Punch: Punch (36.1859)

April 2, 1859.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

13(J

thinks proper." Hitherto, we have t)o often served our troops as

A COOL DEMAND. Lord Chesterfield recommended his son to serve cucumbers:—we

m M1 . j ,. , •■ j • o„ m-„„ -xi, have first taken infinite pains in drilling and dressing them for service--

The foUowmg advertisement has appeared m the Times with an and ^ ^m £ Let J, ^ ^ Indian A ^

address which, as we ve not been paid to do so, we don t choose to ^ , g ^ ^ Qne ^ wM(^ & ^ red ^ heucefor£h be

msert;— followed.

NEAPOLITAN ICEMAKER WANTED. Only an artist need =---- = _

apply.

We infer from this announcement that Naples is a place which is OFFICIAL SECRECY.

famous for its ice; and this, as Bomba the Hot-headed has resided In Qne , of th Morning Post read that at Woolwich:—
there, surprises us. We should have fancied that the presence ot so , * » ' .

i vV • u "u„..„ ,^ l,;„),l„ ™,^aJ -flic fom-noTQtnrA Sir William Aemstrong s gun, after a succession of trials, has been removed

sulphurous a sovereign would have so highly raised the temperature fromthe garrisou to the Ro *| Arsenal, where it has been carefully stored with

of Naples and its environs, that to manufacture ice there WOUM be strjct orders that no person, whether connected with the establishment or other-

utterly impossible; and if any frozen substance' were by chance to be% wise, shall be allowed to view it without a special order for that purpose."
created there, we should have imagined it to be of the kind which In another we are told that—

SHAKSPEARE speaks of :— " Discoveries in these clays gravitate to the best market. Months ago the whole

" That is, hot ice and wondrous strange snow." |?cret of the Armstrong gun was sold by two malcontents to the Governments Of

' 6 France and America.

The intimation, that for this now vacant post of ice-maker " only an Moreover, a minute description of the Armstrong gun, a few weeks
artist" need take the trouble to apply, appears to us to be ot so a!?0j went the round of the papers. Does not the Royal Arsenal at
cucumbrian a coolness, that we really think the advertiser might him- Woolwich resemble a stable, and is not the, secret of the Armstrong
self have undertaken to be his own refrigerator An artist to turn gun like a horse) and the precaution of preventing any unauthorised
ice-man!—our blood freezes at the thought! there are artists, it is person from viewing that invention, verv much like the providence of
true, whose pictures don t sell over well ; and who, instead oi making cl0Smg the entrance of the quadruped's abode, at a period subsequent
water-colours, might make more by making ice But were this low to the feiouious abduction of the noble animal,
money-grubbing spirit to be prevalent, how would it be deplored by ail
the lovers of high art! Were artists to exchange the palette for the
ice-pail, the only views the world would get from them would thence-
forth be dissolving ones. There would, of course, be soon an end to
all water-colour drawings, if the water were drawn merely for the
sake of making ice. No, no !—we can't hear of it. However pleasant
NeapoUtan ice may be, we cannot spare our rising Cattermoles and
Prouts to manufacture it. Such gems of the first water (colour) are
very much too precious to be thrown away in ice-making. No, no !—
it won't do. vhacun a son Protjt. Oil-painting may, perhaps, be
thought a slippery path to fortune, but it surely cannot be so slippery
as ice. Anyhow, we feel assured that, were an artist to turn ice-man,
if not in purse, at least in person, he would soon be in an ice mess.

I 'M A SKUNK !

Song for the Hanfcec 3fcgw.

I'm a Skunk, I'm a Skunk, I'm the Skunk of the Press !
I've the talent of being offensive, I guess ;
When I let off my spite you were best up a tree,
For the world contains nothing so noisome as me.

I'm a Skunk, I 'in a Skunk; 'tis my line to disclose
Any fact that can pain any gentleman's nose,
Any secret that snobs odoriferous find;
Por we critturs delight in the trail of our kind.

I'm a Skunk, I'm a Skunk, in a paper's employ;
With scandal and slander nice minds I annoy;
But I yield every loafer the sweetest content,
With the reek of the trash, true or false, which I vent.

I'm a Skunk, I'm a Skunk, I creep up the back stairs,
Where I learn, to reveal, people's private affairs.
Kick me down if you dare—you '11 repent of the act,
Por a Skunk pays you out, though he runs when attacked.

I'm a Skunk, I'm a Skunk—don't provoke me—take heed,
You have now in Old England some beasts of my breed:
Touch us not—we fume worst when we 're most in a funk;
I'm a varmint—beware ! I'm a Skunk, I'm a Skunk!

POPISH BOYS PLAYING WITH FIRE.

A Howling mob at Ennis, the other day, burnt in effigy Me. Fitz-
gerald, member for the borough, because he had, as Attomey-

A GREAT BLOW TO BfJCKRAM. General for Ireland, held a brief for the Crown in the prosecution of

-n , „ (j, , • Tv a, i m,. , . , , . Priests Conway and Ryan. This rabble stopped before the house of

People talk ot the fall m Indian Stocks. This certainly does not a Mk_ Considine, who addressed the rascals from a window, and in

refer to the Duke of Cambridge s Order to Lord Clyde, putting the course of Ms harangue is reported to have said:-

down stocks m the Indian Army. This mav be a fall m Indian «T *. • * «. v.- f * ,. , . , . ™. .„,,

o. i i j. -i. ■ j -j j • t j* o • i • x , ,, it. Let no one misconstrue the obiect of our meeting to-nignt. We stand up m

fetOCkS, but It IS a decided rise in Indian Securities. Let the soldier's defence of our religion and our priesthood, whom we revere, and shall ever bow to

Collar fall, even though the martinet's choler should rise. Down with with the greatest reverence and respect. I ask you, would you not spill the last

buckram, red-baize, and pipe-clay; and up with karkee COats, light droP of y°ur blood iu defence of your priests and your Church? (Yes, yes, and Cheers.)

continuations, long winds, unimpeded respiration, and free transprra- If ever the orator and his worthy hearers have an opportunity of
rion! These are the true military comforts in a tropical climate, carrying their determination out, and do not, as they certainly will,
Lord Clyde is a right hard-working soldier, and knows that the carefully neglect it, but actually execute it, and if all who share then-
health of his men is their best weapon, and the sun, strong drink, and , sentiments imitate their self-devotion, a very considerable quantity of
bad air, their worst enemies. j good-for-nothing blood—most of the ill blood which exists between

The Duke oe Cambridge deserves the gratitude of every one who Great Britain and Ireland—will be spilt entirely,
has a father, brother, relative, or friend, in the Indian Army, for But these fellows will never have a chance of bleeding in defence of
releasing the soldier from his leather dog-collar, and giving the Indian i their priests and their church. Unless they murder somebody on that
Commander-in-Chief the large discretion "to dress the soldier as he I or some other pretext, they will not even come to be hanged.