DOI issue:
July to December, 1853
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16612#0268
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
257
and now that’s gone they’re gone too. You may expel me, but you
j can’t make me forget, when I Had my big ouse which the Trench
have taken, how Lords, and Barnets, and Guardsmen, and the Hort
No Bless, and their females crawled and cringed and fawned to the
rich Yorkshire linendraper. And if I git right, as I don’t doubt to do,
I shall have ’em round me again. Money does the trick in England,
and it’s despicable cant to say it don’t, I am in the ands of the ouse.”
The Hon. Member’s address caused considerable sensation, especially
among certain strangers in the privileged galleries. Yin. _ Henry
Drummond was observed to rub his hands with much enjoyment.
Lord John Bussell’s amendment was negatived without a division,
Mr. Boeruck’s motion was then carried, and, on the motion of
Mr. Wilson, a new writ was ordered for Sunderland, vacant by the
expulsion of Mr. George Hudson.
THE FASHIONABLE ZOOLOGICAL STAR.
We are sorry to see that the Zoological Gardens have lately got
into the “ Star system.” Not content with a good working company
of bears and monkeys, they must have particular “ Stars ” to bring the
million in. Some time ago it was a hippopotamus, who made all
London run after him. Then there was the baby elephant, who was
a source of great interest to mothers. After them followed a chim-
panzee, and a serpent-charmer, and a whole forest-full of humming-
birds, and we cannot recollect what else. All of them, however, were
great attractions in their way; in fact, it may be said that the animals
lately have completely taken the shine out of the actors. As the
theatres have gradually become more empty, the Zoological Gardens
have perceptibly become more crowded. What actor, recently, has
had anything like the success that for a whole season ran panting,
pushing and squeezing after the Hippopotamus ? It was a fight of
parasols to get near him—it was a joy greater than that of a new gown
to have seen him! What is the reason of this strange preference ? Is
it because the public prefer Nature to Art?—or is it because the
actors speak, and the animals do not ?
Howevei’, the “Star system” is not likely to be so ruinous here as
at most places of entertainment. We need not say that the Zoological
Stars receive no salaries, beyond their board and lodging; and they
are not likely to ruin their managers with salaries like those. They
are paid regularly every day at the usual feeding hour', and we have
not heard of an instance of any animal, no matter how popular he may
have been, having struck for more beans, or refusing to make his
appearance unless he had a double allowance of paunches.
The latest “Star” at this establishment is the Giant Ant-Eater—that
is to say, if you can call him a Star at all, for, with a tail like his, he is
much more like a comet. It is indeed a tail!—so long is it, that you j
imagine it must have been originally published in four-and-twenty i
numbers, and that they are here ail bound up together. And a pretty
thick volume it makes too ! Daniel O'Connell’s “tail” must have-
been a wisp of straw compared to it. It hangs like a small willow
tree—only instead of being green, it is a dark badger colour, and, in
texture, resembles some of the long brushes we have seen made of
Indian grass. It is as flexible as a party-politician, for it can be turned
at will to any side. What is the use of such a tail it would be difficult
to say, though as far as that goes, you might as well ask what was the
use of a lady’s bonnet, for the cne is not worn more at the back than
the other. When the Ant-Eater lies down to sleep, he throws this
voluminous tail, like a Scotch plaid, round him, and we have no doubt
it keeps him very warm. So, you see, it is of some use after all; and,
for what we know, as he comes from a very warm climate, the Ant-
Eater may use his tail in the summer to fan himself with. We are told
that he is met with in the plains of the Brazils ; but, from his habit of
spreading his thick hedge of a tail all over his body, we should say that
he was much oftener found in the Bush. In fact, it is a complete furs-
busli—extending out nearly to the same length as his body. He is a
curious animal, take him altogether. In shape he reminds you some-
what of a German pig, which is not the most elegant object a person
can meet with on a long day’s journey; only a German pig would be
an English greyhound in symmetry by the side of him. The Ant-Eater
is as hairy as. a goat, and all along the ridge of his neck he carries a
long frill of hair that stands upright, short and thick, like a long plate-
brush turned upside down. Then the hair falls down his front legs,
taking the form of a pair of black top-boots. These front legs look at
first like hoofs, for the nails, the length of which any woman of spirit
would envy, are turned underneath, and the noise he makes in walking
upon them sounds exactly as if he had got clogs on. His snout, also,
is extremely peculiar, being admirably adapted, from its length and
narrowness, for getting the marrow out of a marrow-bone. It is longer
than any cucumber reared. by a penny-a-liner, only gradually tapering
towards the end, in which is enclosed the tongue, to which it seems to
act as a sort of case.
