DOI issue:
January 8, 1859
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16623#0025
January 8, 1859.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
17
'Twas on the closing of the year,
About the time ot Yule,
Came four-and-twenty loose M.P.s
Tale-telling out of school;
There were some that raved, and some
behaved
Like old Lords of Misrule.
Ihey talked about with reckless minds ;
Reformers thick and thin :
All old-world caution laughed to scorn,
Called moderation sin:
Bade folks kick Briiish notions out,
And Yankee ones take in.
Such gen'ral shying ne'er was seen
Siuce knock-me-downs began •
They turned to mirth rank, wealth, and worth,
As but mob-flatterers can:
But the leader sat apart from all,
A melancholy man!
His broad brim off: his vest apart:
No tie his neck to squeeze:
In neglige unquakerlike,
And with spirit ill at ease,
As a tar who finds he's raised a gale
By whistling for a breeze.
Tired of distorting facts, to fig-
-ures tired of playing cook,
Ke fumed, he fretted: springing up,
Some moody turns he took.
When lo! he saw a small M.P.,
That pored upon a book!
" In what book read you, thus intent?
Progress's Tale, by Philp in ? *
—Progress ! Oh, happy they, their faith
Who on the word can still pin!—"
The small M.P. looked up, and said,
"I'm reading Johnny Gilpin"
The leader took six hasty strides—
(To such strides he was prone :)
Six hasty strides beyond the place,
Six hastier back anon:
And down he sat by the small M.P.,
And talked to him of John.
And how the tale that Cowper wrote,
And all the world doth know,
Deep allegoric meaning veils,
Its mask of mirth below ;
How few that start to ride can tell
How far they '"11 have to go.
And how John Gilpin is a type
Of Agitator kind;
The calender's hot, hard-mouth'd horse,
A hobby of the mind ;
Whereon who mounts by no means can,
Pull up when so inclined.
And he told of Revolutions wild,
" And things that then befall;
How there are times, when public men
Turn JoiiNNi Gilpins all:
To whom at speed, mobs shout " well done, « I m.ged them to clap on the break;
As loud as they can bawl." 1 swam against the stream:
But was called a bloated aristocrat,
THE DREAM OF JOHN BRIGHT.
While they have much ado to hold
The saddles they bestride,
Nor more control the steed they sit,
Than vessels do the tide :
It is the team has bolted: they
Are passengers inside.
" And well," quoth he, " I know for truth
Their pangs must be extreme;—
Stokers, who find they've stopped the valves,
When they wish to shut off steam—
Tor why—methought I was such an one
But last night—in a dream.
" A Brummagem Cromwell I would be,
And to the Speaker's face
As a fool's-cap treat his reverend wig,
As a bauble mock his mace.
Yes: now, said I, the old House shall die,
And a new House take its place
" Two monster meetings at Birmingham,
At Manchester but one;
A talk at Glasgow and Edinburgh,
And then the deed was done :
There lay the old Parliament defunct,
And I was the great gun!
" There lay the old Parliament defunct,
And 1 had dravv n the bill!
But, oh! the pricks and qualms I felt
When I had wrought my will:
There seemed a life in the Old House,
Not even I could kill.
" I thought of all my triumphs there.
In Corn-Law fights of fame;
Ten thousand thousand memories
Seemed to be crying ' Shame !'
I took my Cocker in my hand,
But the figures went and came.
" And now for my new Commons' House
The writs went through the land;
Whicn I had parcelled out in squares,
Symmetrically planned:
With household suffrage and ballot-box,
That numbers might command.
" The new House met: a motley set:
The place I hardly knew: *
What with Coxes multiplied by ten,
And the Pope's brass band by two.
The old House had few working men,
But none at all had the new !
'"' Y'et where the old House passed one bill,
The new one, it passed three :
Tor as all were of one way of thinking,
They didn't disagree.
And the know-nothmgs and the have-nothings
Worked well in companie.
" And first they voted each Member
Should have his pound a-day ;
And then they voted the National Debt
Should be sponged clean away;
And they organised labour on the plan
Of ' no work and good pay.'
My good M.P., remember, this
Was nothing but a dream.
" They voted the peoples of the earth
What the French call solidaire;
Went in for oppressed nationalities,
Big or little, dark or fair;
1 called for diminished armaments,
But I found myself nowhere.
" The Income-Tax they doubled soon
In country and in town:
Why should not the rich, they asked, pay up
A shilling in the crown ?
1 quoted M'Culloch and Adam Smith,
But was instantly coughed down.
" The old Trade-Combinations
Next reared their heads and thrived;
The statutes ' against Porestallers
And Regraters' were revived:
I saw Protection's old flag brought out,
And for shame 'neath the benches dived!
