DOI issue:
Volume XXVI
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16613#0054
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
47
WANTED—A CASUS BELLI.
His footmen and horsemen—his Cossacks and guns.
On our allies the Czar is quartering;
By Sinope’s shore the Euxine runs
Red with blood from Russian slaughtering ;
Of England and Prance the fleets advance
To face him, and his to face us ;
But, though ready for war, neither we nor the Czar
Can find a belli casus !
Oh yes ! wanted a belli casus !
Who can give us a belli casus ?
Mrs. Harris, no doubt,
Was hard to find out;—
But what’s she to a belli casus?
Without reason or ruth, the Czar passes the Pruth;
For assistance the Sultan prays us;
But what statesman can deem the mere crossing a stream
A sufficient belli casus ?
If the Sultan can’t see ’tis a mere guarantee,
His obtuseness doth sore amaze us :
We ’re his staunch allies, but in Western eyes.
Invasion’s no belli casus !
Still we want our belli casus ;
A regular belli casus !
Never were there two foes.
All agog for blows,
So hard up for a belli casus !
Says the Sultan : “Oh ho ! 1 see blood must flow
Ere army or fleet they ’ll raise us : ”
Oltenitza’s fight is fought—“All’s right!
Here at last is your belli casus ! ”
“ No,” quoth England and Prance,—“ if you advance.
He resists ; but a doubt still stays us ;
Whether getting a whack, and giving it back
Can be called a good belli casus.
No—give ns a belli casus ;
A completer belli casus !
His conduct shows us
He’s bellicosus,
But we don’t see our belli casus ! ”
“ As quiet we lay, in Sinope’s bay,
The Russian butcher slays us;
He shoots us down;—bombards our town ;—
Isn’t that a belli casus ? ”
“ Um—it might be ; but don’t you see
The same post that the news conveys us.
Says you couldn’t resist, and ’tis hard to twist
Mere butch’ry to belli casus—
’Twas clearly facinoris casus,
For which we’d fain pull his nasus ;
But—whatever our feelings,—
Ulterior dealings.
To ground needs a BELLI casus.
“ Still your conduct so brave, your crowm to save.
Under obligation lays us;
As your allies joint, we ’ll strain a point,
In default of a belli casus:
In spite of the shoal of Protocol
That in Stamboul’s strait embays us,
Our fleets shall sail, with the first fair gale ;—
That must be a belli casus !
To go so far may disgrace us—
But, not having a belli casus,
If there must be a war
Betwixt us and the Czar—
We must make our belli casus ! ”
The die is cast!—the order passed!
Three cheers the sailors raise us.
As ’neath clouds of duck, from taffrail to truck.
Sails that floating belli casus.
“ The Bosphorus past by the fleets at last,
When once we have dared to place us
On the broad Black Sea, our faults’t won’t be
If there’s not soon a belli casus.
As the Czar is so eager to face us.
If he’d only his belli casus.
We’ve done our best
To set doubts at rest—■
Aaid behold the belli casus ! ”
“We ’ll salute your foul rag of a Russian flag—
We ’ll embrace you if you embrace us;
By the Turks though we ’ll stand, by sea and land! ”
Quoth the Czar, “ Is’t a belli casus ?
Before we fight we must know outright
Lest we sink you or you chase us,
And get coming to blows with friends not foes—
Do you mean this for belli casus?”
Oh, dear! can nobody trace us,
The shape of a belli casus ?
We thought we had got one.
Now the Czar thinks it’s not one.
Is there such thing as belli casus ?
THE WIND THAT BLOWS NOBODY ANY GOOD.
“ When the wind is in the East,
It’s neither good for Man nor Beast.”
ABOUT BATS.
The question that has long divided the opinions of learned naturalists
—“ Do rats leave dangerous places P ”—has very lately been again put
forth, and has been submitted to the consideration of various dis-
tinguished individuals, believed to be admirably adapted to illustrate
the subject. The following letters are a few selected from many
received by an enthusiastic inquirer, who proposes to offer all his
MSS. to the hospitable pages (for they refuse nothing) of Notes and
Queries
“ The Earl of Derby presents his compliments to-, and though
it is not his custom to make any reply to any person who may not have
the honour of his Lordship’s acquaintance—nevertheless will make an
exception to his golden personal rule. His Lordship has no doubt
whatever of the fact that rats do leave dangerous places.—Has himseli
known a rat—a very distinguished rat—that for many years dwelt
and rejoiced in Mr. John Bull’s protected barn that—on his Lord-
ship’s accession to office—immediately, without so much as licking
his whiskers, quitted it.”
“ Mr. Disraeli has little time or inclination to discuss the habits of
rats ; but has no objection to inform his correspondent that for months
since he has not crossed the threshold of the Earl of Derby, or
entered the house of any other forlorn individual—(however be-starred
and be-gartered)—of that bigoted party.”
After such testimonials, it must surely be now received as an
established fact that—Rats do leave dangerous places.
The would be Scourge.
Not all his will the Russian Tyrant works :
He flogged the Nuns, but cannot thrash the Turk*,
A Land Swell.—A Lord of the Admiralty.