This case is made of bone ; and, really, when the tongue issues
from it, it looks like some very fine surgical instrument that had shot
out of its case upon a spring being touched. We hardly know what to
compare the snout to, unless it is a very long and thin strawberry
pottle, that some wicked boys have been tying over his mouth. This
strawberry pottle is his only feature, for his eyes are so small that they
are rather eyelet holes than eyes; but then, in its great bounty it more
than balances, and leaves a large surplus over, for the miserable
overty of his other features. We know of no other animal that could
e so easily led by the nose. As for his coat, the hair on it takes
various colours. You remark a long stripe of red running by the side
of a long stripe of black or yellow. The colours, on his breast par-
ticularly, are as distinct, and the lines as sharply marked, as the
different-coloured grains you see arranged in a seedsman’s window.
The poor animal looks remarkably stupid, but happy. He wanders
about his cage in a very inquiring manner, looking for his blessed
ants, whom he cannot find anywhere, and making with his claws the
noise of a Erench peasant walking in wooden shoes. He leads a very
fashionable life, being up generally all night, and sleeping all day.
There his accomplishments seem to begin and end; for he does not
sing, nor bray, nor bark, nor low, nor whistle, nor make any noise
whatever, except the one with his toe-nails, wdtich must be particularly
disagreeable during the night to the poor Chimpanzee wdiolives in the
next cage to him. We tried very hard to dive into the Ant-Eater’s
thoughts ; but, with all our diving, could not bring up any satisfactory
proof 'whether the beast was aware of the great popularity he had
suddenly rushed into. Like Byron, we suppose he awoke one morning,
and found himself famous. Let him not be too conceited, for “ Stars ”
l’ise and fall at the Zoological just as quickly as at other places.
“Missus has sent some new-laid Ants’ Eggs for the Mummy-cough-
ague Jewbeater.” [Myrmecophaja Jubata. Anglice: Ant-Eater.
Shameful Deafness and Defective Hearing.
The late delivery of letters, and the illegal retention of books and
prints by tbe authorities of the Post Office, nave occasioned many
remonstrances to be addressed to those officials, but without effect.
The reason probably will be found in a new proverb, which it has
become necessary to substitute for an old one. Instead of saying Deaf
as the Post, it is now usual to say, Deaf as the Postmaster-General.
PALMAM QUI MERUIT.
It used to be generally supposed that Lord Palmerston had suf-
ficient effrontery and self possession for the entire Cabinet, but circum-
stances have shown that he is the most retiring member of the
Government.
Tiie Coming Man.—Beform Bill.—Lord John Russell.
257
and now that’s gone they’re gone too. You may expel me, but you
j can’t make me forget, when I Had my big ouse which the Trench
have taken, how Lords, and Barnets, and Guardsmen, and the Hort
No Bless, and their females crawled and cringed and fawned to the
rich Yorkshire linendraper. And if I git right, as I don’t doubt to do,
I shall have ’em round me again. Money does the trick in England,
and it’s despicable cant to say it don’t, I am in the ands of the ouse.”
The Hon. Member’s address caused considerable sensation, especially
among certain strangers in the privileged galleries. Yin. _ Henry
Drummond was observed to rub his hands with much enjoyment.
Lord John Bussell’s amendment was negatived without a division,
Mr. Boeruck’s motion was then carried, and, on the motion of
Mr. Wilson, a new writ was ordered for Sunderland, vacant by the
expulsion of Mr. George Hudson.
THE FASHIONABLE ZOOLOGICAL STAR.
We are sorry to see that the Zoological Gardens have lately got
into the “ Star system.” Not content with a good working company
of bears and monkeys, they must have particular “ Stars ” to bring the
million in. Some time ago it was a hippopotamus, who made all
London run after him. Then there was the baby elephant, who was
a source of great interest to mothers. After them followed a chim-
panzee, and a serpent-charmer, and a whole forest-full of humming-
birds, and we cannot recollect what else. All of them, however, were
great attractions in their way; in fact, it may be said that the animals
lately have completely taken the shine out of the actors. As the
theatres have gradually become more empty, the Zoological Gardens
have perceptibly become more crowded. What actor, recently, has
had anything like the success that for a whole season ran panting,
pushing and squeezing after the Hippopotamus ? It was a fight of
parasols to get near him—it was a joy greater than that of a new gown
to have seen him! What is the reason of this strange preference ? Is
it because the public prefer Nature to Art?—or is it because the
actors speak, and the animals do not ?
Howevei’, the “Star system” is not likely to be so ruinous here as
at most places of entertainment. We need not say that the Zoological
Stars receive no salaries, beyond their board and lodging; and they
are not likely to ruin their managers with salaries like those. They
are paid regularly every day at the usual feeding hour', and we have
not heard of an instance of any animal, no matter how popular he may
have been, having struck for more beans, or refusing to make his
appearance unless he had a double allowance of paunches.
