Punch (29.1855)

October 20, 1855.] PUNCH, OR. THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 153

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TERRIBLE PROPOSITION.

Ferocious Hau dresser. " Now, Sib, shall I take the Pints off
the Whiskers ?"

THE LEAGUE OF CROWNED SAUSAGES.

Me. Punch presents his most abjectly reverential compliments to
the King of Prussia, and all the rest of the German Sovereigns up-
wards, and hastens to retract every line and syllable which may have
appeared in this work, calculated to give the faintest offence to any one
of the aforesaid Sovereigns, from the pettiest in point of territory, down
to the pettiest in point of character—need he again name the King of
Prussia ?

He hopes that this retractation will be attributed to its proper cause
(conviction that he was wrong iu venturing to offer any criticism upon
the conduct of these illustrious personages), and not to the bewilder-
ment of terror, into which he has been thrown by the following
announcement of the intentions of the above-named Sovereigns to
castigate France and England.

In the correspondence of the Press, appeared, on Saturday, this
appalling notification:—

" How do the Germanic Sovereigns propose to combat the rational demands for a
reformed Confederation which shall form a barrier against Russia? Here is the
answer. By forming a league of neutrality, by attempting to induce Franca and
England, by persuasion, and that failing, by force—this is not said in jest—by foeob,
to accept such terms of peace as they, the Sovereigns of Prussia and Austria, with the
petty powers, shall deem satisfactory, and which shall at the same time repress the
liberalism of Germany."

" By Force ! " _ Yes, Clicquot and Company are going to put us
down! And high time, too. Nay, there must be no mistake as to the fact.
The writer of the above paragraph adds, that the King of Wurtemberg
and the King of Prussia met at Coblentz to establish such a league
as is above mentioned—the Great Sausage League is, we believe, to be
its historical name—and the Party of the Kings, which is self-named
the Parti de la Croix, has au accredited organ, which puts the threat
in explicit language, and proceeds :—

" Si la ligue des neutres se dressait compacte et resolue, si Von preparait des forces de
tei-re et de mer pour soutenir ses projets, si Ton s'avancait sur le theatre de la lutte avec
deri offres honorables et dignes, les parties belligerentes y reflechiraient avaut de
repousser cette action ou cette mediation, si Ton veut lui douner ce nom."

The League of Kings is to prepare its sea and land forces, to in-
timidate the Allies. The Great Sausage League will be down upon us
in thunder. Already, the terrible " sea forces " of Prussia are swarming
at, Dantzic , the mighty navy of Saxony is crowding the noble sea-port
of Dresden; Wurtemberg, from her ocean towers, is signalling her
ships to come from the uttermost parts of the world; and the huge
naval arsenals of Ratisbon and Munich are alive with the clang of the

shipbuilders of Bavaria. Russia has a fleet in the Black Sea ; but the
keels of her German avengers plough the surface of the deep, and the
sun of the Allies is set. Let us*make terms—the Sausage League tells
us that we shall "reflect," but we will not wait disrespectfully to
do that—let us accept "cette Mediation" and humbly ask what the
League would like us to do ? It is no time to trifle, now. The Baltic
Fleet is coming home, certainly; but what—even if we presumed to
think of resistance—could that do against the navy of Germany'?

There was another Sausage League in former days, and for its
exploits, are they not recorded by the faithful historian Rabelais?
The furious Sausages of the Wild Island, incensed at the acts of the
wise and kinoly-natured giant Pantagruel, and his friends, determined
to give him battle. It was fearful times for the giant. Paktagruel
was naturally " very much daunted," for after discerning " an ambus-
cade of squab chitterlings in a thicket," he beheld seventy-eight
standards advancing with the greasy army. "Their order, proud gait,
and resolute body made us judge that they were none of your raw,
paltry links, but old warlike Chitterlings and Sausages, and their right
and left flanks were armed with a great number of forest (probably
Black Forest) Paddings." But victory is not always to Kings or
Sausages. A legion of cooks was let loose upon the daring League,
and after some slashing and hacking and "slicing of the fat thieves in
twain, the survivors betook themselves to their heels, scampering off
with full speed, as if the Devil had come for them, while a wonderful
shower of Mustard suddenly descended and completed the rout."

What if it should be thus with the Parti de la Croix—the League of
Kings ? There are about seventy-eight standards in Germany, and
terrible as it may be to the Pantagruelian Alliance to see them
approaching, and the devices of the Crowned Chitterlings flying ia the
air, France and England may yet find artists who, having cooked the
Russian Goose, will not despair of being able to deal with the German
Sausage. Only, instead of Mustard, it is possible that the Anointed
may get Pepper.

" Coalized Kings threaten us," said Danton ; " we throw at their
feet our gage of battle—the head of a King!" The Allies will not do
this, for several reasons; one being that they would be perplexed to find
a King with a head at this present writing. But if the coalized
Sausages threaten us with their "forces de terre et de mer," Punch
thinks that—much as he grudges wasting good victuals—he must throw
at Clicquot's feet a pound of the most superior Eppings. Punch
retracts his retractation, and defiea e ven the mighty Armada of Germany.
A has les Saucisses !

THE POOR PHARISEES OF WORCESTER.

My Sabbatarian Magistrates—so you've had to repay
The man you fined illegally in such a cruel way,
For only cutting his own corn upon the Sabbath day.
Now meekly take your reprimand, and bear it as ye may.

Tremendous Justice Pearson, thou, a Reverend Divine,
Presiding Genius of the Bench, whose will imposed the fine,
At having to refund it, don't—I hooe you won't—repine;
You'll kiss the rod—I know you will—I should, wrere your case mine.

Of course you did not puff, Sir, and of course you did not blow,
When you got that note from Waddiagton—no, gentle Parson; no!
Your arms you folded on your breast; ejaculated " Oh ! "
And turn'd your pious eyes up, and said softly, " Be it so ! "

You still think you were right, Sir; never mind, Sir, never mind;
You 're a martvr, Sir; a martyr : be to martyrdom resign'd.
Bless you, Sir !— you leave Latimer and Ridley far behind
In suffering for conscience' sake, and that old Williams fined.

Old Williams, when he reap'd his corn on Sunday, still suppose,
Did not a necessary work ; to reap 's not one of those ;
But'tis a necessary work io shave each hair that grows
One single line above a wart beneath a Parson's nose.

TELE POOR MAN'S APOSTROPHE TO CONTENT.

" Oh ! Content, that to the Captive maketh bis chains as light as
feathers ; that to tne Pilgrim, boileth the peas in his shoes; that to the
Maid-of-all-work, ievelleth five pairs of stairs to the height of one ; that
to the Wife, sitting up ior her husband, giveth wings to the clock as
during the days of courtship; that to the School-boy, softeneth the rod
with flowers ; that to the Policeman, toiling on his beat, garlandeth the
area-railings with yards of blooming sausages and ropes of the duck-
suggestive onion—grant, that I may learn to pay my double Income
Tax with pleasure, deriving comfort and consolation from the
thought that I am helping, with my hard-earned contribution, to
give that cantankerous, obstreperous old Russian Bear a jolly good
thrashing !"