DOI Heft:
July to December, 1853
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16612#0174
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
163
THE PEACE SPECTACLE IN SCOTLAND.
Al transported audience.
lives are to be grown in Edinburgh. We
rejoice to hear the news. The Scotch
have always been distinguished for
meekness and (after breakfast) even
mealy-mouthedness. They have, never-
theless, been shamefully libelled by
history. The national spirit has been
designated the perfervidum geniurn Sco-
torum! No such thing. Caledonia
was ever mild as milk : in the time even
of Agricola, it was well known that
butter would not melt in her mouth.
This meek, pacific quality of Scotland
has been wickedly disguised and libelled,
but Cobden and Bright have resolved to vindicate the truth. Eagles
never did breed in Scotland—they were only doves, sucking-doves,
of a larger size. And as for the thistle, with that hostile, spiteful,
unbrotherly motto. Nemo me impune lacessit,—Scotland shall henceforth
assume as her floral type the simple “ gowan fine.”
We are happy to learn that the peace festival will be celebrated with
appropriate beauty of imagery and plenteousness of fare. We have
gathered a few of the particulars ; and although we do not vouch for
vhe fullness of the description—for the time will yet admit of many
improvements—nevertheless the subjoined will be found a very fail-
sketch of the approaching ceremony.
At day-break, Mons Meg will be fired; being loaded with a cotton-
ball, brought from Manchester by one of her Members, John Bright.
A procession—forming at Holyrood House—will proceed (weather
permitting) to the summit of Arthur’s Seat. We give a few of the
more important characters in the pageant.
Mr. Cobden (crowned with corn) will lead a Bear in a string of
daisies; the Bear “ crumpled ” a little about the ears, and
muzzled with the finest bit of cotton twist.
Mr Bright will lead a Turkey in chains of pork sausages!
Transportation, as a penalty for crime, has been abolished by law:
but transuortation, by way of amusement, is still carried on, and
Mr. Henry Russell—familiarly known as the original “maniac,”
he having obtained an injunction against a second-hand “maniac”
who had infringed a copyright by seeing them “dancing, dancing,
dancing, in the hall —has been causing some of his audience to be
literally transported with delight by presenting them with free passages
to America. This is all very well, and very liberal, no doubt, but a
passage to America may sometimes prove more free than welcome.
We recollect a recent instance of a quiet old gentleman from the
country having strolled into a theatre, where he found a “ popular
vocalist ” pumping away at the “Ship on Fire” with all his lungs, and
the old gentleman was about to quit the theatre at the end of the
performance when he was suddenly seised, dragged on to the stage,
exhibited to public view, and loudly cheered as the happy winner of j
“ a free passage to America.” To appear ungrateful for a boon wLich
seemed to be thought so enviable was impossible, and the poor old
gentleman was obliged to give his name and address on the spot, to
enter into arrangements for meeting the ship at Liverpool, and pledge
himself to au emigration which would separate him from a capital
business, a devoted wife, and an affectionate family. The feelings of
that wife and family may be conceived when they found by the next
day’s paper—received by the early morning mail two hundred'miles
from London—that the husband and father had so far forgotten the
ties of home and kindred as to have become the subject of “a free
passage to America.” It is true that, after a frightful nightmare, in
which he heard a wild chorus of “ Cheer, boys, cheer,” interrupted by
moans of “ Ha ! ’tis the night watch ! ” with occasional shrieks of “ I
am not mad! I am not mad ! ” he rose with a determination to
relinquish his precious prize, and resigned to some more appreciating
S hands his “ free passage to America.”
VERY GOOD OE THE POPE.
The Pope, according to his frequent custom, has recently caused j
prayers to be offered in all Continental Catholic churches, for the
conversion of England. This is very good of him, though it may be
very unnecessary. The Pope declares—sorrowingly—that this England,
“ once the island of the blessed,” has been “ tor a long while past
[caught in the errors of heresy”—“has fallen from the true belief,”—■
and is oppressed by “ dark, false teaching, which keeps it from the
| knowledge of the truth.” All of which evils His Holiness prays may
be put away from us, that we may all see the true light, which is the 1
Pope’s eye—all salute the true faith, which is the Pope’s toe. We
repeat, however, that we object not to the prayers of the Pope’s
Church ; but we do most vehemently object to the bolts and bars with
which such supplications are wont to be associated. Eor instance, we
have no objection that the Duke op Tuscany should pray for the
conversion of Miss Cunninghame, but we do object—and might
feel disposed to urge such objection from an iron mouth—that 1 he
Grand Duke should turn the lady fiom her free home to an Italian
dungeon. Let the Duke pray as much as he will; but only pray—
not prey.
A Banner (with a walnut-tree worked in worsted) borne by Mr.
