DOI issue:
July to December, 1853
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16612#0071
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
59
And where cross-roads met, and where the best adventures once had
been,
Whitewashed sign-posts bade him turn to Erogmore Pound, or Pogis
Green.
I\ ow and then athwart his course came, with a rumble and a scream,
Green and golden creatures, glaring fierce, and breathing fire and
steam,
Seemed that each wa& dragging on a thousand victims at the least:
“ By my knighthood,” quoth Sin Lancelot, “ this must be ‘ the
questing beast; ’
Something rusty have I grown by dwelling there at peace so long,
For ever eating of the fat, and ever drinking of the strong.
Yet until stout and knightly valour I shall dress me to the fight; ”
But, before his lance was couched, “the questing beast” was out of
sight.
So he journeyed till, one evening, from the hill-top looking down—
As the setting sun in gold and crimson bathed the mighty toivn—
All the spires, and masts, and towers (that seemed as they had lent
the skies
Gauds from London’s wealth to deck them) flashed upon his wond’ring
eyes.
“ This adventure,” said Sin Lancelot, “I may scarcely understand,”
So he wisely brought his good sword closer to his strong right hand.
To “ Linette the damsel Sauvage,” who abode on Ludgate Hill,
He arrived at length by dint of wondrous toil and care and skill;
In a four-pair back she dwelt, and it was noted on her door,
That she held “ mesmeriques seances ” every afternoon at four.
Seemed that she was greatly altered from the blooming girl who
brought
Fair Dame Lvovs and Sin Gareth home to Royal Arthur’s Court—
She whose witchcraft (witch they called her) in her beauty seemed to lie;
Red, but not with bloom, her cheek was ; bright, but not with health,
her eye,
And her mouth, whose slightest smile had won the hearts of Arthur’s
train.
By its pale thin lips’ quick tremor half confessed the inward pain.
Much she laughed, when Lancelot told her what had brought him
to her door.
And how Arthur’s famous knights had sprawled upon the sandy floor
“ Though,” said she, “my quick clairvoyant spirit saw the merry scene,
And I heard you ask each other what the mystic raps might mean;
So I cast a glamour round you, that your dazzled eyes might see
All the glories of the future, and the wonders that shall be.
Ask not why the table moved or what the mystic raps may be ;
Marvels, such as these, we Media can’t explain without a fee;
But be sure, these things that fright thee in the future shall not fail
To avenge thee on the men who ’ll deem thy fame an idle tale.
Though the men of future ages you and yours shall despise,
They shall not be wholly prescient, and not altogether wise;
Some defect, to prove them human, shall their brightest plans deface ;
Follies worthy of the weakest, shall the wisest age disgrace;
And as if some superstition still the human brain must bother,
They shall but shake off one folly to be taken with another.
So that those, who all the tales of Arthur as mere lies reprove.
Shall believe his great round table by his knights’ mere will could move.”
As she spoke the glamour faded, and Sir Lancelot saw the moor
And the woodland stretching out for many a league his road before ;
Many a sign of knoll and headland marked an old familiar spot,
So, upon the vision musing, bac.c he rode to Camelot.
FRIENDS OF CABMANITY.
Sir Robert Inglis,
Lord Dudley Stuart,
and Mr Bonham Car-
ter are to be congratu-
lated on the highly re-
spectable lifehold resi-
dence which, it appears,
they have acquired. They
are to dwell, conjointly,
in the hearts of the cab-
owners, where, let us
hope, they will not quar-
rel : especially as Mr.
E ) Bright is to be their
fellow-tenant. On Wed-
nesday evening last, at a
meeting of that worthy
proprietary, convened for
the purpose of asserting
the principle of extortion
against the Legislature,
a man named Beadle,
j who proposed a shilling
a mile fares, is reported
to have said :—
“ The gentlemen who sat
at the Cranbourn Hotel had
endeavoured to show the Go-
vernment that they could not
live under the law, but they
had met few friends in the
House, except Sir R. Inglis,
Lord D. Stuart, and Mr.
Bonham Carter, whose
names, he hoped, would never
be effaced from their memories.
(Ghters, and cries oj ‘Mr.
Bright.’) Yes, Mr. Bright
had spoken for them, but he
had only met sneers and j<xvs
from those very men who now
said that changes must be
made in tbe bill before they
came to work it.”
Some people value any kind of popularity. Mr. Bright may exult in the
shouts of the least respectable Manchester people. Lord Dudley Stuart may
like to be cheered by the baser sort of Marylebonians. Mr. Bonham Carter
may rejoice in the huzzas of the lowest classes of the population at Winchester.
Sir Robert Inglis may be elated with the applause of the inferior portion of the
inhabitants of Ratcliff Highway. If they do, they will be proud of the position they
occupy in the good graces of the proprietors of dirty cabs, miserable horses, and
abusive, rapacious fellows.
