DOI issue:
July to December, 1854
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16614#0066
58
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
GORGEOUS
THE CZAR'S NIGHT THOUGHTS.
'Tis midnight—all is deadly still—
And I this silence dwell within ;
I, by whose solitary will
The world is roaring with the din
Of myriads that each other kill,
Because I am resolved to win !
Their howlings cannot reach me here,
Though far as Heaven they might ascend,
If Heaven indeed had any ear
To hear, or, hearing, would attend.
But Heaven if we begin to fear,
Then everything is at an end!
What groans, what agonising cries,
What yells, what ravings of despair,
In torment what a world of eyes
Uplifted, plead against me there;
Tor my confusion thither flies
How many a curse—how many a prayer!
I sometimes think there is a Power
Above—and then again I doubt.
Could I exist a single hour
In outraged Europe's face, without ?
Would men before me crawl and cower?
Yes—there's a Heaven, and I'm its Knout ?
And am I, like my hangman's thong,
Commissioned human flesh to tear
In chastisement for human wrong,
Until mankind no more can bear;
Then, soaked in gore, endured too long,
Cast by Eternal Justice—Where ?
Sarah Jane. " Oh, Betsy, Come 'ere, and bring Hisabeller ! We can see the 'oofs Tke Pleasantest Pinging in one's Ears.—
or the 'Orses ! ! " The Dinner-Bell.
CRUEL TREATMENT OF A RESPECTABLE PERSON.
To Mr. Punch,
" There is much said about the humanity displayed nowadays
in war. Enemies are treated with the most friendly consideration, and
belligerent armies proceed to the cutting of one another's throats, and
the blowing out of one another's brains, with the most exquisite
politeness.
" How comes it, that in our catalogue of things deserving of con-
sideration in war-time, we have not included 'respectable persons?'
' Respectable persons,' as the name implies, are eminently persons to
be treated with respect. This holds of all respectable persons; but
how much more does it apply where respectable persons are also
officials ? I have read, with equal pain and surprise, in the Times of
August 1st, in a letter from Baro Sound, how—
" 1 Captain Sullivan, being on shore to day, has captured a very Respectable
Person in a green coat, with brass buttons. He says that he is the Sheriff
of the Parish, and a Consul;
" In other accounts of the same incident I find this respected person
variously described as ' a policeman' ' a general officer;' ' a beadle,' c a
dignitary of the church,' and ' a high-bailiff,'
" Conceive the. feelings of a British beadle, who having gone down to
Ramsgate for the benefit of sea-air, should find his walk to Pegwell
Bay suddenly cut short by the appearance of a boat's crew of Russian
privateersmen, and himself—laced hat, official coat, staff and all—car-
ried off to St. Petersburg, and exhibited to the jeers of a brutal popu-
lace, ever glad to insult dignity in distress—perhaps to the taunts
of the Russian little boys—a class at all times difficult to impress with
awe. Nay, the stern and solitary policeman of Herne Bay, or the
gallant though stout artilleryman, who constitutes the garrison of
Brighton, is not safe, from this moment, if reprisals should be attempted
by the enemy. Realty, to read the paragraph, one would think
' respectable persons ' were a kind of birds, to be bagged at pleasure—
and green coats with brass buttons, a plumage to be described by the
naturalist. This respectable individual probably imagined that his
green coat and brass buttons rendered his person sacred. Perhaps he
was digesting a sober meal—perhaps protecting a peaceful population,
like the policeman of Heme Bay, or the Brighton artilleryman to whom
I have referred.
" In the name of the order to which I belong, I call upon the
authorities at home to interfere and insist on Captain Sullivan
restoring this man to his home and his official duties. The British
beadle recognises in him a man and a brother. He may be a sheriff—
perhaps a high-sheriff. Einland maybe advanced enough in civilisa-
tion to comprehend how admirably these higher functions may be com-
bined with the much-misunderstood and sadly undervalued duties of
Beadledom.
" At all events, I claim your sympathy for my Einnish brother, thus
rudely arrested, in the green coat and brass buttons of civil aadileship,
and I declare that I, for one, will be ready to hold out to him the right
hand of fellowship on his arrival, as a prisoner, on these shores.
" I remain, Mr. Punch, yours obediently,
" John Bumble,
" {Beadle and Pew-opener of St. Candlestick-cum-snuffers,
Vintry Ward without)."
The Greatest Event of the Present Session.
We think that the greatest event that has taken place during this
Session occurred on Eriday evening, July the 28th, when Benjamin
Disraeli actually passed a vote of censure upon himself! This censure
was for having passed a censure upon the Government, which he ought
properly to have taken to himself. The vote being_ put by the Right
Honour-able Gentleman, was carried without a division. At the con-
clusion of his speech, the talented Ex-Minister was surrounded by his
friends, and warmly congratulated upon the flattering unanimity of the
House.
a religion that no one owns.
The worst thing that can be said against Puseyism is that you never
by any accident hear any one openly avow that he is a Puseyite.
Surely that must be a strange religion that even its_ followers, who
practise it most, are ashamed to confess they belong to it.
Suspended Animation—The English for "Parachute."—Punch's.
Dictionary.
Sabbatarian Philosophy—The Philosophy of Cant.
