picturesque and venerable. beauty, replete with historical
associations of famous memory, suggestive of lofty and solemn thought:
no doubt the arrangement of closing such an objectionable place as this
on the Sunday, must have “ added much to the morality and proper
observance” of that day in the parish, by tending considerably to
increase the congregation at—the public-house.
LOVE SUIT AND LAWSUIT.
Promise of marriage is like precious China—a man has so much to
nay for its breakage.
THE JOLLY OLD WATERMAN.
And did you ne’er hear of a jolly old Waterman
Who at the cabstand used for to ply ?
He feathered his nest with the passenger’s halfpennies,
Smoking his pipe, with a drop in each eye.
He looked so drunk—yet stood so steadily.
The drivers all flocked to his stand so readily;
And he eyed the old rogues with so knowing an air,
Eor this Waterman knew they would cheat every fare.
What sights of gents drunk and incapable, very,
He’d clean out so nice, and politely withal.
As he called the first cab, when the finely-dressed victims
Came staggering out from Cremorne or Vauxhall.
And oftentimes would they be quizzing and queering.
And ’twas all one to Tom, all this chaffing and jeering :
Eor laughing or chaffing he little did care,
Eor this Waterman wished but to rifle the fare.
And yet but to see how strangely things happen.
As he jogged along, thinking of nothing at all.
He was caught by a Cab Act so awfully stringent,
That it caused all Ihe tricks of the cab-s' and to fail.
But would this old Waterman feel proper sorrow,
For all his old tricks, and turn honest to-morrow ;
And should this old Waterman act with more care,
He ’ll be licensed, and never impose on a fare.
The American Cupid.
A young lady calls Mr. Hobbs, Cupid, because Cupid is Lov&
and Love, as the proverb says, laughs at locksmiths, and so doe*
Mr. Hobbs. __
A Cabman’s Idea oe a Fare.—A cheaue on a Banker