It must be rather flattering to Church Dignitaries to observe what company
they are in, as eulogists and admirers of the Honourable Member for Oxford.
The fact itself is not wonderful; for cab fares as they
were, and episcopal incomes as they are, are things not
very dissimilar, except in having been eightpence a mile on
the one hand, and being from five to twenty thousand
pounds per annum aud upwards on the other.
RECOVERY FROM THE CABMEN’S STRIKE.
: Sir,
{To the Editor of “ Punch.”)
" Permit me to relate the particulars of my
wonderful recovery of the use of my limbs, and consequent
restoration to health. I was afraid the strike of the
Cabmen yesterday would have been a great blow to me.
1 found that I bad to walk three miles to my office.
Sir, I expected that exertion to be _my death. I have
been for years a sufferer from indigestion, occasioning an
unpleasant emptiness before meals, and an oppressive
fulness afterwards, and attended by headache, giddiness,
dimness of sight, shortness of breath, and other premonitory
symptoms of apoplexy. I have been bled and cupped, and
have taken all sorts of medicine; made my stomach a
regular doctor’s shop, and not only that but a College
of Vegetable Pills and a Holloway’s Depot. Under these
circumstances, I should never have dreamt of walking
three miles, if I had not been obliged to do it. I did it,
though. It exhausted me a little. It threw me into a
perspiration. But, sir, it gave me an appetite for my
dimier such as I had not experienced for years. I ate and
drank heartily; I had not enjoyed anything so much
since I don’t know when; and after an unusually ample
indulgence in the pleasures of the table, I sunk into a
reireshing slumber, which I understand was unaccom-
panied by stertorous breathing. Sir, I shall continue to
walk to my office—whereby I shall invigorate my frame,
improve my appetite, save Cab-liire certainly, avoid liability
to extortion and insolence, and lose some of the weight
without any of the importance of
“ A Citizen.”
“ Hermitage, Clapham, July 28, 1853.
movements in (celestial) high life.
We are informed, by our fashionable reporter, that a
suite of apartments on the first floor have just been bespoken
at Mivart’s Hotel for the Emperor op China.
The Dissatisfied Creatures !—Cabmen should not
complain of being paid at the rate of sixpence a mile; tor,
look at some of our best Panoramas, they only charge a
Shilling—and they are generally “ three miles long.”
t
59
And where cross-roads met, and where the best adventures once had
been,
Whitewashed sign-posts bade him turn to Erogmore Pound, or Pogis
Green.
I\ ow and then athwart his course came, with a rumble and a scream,
Green and golden creatures, glaring fierce, and breathing fire and
steam,
Seemed that each wa& dragging on a thousand victims at the least:
“ By my knighthood,” quoth Sin Lancelot, “ this must be ‘ the
questing beast; ’
Something rusty have I grown by dwelling there at peace so long,
For ever eating of the fat, and ever drinking of the strong.
Yet until stout and knightly valour I shall dress me to the fight; ”
But, before his lance was couched, “the questing beast” was out of
sight.
So he journeyed till, one evening, from the hill-top looking down—
As the setting sun in gold and crimson bathed the mighty toivn—
All the spires, and masts, and towers (that seemed as they had lent
the skies
Gauds from London’s wealth to deck them) flashed upon his wond’ring
eyes.
“ This adventure,” said Sin Lancelot, “I may scarcely understand,”
So he wisely brought his good sword closer to his strong right hand.
To “ Linette the damsel Sauvage,” who abode on Ludgate Hill,
He arrived at length by dint of wondrous toil and care and skill;
In a four-pair back she dwelt, and it was noted on her door,
That she held “ mesmeriques seances ” every afternoon at four.
Seemed that she was greatly altered from the blooming girl who
brought
Fair Dame Lvovs and Sin Gareth home to Royal Arthur’s Court—
She whose witchcraft (witch they called her) in her beauty seemed to lie;
Red, but not with bloom, her cheek was ; bright, but not with health,
her eye,
And her mouth, whose slightest smile had won the hearts of Arthur’s
train.
By its pale thin lips’ quick tremor half confessed the inward pain.
Much she laughed, when Lancelot told her what had brought him
to her door.
And how Arthur’s famous knights had sprawled upon the sandy floor
“ Though,” said she, “my quick clairvoyant spirit saw the merry scene,
And I heard you ask each other what the mystic raps might mean;
So I cast a glamour round you, that your dazzled eyes might see
All the glories of the future, and the wonders that shall be.
Ask not why the table moved or what the mystic raps may be ;
Marvels, such as these, we Media can’t explain without a fee;
But be sure, these things that fright thee in the future shall not fail
To avenge thee on the men who ’ll deem thy fame an idle tale.
