Punch (26.1854)

210

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

PORTRAIT OF A RUSSIAN GENTLEMAN.

Behold that aspect of inflated pride !
Reality, no doubt, is there portrayed.

By hand of man was that resemblance made
Of Europe’s greatest living Homicide.

Bine Art is to foul object oft applied:

And natural effect of light and shade
May form the picture of a thing as vile.
Heaven bids the Sun on good and evil shine;
Makes it on Nicholas himself to smile.

Of him at whose fell deeds the demons laugh
A yet more speaking likeness there may be
Faintly, perchance, yon countenance malign
Denotes the scoundrel’s inner villany.

Whose full expression needs a photograph.

Notice of Motion.

THE GOVERNMENT COURIER WITH IMPORTANT DESPATCHES FROM

THE SEAT OF WAR.

By Mu. Bright. That as the English Govern-
ment seems to have declared War with Russia
exoressly lor the benefit of the Illustrated News,
and nobody else, and inasmuch as that paper is
evidently deriving the greatest advantage from
its prosecution, which is.u-pre than Manchester
is doing, that the proprietor of the said Illus-
trated News be called upon at his residence, and
politely requested to pay, out of his enormous
profits, the expenses of the War so long as it
continues.

CONSOLATION UNDER THE WAR BUDGET.

Let us hope our shelling out may have the

effect of shelling Cronstadt.

The First Bores upon Record. -
Roman Augurs.

-The

THE AUTOCRAT'S WAR SONG.

WANTED A HERO.

Ho! fetch my helmet hither, and bring me my cuirass,
Though I need no steel breastplate; no morion of brass :
Armed with the panoply of faith, shall I fear mortal man ?
Go forth, my hosts, to victory, and I will lead the van !

For wherefore should the scoffer, without rebuke, declare
That I have stirred the contest, which to brave I do not dare,
And send my slaves to die for me, but from the conflict skulk,
Content, within my guarded walls, to hide my coward bulk P

Give me my sword, which the profane affirm I dread to wield,
My jackboots, also, and my steed; myself shall take the field.
Against the bands of Mahomet in person I ’ll advance.

And charge the English heathen and the infidels of France.

Talk not to me of danger ! What, at my army’s head,
Shail I be less secure than on my throne, or in my bed ?
Can any failure or defeat, can life or honour’s loss.

Betide the champion orthodox—the warrior of - he Cross?

Never to be confounded I have proclaimed my trust
A hypocrite all Europe will account me, as it must.
At bullets or at bayonets if I betray alarm.

As if I thought such things could do my carcase

anv

harm.

I therefore of my forces the foremost man will ride,

And all the shots shall miss me, the swords shall glance aside
So shall I silence all the tongues that now against me wag.
And say that I can do no more than bluster, cant, and brag.

Milhous of lives in spending, my courage shall be shown,
No more of others only, for I ’ll expose my own.

III fight like Alexander and other conquerors old;
Shall Nicholas a warrior prove of less heroic mould ?

A French piece is now being performed at the St. James’s Theatre,
in which the hero is an English actor, who has become the object oi
the attachment of a young lady, whom he disgusts by pretending to
get drunk, because her father’s pride will not allow him to. consent to
the alliance. We have been rather amused by the critics in the daily
papers, who differ as to the actor whose life has furnished the anecdote
on which the drama is founded. One critic says it is Garrick, another
alleges that it is Kemble ; but whether Stephen, John, Charles, or
the late loud-tongued Harry, of the Cobourg in its most Cobourgy
days, no one can enlighten us. For our own parts, we see no need to
go back so far as Garrick, or even Kemble, for the hero who won t he
heart of a young lady in the boxes. We have seen young ladies at the
Victoria sensibly smitten by Hicks, and we have been told that
Gomersal in the height of his imperial career, had at his feet half the
milliners of Stangate.

The Garricks and the Kembles are not the only actors who have
won the hearts of the female part of an audience, nor do we think the
tragedians should be allowed the merit of fascination exclusively to
themselves, as if the tender passion could only be inspired by the
passion—anything but tender sometimes—of the serious actor: the
dress goes much further than the acting in these theatrical affairs ol
the heart, and we have seen the walking gentleman, while decorated
with spangles and bedizened with property stars, greeted with sup-
pressed mutterings of “ what a duck! ” from a female spectator, who
had evidently fallen deeply in love with him from the moment when he
threw back his cloak and announced his nobility by showing his glass
breast-buckle. We hope the friends of some of our living actors will
claim for them the interest which belongs to the “ professional,” whose
life may have furnished the incident that has given rise to the Erench
play of' “ Sullivan.” _

And when my foes are vanquished, as they are sure to be.
The knout I ’ll wave in triumph o’er all that now are free.
With absolute dominion the world at large I’ll bless.

All Parliaments abolish, and annihilate the Press.

Ny helmet therefore bring me, and all my warlike gear;

Hold . wait a bit—what ails me P I’m taken very queer.

Inose tidings from Odessa have troubled me with qualms,

Here ends my war-song for to-day—we ’ll now go back to psalms.

The Old Girls they ’ve left Behind them.

Those who wish to do a good turn to the wife of a soldier on foreign
service, cannot do better than give her a mangle. If any of our readers
should have a mother who is about to sell her mangle, we earnestly
entreat him to look out for the respectable wife of some soldier abroad,
and let her have it a bargain. Many a poor woman will be able to turn
an honest penny if she has the opportunity of turning a mangle.

Cause eor Rejoicing.—Paris may be France, but let us be thankful
that Manchester is not England 1