DOI issue:
July to December, 1853
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16612#0183
172
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
THE MODERN LANGUAGES TAUGHT IN ONE LESSON!
German Professor {on “ la Perche ”) to Italian ditto below. “ Be steadier,
Bill, will ter, or I’m blowed ip I don’t come down ! ”
LARES AND PENATES FOR THE POTHOUSE.
High Art in Britisli Sculpture is out of the question—except as, in
the case of the Duke of York’s image and that of Nelson, wnen rne
figure is placed on the top of a tali column. Tms is in most instances
by far the best place for it; the generality of our statues being objects
of such a nature as to render it advisable that their view should
borrow the very largest amount of enchantment that can be lent thereto
by distance.
The Sublime in plastic Art is hopelessly unattainable by John Bull:
he has never yet been. able to manage to pass the boundary which
separates it from the Ridiculous. We had better stick to the latter,
wherein we excel. To be sure, it may be doubted whether any pro-
duction of the native chisel, meant for fun, could be more funny than
the forms of pigtail, of wig, of military uniform and official costume,
which that instrument is seriously employed to dignify. But why
continue to adorn our churches and public buildings with monuments
ol gallant officers accoutred for parade, of bishops in confirmation
costume, and of half-nude unshapely statesmen with cropped whiskers,
m the dishabille of a loose sheet, apparently draped, in an uncom-
fortable manner, to undergo the operation of shaving P These things
do not excite the feelings which they are meant to address—some of
them, on the contrary, instead of warming the imagination, suggest a
very unpleasant idea of catching cold.
But then, when British Sculpture attempts a tobacconist’s High-
lander or a Gog or Magog, it succeeds admirably, and there is a
special direction in which it once promised to do wonders; that of
bass-relief on the exterior of brown jugs. Here was native talent
forming a channel for itself, in which perhaps it had better run freelv,
exercising originality, than labour with imitative and simious toil at the
manufacture of ideal Art-Alepots.
Art-Alepots, however, of a humorous and comical design, and
kindred subjects, the British sculptor might work with immense
success. We have abandoned the Greek and Roman mythology
(modern as well as ancient) tor the most part, but we have still a sort
of temple of Bacchus ; the Gin Shops and the Public-houses. To
the decoration ot these the British sculptor could direct his abilities
right profitably.
At a recent meeting of the Middlesex Magistrates—according to the
Jmes—tbe chairman of the Bench, Mr. Pownall. delivered an oration
to the applicants for publicans’ licenses for music and dancing
Wherein—
“After expressing his own desire, and that of his colleagues, to do all in their
power to promote a national taste for music by granting music licenses, he cautioned
such applicants as should he fortunate enough to obtain them, not to attempt to open
penny or twopenny concert rooms, lest by so doing they should attract the customers
of, and injure the draught of liquor in the neighbouring public-houses. He warned
them that if they were so ill-advised as to build and fit up spacious and well-ventilated
music saloons for the accommodation of the public, and to repay themselves by taking
money at the doors, instead of by an increased sale of beer and gin, and so ‘ create a
monopoly in their own favour,’ they must recollect that they did so ‘ entirely at their
own risk,’ that is, at the risk of having their concert rooms closed by the licensing
Magistrates on the next licensing day.”
Now, in the Middlesex Magistrates, as represented by Mr. Pownall,
| and not in them only, but in tbe whole unpaid Bench, might the
British sculptor find models for household gods to embellish pot-houses
withal. Their worshipful forms might be carved to stand as chimney
ornaments, or to stride in the character of the jolly divinity upon
barrels over tap-room doors. The “ fair romid belly with good capon
lined,” of the worthy justice would exceedingly well become that
situation; for the national organ of music which the magistracy wish
! to cultivate appears to be a barrel-organ. No stout, no song; no beer,
| no ballad; no porter, no piano; no heavy, no harp; no fuddle, no
1 fiddle; are the maxims which regulate their philharmonic ordinances.
No gin, no glee, is their decree ; no go, and no chorus. Therefore the
! mantelpiece of every Jerry-shop ought to be embellished with their
statuettes, and so ought that of every big brewer and gin-spinner,
their private connexions, consulting whose vested interests under the
j pretence of a regard to public duty, they violate the very essential
principle of Free Trade, in order to prevent the competitors of their
friends from “ creating a monopoly in their own favour.”
LIBEL ON THE PRINCE OE WALES.