George Wilson ; with the appropriate peaceful motto :
The oak gives place to the walnut-tree,
For more ’tis heat, the better it be ! ”
At the public meeting, the Loud Provost will—on the part of the
City of Edinburgh—decorate certain members of the Congress witli
medals, bearing the effigies of a Goose—a Calf—a Bee. Anser, Vitulus,
Apis regunt mundum: the Goose, the Calf, the Bee do (should) rule
the world—Goose-pen, Calf-parchment, Bees’-wax.
At the banquet geese ana sweetbreads and wax-candles will, in a
savoury and brilliant manner, further illustrate the uses and beauties
of Anser, Vitulus, Apis.
Eor ourselves, we say, long flourish the olive-tree ! But is now the
precise season to plant it in the soil of Scotland ?
Courteous invitations have been sent to the Emperors op Russia
and Austria, to be present either in their Imperial persons or by
ambassador. However, up to the time of our going to press, no answer
had been received; and we thought it, perhaps, useless to wait for it.
RUSSIAN “MOUCHES” IN EDINBURGH.
The daily papers tell us that—•
“ The clouds of small black flies which were observed in many places of the island
■ about a fortnight or three weeks ago, again presented themselves on Wednesday
morning in the neighbourhood of Edinburgh.”
These black flies have—we understand upon good authority—pre-
ceded Mr. Elihu Burritt from Russia: and are, indeed, only
another evidence of the magical influence of the harmonious black-
smith. These black flies were—only two months ago—wasps, Russian
wasps, encountered by Elihu in the environs of St. Petersburgh. He
i was on horseback, when his horse’s foot sinking into a wasp’s nest,
'brought a cloud of the destructive insects about the head of the
; traveller. Every wasp had his sting out when—-Mr. Burritt de-
' livered himself of one of those marvellous orations which it had been
Ids mission to deliver to the Czar’s bondmen. In twenty minutes,
the eloquent peacemaker had talked every armed wasp into a harmless
small black fly. Thus, can there be any doubt that the peace orators of
j the North will, in like maimer, talk the Russian army out of its
! bayonets ?_
“Woodman! Spare that Joke.”
A new Work has been recently published under the quaint title oi
“ The Book of the Axe.” We do not know whether it is an illustrated
volume, but the “ Book of the Axe” would seem to have missed its
aim, unless the “ cuts on wood ” are numerous.
Ready Wit.
The Morning Herald says of Mr. Gladstone’s Inverness speeches,
“ The nail-blue-cholera-collapsed condition of his speeches i ”
Is not this ready wit ? Wit at the fingers’ ends P
I -
163
THE PEACE SPECTACLE IN SCOTLAND.
Al transported audience.
lives are to be grown in Edinburgh. We
rejoice to hear the news. The Scotch
have always been distinguished for
meekness and (after breakfast) even
mealy-mouthedness. They have, never-
theless, been shamefully libelled by
history. The national spirit has been
designated the perfervidum geniurn Sco-
torum! No such thing. Caledonia
was ever mild as milk : in the time even
of Agricola, it was well known that
butter would not melt in her mouth.
This meek, pacific quality of Scotland
has been wickedly disguised and libelled,
but Cobden and Bright have resolved to vindicate the truth. Eagles
never did breed in Scotland—they were only doves, sucking-doves,
of a larger size. And as for the thistle, with that hostile, spiteful,
unbrotherly motto. Nemo me impune lacessit,—Scotland shall henceforth
assume as her floral type the simple “ gowan fine.”
We are happy to learn that the peace festival will be celebrated with
appropriate beauty of imagery and plenteousness of fare. We have
gathered a few of the particulars ; and although we do not vouch for
vhe fullness of the description—for the time will yet admit of many
improvements—nevertheless the subjoined will be found a very fail-
sketch of the approaching ceremony.
At day-break, Mons Meg will be fired; being loaded with a cotton-
ball, brought from Manchester by one of her Members, John Bright.
A procession—forming at Holyrood House—will proceed (weather
permitting) to the summit of Arthur’s Seat. We give a few of the
more important characters in the pageant.
Mr. Cobden (crowned with corn) will lead a Bear in a string of
daisies; the Bear “ crumpled ” a little about the ears, and
muzzled with the finest bit of cotton twist.
Mr Bright will lead a Turkey in chains of pork sausages!
Transportation, as a penalty for crime, has been abolished by law:
but transuortation, by way of amusement, is still carried on, and
Mr. Henry Russell—familiarly known as the original “maniac,”
he having obtained an injunction against a second-hand “maniac”
who had infringed a copyright by seeing them “dancing, dancing,
dancing, in the hall —has been causing some of his audience to be
literally transported with delight by presenting them with free passages
to America. This is all very well, and very liberal, no doubt, but a
passage to America may sometimes prove more free than welcome.
