DOI Heft:
July to December, 1853
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16612#0229
218
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
PLAIN PAPE AT THE PALACE.
The Court Circular informed us the other day
that “ there was no addition to the Poyal dinner
yesterday.” We shoidd not have had the im-
pertinence to speculate on the bill of fare at the
Palace, had we not been, as it were, invited to
the subject by the Court Newsman, who tells
us that there was ‘‘no addition to tne Poyal
dinner.” We can only compliment those who
have the arrangement of the Palace provisions
on their frugality, which in these days of dear
provisions is a virtue that all housekeepers would
do well to imitate.
If there was “ no addition to the Poyal
dinner,” it is clear that the Poyal Family must,
on the day in question, have been eating cold—
or at most hashed—the “joint ” of the day pre-
vious. We confess we do not like the idea of
the younger branches being deprived of any of
those little luxuries so dear to juvenile as well
as to “ other lips and other hearts ;” and, there-
fore, in the event of any future announcement
of “ no addition to the Royal dinner,” we should
be glad to read the extra intimation “ but there
was a pudding in the nursery.”
The Price of Coals Accounted for.
It is usi ai with small tradesmen to increase
ihe weight of coals by sprinkling cold water
upon them; but in the City the reason why coals
come so heavy is owing to the City dews falling
upon them for twenty miles round London.
When these dews are collected, it is found that
the difference, which, of course, weighs upon the
price, amounts, in the course of the year, to many
hundred thousands of pounds !
WHERE ARE THE RUSSIANS?
HAT has become of the
Russians, of whom
80,000 were said to
have passed the Pruth,
while 24,000 is the
greateit number that
has been yet accounted
for. People are be-
ginning to suspect that
the Russian Army in
the Principalities is
like the Russian Army
at Astley’s—-having
a considerable force
behind some imaginary
hills, and running
round and round by
the back of the stage
to give an appearance
ot numbers. We all know that theatrical population progresses more rapidly
than any other kind ot population; and if our census shows that we double
ourselves in fourteen years, a dramatic census will show that a theatrical population
—-if well marshalled by the stage manager—will double itself in less than five
minutes. These considerations, however, do not help us in our difficulty, when
we ask what has become of some 40,000 or 50,000 Russians that are wholly
unaccounted for ? We may be told in the usual loose phraseology of the chronology
of war that they have been “cut to pieces.” But before we can believe this
dreadful assertion, we have a right to demand the production of at least the “ bits ”
into which the Russians have either been smashed, chopped or beaten. Perhaps
the most plausible way of accounting for the slaughter of the thousands of Russians
whose remains are nowhere to be found is by the very natural supposition that
they were but giants of the imagination, manufactured before they were slain by
some literary Tom Thumb, who is “doing the foreign correspondence ” of some
London journal in his lodgings at Lambeth.
A Gup Too- Much.
We understand that Prince Albert has nothing whatever to do with the
movement got.up by the (late) Lord Mayor, and indeed His Royal Highness
has as much distaste for the baneful cup of adulation as he has for “ the poisoned
Chaims;’
AN ALARMING DISCOVERY.
Somebody is advertising every day an instrument
warranted to “ frighten but not kill ” the public in general.
The terrific instrument is no less than a Gong, which for
40 shillings will frighten a thief, will “appal a burglar”
for 60 shillings, and for the comparatively small matter
of four pounds will “alarm the country.” We hope the
Government will at once put a prohibitory duty on these
gongs, for it will be an awful state of things if anybody
may have it in his power to frighten the isle from its pro-
priety for eighty shillings. Unless something is imme-
diately done to check the danger that threatens us, there
is no doubt that “ Bang goes the Gong ” will become as
great a nuisance as “ Pop goes the Weasel.”
Turtle in Ecstasies.
Accounts from Honduras represent the turtle in the
Bay as exhibiting symptoms of extraordinary excitement;
flapping their fins, paddling about with unwonted rapidity,
lifting themselves on end and dancing and jumping out
of the water; in short, realising the most vivid idea of
lively turtle. These symptoms of hilarity among the
furnishers of green fat have been referred to the antici-
pation of the extinction of the City of Loudon Corporation,
and consequent discontinuance of the Lord Mayor s
dinners.
THE GORTSCHAKOPE JACKET.
The uniform of Prince Gortschakoff.has not been
described. We believe the principal article ot it is a
“ cut-away.”
Protection for the Sloe.
Everybody is for reducing the duty on French wines,
except certain wine-merchants. As importers, the interests
of those gentlemen could hardly be affected by the reduc-
tion ; but perhaps they do not look on port and import as
exactly the same thing.
