Punch: Punch (36.1859)

February 2G, 1859.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

89

ONE-ARMED ORGAN-CRUSHERS.

ha.i to do with our wounded ?
has been long a question
among military men, and
the problem has at length
been satisfactorily solved
by the starting of the
" Pensioners' Employ-
ment Society," which is
" patronised by the
Queen and E. M. the
Prince Consort," and
enjoys the farther patron-
age of F. M. the Prince
Punch. That the patron-
age of the public will also
be extended to it, after
stating this last fact,
there cannot be a doubt;
and if there were one it
would clearly be imme-
diately removed, when
the public is informed
of the nature of the
service, which the Em-
ployed Pensioners pro-
pose to undertake. A
letter from their captain
has briefly described
this:—

"With regard to their
utility, i think it is so appa-
rent that i will merely say

that they will carry parcels, deliver messages, hold horses, call carriages, lionise strangers and last, though not
least, should any person wish for deliverance from the plague of organ-grinders, he has only to secure the
services of one of these men, and should a few of his neighbours join, a weekly expenditure of Is. will insure
him peace."

Hearing this, who of the public will not patronise the Pensioners, and tender his sub-
scription for keeping them on foot ? Who that wants a horse held, or a cab called, or
an organ crushed will not willingly contribute his quota to their fund? It will be seen
that such subscription will not be merely charity. The patrons of the Pensioners will get
then- quid pro quo for the sums which they subscribe. The Pensioners have _ published a
fixed tariff of their charges; and the sums which they receive will not be charity, but pay.
As their captain has explained for them :—

" There are so few people who can find work for one-armed men, that many of them arc in a state ot
distress from want of it, and hence arises the necessity of their appeal, not for money, but for encourage-
ment in the occupation they have chosen."

And it is added, for the benefit of that part of the public whose Cautiousness is bigger
in the bump than their Benevolence, that—■

" With regard to the advantage of employing this particular class of men, it will not be denied that the
habits Stnd education of a soldier, his punctuality and precision, qualify him especially for this purpose ; and
in addition to this, the enjoyment of a pension that is liable to forfeiture in cases of misconduct affords
a guarantee to the employer otherwise unattainable."

We repeat, then, who can fail to patronise the Pensioners ? To say nothing of the other
fields of action they will take, doing battle with the organ-men will give them endless work.
Considering the enormous forces of the foe, such a campaign cannot but be a protracted one;
but the public cheerfully will subscribe to bear the cost of it. Who that has been ground
down by our organ-grinding tyrants, would not give a shilling weekly to be freed from their
oppression ? Up, Pensioners, and at 'em! Upon them charge, ye Crushers! and charge
the public for your service. Armed with our good wishes, go and battle for our peace; and
one-armed though ye are, success will crown your efforts. The fight may be a hard one, but.
our Crushers will not shrink from it. What though, it is true, they have to battle single-
handed ! heroes who have fought at Inkermann and Delhi are not the men to show the
white feather to an organ-grinder. That the enemy is Legion, no one can deny. Italian
boys and German bands are numbered in his ranks. But we may crush this Eoreign Legion
by an organised attack; and who are fitter for such warfare than our one-armed Organ-
crushers ?

MBS. CARDINAL.

The Polonius of the Erench Imperial Court the other day issued the subjoined official
announcement:—

"The Emperor will receive on Tuesday the 15th inst., and all the Tuesdays from the 1st March, the
cardinals, ministers, marshals, admirals, and other high functionaries, with their wives. The receptions
will commence at nine o'clock. The gentlemen must be in uniform."

Everybody has heard of the "Liberties of the Gallican Church." They seem to have
been extended. Cardinals, among the various high functionaries invited to the Emperor's
receptions, are to bring their wives. Perhaps their ecclesiastical uniforms will be addi-
tionally decorated with bows of white satin. Has this arrangement had the sanction of
the Pope, or have the Erench Cardinals merely taken Erench leave to marry ? Very
likely, Pio Nono has recommenced the career of a reforming Pope, and intends to permit
the marriage of the Roman priesthood. That apparent probability, no doubt, occasioned the
postman to be unusually loaded the other day with Valentines directed to Golden Square.

RONDELETIA.

{A Plagiarism from various Poeis.)

Down came Rondeletia, dancing,
Dancing, dancing down the lawn,
With her ancles glancing, glancing,
Hopping, hopping, hopping, skipping-,
Tripping, tripping, tripping, tripping,
Tripping, tripping like a fawn.

In her eye there was a gleaming,
In her hat there was a feather,

And she heard the buzzard screaming
To the bluebells on the heather.

High she held her dress from flowing,

A scarlet under vesture showing,
Like a red-hot poker glowing.

And she looked upon the mountains,
Where the stormy soul reposes,

There she saw the sparkling fountains
Trickle down among the roses,

Like the joy-drops down her cheek;
Trickle down among the willows,
Trickling, running, pouring, dashing.
Tumbling, roaring, foaming, flashing
Elashing, foaming, to the billows :

Oh, how strong! and oh, how weak!

So she went on dancing, dancing

To the music of the mind,
Like a Vision heart-entrancing,

Her gushing eyes with rapture blind.
And her heart with tumult heaving,
With a joyousness of grieving,
And a darkness and a brightness,
And an aching and a lightness,
And a flowing and a tightness,
And a blessedness of burning,
And intensity of yearning,
And a thrilling effervescence,
And a calm profound quiescence.

As she went on dancing, dancing,

In the sphere of Spirit Powers,
Through the forest glade advancing,

Rondeletia thought of flowers.
Of the loving laurustinus,

And the tulip and acanthus,
And the dahlia's royal highness,

And eternal amaranthus,

The terrible tiger-lily,

The rose and daffy-down-dill}',

And the jealous polyanthus.

Still she went on dancing, dancing,
With those blue eyes blindly gushing,

All the quags and puddles chancing,
Till she neared a torrent rushing,

Which a rugged plank had gotten

O'er it—and the plank was rotten!

On she danced—without a shiver—
Danced upon the rotten plank:

Crash—and she was in the river!
Can it be that there she sank,
And the trout and jack did get her,
And the eels and lampreys eat her,
And that the kingfisher drest
With her silken hah his nest 9

No ! she floated down the tide,

Sailing like a Water Queen,
On her scarlet vesture wide

Spread with ample Crinoline.
And the fishes never got her,

No kingfisher took her hair,
And she never fed the otter:

Her the waves in safety bare
To a ford, where she got out,

And dished the jack, and eels, and trffil

An Universal Eavourite.—Generally, an
universal fool, or else an universal humbug.