The latest “Star” at this establishment is the Giant Ant-Eater—that
is to say, if you can call him a Star at all, for, with a tail like his, he is
much more like a comet. It is indeed a tail!—so long is it, that you j
imagine it must have been originally published in four-and-twenty i
numbers, and that they are here ail bound up together. And a pretty
thick volume it makes too ! Daniel O'Connell’s “tail” must have-
been a wisp of straw compared to it. It hangs like a small willow
tree—only instead of being green, it is a dark badger colour, and, in
texture, resembles some of the long brushes we have seen made of
Indian grass. It is as flexible as a party-politician, for it can be turned
at will to any side. What is the use of such a tail it would be difficult
to say, though as far as that goes, you might as well ask what was the
use of a lady’s bonnet, for the cne is not worn more at the back than
the other. When the Ant-Eater lies down to sleep, he throws this
voluminous tail, like a Scotch plaid, round him, and we have no doubt
it keeps him very warm. So, you see, it is of some use after all; and,
for what we know, as he comes from a very warm climate, the Ant-
Eater may use his tail in the summer to fan himself with. We are told
that he is met with in the plains of the Brazils ; but, from his habit of
spreading his thick hedge of a tail all over his body, we should say that
he was much oftener found in the Bush. In fact, it is a complete furs-
busli—extending out nearly to the same length as his body. He is a
curious animal, take him altogether. In shape he reminds you some-
what of a German pig, which is not the most elegant object a person
can meet with on a long day’s journey; only a German pig would be
an English greyhound in symmetry by the side of him. The Ant-Eater
is as hairy as. a goat, and all along the ridge of his neck he carries a
long frill of hair that stands upright, short and thick, like a long plate-
brush turned upside down. Then the hair falls down his front legs,
taking the form of a pair of black top-boots. These front legs look at
first like hoofs, for the nails, the length of which any woman of spirit
would envy, are turned underneath, and the noise he makes in walking
upon them sounds exactly as if he had got clogs on. His snout, also,
is extremely peculiar, being admirably adapted, from its length and
narrowness, for getting the marrow out of a marrow-bone. It is longer
than any cucumber reared. by a penny-a-liner, only gradually tapering
towards the end, in which is enclosed the tongue, to which it seems to
act as a sort of case.
This case is made of bone ; and, really, when the tongue issues
from it, it looks like some very fine surgical instrument that had shot
out of its case upon a spring being touched. We hardly know what to
compare the snout to, unless it is a very long and thin strawberry
pottle, that some wicked boys have been tying over his mouth. This
strawberry pottle is his only feature, for his eyes are so small that they
are rather eyelet holes than eyes; but then, in its great bounty it more
than balances, and leaves a large surplus over, for the miserable
overty of his other features. We know of no other animal that could
e so easily led by the nose. As for his coat, the hair on it takes
various colours. You remark a long stripe of red running by the side
of a long stripe of black or yellow. The colours, on his breast par-
ticularly, are as distinct, and the lines as sharply marked, as the
different-coloured grains you see arranged in a seedsman’s window.
The poor animal looks remarkably stupid, but happy. He wanders
about his cage in a very inquiring manner, looking for his blessed
ants, whom he cannot find anywhere, and making with his claws the
noise of a Erench peasant walking in wooden shoes. He leads a very
fashionable life, being up generally all night, and sleeping all day.
There his accomplishments seem to begin and end; for he does not
sing, nor bray, nor bark, nor low, nor whistle, nor make any noise
whatever, except the one with his toe-nails, wdtich must be particularly
disagreeable during the night to the poor Chimpanzee wdiolives in the
next cage to him. We tried very hard to dive into the Ant-Eater’s
thoughts ; but, with all our diving, could not bring up any satisfactory
proof 'whether the beast was aware of the great popularity he had
suddenly rushed into. Like Byron, we suppose he awoke one morning,
and found himself famous. Let him not be too conceited, for “ Stars ”
l’ise and fall at the Zoological just as quickly as at other places.
“Missus has sent some new-laid Ants’ Eggs for the Mummy-cough-
ague Jewbeater.” [Myrmecophaja Jubata. Anglice: Ant-Eater.
Shameful Deafness and Defective Hearing.
The late delivery of letters, and the illegal retention of books and
prints by tbe authorities of the Post Office, nave occasioned many
remonstrances to be addressed to those officials, but without effect.
The reason probably will be found in a new proverb, which it has
become necessary to substitute for an old one. Instead of saying Deaf
as the Post, it is now usual to say, Deaf as the Postmaster-General.
PALMAM QUI MERUIT.
It used to be generally supposed that Lord Palmerston had suf-
ficient effrontery and self possession for the entire Cabinet, but circum-
stances have shown that he is the most retiring member of the
Government.
Tiie Coming Man.—Beform Bill.—Lord John Russell.