Get Up.—Stopping in bed too long is decidedly bad for the temper
—even Port Wine gets crustier the longer it has been lying down.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
GORGEOUS
THE CZAR'S NIGHT THOUGHTS.
'Tis midnight—all is deadly still—
And I this silence dwell within ;
I, by whose solitary will
The world is roaring with the din
Of myriads that each other kill,
Because I am resolved to win !
Their howlings cannot reach me here,
Though far as Heaven they might ascend,
If Heaven indeed had any ear
To hear, or, hearing, would attend.
But Heaven if we begin to fear,
Then everything is at an end!
What groans, what agonising cries,
What yells, what ravings of despair,
In torment what a world of eyes
Uplifted, plead against me there;
Tor my confusion thither flies
How many a curse—how many a prayer!
I sometimes think there is a Power
Above—and then again I doubt.
Could I exist a single hour
In outraged Europe's face, without ?
Would men before me crawl and cower?
Yes—there's a Heaven, and I'm its Knout ?
And am I, like my hangman's thong,
Commissioned human flesh to tear
In chastisement for human wrong,
Until mankind no more can bear;
Then, soaked in gore, endured too long,
Cast by Eternal Justice—Where ?
Sarah Jane. " Oh, Betsy, Come 'ere, and bring Hisabeller ! We can see the 'oofs Tke Pleasantest Pinging in one's Ears.—
or the 'Orses ! ! " The Dinner-Bell.
CRUEL TREATMENT OF A RESPECTABLE PERSON.
To Mr. Punch,
" There is much said about the humanity displayed nowadays
in war. Enemies are treated with the most friendly consideration, and
belligerent armies proceed to the cutting of one another's throats, and
the blowing out of one another's brains, with the most exquisite
politeness.
" How comes it, that in our catalogue of things deserving of con-
sideration in war-time, we have not included 'respectable persons?'
' Respectable persons,' as the name implies, are eminently persons to
be treated with respect. This holds of all respectable persons; but
how much more does it apply where respectable persons are also
officials ? I have read, with equal pain and surprise, in the Times of
August 1st, in a letter from Baro Sound, how—
" 1 Captain Sullivan, being on shore to day, has captured a very Respectable
Person in a green coat, with brass buttons. He says that he is the Sheriff
of the Parish, and a Consul;
" In other accounts of the same incident I find this respected person
variously described as ' a policeman' ' a general officer;' ' a beadle,' c a
dignitary of the church,' and ' a high-bailiff,'
" Conceive the. feelings of a British beadle, who having gone down to
Ramsgate for the benefit of sea-air, should find his walk to Pegwell
Bay suddenly cut short by the appearance of a boat's crew of Russian
privateersmen, and himself—laced hat, official coat, staff and all—car-
ried off to St. Petersburg, and exhibited to the jeers of a brutal popu-
lace, ever glad to insult dignity in distress—perhaps to the taunts
of the Russian little boys—a class at all times difficult to impress with
awe. Nay, the stern and solitary policeman of Herne Bay, or the
gallant though stout artilleryman, who constitutes the garrison of
Brighton, is not safe, from this moment, if reprisals should be attempted
by the enemy. Realty, to read the paragraph, one would think
' respectable persons ' were a kind of birds, to be bagged at pleasure—
and green coats with brass buttons, a plumage to be described by the
naturalist. This respectable individual probably imagined that his
green coat and brass buttons rendered his person sacred. Perhaps he
was digesting a sober meal—perhaps protecting a peaceful population,
like the policeman of Heme Bay, or the Brighton artilleryman to whom
I have referred.
" In the name of the order to which I belong, I call upon the
authorities at home to interfere and insist on Captain Sullivan
restoring this man to his home and his official duties. The British
beadle recognises in him a man and a brother. He may be a sheriff—
perhaps a high-sheriff. Einland maybe advanced enough in civilisa-
tion to comprehend how admirably these higher functions may be com-
bined with the much-misunderstood and sadly undervalued duties of
Beadledom.
" At all events, I claim your sympathy for my Einnish brother, thus
rudely arrested, in the green coat and brass buttons of civil aadileship,
and I declare that I, for one, will be ready to hold out to him the right
hand of fellowship on his arrival, as a prisoner, on these shores.
" I remain, Mr. Punch, yours obediently,
" John Bumble,
" {Beadle and Pew-opener of St. Candlestick-cum-snuffers,
Vintry Ward without)."
The Greatest Event of the Present Session.
We think that the greatest event that has taken place during this
Session occurred on Eriday evening, July the 28th, when Benjamin
Disraeli actually passed a vote of censure upon himself! This censure
was for having passed a censure upon the Government, which he ought
properly to have taken to himself. The vote being_ put by the Right
Honour-able Gentleman, was carried without a division. At the con-
clusion of his speech, the talented Ex-Minister was surrounded by his
friends, and warmly congratulated upon the flattering unanimity of the
House.
a religion that no one owns.
The worst thing that can be said against Puseyism is that you never
by any accident hear any one openly avow that he is a Puseyite.
Surely that must be a strange religion that even its_ followers, who
practise it most, are ashamed to confess they belong to it.
Suspended Animation—The English for "Parachute."—Punch's.
Dictionary.
Sabbatarian Philosophy—The Philosophy of Cant.
Get Up.—Stopping in bed too long is decidedly bad for the temper
—even Port Wine gets crustier the longer it has been lying down.