DOI issue:
July to December, 1853
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16612#0165
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
! i j4
\
THE MOUSTACHE MOVEMENT.
Whipper. “Well, I wear mine because it saves trouble, and is so vert
EALTHY.”
GRAND SCENA EROM OBERON.
Eider from a Hotel, Sir IIuon, without his Coat.
RECITATIVE.
Yes, even clothes the pay must yield,
No carpet bag have I;
The Paper be my battle field —
I’m fleeced ! my battle cry.
AIR.
O, ’tis a monstrous sight to see
The charge of the British Hostelry,
Its plunderings over aghast we go,
With glances adding each long, long row !
One’s shocked as one glances; we shiver all.
Though we shiver quite in vain—
They have raised such a total, we, rampant, call
On the Landlord to explain.
Charge ten shillings for breakfast and bed !
Dinner reckoned at eight per head !
Are things raised again, though Protection’s no more ?
Por your bills are as of yore !
I say, I’m done! Tea, two for one ?
Your crumpets startle my father’s sou !
And my senses are whirled to the winds afar,
By your wax-lights. At tendance, Et Ccetera !
Mourn, ye Knaves in the Public line.
Your swindles lie stark in the broad sunshine,
The guests whom you sheared ere you let them go
Have made all the world your extortion know !
Joy to the moderate hosts of Prance !
Custom waits upon wise finance;
Joy to your honest Yankee men !
Their guests are all travelling back again.
There they go—the shaved ones see,
Who are grumbling at British Roguery.
Take the bill—the items pare,
Pill with cheap wine the bottle fair.
Strike off half—’t will still be high—
When we’ve won the victory!
Snapper. “Haii, well there aint no ’umbug about me: I wear
because they looks ’ansom, and goes down with the Gals.”
MINE
The Horse-Marines.—The poor horses that draw the
i Bathing Machines.
AN AEEAIR WITH THE (KNIGITTSBRIDGE''
CAEERES.
We thought we had heard enough of the rows with the Caffres at
the Cape; but there have lately been some Caffres cutting the
oddest capers at Hyde Park Corner. It seems that a noble Caffre
chieftain has entered into an agreement for himself and a few of his
tribe to howl, leap, brandish tomahawks, and indulge in other out-
landish freaks, coming under the head of “ native customs,” for a year
and a half, during which period the howlings, tomahawkings, &c., are
to be the exclusive property of an individual who has speculated on the
appetite of the British public for yells and wild antics. Things were
going on pretty comfortably, with the exception of an occasional
“outbreak”—which means the breaking-in by a Caffre of some
other Caffre’s, or somebody else’s head—when the chief was seized
with a generous desire to make a gratuitous exhibition of him-
self, and accordingly Nkuloocoolo—as the chief calls himself-—
took a turn in the Park on Thursday last with four of his fellow
] countrymen.
The proprietor of the yells and native dances, fearful that the gilt
would be taken off the gingerbread complexions of the Caffres if their
faces were made familiar to the public in Hyde Park, sent a policeman
to take the “ chief ” into custody. Nkuloocoolo, however, who seems
to take the thing coolly as well as cavalierly—or Caffrely—refused to walk
in, but stood outside the door, rendering it hopeless that anybody
would pay half-a-crown to “ walk up,” when the chief was to be seen
“ alive, alive ” for nothing. at the threshold. The proprietor endea-
voured to push the chief inside, but the chief gave a counter-push, and
there seemed a probability of a war-whoop being got up at the expense
rather than for the benefit of the enterprising individual who had
engaged the whoopers. Upon this the chief was taken into custody and
charged with an assault, and with having desired the proprietor (in
Caffre)to “look out ”—an expression which, though not very alarming
in English, seems to nave had in Caffre a very frightful effect on the
mind of the hearer. Perhaps, being familiar with the club exercise of
the Caffres, he might have reason to fear that their “ native customs ”
would make them rather awkward customers.
The complainant was, however, most properly told by the Magistrate
that the Calfres cannot, bylaw, be restrained from going wherever they
please, though ihey may have agreed to whoop and yell, but their
whooping and yelling can only he enforced by civil process. If a
Caffre chooses to take a walk in the Park, or anywhere else, he has a
perfect right to do so, if he does not break the law by tomahawking
the public, or any other “native” eccentricity. The “proprietor ”
seemed to feel himself rather aggrieved that he could not dispose of
the Caffres in any way he pleased, but it would be rather too absurd,
that the principle of slavery and absolute control over the person of a
human being should be recognised for the benefit of an individual who
has speculated in the attraction of savage yells and barbarian antics.
THE PARSON’S PARLIAMENT.
Every now and then we read in the papers an. account of the Con-
vocation of Prelates and Clergy, at which, by general consent, nothing
seems to be done, and nobody appears to be present. If this assembly,
which never assembles, and a body, which nobody troubles himself to
form, is supposed to represent the Church, we must admit that the
representation is—as far as sinecurism is concerned—a very faithful
one. The proceedings at the last meeting consisted of a rather dull
duett, between the Archbishop’s commissioner and his Grace’s regis-
trar. The latter in a lengthened solo gave the whole writ of prorogation
at full length, and the former chimed in at the conclusion with an
announcement that the business of the day was ended. The scene of
this melancholy farce is always the Jerusalem Chambers. It would
perhaps give life to the scene if Mr. Cook would lend from Astley’s
a Jerusalem pony or two by way of affording a little fit companionship
to the commissioner and registrar, who must he rather sick of each
oilier, and might be glad to welcome a little congenial society. The
addition we have suggested might be sanctioned, under the plea that,
the Yicar of Bray would then have a representative.
