DOI issue:
Volume XXVI
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16613#0251
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
THE OPEK8NG OF THE CRYSTAL PALACE.
? ~—n HE 10th of June, 1854, is
destined to become a red-
letter day in forthcoming
almanacks, and to super-
sede such important and
mysterious announce-
ments as Blaise, St. Cyp.
Leonard, or JEnurchus in
all future calendars. The
Opening of the Crystal
Palace will be better
worth chronicling than
Rich. Bishop Chich., of
whom mention is made
iti our diaries, where the
word Rich prefixed to
Bishop reads remarkably
like surplusage.
Everything smiled on
the morning of the 10th
of June, in honour of the
opening of the Crystal
Palace. The sun smiled
on the chimney-pots; the
policeman smiled on his
beat; even the cabman
smiled on his fare, and
the vendors of spurious
“ Guide Books ” on the
road to the Palace smiled
in their (shirt) sleeves at
their customers.
The visit of Mr. Punch had evidently been the subject of much
anxious consideration by the authorities on the line of road, and
Policeman A 1, had drawn himself up—to his ulmost height, to look
in at the window of the cab which formed part of our escort.
On arriving at the Central Transept, we at once _ played our cards
(of admission) into the hands appointed to deal with them, and we
immediately “cut in” with our partners. On gaining the interior, we
were shown, with great politeness, the seat reserved for us; but
nobody knew the way to get to it. As it seemed to be fortified by im-
passable barriers, guarded by crowds of officials, each of whom was, no
doubt, in his way. a “ great gun,” we looked at the taking of our seat
as a piece of business almost as difficult as the taking of Cronstadt,
and accordingly after a little reconnoitring we sat down, as nearly
opposite the royal dais as possible. There we had an opportunity. of’
inspecting the Parnese Hercules, who seemed to be contemplating
with calm superiority, the failure of the police in the truly Herculean
task of keeping back the crowds, every individual of which seemed to
have some special reason for going into some special place, which had
been specially reserved for some other person. In vain was Mu.
Snooks assured that he was occupying the spot intended for the
Archbishop oe Canterbury, for Mr. Snooks had come resolved
to “have his see,” while Smith was, with difficulty, persuaded to
resign the place of the Prime Minister, into which the physical force
of the masses had, for a moment, carried him. Jones found himself
suddenly occupying the position of the Prussian Minister, and though
he was recalled most emphatically by several voices, it was not till the
police escorted him back to the barrier, that he consented to fill a less
obtrusive station.
The orchestra presented a magnificent blaze of white waistcoats,
producing such a brilliant effect that the dazzled eye sought relief in the
fur collars of the aldermen’s gowns, or in the hair of their heads, or any
other object of a soft and sombre nature. Wonderful as was the effect
of the harmony of a thousand voices, there was something so novel in
the harmony of a thousand waistcoats that, for some time, the
spectators seemed wrapped in the bosoms of the orchestra. With the
arrival of Her Majesty, whose punctuality is enough to shame half
the clocks in London, and put even the bell of St. Paul’s on its metal,
the business of the day commenced.
The presentation of the various Handbooks to the Queen, was
chiefly interesting to the assembled multitude for the opportunity it
gave of criticising the various degrees of dexterity with which learned
and scientific gentlemen can go backwards down a flight of steps—a
feat which requires. a Professor Risley, who perhaps from this
circumstance calls his gymnastic tricks a “ drawing-room ” entertain-
ment, rather than a Professor Porbes or a Professor Owen. Men
whose lives have been devoted to forward movements, are not well
calculated to take backward steps ; and it is no discredit to them that
they failed in a movement of a retrogressive character.
The books and addresses having been transferred to Lord Palmer-
ston, who never seems to feel that his hands can be too full, the royal
party paraded the building, and we were glad to see that the Queen
took the opportunity of aiming a tremendous blow at t he infinitesimal
bonnet mania, for Her Majesty wears a real and a sensible bonnet,
while many of her subjects w<mr a crown—and nothing but a crown—
as a substitute. Of all the shapes folly and fashion have taken, none
in our recollection has equalled the modern bonnet-shape.
After the departure of the royal party, the barriers were removed,
but such was the crowd, that even Punch found it difficult to circulate.
The Refreshment Rooms soon became a counter-attraction to the
numerous Courts ; but as we sipped some very bitter bad table-beer,
price sixpence per glass; we wondered where were the “ cheap and .
substantial viands” the directors had advertised. No doubt every
defect will be remedied, and the thousand attractions already on the
spot, will be multiplied a thousand times; but even at present there is
enough to see to repay the cost of a huudred visits. We advise the
whole world to get presented at all the Courts in the Crystal Palace,
where every Court that is worthy of the honour, is ably and faithfully
represented.
COMMISSIONER PHILLIPS AND EMPEROR NAPOLEON.