47
WANTED—A CASUS BELLI.
His footmen and horsemen—his Cossacks and guns.
On our allies the Czar is quartering;
By Sinope’s shore the Euxine runs
Red with blood from Russian slaughtering ;
Of England and Prance the fleets advance
To face him, and his to face us ;
But, though ready for war, neither we nor the Czar
Can find a belli casus !
Oh yes ! wanted a belli casus !
Who can give us a belli casus ?
Mrs. Harris, no doubt,
Was hard to find out;—
But what’s she to a belli casus?
Without reason or ruth, the Czar passes the Pruth;
For assistance the Sultan prays us;
But what statesman can deem the mere crossing a stream
A sufficient belli casus ?
If the Sultan can’t see ’tis a mere guarantee,
His obtuseness doth sore amaze us :
We ’re his staunch allies, but in Western eyes.
Invasion’s no belli casus !
Still we want our belli casus ;
A regular belli casus !
Never were there two foes.
All agog for blows,
So hard up for a belli casus !
Says the Sultan : “Oh ho ! 1 see blood must flow
Ere army or fleet they ’ll raise us : ”
Oltenitza’s fight is fought—“All’s right!
Here at last is your belli casus ! ”
“ No,” quoth England and Prance,—“ if you advance.
He resists ; but a doubt still stays us ;
Whether getting a whack, and giving it back
Can be called a good belli casus.
No—give ns a belli casus ;
A completer belli casus !
His conduct shows us
He’s bellicosus,
But we don’t see our belli casus ! ”
“ As quiet we lay, in Sinope’s bay,
The Russian butcher slays us;
He shoots us down;—bombards our town ;—
Isn’t that a belli casus ? ”
“ Um—it might be ; but don’t you see
The same post that the news conveys us.
Says you couldn’t resist, and ’tis hard to twist
Mere butch’ry to belli casus—
’Twas clearly facinoris casus,
For which we’d fain pull his nasus ;
But—whatever our feelings,—
Ulterior dealings.
To ground needs a BELLI casus.
“ Still your conduct so brave, your crowm to save.
Under obligation lays us;
As your allies joint, we ’ll strain a point,
In default of a belli casus:
In spite of the shoal of Protocol
That in Stamboul’s strait embays us,
Our fleets shall sail, with the first fair gale ;—
That must be a belli casus !
To go so far may disgrace us—
But, not having a belli casus,
If there must be a war
Betwixt us and the Czar—
We must make our belli casus ! ”
The die is cast!—the order passed!
Three cheers the sailors raise us.
As ’neath clouds of duck, from taffrail to truck.
Sails that floating belli casus.
“ The Bosphorus past by the fleets at last,
When once we have dared to place us
On the broad Black Sea, our faults’t won’t be
If there’s not soon a belli casus.
As the Czar is so eager to face us.
If he’d only his belli casus.
We’ve done our best
To set doubts at rest—■
Aaid behold the belli casus ! ”
“We ’ll salute your foul rag of a Russian flag—
We ’ll embrace you if you embrace us;
By the Turks though we ’ll stand, by sea and land! ”
Quoth the Czar, “ Is’t a belli casus ?
Before we fight we must know outright
Lest we sink you or you chase us,
And get coming to blows with friends not foes—
Do you mean this for belli casus?”
Oh, dear! can nobody trace us,
The shape of a belli casus ?
We thought we had got one.
Now the Czar thinks it’s not one.
Is there such thing as belli casus ?
THE WIND THAT BLOWS NOBODY ANY GOOD.
“ When the wind is in the East,
It’s neither good for Man nor Beast.”
ABOUT BATS.
The question that has long divided the opinions of learned naturalists
—“ Do rats leave dangerous places P ”—has very lately been again put
forth, and has been submitted to the consideration of various dis-
tinguished individuals, believed to be admirably adapted to illustrate
the subject. The following letters are a few selected from many
received by an enthusiastic inquirer, who proposes to offer all his
MSS. to the hospitable pages (for they refuse nothing) of Notes and
Queries
“ The Earl of Derby presents his compliments to-, and though
it is not his custom to make any reply to any person who may not have
the honour of his Lordship’s acquaintance—nevertheless will make an
exception to his golden personal rule. His Lordship has no doubt
whatever of the fact that rats do leave dangerous places.—Has himseli
known a rat—a very distinguished rat—that for many years dwelt
and rejoiced in Mr. John Bull’s protected barn that—on his Lord-
ship’s accession to office—immediately, without so much as licking
his whiskers, quitted it.”
“ Mr. Disraeli has little time or inclination to discuss the habits of
rats ; but has no objection to inform his correspondent that for months
since he has not crossed the threshold of the Earl of Derby, or
entered the house of any other forlorn individual—(however be-starred
and be-gartered)—of that bigoted party.”
After such testimonials, it must surely be now received as an
established fact that—Rats do leave dangerous places.
The would be Scourge.
Not all his will the Russian Tyrant works :
He flogged the Nuns, but cannot thrash the Turk*,
A Land Swell.—A Lord of the Admiralty.