! i j4
\
THE MOUSTACHE MOVEMENT.
Whipper. “Well, I wear mine because it saves trouble, and is so vert
EALTHY.”
GRAND SCENA EROM OBERON.
Eider from a Hotel, Sir IIuon, without his Coat.
RECITATIVE.
Yes, even clothes the pay must yield,
No carpet bag have I;
The Paper be my battle field —
I’m fleeced ! my battle cry.
AIR.
O, ’tis a monstrous sight to see
The charge of the British Hostelry,
Its plunderings over aghast we go,
With glances adding each long, long row !
One’s shocked as one glances; we shiver all.
Though we shiver quite in vain—
They have raised such a total, we, rampant, call
On the Landlord to explain.
Charge ten shillings for breakfast and bed !
Dinner reckoned at eight per head !
Are things raised again, though Protection’s no more ?
Por your bills are as of yore !
I say, I’m done! Tea, two for one ?
Your crumpets startle my father’s sou !
And my senses are whirled to the winds afar,
By your wax-lights. At tendance, Et Ccetera !
Mourn, ye Knaves in the Public line.
Your swindles lie stark in the broad sunshine,
The guests whom you sheared ere you let them go
Have made all the world your extortion know !
Joy to the moderate hosts of Prance !
Custom waits upon wise finance;
Joy to your honest Yankee men !
Their guests are all travelling back again.
There they go—the shaved ones see,
Who are grumbling at British Roguery.
Take the bill—the items pare,
Pill with cheap wine the bottle fair.
Strike off half—’t will still be high—
When we’ve won the victory!
Snapper. “Haii, well there aint no ’umbug about me: I wear
because they looks ’ansom, and goes down with the Gals.”
MINE
The Horse-Marines.—The poor horses that draw the
i Bathing Machines.
AN AEEAIR WITH THE (KNIGITTSBRIDGE''
CAEERES.
We thought we had heard enough of the rows with the Caffres at
the Cape; but there have lately been some Caffres cutting the
oddest capers at Hyde Park Corner. It seems that a noble Caffre
chieftain has entered into an agreement for himself and a few of his
tribe to howl, leap, brandish tomahawks, and indulge in other out-
landish freaks, coming under the head of “ native customs,” for a year
and a half, during which period the howlings, tomahawkings, &c., are
to be the exclusive property of an individual who has speculated on the
appetite of the British public for yells and wild antics. Things were
going on pretty comfortably, with the exception of an occasional
“outbreak”—which means the breaking-in by a Caffre of some
other Caffre’s, or somebody else’s head—when the chief was seized
with a generous desire to make a gratuitous exhibition of him-
self, and accordingly Nkuloocoolo—as the chief calls himself-—
took a turn in the Park on Thursday last with four of his fellow
] countrymen.
The proprietor of the yells and native dances, fearful that the gilt
would be taken off the gingerbread complexions of the Caffres if their
faces were made familiar to the public in Hyde Park, sent a policeman
to take the “ chief ” into custody. Nkuloocoolo, however, who seems
to take the thing coolly as well as cavalierly—or Caffrely—refused to walk
in, but stood outside the door, rendering it hopeless that anybody
would pay half-a-crown to “ walk up,” when the chief was to be seen
“ alive, alive ” for nothing. at the threshold. The proprietor endea-
voured to push the chief inside, but the chief gave a counter-push, and
there seemed a probability of a war-whoop being got up at the expense
rather than for the benefit of the enterprising individual who had
engaged the whoopers. Upon this the chief was taken into custody and
charged with an assault, and with having desired the proprietor (in
Caffre)to “look out ”—an expression which, though not very alarming
in English, seems to nave had in Caffre a very frightful effect on the
mind of the hearer. Perhaps, being familiar with the club exercise of
the Caffres, he might have reason to fear that their “ native customs ”
would make them rather awkward customers.
The complainant was, however, most properly told by the Magistrate
that the Calfres cannot, bylaw, be restrained from going wherever they
please, though ihey may have agreed to whoop and yell, but their
whooping and yelling can only he enforced by civil process. If a
Caffre chooses to take a walk in the Park, or anywhere else, he has a
perfect right to do so, if he does not break the law by tomahawking
the public, or any other “native” eccentricity. The “proprietor ”
seemed to feel himself rather aggrieved that he could not dispose of
the Caffres in any way he pleased, but it would be rather too absurd,
that the principle of slavery and absolute control over the person of a
human being should be recognised for the benefit of an individual who
has speculated in the attraction of savage yells and barbarian antics.
THE PARSON’S PARLIAMENT.
Every now and then we read in the papers an. account of the Con-
vocation of Prelates and Clergy, at which, by general consent, nothing
seems to be done, and nobody appears to be present. If this assembly,
which never assembles, and a body, which nobody troubles himself to
form, is supposed to represent the Church, we must admit that the
representation is—as far as sinecurism is concerned—a very faithful
one. The proceedings at the last meeting consisted of a rather dull
duett, between the Archbishop’s commissioner and his Grace’s regis-
trar. The latter in a lengthened solo gave the whole writ of prorogation
at full length, and the former chimed in at the conclusion with an
announcement that the business of the day was ended. The scene of
this melancholy farce is always the Jerusalem Chambers. It would
perhaps give life to the scene if Mr. Cook would lend from Astley’s
a Jerusalem pony or two by way of affording a little fit companionship
to the commissioner and registrar, who must he rather sick of each
oilier, and might be glad to welcome a little congenial society. The
addition we have suggested might be sanctioned, under the plea that,
the Yicar of Bray would then have a representative.