It is all right, at last, with Louis Napoleon. The English
alliance has, no doubt, done much for him: nevertheless something
was wanting to fix his destiny. That something the Emperor has just
conquered, in the admiration of Mr. Commissioner Phillips, who in
a review of “Napoleon the Third,” speaks of his proclamations as
“ redolent of the spirit [of what spirit did they smell ?] of the first
Napoleon, replete with all his fire, and breathing all his eloquence ! ”
It is said that Louis Napoleon is so much touched by the disinter-
ested tribute, that he has sent to Mr. Phillips a wig-box, with the
royal portrait painted at the bottom. Moreover, every day the Bar of
the Insolvent Court expect to see their Commissioner enter decorated
with the geranium riband of the Legion of Honour.
A Swim in a Sump.
“A Poor Dressmaker,” in a letter to the Times, conqfiains that
people bathe close to the Serpentine Bridge, over which she has to
walk of a morning. Her annoyance might be remedied. by looking-
hard into the sky, or bringing her bonnet forwards in defiance of the
reigning fashion, so that its sides might serve the purpose of “ blinkers.”
But this would not lessen the indelicacy of bathing in the Serpentine
near the Bridge, or anywhere else in that piece of fluid that passes for
water. Do the bathers know what it is into which they plunge ? If they
did, they would soon renounce all indulgence in a bath which, if dirt-
cheap, is proportionately nasty, and which, though it may not be costly,
is undeniably sump-tuous.
A Tip-topograpliical Definition.
An incurable punster, at present confined in Bedlam, declares that
Austria has so often been a bankrupt, and her exchequer at present is
in such a dreadful state of exhaustion that her title ought henceforth
to be changed to ExhAustria.
THE CZAR’S CELLAR.
Being at war both with Erance and England, the Emperor oe
Russia has his supplies of champagne stopped by the Erench, and we
take care to seal up all his ports.
Vegetables for the Army.
It has been proposed that the Commissariat should issue rations of
cauliflower to clothing Colonels, to compensate those gallant officers
for the loss of cabbage which they have sustained through a recent
arrangement.
AN ANGLO-ERENCH HINT TO NICHOLAS.
“ Mon cher, le Jeu ne vaut pas la ChandelleP
In other words, the game you are at present playing, my dear fellow,
is not worth one of your own tallow-candles.
Indecision.—The indecision of the King of Prussia is known now
by a different term—it is called “Berlin-Woolgathering.”
Literary Character of the Czar. — Nicholas has been the
author of great misfortunes to Russia. He is an author whose subjects
will soon be all threadbare.
Greece (neicly defined).-— Since Greece has been backing up Russia
it has been called “the Russian Bear’s-Greece.”
THE OPEK8NG OF THE CRYSTAL PALACE.
? ~—n HE 10th of June, 1854, is
destined to become a red-
letter day in forthcoming
almanacks, and to super-
sede such important and
mysterious announce-
ments as Blaise, St. Cyp.
Leonard, or JEnurchus in
all future calendars. The
Opening of the Crystal
Palace will be better
worth chronicling than
Rich. Bishop Chich., of
whom mention is made
iti our diaries, where the
word Rich prefixed to
Bishop reads remarkably
like surplusage.
Everything smiled on
the morning of the 10th
of June, in honour of the
opening of the Crystal
Palace. The sun smiled
on the chimney-pots; the
policeman smiled on his
beat; even the cabman
smiled on his fare, and
the vendors of spurious
“ Guide Books ” on the
road to the Palace smiled
in their (shirt) sleeves at
their customers.
The visit of Mr. Punch had evidently been the subject of much
anxious consideration by the authorities on the line of road, and
Policeman A 1, had drawn himself up—to his ulmost height, to look
in at the window of the cab which formed part of our escort.
On arriving at the Central Transept, we at once _ played our cards
(of admission) into the hands appointed to deal with them, and we
immediately “cut in” with our partners. On gaining the interior, we
were shown, with great politeness, the seat reserved for us; but
nobody knew the way to get to it. As it seemed to be fortified by im-
passable barriers, guarded by crowds of officials, each of whom was, no
doubt, in his way. a “ great gun,” we looked at the taking of our seat
as a piece of business almost as difficult as the taking of Cronstadt,
and accordingly after a little reconnoitring we sat down, as nearly
opposite the royal dais as possible. There we had an opportunity. of’
inspecting the Parnese Hercules, who seemed to be contemplating
with calm superiority, the failure of the police in the truly Herculean
task of keeping back the crowds, every individual of which seemed to
have some special reason for going into some special place, which had
been specially reserved for some other person. In vain was Mu.
Snooks assured that he was occupying the spot intended for the
Archbishop oe Canterbury, for Mr. Snooks had come resolved
to “have his see,” while Smith was, with difficulty, persuaded to
resign the place of the Prime Minister, into which the physical force
of the masses had, for a moment, carried him. Jones found himself
suddenly occupying the position of the Prussian Minister, and though
he was recalled most emphatically by several voices, it was not till the
police escorted him back to the barrier, that he consented to fill a less
obtrusive station.
