DOI issue:
August 17, 1861
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16868#0083
August 17, 1801.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
71
THE GAME OF CROSSING THE RHINE.
N Wednesday last week a
very pretty game of soldiers
was played on the Rhine at
Strasbourg. The 6th Regi-
ment of Pontonnier Artil-
lery, under the inspection of
General Sevelinges, per-
formed the amusing experi-
ment of throwing a bridge
of boats across that river.
It was as good as a play.
Our informant, the Times'
Paris Correspondent, tells
b _ us that—
“ A number of distinguished
persons who were invited to
witness the operation were ac-
commodated with seats on a
stage erected for the occasion.
The bridge was composed of 40
boats, and measured 240 yards
in length. It was completely
fixed in 45 minutes with a ra-
pidity seldom equalled.”
What a highly diverting
spectacle for the people on
the right side of the river,
the right side being understood to be the stronger side, the. side that
is right because it has might, but physically called the left side of the
Rhine ! General Sevelinges and his merry men of the 6th Artillery
Pontonniers threw a bridge of boats over the water from Strasbourg to
Kehi only for fun, as schoolboys say. He had no idea at the same time
of showing the Baden folks how soon the thing could be done in earnest.
They comprehended all this, and accordingly behaved with the utmost
politeness towards their military visitors:—
“ As soon as the bridge was completed, Generals Sevelinges and Bargella,
Colonel B^rckheim, and several of the persons invited, crossed the river to the
Baden side, where they were received by Baron Weiler, Commander of the fort
of Kehl, and by the corps of officers.”
They were received in the same playful spirit as that in which they
came:—
“ The Baden troops formed a line, and presented arms as the French Generals
and their suite passed. ”
The presentation of arms on the part of the Baden troops was evi-
dently intended to intimate that they took the mock invasion of their
country as a capital joke. Of course they presented their arms at their
French friends by levelling them at their heads, with the facetious feint of
going to fire at them as enemies. Not, however, that they meant to signify
that under the real circumstances then represented they would ever
dream of doing-any such thing. The game of invasion would be one
too serious to play with forces who were likely to resist an actual
attack. The operation of bridging the Channel with iron-plated
steamers, so as to render the landing of French troops possible on the
Kentish coast, is not one which our neighbours would be likely to per-
form in sport. Should they, however, think proper to indulge in such a
frolic, they would probably receive an intimation that we, in our insular
dulness, do not understand jokes of that'kind. No doubt, if they came
after that, they would be received with all martial honours; but those
honours would be naval and not military in the first instance. A
Channel Fleet (if there happened to exist one) would present arms to
them; but those arms would be chiefly Armstrong guns, shotted, and
there is too much reason to apprehend that they would go off. The
spree or lark of a descent on the shore of England would not proceed
and terminate so pleasantly as that of crossing the Rhine; which having
been accomplished in the manner above described:—
“ The bridge of boats was left open to the public for above half an hour, and the
small town of Kehl was crowded with French soldiers of all arms. Though the
crowd was immense, no accident occurred.”
It is to be apprehended that any sort of bridge, thrown, how jocu-
larly soever, across the Channel, would not remain open a minute
longer than the time wherein the British naval force could demolish it;
and if the small town of Dover were crowded with French soldiers of
all arms, it would be our fault or our misfortune that they had not all
of them been disarmed. Accidents perhaps, properly so called, would
not occur in the case supposed, because the artillery, which as aforesaid,
would go off, would not go off accidentally. On the other hand, our
lively neighbours, with all their mirth, and all their good nature, would
be equally apt to misunderstand and resent such a piece of practical
fun on our part as the rehearsal of a hostile movement on Calais or
Boulogne. Games of this kind are very apt to end in quarrels, and
when acted even on a small scale, unpleasantly affect the apprehensions
of bystanders. Our gallant allies would create the less alarm in Europe
if they would be content to practise pontooning on rivers of their own,
and not play at crossing the Rhine.
FOUR INSCRIPTIONS FOR A MONUMENT,
To be Erected in Virginia, on the Scene of the Great Stampede qf the
Federal Army, July 21, 1861.
FIRST FACE.
(BY THE TIMES’ SPECIAL CORRESPONDENT.)
Bull's Run.
Bull’s Run ? Which Bull’s ? Write out the name in full,
That when Posterity the tale shall con,
She may be thoroughly aware the Bull
Who made that run, was Jonathan, not John.
