Punch (41.1861)

July 6, 1861.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

tragic predecessor, who upheld the British Drama by the force of the
upholder, and with Shakspeare, plus swell scenery, improved the
British mind. At the Haymarket the Overland Route has been revived,
with all its fun and merriment, and, I must add, all its faults. There’s
such exuberance of drollery in the Overland Route that all meretricious
ways of winning half a moment’s laugh might surely well be spared
in it, and 1 think it is in some degree the duty of a manager to prevent
the British drama from being found offensive to the most fastidious

taste. ,«^ D >»

“ One who Pays.

EATABLE BOUQUETS.

ccustomed as we are
to startling revela-
tions, with which
the penny papers
are continually pro-
viding us, we own
we felt a tingle of
surprise the other
morning at reading
that a process had
in Prance been lately
patented, whereby
flowers were made
edible, and bouquets
were made bonbons
most exquisite to
taste. How the ma-
gic is achieved we
have not yet been
informed, and we
don’t pretend to
guess ; but that j
nosegays should be
eaten is such a novel \
notion, that we in-
tend to lose no chance of catching by the button some scientific
friend, and extracting, if we can, a description of the process. At
present, cauliflowers are the only sort of flowers that we have ever
eaten, and although we have in eastern writings read of feasts of roses,
we have never met a traveller who has actually partaken of them. We
should almost as soon have thought of having a feast of tea-leaves as '
of sitting down to breakfast, lunch, or dine off roses ; and as for eating
a whole nosegay, as it seems may now be done, we should about as
much have dreamt of supping off boiled bandboxes, or of having pickled
goosequills or stewed spectacles for lunch.

We are of course accustomed to see flowers on the dinner-table, but
we have never yet regarded them as part of the repast. Now in
future we shall fancy they are put there to be eaten; and we shall ask,
if we so choose, for a small helping of peony, just as we might do for
half a slice of pine. Crocusses and cream will take the place of straw-,
berries, and one’s mouth will very likely water for geraniums as it now [
sometimes does for grapes. Now that flowers are found edible, there’s
no telling what queer floral dishes one may dine off, queerer even than
the entrees of chopped tea-leaves and salt cucumbers, which are among
the dainties of a dinner a la Russe. A plat of grassplat served au
naturel, may take the place of salad; and for something hot and
stinging, as a tickler to the palate, a dish of devilled nettles may be
cooked in lieu of curry, after which one will luxuriate in dandelion ice.
If flowers have as sweet a taste as they have smell, how gourmands
will delight when violets come in, and wait with growing gusto for the
early cabbage roses! Hashed calf’s head in future will give place to
mashed marigolds; and aldermen who now are satisfied with turtle,
will be heard singing the praises of good sunflower soup. A haunch of
venison will be followed by a bunch of fresh verbenas ; dahlia dinners
down at Richmond will supplant the Greenwich whitebait, and cold
cactuses for supper will quite suppersede hot tripe.

The only tiling we fear is if young ladies take to carrying eatable
bouquets, there will be an end to all the sentimental feelings with which
a fond adorer begs a flower from his fair one, that he may put it in his
button-hole or press it to his heart. Instead of doing this he would, if
it were edible, be very much more likely to put it to his mouth ; and
after having vowed that he would treasure it for ever, he would scarcely
be a moment in gobbling it all up. Moreover too the language of
flowers will no longer be suitable for purposes of sentiment; for, now
that nosegays may be eaten, a lovesick swain will shrink from so j
declaring his fond feelings, lest his gift should be returned to him, and
he be reduced to eating his own words. And just imagine the despair
of a sentimental youth, who, after having carefully composed a decla-1
ration in the form of a bouquet, should find his _ Angelina munching
lus fond phrases, just as coolly as she would a bit of bread and butter,
or a mouthful of dry toast!

FRENCH DIPLOMACY IN PLAIN ENGLISH.

