DOI issue:
Punch's essence of parliament
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16615#0138
130
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
NOTION FOR A NEW TAX.
There is too much reason to fear that the
Chancellor of the Exchequer ?s at this
moment considering what new tax he shaJ pro*
pose on bringing forward His Budget after Easier.
We are happy to have it in our power to offer
him a suggestion for making things pleasant in
that respect—as far as it is possible to make
such things so.
The New Tax which we recommend is a Tax
on Livery. Already there is a Tax upon
Servants; but this Tax includes Waiters, who
are generally dressed like Clergymen, only a
great deal better than the majority of Curates.
It is the man, merely, that is taxed ; the absur-
dities superinduced upon him are ali free, except
powder. Now, we say, put a duty on the plush
also, and the shoulder-knot., and the cockade .
let every master or mistress be assessed for that
domestic whose hat, coat, or waistcoat is deco-
rated with lace, or who wears red, blue, yellow,
or green breeches. Let the tax be called the
Livery and Plush Tax.
Here is a tax which would fall on those who
can well afford it: a tax, not on a necessary, nor
even a luxury, but on a mere folly and absurdity,
which it would not abolish, but if it did, would
do an exceedingly good thing.
SHOWING THE DECENT MANNER IN WHICH THE FORM OF PRAYER
ON THE FAST DAY.
WAS RETAILED
Promotion by Purchase.
Hitherto, only such men as were born with
j silver spoons in their mouths could command this
promotion; but for the future, let us hope that
the silver test will be done away with, and none
■will be admitted into the Qu een’s Service but
1 those who display their Britannia Metal.
A SEAMAN OE THE OLD SCHOOL.
Happily the class of Trunnions is not extinct. There yet survives
at least one individual of that order of British naval heroes. Boxer
%t ill flourishes. Hurrah for Boxer ! What a fine old figure-head does
Admiral Boxer make in the evidence of Mr. A. Stafford. The
mrdical authorities wanted a steamer to ply between Scutari and Con-
stantinople. Mr. Stafford had an interview with Boxer on the
subject—subjoined is a portion of his examination in reference
thereto:—
“ What passed at that interview ?—It was a very short one ; the result of it was a
refusal to grant the steamer. Admiral Boxef. would not entertain the idea.
Can you not describe to the Committee what passed ?—Well! Admiral Boxer is a
seaman of the Old School, and he did not know my name when he spoke to me.
“ The Chairman. That would not have made any difference in his civility, I hope ?
(Laughter.)—He was afterwards very civil to me.
“ But what did he. say ?—[Witness was evidently very reluctant to repeat exactly
wnat tell from the ‘ seaman of the Old School,’ and the question was not answered.]
What did Admiral Boxer say F Well—nothing worse—let us hope
—than what he said in the presence of a certain clergyman, and for
which as the clergyman, the other day, told the committee—he apo-
logised. We may presume that he used nautical expressions—of the
Old School. Boxer appears to be rather addicted to this kind of speech,
by the examination as thus continued:—
“ Did he treat others on similar business in the same way ?—Yes.
“ Is it not a notorious lact that Admiral Boxer grossly insulted almost everybody
who applied to him on a matter ot hut-iness?—I cannot say he insulted me, but I
believe his language was often insolent to others.
“ Was it ever complaiued of?—Well, I think it was spoken of in the place rather as
a good joke than as a matter of complaint.”
Of course. Jolly old Boxer! Hough old Boxer! Tough old
Boxer! Fighting old Boxer too, doubtless if he can get a chance!
If abusive old Boxer also, wbat then ? Boxer’s bark is probably worse
than his bite—except to the enemy. But in the meanwhile must we
not also say obstinate old Boxer, impracticable old Boxer, blunder-
beaded old Admiral Boxer? And is it not time to add, superan-
nuated old Boxer? We should like now to see Admiral Boxer on
comfortable half-pay, standing at a club-window, with a great medal on
his coat hanging by a blue ribbon, and a doable eye-glass on his waist-
coat, suspended by a black one, and a large bamboo cane in his fist.