Sunday paper, which affects to
consider itself the organ of the
Court, has fallen into a libel
through its excessive propensity
to flunkeyism. The following is
the libellous paragraph :—
“The Prince op Wales and the
Shopman.—During one of the late
Royal visits to tbe Dublin Exhibition
the Royal children wandered about in
the toy section of the building, while
the Queen and Prince Albert were
in other departments. The Prince
of Wales showed a precocious tact
in striking a bargain. He asked the
price of an elaborate specimen of
carving in bog-oak. The shopman in
attendance, quite overwhelmed with
the unexpected honour, answered dis-
tractedly, “ a shilling”—the true price
being about fifteen shillings. The
Prince, with a promptitude worthy
the future ruler of a great commercial
nation, closed with the bargain at once,
laid down his shilling, and walked off
with his prize. This little incident
will probably make the fortune of
the exhibitor, who is constantly sur-
rounded by groups of the curious, and
preserves the shilling under a glass
vase, only to be shown to the most favoured of the customers.”
While transferring tbe above paragraph to our columns, we beg to
protest against its truth, and to express our contempt for the awkward
flunkeyism which endeavours to compliment the heir to the throne by
imputing to him an act of what an American would call “ smartness,”
and an Englishman would designate dishonesty. The imputation
thrown upon the little Prince is that he took advantage of a shopman’s
mistake to obtain for a shilling what was .worth fifteen, and this is
clumsily described as a feat “worthy the future ruler of a great
commercial nation.” What great commercial principle is comprised in
the act which has thus falsely, as we believe, been attributed to the
Prince we are at a loss to perceive; but, if our contemporary carries
on its commercial concerns in the spirit it seems so much to admire,
we should decline having any dealings with it “ in any shape or way ”
whatever.
We should like to know what the proprietors of the paper would say
if a “smart” news-boy were to enter the office, asking the price
of a quire of the journal, and on being told sixpence by mistake, be
were to throw down that sum, and seizing up some ten shillings-worth
of property, were to hurry away with it. Such an “ incident ” would
more probably become the subject of a police charge than of a puffing
paragraph.
An Imposing Sight—The sight cf your Bill—at nine-tenths at
least of our “first-rate” Plotels.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
THE MODERN LANGUAGES TAUGHT IN ONE LESSON!
German Professor {on “ la Perche ”) to Italian ditto below. “ Be steadier,
Bill, will ter, or I’m blowed ip I don’t come down ! ”
LARES AND PENATES FOR THE POTHOUSE.
High Art in Britisli Sculpture is out of the question—except as, in
the case of the Duke of York’s image and that of Nelson, wnen rne
figure is placed on the top of a tali column. Tms is in most instances
by far the best place for it; the generality of our statues being objects
of such a nature as to render it advisable that their view should
borrow the very largest amount of enchantment that can be lent thereto
by distance.
The Sublime in plastic Art is hopelessly unattainable by John Bull:
he has never yet been. able to manage to pass the boundary which
separates it from the Ridiculous. We had better stick to the latter,
wherein we excel. To be sure, it may be doubted whether any pro-
duction of the native chisel, meant for fun, could be more funny than
the forms of pigtail, of wig, of military uniform and official costume,
which that instrument is seriously employed to dignify. But why
continue to adorn our churches and public buildings with monuments
ol gallant officers accoutred for parade, of bishops in confirmation
costume, and of half-nude unshapely statesmen with cropped whiskers,
m the dishabille of a loose sheet, apparently draped, in an uncom-
fortable manner, to undergo the operation of shaving P These things
do not excite the feelings which they are meant to address—some of
them, on the contrary, instead of warming the imagination, suggest a
very unpleasant idea of catching cold.
But then, when British Sculpture attempts a tobacconist’s High-
lander or a Gog or Magog, it succeeds admirably, and there is a
special direction in which it once promised to do wonders; that of
bass-relief on the exterior of brown jugs. Here was native talent
forming a channel for itself, in which perhaps it had better run freelv,
exercising originality, than labour with imitative and simious toil at the
manufacture of ideal Art-Alepots.
Art-Alepots, however, of a humorous and comical design, and
kindred subjects, the British sculptor might work with immense
success. We have abandoned the Greek and Roman mythology
(modern as well as ancient) tor the most part, but we have still a sort
of temple of Bacchus ; the Gin Shops and the Public-houses. To
the decoration ot these the British sculptor could direct his abilities
right profitably.