Though the men of future ages you and yours shall despise,
They shall not be wholly prescient, and not altogether wise;
Some defect, to prove them human, shall their brightest plans deface ;
Follies worthy of the weakest, shall the wisest age disgrace;
And as if some superstition still the human brain must bother,
They shall but shake off one folly to be taken with another.
So that those, who all the tales of Arthur as mere lies reprove.
Shall believe his great round table by his knights’ mere will could move.”
As she spoke the glamour faded, and Sir Lancelot saw the moor
And the woodland stretching out for many a league his road before ;
Many a sign of knoll and headland marked an old familiar spot,
So, upon the vision musing, bac.c he rode to Camelot.
FRIENDS OF CABMANITY.
Sir Robert Inglis,
Lord Dudley Stuart,
and Mr Bonham Car-
ter are to be congratu-
lated on the highly re-
spectable lifehold resi-
dence which, it appears,
they have acquired. They
are to dwell, conjointly,
in the hearts of the cab-
owners, where, let us
hope, they will not quar-
rel : especially as Mr.
E ) Bright is to be their
fellow-tenant. On Wed-
nesday evening last, at a
meeting of that worthy
proprietary, convened for
the purpose of asserting
the principle of extortion
against the Legislature,
a man named Beadle,
j who proposed a shilling
a mile fares, is reported
to have said :—
“ The gentlemen who sat
at the Cranbourn Hotel had
endeavoured to show the Go-
vernment that they could not
live under the law, but they
had met few friends in the
House, except Sir R. Inglis,
Lord D. Stuart, and Mr.
Bonham Carter, whose
names, he hoped, would never
be effaced from their memories.
(Ghters, and cries oj ‘Mr.
Bright.’) Yes, Mr. Bright
had spoken for them, but he
had only met sneers and j<xvs
from those very men who now
said that changes must be
made in tbe bill before they
came to work it.”
Some people value any kind of popularity. Mr. Bright may exult in the
shouts of the least respectable Manchester people. Lord Dudley Stuart may
like to be cheered by the baser sort of Marylebonians. Mr. Bonham Carter
may rejoice in the huzzas of the lowest classes of the population at Winchester.
Sir Robert Inglis may be elated with the applause of the inferior portion of the
inhabitants of Ratcliff Highway. If they do, they will be proud of the position they
occupy in the good graces of the proprietors of dirty cabs, miserable horses, and
abusive, rapacious fellows.
It must be rather flattering to Church Dignitaries to observe what company
they are in, as eulogists and admirers of the Honourable Member for Oxford.
The fact itself is not wonderful; for cab fares as they
were, and episcopal incomes as they are, are things not
very dissimilar, except in having been eightpence a mile on
the one hand, and being from five to twenty thousand
pounds per annum aud upwards on the other.
RECOVERY FROM THE CABMEN’S STRIKE.
: Sir,
{To the Editor of “ Punch.”)
" Permit me to relate the particulars of my
wonderful recovery of the use of my limbs, and consequent
restoration to health. I was afraid the strike of the
Cabmen yesterday would have been a great blow to me.
1 found that I bad to walk three miles to my office.
Sir, I expected that exertion to be _my death. I have
been for years a sufferer from indigestion, occasioning an
unpleasant emptiness before meals, and an oppressive
fulness afterwards, and attended by headache, giddiness,
dimness of sight, shortness of breath, and other premonitory
symptoms of apoplexy. I have been bled and cupped, and
have taken all sorts of medicine; made my stomach a
regular doctor’s shop, and not only that but a College
of Vegetable Pills and a Holloway’s Depot. Under these
circumstances, I should never have dreamt of walking
three miles, if I had not been obliged to do it. I did it,
though. It exhausted me a little. It threw me into a
perspiration. But, sir, it gave me an appetite for my
dimier such as I had not experienced for years. I ate and
drank heartily; I had not enjoyed anything so much
since I don’t know when; and after an unusually ample
indulgence in the pleasures of the table, I sunk into a
reireshing slumber, which I understand was unaccom-
panied by stertorous breathing. Sir, I shall continue to
walk to my office—whereby I shall invigorate my frame,
improve my appetite, save Cab-liire certainly, avoid liability
to extortion and insolence, and lose some of the weight
without any of the importance of
“ A Citizen.”
“ Hermitage, Clapham, July 28, 1853.
movements in (celestial) high life.
We are informed, by our fashionable reporter, that a
suite of apartments on the first floor have just been bespoken
at Mivart’s Hotel for the Emperor op China.
The Dissatisfied Creatures !—Cabmen should not
complain of being paid at the rate of sixpence a mile; tor,
look at some of our best Panoramas, they only charge a
Shilling—and they are generally “ three miles long.”
t