The orchestra presented a magnificent blaze of white waistcoats,
producing such a brilliant effect that the dazzled eye sought relief in the
fur collars of the aldermen’s gowns, or in the hair of their heads, or any
other object of a soft and sombre nature. Wonderful as was the effect
of the harmony of a thousand voices, there was something so novel in
the harmony of a thousand waistcoats that, for some time, the
spectators seemed wrapped in the bosoms of the orchestra. With the
arrival of Her Majesty, whose punctuality is enough to shame half
the clocks in London, and put even the bell of St. Paul’s on its metal,
the business of the day commenced.
The presentation of the various Handbooks to the Queen, was
chiefly interesting to the assembled multitude for the opportunity it
gave of criticising the various degrees of dexterity with which learned
and scientific gentlemen can go backwards down a flight of steps—a
feat which requires. a Professor Risley, who perhaps from this
circumstance calls his gymnastic tricks a “ drawing-room ” entertain-
ment, rather than a Professor Porbes or a Professor Owen. Men
whose lives have been devoted to forward movements, are not well
calculated to take backward steps ; and it is no discredit to them that
they failed in a movement of a retrogressive character.
The books and addresses having been transferred to Lord Palmer-
ston, who never seems to feel that his hands can be too full, the royal
party paraded the building, and we were glad to see that the Queen
took the opportunity of aiming a tremendous blow at t he infinitesimal
bonnet mania, for Her Majesty wears a real and a sensible bonnet,
while many of her subjects w<mr a crown—and nothing but a crown—
as a substitute. Of all the shapes folly and fashion have taken, none
in our recollection has equalled the modern bonnet-shape.
After the departure of the royal party, the barriers were removed,
but such was the crowd, that even Punch found it difficult to circulate.
The Refreshment Rooms soon became a counter-attraction to the
numerous Courts ; but as we sipped some very bitter bad table-beer,
price sixpence per glass; we wondered where were the “ cheap and .
substantial viands” the directors had advertised. No doubt every
defect will be remedied, and the thousand attractions already on the
spot, will be multiplied a thousand times; but even at present there is
enough to see to repay the cost of a huudred visits. We advise the
whole world to get presented at all the Courts in the Crystal Palace,
where every Court that is worthy of the honour, is ably and faithfully
represented.
COMMISSIONER PHILLIPS AND EMPEROR NAPOLEON.
It is all right, at last, with Louis Napoleon. The English
alliance has, no doubt, done much for him: nevertheless something
was wanting to fix his destiny. That something the Emperor has just
conquered, in the admiration of Mr. Commissioner Phillips, who in
a review of “Napoleon the Third,” speaks of his proclamations as
“ redolent of the spirit [of what spirit did they smell ?] of the first
Napoleon, replete with all his fire, and breathing all his eloquence ! ”
It is said that Louis Napoleon is so much touched by the disinter-
ested tribute, that he has sent to Mr. Phillips a wig-box, with the
royal portrait painted at the bottom. Moreover, every day the Bar of
the Insolvent Court expect to see their Commissioner enter decorated
with the geranium riband of the Legion of Honour.
A Swim in a Sump.
“A Poor Dressmaker,” in a letter to the Times, conqfiains that
people bathe close to the Serpentine Bridge, over which she has to
walk of a morning. Her annoyance might be remedied. by looking-
hard into the sky, or bringing her bonnet forwards in defiance of the
reigning fashion, so that its sides might serve the purpose of “ blinkers.”
But this would not lessen the indelicacy of bathing in the Serpentine
near the Bridge, or anywhere else in that piece of fluid that passes for
water. Do the bathers know what it is into which they plunge ? If they
did, they would soon renounce all indulgence in a bath which, if dirt-
cheap, is proportionately nasty, and which, though it may not be costly,
is undeniably sump-tuous.
A Tip-topograpliical Definition.
An incurable punster, at present confined in Bedlam, declares that
Austria has so often been a bankrupt, and her exchequer at present is
in such a dreadful state of exhaustion that her title ought henceforth
to be changed to ExhAustria.
THE CZAR’S CELLAR.
Being at war both with Erance and England, the Emperor oe
Russia has his supplies of champagne stopped by the Erench, and we
take care to seal up all his ports.
Vegetables for the Army.
It has been proposed that the Commissariat should issue rations of
cauliflower to clothing Colonels, to compensate those gallant officers
for the loss of cabbage which they have sustained through a recent
arrangement.
AN ANGLO-ERENCH HINT TO NICHOLAS.
“ Mon cher, le Jeu ne vaut pas la ChandelleP
In other words, the game you are at present playing, my dear fellow,
is not worth one of your own tallow-candles.
Indecision.—The indecision of the King of Prussia is known now
by a different term—it is called “Berlin-Woolgathering.”
Literary Character of the Czar. — Nicholas has been the
author of great misfortunes to Russia. He is an author whose subjects
will soon be all threadbare.
Greece (neicly defined).-— Since Greece has been backing up Russia
it has been called “the Russian Bear’s-Greece.”