We recollect a recent instance of a quiet old gentleman from the
country having strolled into a theatre, where he found a “ popular
vocalist ” pumping away at the “Ship on Fire” with all his lungs, and
the old gentleman was about to quit the theatre at the end of the
performance when he was suddenly seised, dragged on to the stage,
exhibited to public view, and loudly cheered as the happy winner of j
“ a free passage to America.” To appear ungrateful for a boon wLich
seemed to be thought so enviable was impossible, and the poor old
gentleman was obliged to give his name and address on the spot, to
enter into arrangements for meeting the ship at Liverpool, and pledge
himself to au emigration which would separate him from a capital
business, a devoted wife, and an affectionate family. The feelings of
that wife and family may be conceived when they found by the next
day’s paper—received by the early morning mail two hundred'miles
from London—that the husband and father had so far forgotten the
ties of home and kindred as to have become the subject of “a free
passage to America.” It is true that, after a frightful nightmare, in
which he heard a wild chorus of “ Cheer, boys, cheer,” interrupted by
moans of “ Ha ! ’tis the night watch ! ” with occasional shrieks of “ I
am not mad! I am not mad ! ” he rose with a determination to
relinquish his precious prize, and resigned to some more appreciating
S hands his “ free passage to America.”
VERY GOOD OE THE POPE.
The Pope, according to his frequent custom, has recently caused j
prayers to be offered in all Continental Catholic churches, for the
conversion of England. This is very good of him, though it may be
very unnecessary. The Pope declares—sorrowingly—that this England,
“ once the island of the blessed,” has been “ tor a long while past
[caught in the errors of heresy”—“has fallen from the true belief,”—■
and is oppressed by “ dark, false teaching, which keeps it from the
| knowledge of the truth.” All of which evils His Holiness prays may
be put away from us, that we may all see the true light, which is the 1
Pope’s eye—all salute the true faith, which is the Pope’s toe. We
repeat, however, that we object not to the prayers of the Pope’s
Church ; but we do most vehemently object to the bolts and bars with
which such supplications are wont to be associated. Eor instance, we
have no objection that the Duke op Tuscany should pray for the
conversion of Miss Cunninghame, but we do object—and might
feel disposed to urge such objection from an iron mouth—that 1 he
Grand Duke should turn the lady fiom her free home to an Italian
dungeon. Let the Duke pray as much as he will; but only pray—
not prey.
A Banner (with a walnut-tree worked in worsted) borne by Mr.
George Wilson ; with the appropriate peaceful motto :
The oak gives place to the walnut-tree,
For more ’tis heat, the better it be ! ”
At the public meeting, the Loud Provost will—on the part of the
City of Edinburgh—decorate certain members of the Congress witli
medals, bearing the effigies of a Goose—a Calf—a Bee. Anser, Vitulus,
Apis regunt mundum: the Goose, the Calf, the Bee do (should) rule
the world—Goose-pen, Calf-parchment, Bees’-wax.
At the banquet geese ana sweetbreads and wax-candles will, in a
savoury and brilliant manner, further illustrate the uses and beauties
of Anser, Vitulus, Apis.
Eor ourselves, we say, long flourish the olive-tree ! But is now the
precise season to plant it in the soil of Scotland ?
Courteous invitations have been sent to the Emperors op Russia
and Austria, to be present either in their Imperial persons or by
ambassador. However, up to the time of our going to press, no answer
had been received; and we thought it, perhaps, useless to wait for it.
RUSSIAN “MOUCHES” IN EDINBURGH.
The daily papers tell us that—•
“ The clouds of small black flies which were observed in many places of the island
■ about a fortnight or three weeks ago, again presented themselves on Wednesday
morning in the neighbourhood of Edinburgh.”
These black flies have—we understand upon good authority—pre-
ceded Mr. Elihu Burritt from Russia: and are, indeed, only
another evidence of the magical influence of the harmonious black-
smith. These black flies were—only two months ago—wasps, Russian
wasps, encountered by Elihu in the environs of St. Petersburgh. He
i was on horseback, when his horse’s foot sinking into a wasp’s nest,
'brought a cloud of the destructive insects about the head of the
; traveller. Every wasp had his sting out when—-Mr. Burritt de-
' livered himself of one of those marvellous orations which it had been
Ids mission to deliver to the Czar’s bondmen. In twenty minutes,
the eloquent peacemaker had talked every armed wasp into a harmless
small black fly. Thus, can there be any doubt that the peace orators of
j the North will, in like maimer, talk the Russian army out of its
! bayonets ?_
“Woodman! Spare that Joke.”
A new Work has been recently published under the quaint title oi
“ The Book of the Axe.” We do not know whether it is an illustrated
volume, but the “ Book of the Axe” would seem to have missed its
aim, unless the “ cuts on wood ” are numerous.
Ready Wit.
The Morning Herald says of Mr. Gladstone’s Inverness speeches,
“ The nail-blue-cholera-collapsed condition of his speeches i ”
Is not this ready wit ? Wit at the fingers’ ends P
I -