Punch (41.1861)

August 3, 1861.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

The Doctor has been Sounding the Gentleman's Chest in the present Approved Fashion ; i.e., without

giving him previous notice.

Irascible Patient. “ Does it Hurt Me ?—Does that Burt You ? ”

BRITISH AND FOREIGN
BENEVOLENCE.

A Meeting was lately held at the
Mansion House to set afoot—or inau-
gurate as we say in Snobbish—a Hos-
pital for Incurables. Should the Pope,
or the Ex-King oe Naples, or the
Ex-Duke op Modena, or any other
of the ex-princes and ex-plagues of
Italy be forced to seek refuge in
England, it is to be hoped that the
doors of this charitable institution will
be open to them ; unless, inasmuch as
their incurability is mental, the bene-
volent, disposed to befriend them,
should think fit, in preference, to send
' them, along with their fellow-sufferer
Loud Norman by, to another and more
] appropriate asylum, situated, very
convenient for them all, hard by the
Roman Catholic Chapel in St. George’s
Fields.

“ A la Porte.”

The present Sultan promises to
be every bit as extravagant as his
predecessor, for we notice with indig-
nation that scarcely three weeks have
gone over his head, since his access to
power, and he has already appeared
before the public with not less than
three new Hatts ! !

Some persons reach their fourscore
years and ten, without having the
smallest idea of les convenances. People
have been knowm to eat peas with their
knife at ninety.

PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

July 22, Monday. Our old friend Normanby resolved on an heroic
effort in favour of his friend the ex-Duke op Modena. He moved for
some papers in order to give himself the opportunity of delivering a
very long cackle, which be supposed to be a speech, and in which he
abused Mr. Gladstone for having proved the ex-Duke to be a tyrant.
He read divers letters, and when he had to read his own compositions,
he gave them out with flaps of his wings, and plenty of sound, but Mr.
Gladstone’s replies he mumbled over so that they could hardly be
heard. So Lord Brougham told him, laughingly, when Lord Gran-
ville had done crying “ Shush, shush,” and driving the old goose out
of the position he had taken up. The whole affair would have suited
Michaelmas better than July. Lord Ebury made a speech in favour
of a revision of the Prayer-book, the Bishop of London told him that
no general revision would be tolerated, and Lord Westmeath com-
plained that the Church-service is terribly long. One has heard the
same complaint from ladies, who have piteously declared that two hours
in church is “ a long time,” but who have on the previous Saturday
night sat out five hours of the opera, and stood another half-hour wait-
ing for the carriage.

Once more we had Mr. Lever’s case. Now considering that he
came into Parliament “ a Liberal, but pledged to support any Govern-
ment that promotes the maintenance of Galway as a packet station”
{vide Captain Dod), this Irishman is scarcely a person in whom a
House of Commons can take any violent interest. However, Members
bore with a long speech in which he contradicted the charges made
against him by Mr. Irwin, and then walked out of the House. The
House, decided on not being further bothered with the squabbles of the
two Irishmen, and proceeded further to consider the Lords’ amend-
ments to the Bankruptcy Bill. Having declared their own views, they
requested the lawyers to draw up reasons for such views.

Then came a smart debate on the British Museum, and Mr. Gregory
made an onslaught upon Professor Owen, for advocating a separate
asylum for Natural History. Mr. Layard complained of the want of
classification of objects, and, as he is to be a Minister again, Mr. Bunch
is glad to observe that the Member for Nineveh’s organs of order are
so .argely developed. Mr. Monckton Milnes also condemned the
state of “ congestion” in which the Museum exists. Peelides thought

that nothing but “pessimist” opinions had been advanced, but owned
that the subject demanded consideration. He bore tribute to the
splendid genius of Owen, which ought, Peelides thought, to have
saved him from such an attack as Mr. Gregory’s. During the recess
Government will think over the business, and talk to the Trustees.

Tuesday. The Irremoveable Poor Bill, the object of which is to make
the rates uniform in all the parishes of a union, and to make a three
years’ residence by a poor man effectual to constitute a “ settlement,”
instead of making five years necessary, as now, was debated in the
Lords, and carried, on Second Beading, by a majority of 9.

Lord Mayor Cubitt resigned his seat for Andover, in order to stand
for the City of London.

Lord John Bussell appeared in the House of Commons for the
last time. He was asked three questions, of no great importance, and
his last utterance in the capacity of an M.P. was to state that he had
read in a foreign newspaper (he can read foreign languages) that certain
English gentlemen who had visited the works of the Suez Canal had
been satisfied. But whether they had been satisfied that the thing
could not be done, or with the bitter beer at the various halts of the
omnibus that runs from Cairo to Suez, Lord John did not say. Soon
afterwards he shook hands with a few friends, including some of the
Opposition, and with the Speaker, to whom he probably said that if
the latter were good, they should meet again in an upper sphere (though
we mean to have plenty of work out of Mr. Denison before we let
him run to coronet) and then, exit Lord John Bussell, soon to be
Earl Bussell. In the morning he had taken leave of the City, and
expressed his hope that he should yet be able to do the State service.

Wednesday. The religious character of the day was marked by a
little Church Bate debate, and the subject was shut up for the Session,
everybody promising everybody else that they would have a jolly good
fight again next year. Secular matters to-day were not interesting, but
on the Lace Factories Bill a good spirit was shown, and something was
done for the further protection of women and children against overtime.
And a new writ was moved for London.

Thursday. The Lords had some more of India, and then went at the
University Elections Bill, that for voting by post. The Bishop of
London did not like it, and thought that at the last minute, when an
election was all but settled, some rural Dean from the wilds of Cum-
berland would come with a couple of hundred votes in his pocket, and