SECOND FACE.
(BY A YANKEE VOLUNTEER.)
Manasses Junction.
I, Jonathan, here own in confusion and compunction,
With a curse for those who blundered, and a blush for those who ran,
That in the composition of the said Manasses Junction,
There was too much of the asses, and too little of the man.
THIRD FACE.
(by a U. S. SENSATION REPORTER.)
Go stra-a-nger, tell, how for our country nigh.
Where yesterday we ran, to-day we lie.
FOURTH FACE.
(by A YANKEE NOTION-MONGER.)
Our Hobbes’s Yankee Lock henceforth the field.
To onr M’Dowell’s Yankee bolt must yield.
NOT A BAD COMMISSION.
There must be one person who has good reason to rejoice in the
absence of the Queen on all Parliamentary solemnities, and that is the
Lord Chancellor, who, we are informed by the papers, receives £500
every time he prorogues Parliament, and the same sum for opening the
Houses, “ by Commission.” The above are not bad fees, though we
cannot help fancying that many persons might be found who would
undertake to do the same sort of thing much more cheaply. For
instance, we are positive that onr old friend John Cooper would be
happy to go through the performance on any occasion for a ten-pound
note; and more than that, he would add considerably to the effect by
rounding the periods in the graceful inflated way peculiar only to prac-
tical elocutionists. We will be bound that the Queen’s Speech would
be read in such a style as it had never been heard before ! What can the
Lord Chancellor know about elocution ? Besides, only look at the
economy of the thing. Supposing, now, that John Cooper was
engaged to open and close Parliament at the rate of £10 for each cere-
mony, there would be a clear gain to the nation of £980 a-year.
Moreover, we would guarantee that, as often as painfully necessary,
John would not mind composing a graceful apology for the absence of
Her Majesty, and that he would not charge an extra penny for it.
His many years’ practice of appearing at the footlights with his hand
upon his heart, and entreating “the indulgence of his kyind friends,”
would recommend him of all others for this particular duty. We will
willingly bet one year’s entire income, if there is any Rothschild rich
enough to deposit so large a stake, that if the admired representative
of the Ghost in Hamlet were to read the Queen’s Speech, he would
draw a much larger House than the Lord Chancellor.
In addition, it is onr opinion that there should be some difference
between the payment of the two sums for the two different operations.
At present there is a shameful equality between the two which we
cannot help condemning as a most disgraceful disproportion. We
would willingly pay the Lord Chancellor any sum, no matter how large,
for closing Parliament, but then on the other hand we would begrudge
him the smallest possible coin for opening it. In fact, it is a great
question whether lie ought not himself to pay us for the latter ceremony.
It is so great an offence that he could not be fined too heavily for it.
A Disclaimer.
In a capital article on “ Scottish Character ” in the new number of
the Quarterly, quotation of an Aberdonian retort is made, with the
remark, “ Bunch translates this £ Do you want to argue, you beggar ? ’ ”
Mr. Bunch begs to say that he never translates anything; and may
perhaps be therefore reproached with want of humanity to the
dioceses of some of Shaftesbury’s bishops.
A Troubled Conscience.—The Toothache of the Mind.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
71
THE GAME OF CROSSING THE RHINE.
N Wednesday last week a
very pretty game of soldiers
was played on the Rhine at
Strasbourg. The 6th Regi-
ment of Pontonnier Artil-
lery, under the inspection of
General Sevelinges, per-
formed the amusing experi-
ment of throwing a bridge
of boats across that river.
It was as good as a play.
Our informant, the Times'
Paris Correspondent, tells
b _ us that—
“ A number of distinguished
persons who were invited to
witness the operation were ac-
commodated with seats on a
stage erected for the occasion.
The bridge was composed of 40
boats, and measured 240 yards
in length. It was completely
fixed in 45 minutes with a ra-
pidity seldom equalled.”
What a highly diverting
spectacle for the people on
the right side of the river,
the right side being understood to be the stronger side, the. side that
is right because it has might, but physically called the left side of the
Rhine ! General Sevelinges and his merry men of the 6th Artillery
Pontonniers threw a bridge of boats over the water from Strasbourg to
Kehi only for fun, as schoolboys say. He had no idea at the same time
of showing the Baden folks how soon the thing could be done in earnest.