" O Lord! to think of their wild schemes,
And mine so right and fan ;—
Retrenchment, non-intervention,
Free-Trade, and Laissez/aire !
Where were my hopes from the House 1 had
made ?
And Echo answered, ' Where ? '
" I had raised a power I could not guide;
Like Gilpin, of whom you read;
1 meant to stop at Birmingham,
And got Lord knows where instead.
And the more I pulled at my horse's reins,
The straighter he kept his head.
" I couldn't appeal to Knowledge;
Household suffrage drown'd her cry:
I couldn't appeal to Wealth or Worth,
Or Rank their power to try ;
The ballot to all such influences
Had given the go-by.
" Then down I cast me on my face,
And did my best to weep :
And I wished the Old House alive again,
And the New One fathoms deep—
But 'tis easier to lose the road,
Than back to it to creep !
" Oh, me—that frothy, fussy House
Besets me now awake—
Coxes and Williamses by scores,
With each a speech to make;
And Ernest Joneses at intervals,
The monotone to break!
" And still no peace to my tortured soul
Will night or day allow;
That dreadful New House haunts my Ufa —
1 'm sitting in it Now! "
The scared M.P. looked up and saw-
Huge drops upon his brow.
That very night while Iris platitudes
That M.P.'s audience hissed,
A stout Quaker took tram for Rochdale
And resumed the spinning of twist.
And if John Bright bring in no bill,
* See --Piulp's History of Progress;" very nice reading Dy± , , ^ ^ ^ ' t ,P 71 -TiPC • >j
foi M.P.s of an mquiring turn of mind.—Ed. Pulled out by blood and steam— " | 1 can t say twill be miss a
Interesting to Debating Societies.
Supposing that we Englishmen had been bom in Erance, and that
the Frenclunen had been born in England, what effect do you fancy it
would have had on the course of the world's history ? We cannot help
thinking ourselves, and it is without the least vanity we say it, that we
should have driven the Erench out of England, and have made a colony
of the island, long ago !
Liberality of a Landlord,
We feel great pleasure m giving publicity to the fact that Geoffr?
Coverdale, Esq., with his accustomed liberality, and consideration
for the juvenile branches of the community, this year, on the Monday
holiday following Christmas Day, threw open his extensive and well
stocked preserves to the rising generation of marksmen home for the
holidays, and out shooting. Tliis is as it should be.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
17
'Twas on the closing of the year,
About the time ot Yule,
Came four-and-twenty loose M.P.s
Tale-telling out of school;
There were some that raved, and some
behaved
Like old Lords of Misrule.
Ihey talked about with reckless minds ;
Reformers thick and thin :
All old-world caution laughed to scorn,
Called moderation sin:
Bade folks kick Briiish notions out,
And Yankee ones take in.
Such gen'ral shying ne'er was seen
Siuce knock-me-downs began •
They turned to mirth rank, wealth, and worth,
As but mob-flatterers can:
But the leader sat apart from all,
A melancholy man!
His broad brim off: his vest apart:
No tie his neck to squeeze:
In neglige unquakerlike,
And with spirit ill at ease,
As a tar who finds he's raised a gale
By whistling for a breeze.
Tired of distorting facts, to fig-
-ures tired of playing cook,
Ke fumed, he fretted: springing up,
Some moody turns he took.
When lo! he saw a small M.P.,
That pored upon a book!
" In what book read you, thus intent?
Progress's Tale, by Philp in ? *
—Progress ! Oh, happy they, their faith
Who on the word can still pin!—"
The small M.P. looked up, and said,
"I'm reading Johnny Gilpin"
The leader took six hasty strides—
(To such strides he was prone :)
Six hasty strides beyond the place,
Six hastier back anon:
And down he sat by the small M.P.,
And talked to him of John.
And how the tale that Cowper wrote,
And all the world doth know,
Deep allegoric meaning veils,
Its mask of mirth below ;
How few that start to ride can tell
How far they '"11 have to go.
And how John Gilpin is a type
Of Agitator kind;
The calender's hot, hard-mouth'd horse,
A hobby of the mind ;
Whereon who mounts by no means can,
Pull up when so inclined.
And he told of Revolutions wild,
" And things that then befall;
How there are times, when public men
Turn JoiiNNi Gilpins all:
To whom at speed, mobs shout " well done, « I m.ged them to clap on the break;
As loud as they can bawl." 1 swam against the stream:
But was called a bloated aristocrat,
THE DREAM OF JOHN BRIGHT.
While they have much ado to hold
The saddles they bestride,
Nor more control the steed they sit,
Than vessels do the tide :
It is the team has bolted: they
Are passengers inside.