There it would delight ns to hear old Boxer growling at the Govern-
ment, and the existing order of things, and delivering benedictions on
* he people in the street, in the phraseology of a Seaman of the Old
School,
ON LORD LYNDHURSDS SPEECH ON PRUSSIAN
POLICY.
Bravely, wisely hast thou spoken, and thy stern words are vibrating,
Not alone in our own English ears, which heard thee with such pride.
Nor alone the tuneful echo of thy eloquent debating
Rings responsive in the hearts of those who battle by our side.
For wherever Falsehood’s hated, and where Treachery is odious,
And the wiles of Royal Pedants are a fingermark for scorn,
Shall the glad reverberation of thy noble words melodious
Bid the generous exult, and make the coward-hearted mourn.
And methinks poor Frederick William in his grand Sans Souci palace,
Must have felt his didl blood burning and his heart unkingly quail.
When lie read thy bold Philippic, and have vainly plied his chalice.
For his pulse is beating quickly and his sodden cheeks are pale.
And he hears a voice reproachful and he sees his grandsire scorn him,
With his cold grey eyes expressive from his portrait on the wall—
Does the conqueror of Zorndorff, with his cynic wisdom warn him,
That on Russia’s exaltation ever hangeth Prussia’s fall ?
And the gen’rcus German people, like that ancient soldier frowning.
On the dull scholastic sophistries which fill poor Fritz’s brain,
In their whisperings of shame, perchance may tell of men uncrowning
Monarchs who had lost their manhood, kings too impotent to reign.
Out upon thee, Frederick WAlliam ! shame upon poor Prussia’s
honour.
That a pedant and a trifler fills the mighty Frederick’s throne;
Rouse thee, arm thee like a King! lest the affront thou put upon her
Wake thy country to the claiming of a spokesman of her own!
Lest thy father’s truckling maxims, which have been thy education,
Bring a terror, and dishonour, and invasion to thy gate :
While thou’rt left the bitter bye-word for the scorn of every nation,
And Europe views, unsorrowing, the Royal Trickster’s fate.
A Crooked Line.—The confusion on a certain uncertain Railway
is said to be such that there is scarcely a man that knows Ins own
Station.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
NOTION FOR A NEW TAX.
There is too much reason to fear that the
Chancellor of the Exchequer ?s at this
moment considering what new tax he shaJ pro*
pose on bringing forward His Budget after Easier.
We are happy to have it in our power to offer
him a suggestion for making things pleasant in
that respect—as far as it is possible to make
such things so.
The New Tax which we recommend is a Tax
on Livery. Already there is a Tax upon
Servants; but this Tax includes Waiters, who
are generally dressed like Clergymen, only a
great deal better than the majority of Curates.
It is the man, merely, that is taxed ; the absur-
dities superinduced upon him are ali free, except
powder. Now, we say, put a duty on the plush
also, and the shoulder-knot., and the cockade .
let every master or mistress be assessed for that
domestic whose hat, coat, or waistcoat is deco-
rated with lace, or who wears red, blue, yellow,
or green breeches. Let the tax be called the
Livery and Plush Tax.
Here is a tax which would fall on those who
can well afford it: a tax, not on a necessary, nor
even a luxury, but on a mere folly and absurdity,
which it would not abolish, but if it did, would
do an exceedingly good thing.
SHOWING THE DECENT MANNER IN WHICH THE FORM OF PRAYER
ON THE FAST DAY.
WAS RETAILED
Promotion by Purchase.
Hitherto, only such men as were born with
j silver spoons in their mouths could command this
promotion; but for the future, let us hope that
the silver test will be done away with, and none
■will be admitted into the Qu een’s Service but
1 those who display their Britannia Metal.
A SEAMAN OE THE OLD SCHOOL.
Happily the class of Trunnions is not extinct. There yet survives
at least one individual of that order of British naval heroes. Boxer
%t ill flourishes. Hurrah for Boxer ! What a fine old figure-head does
Admiral Boxer make in the evidence of Mr. A. Stafford. The
mrdical authorities wanted a steamer to ply between Scutari and Con-
stantinople. Mr. Stafford had an interview with Boxer on the
subject—subjoined is a portion of his examination in reference
thereto:—
“ What passed at that interview ?—It was a very short one ; the result of it was a
refusal to grant the steamer. Admiral Boxef. would not entertain the idea.
