Punch (25.1853)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.


MR. AERY BELVILLE, ON THE CONTINENT GENERALLY.

'Arry BdviUe. “Yes! I like it extremely. I like the Lazy ally sort of
FEELING. I LIKE SITTING AT THE DOOR OF A Caffy TO SMOKE MY ClGAR ; AND
above all (outer noo) it’s a great comfort to wear one’s Beard without
bein’ larfed AT!”

| OPINIONS OF OUR CONTEMPORARIES.

“ The Steppes of Russia are long dreary tracts, ex-
tremely tedious and very difficult to get over, requiring the
greatest patience so as not to lose yourself in the midst of
their interminable flatness; and, on my word, the same
thing may be said of the diplomatic steps of the same
country.”—Aberdeen.

“ Meeting one’s constituents is sometimes as disagreeable
as meeting a bill; but still it must be done, for the form
of the thing, if it is only to save one’s political credit.”—
Disraeli.

“ The fault is not so much in bribing, as in being found
out.”— W. B.

“ The only balls Englaud should fight her battles with
should be balls of cotton; the only shot, shot-silks'”—
Bright.

“ There are two kinds of M. P.’s; those who confine
themselves to merely representing the people, and those
who think it their duty also to represent their wrongs and
grievances.”—Roebuck.

“ If I had my way I would very soon make the Russians
leave the Danubian provinces. I should say to them very
plainly, “ Sortez, Messieurs, voild la Porte ; ” and, if they
didn’t, I would soon make them.”—Palmerston.

“ I wouldn’t dine with a Custom House officer, not even
if he was to invite me, for I should be afraid he would
always stop the bottle and never pass the wine.”—A.
Oliveira.

“Dentists stop vacancies in teeth by filling them up
with gold, and really I know of no better plan for filling up
a vacancy in Parliament.”—Coppock.

“ What’s the use of my having a seat, if you will not
allow me to sit down upon it ? ”—Rothschild.

“ The Emperor Napoleon distinguished himself, it is
true, in taking a few capitals ; but let me ask what capital
can stand in the way of Louis Napoleon without his
immediately taking it ? Such an Emperor is worth a
fortune—aye, several fortunes—to France.”—Malmesbury.

“The fact of the House sitting till so late an hour iu
the morning may, perhaps, account for there being so lew
rising men in Parliament.”—Brotherton.

“Peace is the only commodity that, in a commercial
country like England, one can never pay too dearly for
but then you should purchase it always in the cheapest
market, and sell it in the dearest. But selling it is out of
the question, for it is my advice to keep the peace, and not
to sell it.”—Cob den.

SHORT AND SAPONACEOUS.

ome of Mr. Punch’s
contemporaries
have been circula-
ting, together with
other small change,
an account of a
plant, newly dis-
covered in Califor-
H nia by a Viennese.
y This plant, they
say, “ is about a
foot in height, and
fades away in May,
revealing to the
astonished botanist
a ball of natural
soap, contained
within its stalk,
and superior to the
best brown Wind-
sor.” They have
forgotten, how-
ever, to add some
particulars, which
Mr. Punch, iu
. his zeal for the

public ^ service, has taken pains to collect. He has ascertained that,
out of one hundred and twenty-nine persons who have read this
paragraph, thirty-two have observed, “ that thep roperties of the
plant are evidently soap-orific ; ” _ twenty-eight have opined “ that,
when Nature planled it in California she must have had an eye
to the gold-washing ; ” sixty have pronounced authoritatively,

“ that the discoverer of the plant ought at once to he made a
Companion of the Bath; ” eight have expressed their surprise “ that
it should have been discovered by a German, who could have had
but little previous knowledge of the article which it is _ said fo pro-
duce ; ” whilst the remaining person, an eminent boiler in the City,
who prides himself upon his French accent, remarked that, “ they
might say it had been discovered by a German naturalist, but that, for
his part, he should always think it had been found out by a Erenck
savon.” Mr. Punch has further ascertained that, in the Californian
dialect of the language of flowers, this plant signifies “I wash my
hands of you ! ” and is employed by ladies to intimate their rejection
of an unwelcome suit.

THE CHELSEA GHOST.

The lovers of the marvellous will be sorry to hear that the Chelsea
Ghost is a spirit raised by the penny-a-liners in the hope of raising
their own spirits by a few extra pence during the present dull season.
We felt quite sure that directly the police went in search of the appa-
rition, it would not appear to any summons that might be served upon
it; and when we were told that Sergeant Somebody had walked
through the ghost, we were convinced the real fact must have been
that if there was a ghost at all, the police, instead of walking through
it, would have walked into it. We felt perfectly satisfied that the
spectre must vanish before the inspector, and we are happy, for the
sake of common sense, to find publicity given to the fact, that the
Chelsea Ghost lives only in the imagination of the unhappy parrurraph-
mongers, who have been tempted to idealise a spirit for the purpose
of realising an extra glass of grog or some “ other compound.”

Toast for Tavern Landlords.—The Cricketer, who always runs
up a score by his innings.