Fhe Oldest Anchorite.—Hope.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
PLAIN PAPE AT THE PALACE.
The Court Circular informed us the other day
that “ there was no addition to the Poyal dinner
yesterday.” We shoidd not have had the im-
pertinence to speculate on the bill of fare at the
Palace, had we not been, as it were, invited to
the subject by the Court Newsman, who tells
us that there was ‘‘no addition to tne Poyal
dinner.” We can only compliment those who
have the arrangement of the Palace provisions
on their frugality, which in these days of dear
provisions is a virtue that all housekeepers would
do well to imitate.
If there was “ no addition to the Poyal
dinner,” it is clear that the Poyal Family must,
on the day in question, have been eating cold—
or at most hashed—the “joint ” of the day pre-
vious. We confess we do not like the idea of
the younger branches being deprived of any of
those little luxuries so dear to juvenile as well
as to “ other lips and other hearts ;” and, there-
fore, in the event of any future announcement
of “ no addition to the Royal dinner,” we should
be glad to read the extra intimation “ but there
was a pudding in the nursery.”
The Price of Coals Accounted for.
It is usi ai with small tradesmen to increase
ihe weight of coals by sprinkling cold water
upon them; but in the City the reason why coals
come so heavy is owing to the City dews falling
upon them for twenty miles round London.
When these dews are collected, it is found that
the difference, which, of course, weighs upon the
price, amounts, in the course of the year, to many
hundred thousands of pounds !
WHERE ARE THE RUSSIANS?
HAT has become of the
Russians, of whom
80,000 were said to
have passed the Pruth,
while 24,000 is the
greateit number that
has been yet accounted
for. People are be-
ginning to suspect that
the Russian Army in
the Principalities is
like the Russian Army
at Astley’s—-having
a considerable force
behind some imaginary
hills, and running
round and round by
the back of the stage
to give an appearance
ot numbers. We all know that theatrical population progresses more rapidly
than any other kind ot population; and if our census shows that we double
ourselves in fourteen years, a dramatic census will show that a theatrical population
—-if well marshalled by the stage manager—will double itself in less than five
minutes. These considerations, however, do not help us in our difficulty, when
we ask what has become of some 40,000 or 50,000 Russians that are wholly
unaccounted for ? We may be told in the usual loose phraseology of the chronology
of war that they have been “cut to pieces.” But before we can believe this
dreadful assertion, we have a right to demand the production of at least the “ bits ”
into which the Russians have either been smashed, chopped or beaten. Perhaps
the most plausible way of accounting for the slaughter of the thousands of Russians
whose remains are nowhere to be found is by the very natural supposition that
they were but giants of the imagination, manufactured before they were slain by
some literary Tom Thumb, who is “doing the foreign correspondence ” of some
London journal in his lodgings at Lambeth.
A Gup Too- Much.
We understand that Prince Albert has nothing whatever to do with the
movement got.up by the (late) Lord Mayor, and indeed His Royal Highness
has as much distaste for the baneful cup of adulation as he has for “ the poisoned
Chaims;’
AN ALARMING DISCOVERY.
Somebody is advertising every day an instrument
warranted to “ frighten but not kill ” the public in general.
The terrific instrument is no less than a Gong, which for
40 shillings will frighten a thief, will “appal a burglar”
for 60 shillings, and for the comparatively small matter
of four pounds will “alarm the country.” We hope the
Government will at once put a prohibitory duty on these
gongs, for it will be an awful state of things if anybody
may have it in his power to frighten the isle from its pro-
priety for eighty shillings. Unless something is imme-
diately done to check the danger that threatens us, there
is no doubt that “ Bang goes the Gong ” will become as
great a nuisance as “ Pop goes the Weasel.”
Turtle in Ecstasies.
Accounts from Honduras represent the turtle in the
Bay as exhibiting symptoms of extraordinary excitement;
flapping their fins, paddling about with unwonted rapidity,
lifting themselves on end and dancing and jumping out
of the water; in short, realising the most vivid idea of
lively turtle. These symptoms of hilarity among the
furnishers of green fat have been referred to the antici-
pation of the extinction of the City of Loudon Corporation,
and consequent discontinuance of the Lord Mayor s
dinners.
THE GORTSCHAKOPE JACKET.
The uniform of Prince Gortschakoff.has not been
described. We believe the principal article ot it is a
“ cut-away.”
Protection for the Sloe.
Everybody is for reducing the duty on French wines,
except certain wine-merchants. As importers, the interests
of those gentlemen could hardly be affected by the reduc-
tion ; but perhaps they do not look on port and import as
exactly the same thing.
Fhe Oldest Anchorite.—Hope.