At a recent meeting of the Middlesex Magistrates—according to the
Jmes—tbe chairman of the Bench, Mr. Pownall. delivered an oration
to the applicants for publicans’ licenses for music and dancing
Wherein—
“After expressing his own desire, and that of his colleagues, to do all in their
power to promote a national taste for music by granting music licenses, he cautioned
such applicants as should he fortunate enough to obtain them, not to attempt to open
penny or twopenny concert rooms, lest by so doing they should attract the customers
of, and injure the draught of liquor in the neighbouring public-houses. He warned
them that if they were so ill-advised as to build and fit up spacious and well-ventilated
music saloons for the accommodation of the public, and to repay themselves by taking
money at the doors, instead of by an increased sale of beer and gin, and so ‘ create a
monopoly in their own favour,’ they must recollect that they did so ‘ entirely at their
own risk,’ that is, at the risk of having their concert rooms closed by the licensing
Magistrates on the next licensing day.”
Now, in the Middlesex Magistrates, as represented by Mr. Pownall,
| and not in them only, but in tbe whole unpaid Bench, might the
British sculptor find models for household gods to embellish pot-houses
withal. Their worshipful forms might be carved to stand as chimney
ornaments, or to stride in the character of the jolly divinity upon
barrels over tap-room doors. The “ fair romid belly with good capon
lined,” of the worthy justice would exceedingly well become that
situation; for the national organ of music which the magistracy wish
! to cultivate appears to be a barrel-organ. No stout, no song; no beer,
| no ballad; no porter, no piano; no heavy, no harp; no fuddle, no
1 fiddle; are the maxims which regulate their philharmonic ordinances.
No gin, no glee, is their decree ; no go, and no chorus. Therefore the
! mantelpiece of every Jerry-shop ought to be embellished with their
statuettes, and so ought that of every big brewer and gin-spinner,
their private connexions, consulting whose vested interests under the
j pretence of a regard to public duty, they violate the very essential
principle of Free Trade, in order to prevent the competitors of their
friends from “ creating a monopoly in their own favour.”
LIBEL ON THE PRINCE OE WALES.
Sunday paper, which affects to
consider itself the organ of the
Court, has fallen into a libel
through its excessive propensity
to flunkeyism. The following is
the libellous paragraph :—
“The Prince op Wales and the
Shopman.—During one of the late
Royal visits to tbe Dublin Exhibition
the Royal children wandered about in
the toy section of the building, while
the Queen and Prince Albert were
in other departments. The Prince
of Wales showed a precocious tact
in striking a bargain. He asked the
price of an elaborate specimen of
carving in bog-oak. The shopman in
attendance, quite overwhelmed with
the unexpected honour, answered dis-
tractedly, “ a shilling”—the true price
being about fifteen shillings. The
Prince, with a promptitude worthy
the future ruler of a great commercial
nation, closed with the bargain at once,
laid down his shilling, and walked off
with his prize. This little incident
will probably make the fortune of
the exhibitor, who is constantly sur-
rounded by groups of the curious, and
preserves the shilling under a glass
vase, only to be shown to the most favoured of the customers.”
While transferring tbe above paragraph to our columns, we beg to
protest against its truth, and to express our contempt for the awkward
flunkeyism which endeavours to compliment the heir to the throne by
imputing to him an act of what an American would call “ smartness,”
and an Englishman would designate dishonesty. The imputation
thrown upon the little Prince is that he took advantage of a shopman’s
mistake to obtain for a shilling what was .worth fifteen, and this is
clumsily described as a feat “worthy the future ruler of a great
commercial nation.” What great commercial principle is comprised in
the act which has thus falsely, as we believe, been attributed to the
Prince we are at a loss to perceive; but, if our contemporary carries
on its commercial concerns in the spirit it seems so much to admire,
we should decline having any dealings with it “ in any shape or way ”
whatever.
We should like to know what the proprietors of the paper would say
if a “smart” news-boy were to enter the office, asking the price
of a quire of the journal, and on being told sixpence by mistake, be
were to throw down that sum, and seizing up some ten shillings-worth
of property, were to hurry away with it. Such an “ incident ” would
more probably become the subject of a police charge than of a puffing
paragraph.
An Imposing Sight—The sight cf your Bill—at nine-tenths at
least of our “first-rate” Plotels.