Can you not describe to the Committee what passed ?—Well! Admiral Boxer is a
seaman of the Old School, and he did not know my name when he spoke to me.
“ The Chairman. That would not have made any difference in his civility, I hope ?
(Laughter.)—He was afterwards very civil to me.
“ But what did he. say ?—[Witness was evidently very reluctant to repeat exactly
wnat tell from the ‘ seaman of the Old School,’ and the question was not answered.]
What did Admiral Boxer say F Well—nothing worse—let us hope
—than what he said in the presence of a certain clergyman, and for
which as the clergyman, the other day, told the committee—he apo-
logised. We may presume that he used nautical expressions—of the
Old School. Boxer appears to be rather addicted to this kind of speech,
by the examination as thus continued:—
“ Did he treat others on similar business in the same way ?—Yes.
“ Is it not a notorious lact that Admiral Boxer grossly insulted almost everybody
who applied to him on a matter ot hut-iness?—I cannot say he insulted me, but I
believe his language was often insolent to others.
“ Was it ever complaiued of?—Well, I think it was spoken of in the place rather as
a good joke than as a matter of complaint.”
Of course. Jolly old Boxer! Hough old Boxer! Tough old
Boxer! Fighting old Boxer too, doubtless if he can get a chance!
If abusive old Boxer also, wbat then ? Boxer’s bark is probably worse
than his bite—except to the enemy. But in the meanwhile must we
not also say obstinate old Boxer, impracticable old Boxer, blunder-
beaded old Admiral Boxer? And is it not time to add, superan-
nuated old Boxer? We should like now to see Admiral Boxer on
comfortable half-pay, standing at a club-window, with a great medal on
his coat hanging by a blue ribbon, and a doable eye-glass on his waist-
coat, suspended by a black one, and a large bamboo cane in his fist.
There it would delight ns to hear old Boxer growling at the Govern-
ment, and the existing order of things, and delivering benedictions on
* he people in the street, in the phraseology of a Seaman of the Old
School,
ON LORD LYNDHURSDS SPEECH ON PRUSSIAN
POLICY.
Bravely, wisely hast thou spoken, and thy stern words are vibrating,
Not alone in our own English ears, which heard thee with such pride.
Nor alone the tuneful echo of thy eloquent debating
Rings responsive in the hearts of those who battle by our side.
For wherever Falsehood’s hated, and where Treachery is odious,
And the wiles of Royal Pedants are a fingermark for scorn,
Shall the glad reverberation of thy noble words melodious
Bid the generous exult, and make the coward-hearted mourn.
And methinks poor Frederick William in his grand Sans Souci palace,
Must have felt his didl blood burning and his heart unkingly quail.
When lie read thy bold Philippic, and have vainly plied his chalice.
For his pulse is beating quickly and his sodden cheeks are pale.
And he hears a voice reproachful and he sees his grandsire scorn him,
With his cold grey eyes expressive from his portrait on the wall—
Does the conqueror of Zorndorff, with his cynic wisdom warn him,
That on Russia’s exaltation ever hangeth Prussia’s fall ?
And the gen’rcus German people, like that ancient soldier frowning.
On the dull scholastic sophistries which fill poor Fritz’s brain,
In their whisperings of shame, perchance may tell of men uncrowning
Monarchs who had lost their manhood, kings too impotent to reign.
Out upon thee, Frederick WAlliam ! shame upon poor Prussia’s
honour.
That a pedant and a trifler fills the mighty Frederick’s throne;
Rouse thee, arm thee like a King! lest the affront thou put upon her
Wake thy country to the claiming of a spokesman of her own!
Lest thy father’s truckling maxims, which have been thy education,
Bring a terror, and dishonour, and invasion to thy gate :
While thou’rt left the bitter bye-word for the scorn of every nation,
And Europe views, unsorrowing, the Royal Trickster’s fate.
A Crooked Line.—The confusion on a certain uncertain Railway
is said to be such that there is scarcely a man that knows Ins own
Station.