" And well," quoth he, " I know for truth
Their pangs must be extreme;—
Stokers, who find they've stopped the valves,
When they wish to shut off steam—
Tor why—methought I was such an one
But last night—in a dream.
" A Brummagem Cromwell I would be,
And to the Speaker's face
As a fool's-cap treat his reverend wig,
As a bauble mock his mace.
Yes: now, said I, the old House shall die,
And a new House take its place
" Two monster meetings at Birmingham,
At Manchester but one;
A talk at Glasgow and Edinburgh,
And then the deed was done :
There lay the old Parliament defunct,
And I was the great gun!
" There lay the old Parliament defunct,
And 1 had dravv n the bill!
But, oh! the pricks and qualms I felt
When I had wrought my will:
There seemed a life in the Old House,
Not even I could kill.
" I thought of all my triumphs there.
In Corn-Law fights of fame;
Ten thousand thousand memories
Seemed to be crying ' Shame !'
I took my Cocker in my hand,
But the figures went and came.
" And now for my new Commons' House
The writs went through the land;
Whicn I had parcelled out in squares,
Symmetrically planned:
With household suffrage and ballot-box,
That numbers might command.
" The new House met: a motley set:
The place I hardly knew: *
What with Coxes multiplied by ten,
And the Pope's brass band by two.
The old House had few working men,
But none at all had the new !
'"' Y'et where the old House passed one bill,
The new one, it passed three :
Tor as all were of one way of thinking,
They didn't disagree.
And the know-nothmgs and the have-nothings
Worked well in companie.
" And first they voted each Member
Should have his pound a-day ;
And then they voted the National Debt
Should be sponged clean away;
And they organised labour on the plan
Of ' no work and good pay.'
My good M.P., remember, this
Was nothing but a dream.
" They voted the peoples of the earth
What the French call solidaire;
Went in for oppressed nationalities,
Big or little, dark or fair;
1 called for diminished armaments,
But I found myself nowhere.
" The Income-Tax they doubled soon
In country and in town:
Why should not the rich, they asked, pay up
A shilling in the crown ?
1 quoted M'Culloch and Adam Smith,
But was instantly coughed down.
" The old Trade-Combinations
Next reared their heads and thrived;
The statutes ' against Porestallers
And Regraters' were revived:
I saw Protection's old flag brought out,
And for shame 'neath the benches dived!
" O Lord! to think of their wild schemes,
And mine so right and fan ;—
Retrenchment, non-intervention,
Free-Trade, and Laissez/aire !
Where were my hopes from the House 1 had
made ?
And Echo answered, ' Where ? '
" I had raised a power I could not guide;
Like Gilpin, of whom you read;
1 meant to stop at Birmingham,
And got Lord knows where instead.
And the more I pulled at my horse's reins,
The straighter he kept his head.
" I couldn't appeal to Knowledge;
Household suffrage drown'd her cry:
I couldn't appeal to Wealth or Worth,
Or Rank their power to try ;
The ballot to all such influences
Had given the go-by.
" Then down I cast me on my face,
And did my best to weep :
And I wished the Old House alive again,
And the New One fathoms deep—
But 'tis easier to lose the road,
Than back to it to creep !
" Oh, me—that frothy, fussy House
Besets me now awake—
Coxes and Williamses by scores,
With each a speech to make;
And Ernest Joneses at intervals,
The monotone to break!
" And still no peace to my tortured soul
Will night or day allow;
That dreadful New House haunts my Ufa —
1 'm sitting in it Now! "
The scared M.P. looked up and saw-
Huge drops upon his brow.
That very night while Iris platitudes
That M.P.'s audience hissed,
A stout Quaker took tram for Rochdale
And resumed the spinning of twist.
And if John Bright bring in no bill,
* See --Piulp's History of Progress;" very nice reading Dy± , , ^ ^ ^ ' t ,P 71 -TiPC • >j
foi M.P.s of an mquiring turn of mind.—Ed. Pulled out by blood and steam— " | 1 can t say twill be miss a
Interesting to Debating Societies.
Supposing that we Englishmen had been bom in Erance, and that
the Frenclunen had been born in England, what effect do you fancy it
would have had on the course of the world's history ? We cannot help
thinking ourselves, and it is without the least vanity we say it, that we
should have driven the Erench out of England, and have made a colony
of the island, long ago !
Liberality of a Landlord,
We feel great pleasure m giving publicity to the fact that Geoffr?
Coverdale, Esq., with his accustomed liberality, and consideration
for the juvenile branches of the community, this year, on the Monday
holiday following Christmas Day, threw open his extensive and well
stocked preserves to the rising generation of marksmen home for the
holidays, and out shooting. Tliis is as it should be.