M. Thouvenel has addressed to the Spanish and Austrian Ambas-
sadors a despatch in reply to their invitation requesting Erance to
co-operate with their respective Governments in upholding the tem-
poral power of the Pope. From the general style of this document,
and particularly from the subjoined piece of it, we conclude that its
presentation to their Ultramontane Excellencies was accompanied by a
polite intimation to the effect that they might put that in their pipes
and smoke it:—

“ The gravest dangers which now menace the temporal sovereignty of the Holy
See proceed, it is true, from without, and if the occupation of Home provides for
the necessities of the present, the future remains exposed to hazards which we
sincerely wish to avert."

This is just a diplomatic way of saying:—“Now mind, you two
blockheads, the immediate danger which the sovereignty of the Pope
over the City of Rome stands in just at this moment, is no doubt that
of annexation to the Kingdom of Italy, by the Government of Victor-
Emmanuel. For the present, perhaps, France may manage to sustain
the Papal chair on the points of her bayonets. That is all very well
for the time being, but this state of things won’t last, and what you
have to fear by-ana-by is, the dissolution of the Papal monarchy from
internal causes. The probability is, that the temporal subjects of his
Holiness, tired of the coercion to which they are subjected for the sup-
posed interests of religion, will at length begin to listen to the argu-
ments of those who maintain that his claims to infallibility, and the
vicariate of Christendom, are all bosh. The conviction that the
Pope’s spiritual supremacy is a humbug, growing in Italy, could only
co-exist with submission to his temporal rule, under a pressure which
France would find it daily more difficult to exert. In short, the whole
papacy would ultimately blow up; and this is the catastrophe which
we want to avert if we can, though we are afraid it must happen sooner
or later. Let your master and your mistress know what we say, and
tell them to be quiet, and not allow their bigotry to induce them to act
like fools.”

NOT EXACTLY ROSEWATER.

A Correspondent of the Times gives the following directions for
deodorising that substance, which is the principal component of hot-
beds :—

“ If those who have stable manure will take 4 oz. of sulphuric acid and two
gallons of water, and mix them in a garden watering-can, with the rose on, then
sprinkle the contents over the manure every evening (supposing it to be a cartload)
it will counteract the unpleasant smell.”

The writer then goes on to explain that the graveolence of the fer-
tilising compound is destroyed by the sulphuric acid in fixing the
ammonia which that compound contains. Beginners in gardening
should understand that the deodorising process is effected solely by the
sulphuric acid, otherwise they may form a misconception on that point
from being informed that the materials to be made pleasant are to be
sprinkled with the contents of a watering-can which has the rose on.

APPEAL EXTRAORDINARY.

India now and then gives the highest tribunal of the British Empire
some strange work to do. The other day, for instance .—

“ The Judicial Committee of Privy Council sat on Saturday. An Appeal from
Bengal, ‘Lamb and Wise v. Bejoy Kishem Dogs,’ was heard.”

What can have been the matter in dispute between Lamb and Dogs ?
The bone of contention was perhaps one which Dogs had appropriated,
but it can hardly be conceived to have belonged to Lamb, though a
mutton-bone might have been the bone of one of Lamb’s ancestors,
and the property of Wise. An illustrated paper the other day pub-
lished a portrait of a little dog named “ Looty ” found in the Summer
Palace at Pekin. Looty is a nice Indian name for a dog; but let' us
hope that it is one not applicable to the Dogs Bejoy and Kishem.

The Way to Win Him.

A Fast Girl fails to catch a lord and master,
Because some other girls are rather faster.
And ev’n a fast man fears to take a wife,

If fast, who ’ll be bound fast to him for life.

rj'O NATIONS EMBARRASSED IN DIFFICULTIES.

As the

French, are about to vacate Syria, the Emperor Napoleon would feel obliged to
any Kingdom, whose affairs are temporarily embarrassed, and stand in need of a
satisfactory settlement, to apply to him immediately, without reserve, as h« is
extremely anxious to give his army some fresh occupation.

Vol. 41.

1—9!