DOI issue:
July to December, 1853
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16612#0076
64
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
I
CRUEL.
“Remember the Steward, Sir, ie you Please.”
THE RETURN TO DUTY.
BY A VERY MILD CABMAN.
Recalcitration, William, cease,
James, we ’ll return to work in peace •
Alas 1 the straggle to prolong
Were useless—would be, therefore, wrong
The Legislature and the Press,
Whom Heaven.—although they’ ve wronged us—bless t j
Have triumphed by superior force:
Submission now should be our course,
I
And though defeated, after all.
Our loss, in fact, will be but small;
A slight reduction of our fare,
Which our proprietors will bear.
Employment will increase, besides ;
Our friends will take more frequent rides,
And that will amply compensate
Por payment at a lower rate.
Whilst o’er our tongue respect presides,
And courtesy our manner guides,
Of temperance let us own the sway.
And that of cleanliness obey.
Of insult or extortion, none
In terror, then, our cabs will shun;
Perhaps ev’n ladies then will dare
To constitute themselves our fare.
And oh, divesting our pursuit
Of altercation and dispute,
How much more pleasantly shall we
Discuss our toast, and sip our tea !
All the Difference.
However much the Whigs may be found fault with for
their acts of omission, they are perfectly clear about then-
acts of Commission, for we believe it is indisputable that
they have passed more acts that have saddled the country
with Commissions than any other Government.
THE TAILOR ASSASSIN.
An unhappy Erench tailor has been charged, on the evidence of our
old friend 4 oinville, with a conspiracy to assassinate our old enemy
Louis Napoleon. The “conspiracy” looks very like an attempt on
our gracious Queen, for the unhappy wretch of a tailor wanted Her
Majesty’s head on twenty pieces of gold coin, and his design was
directed far more upon English sovereigns than upon Erench
) Napoleons. Twenty pounds was the price to be charged by the
i French tailor for making his country free and happy; but, considering
that the trade of patriotism is rather at a low ebb just now, we cannot
help thinking that the unfortunate humbug placed his services at too
high a figure.
Whether the accused really contemplated the murder of Louis
Napoleon is doubtful, though Mr. Bodkin was engaged to argue that
the tailor designed the quietus of the Emperor with, perhaps, “a bare
Bodkin,” which, being the instrument of his trade, might have been
the intended instrument of his iniquity. Our private opinion of the
matter is that the Erench vagabond, instead of wishing to shed the
blood of the present ruler of France, was anxious only to make the
Prince de Joinville “bleed” to the tune of twenty sovereigns.
Instead ol elevating the scamp into a political conspirator, it would be
better to treat him at once as a swindler and a would-be obtainer of
money under false pretences. There is no greater “ mistake ” than to
assign political motives to a merely mercenary act, and to arraign as a
monster, who would have murdered an Emperor, a poor insignificant
adventurer who, though utterly hopeless of a “ clean shirt,” may have
aspired to the chance of “a guinea.”
The Maims of Money.
You scarcely ever receive change for a sovereign without finding
that one of the shillings or sixpences has had a hole drilled through
it, which—suggesting a painful doubt as to the exchangeable value of
the coin—is altogether a bore. We are glad that Mn. Wilson has
got leave to bring in a bill to prevent the defacing of the Queen’s
money; and we hope this measure will have the effect of remedying
one of the greatest evils of change.
Mr. Public supplicates the Cabman to return to his Stand, to
charge a Shilling a Mile, and all shall be forgotten !
\_A Pictv/re seen only “in the mind’s eye” of Cabby..
Sunday among the Sewers.—The Sabbatarians, want to have
nothing stirring on Sunday but stagnation; which. is not only not
conducive to health, hut also tends to engender zymotic diseases.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
I
CRUEL.
“Remember the Steward, Sir, ie you Please.”
THE RETURN TO DUTY.
BY A VERY MILD CABMAN.
Recalcitration, William, cease,
James, we ’ll return to work in peace •
Alas 1 the straggle to prolong
Were useless—would be, therefore, wrong
The Legislature and the Press,
Whom Heaven.—although they’ ve wronged us—bless t j
Have triumphed by superior force:
Submission now should be our course,
I
And though defeated, after all.
Our loss, in fact, will be but small;
A slight reduction of our fare,
Which our proprietors will bear.
Employment will increase, besides ;
Our friends will take more frequent rides,
And that will amply compensate
Por payment at a lower rate.
Whilst o’er our tongue respect presides,
And courtesy our manner guides,
Of temperance let us own the sway.
And that of cleanliness obey.
Of insult or extortion, none
In terror, then, our cabs will shun;
Perhaps ev’n ladies then will dare
To constitute themselves our fare.
And oh, divesting our pursuit
Of altercation and dispute,
How much more pleasantly shall we
Discuss our toast, and sip our tea !
All the Difference.
However much the Whigs may be found fault with for
their acts of omission, they are perfectly clear about then-
acts of Commission, for we believe it is indisputable that
they have passed more acts that have saddled the country
with Commissions than any other Government.
THE TAILOR ASSASSIN.
An unhappy Erench tailor has been charged, on the evidence of our
old friend 4 oinville, with a conspiracy to assassinate our old enemy
Louis Napoleon. The “conspiracy” looks very like an attempt on
our gracious Queen, for the unhappy wretch of a tailor wanted Her
Majesty’s head on twenty pieces of gold coin, and his design was
directed far more upon English sovereigns than upon Erench
) Napoleons. Twenty pounds was the price to be charged by the
i French tailor for making his country free and happy; but, considering
that the trade of patriotism is rather at a low ebb just now, we cannot
help thinking that the unfortunate humbug placed his services at too
high a figure.
Whether the accused really contemplated the murder of Louis
Napoleon is doubtful, though Mr. Bodkin was engaged to argue that
the tailor designed the quietus of the Emperor with, perhaps, “a bare
Bodkin,” which, being the instrument of his trade, might have been
the intended instrument of his iniquity. Our private opinion of the
matter is that the Erench vagabond, instead of wishing to shed the
blood of the present ruler of France, was anxious only to make the
Prince de Joinville “bleed” to the tune of twenty sovereigns.
Instead ol elevating the scamp into a political conspirator, it would be
better to treat him at once as a swindler and a would-be obtainer of
money under false pretences. There is no greater “ mistake ” than to
assign political motives to a merely mercenary act, and to arraign as a
monster, who would have murdered an Emperor, a poor insignificant
adventurer who, though utterly hopeless of a “ clean shirt,” may have
aspired to the chance of “a guinea.”
The Maims of Money.
You scarcely ever receive change for a sovereign without finding
that one of the shillings or sixpences has had a hole drilled through
it, which—suggesting a painful doubt as to the exchangeable value of
the coin—is altogether a bore. We are glad that Mn. Wilson has
got leave to bring in a bill to prevent the defacing of the Queen’s
money; and we hope this measure will have the effect of remedying
one of the greatest evils of change.
Mr. Public supplicates the Cabman to return to his Stand, to
charge a Shilling a Mile, and all shall be forgotten !
\_A Pictv/re seen only “in the mind’s eye” of Cabby..
Sunday among the Sewers.—The Sabbatarians, want to have
nothing stirring on Sunday but stagnation; which. is not only not
conducive to health, hut also tends to engender zymotic diseases.