They comprehended all this, and accordingly behaved with the utmost
politeness towards their military visitors:—
“ As soon as the bridge was completed, Generals Sevelinges and Bargella,
Colonel B^rckheim, and several of the persons invited, crossed the river to the
Baden side, where they were received by Baron Weiler, Commander of the fort
of Kehl, and by the corps of officers.”
They were received in the same playful spirit as that in which they
came:—
“ The Baden troops formed a line, and presented arms as the French Generals
and their suite passed. ”
The presentation of arms on the part of the Baden troops was evi-
dently intended to intimate that they took the mock invasion of their
country as a capital joke. Of course they presented their arms at their
French friends by levelling them at their heads, with the facetious feint of
going to fire at them as enemies. Not, however, that they meant to signify
that under the real circumstances then represented they would ever
dream of doing-any such thing. The game of invasion would be one
too serious to play with forces who were likely to resist an actual
attack. The operation of bridging the Channel with iron-plated
steamers, so as to render the landing of French troops possible on the
Kentish coast, is not one which our neighbours would be likely to per-
form in sport. Should they, however, think proper to indulge in such a
frolic, they would probably receive an intimation that we, in our insular
dulness, do not understand jokes of that'kind. No doubt, if they came
after that, they would be received with all martial honours; but those
honours would be naval and not military in the first instance. A
Channel Fleet (if there happened to exist one) would present arms to
them; but those arms would be chiefly Armstrong guns, shotted, and
there is too much reason to apprehend that they would go off. The
spree or lark of a descent on the shore of England would not proceed
and terminate so pleasantly as that of crossing the Rhine; which having
been accomplished in the manner above described:—
“ The bridge of boats was left open to the public for above half an hour, and the
small town of Kehl was crowded with French soldiers of all arms. Though the
crowd was immense, no accident occurred.”
It is to be apprehended that any sort of bridge, thrown, how jocu-
larly soever, across the Channel, would not remain open a minute
longer than the time wherein the British naval force could demolish it;
and if the small town of Dover were crowded with French soldiers of
all arms, it would be our fault or our misfortune that they had not all
of them been disarmed. Accidents perhaps, properly so called, would
not occur in the case supposed, because the artillery, which as aforesaid,
would go off, would not go off accidentally. On the other hand, our
lively neighbours, with all their mirth, and all their good nature, would
be equally apt to misunderstand and resent such a piece of practical
fun on our part as the rehearsal of a hostile movement on Calais or
Boulogne. Games of this kind are very apt to end in quarrels, and
when acted even on a small scale, unpleasantly affect the apprehensions
of bystanders. Our gallant allies would create the less alarm in Europe
if they would be content to practise pontooning on rivers of their own,
and not play at crossing the Rhine.
FOUR INSCRIPTIONS FOR A MONUMENT,
To be Erected in Virginia, on the Scene of the Great Stampede qf the
Federal Army, July 21, 1861.
FIRST FACE.
(BY THE TIMES’ SPECIAL CORRESPONDENT.)
Bull's Run.
Bull’s Run ? Which Bull’s ? Write out the name in full,
That when Posterity the tale shall con,
She may be thoroughly aware the Bull
Who made that run, was Jonathan, not John.
SECOND FACE.
(BY A YANKEE VOLUNTEER.)
Manasses Junction.
I, Jonathan, here own in confusion and compunction,
With a curse for those who blundered, and a blush for those who ran,
That in the composition of the said Manasses Junction,
There was too much of the asses, and too little of the man.
THIRD FACE.
(by a U. S. SENSATION REPORTER.)
Go stra-a-nger, tell, how for our country nigh.
Where yesterday we ran, to-day we lie.
FOURTH FACE.
(by A YANKEE NOTION-MONGER.)
Our Hobbes’s Yankee Lock henceforth the field.
To onr M’Dowell’s Yankee bolt must yield.
NOT A BAD COMMISSION.
There must be one person who has good reason to rejoice in the
absence of the Queen on all Parliamentary solemnities, and that is the
Lord Chancellor, who, we are informed by the papers, receives £500
every time he prorogues Parliament, and the same sum for opening the
Houses, “ by Commission.” The above are not bad fees, though we
cannot help fancying that many persons might be found who would
undertake to do the same sort of thing much more cheaply. For
instance, we are positive that onr old friend John Cooper would be
happy to go through the performance on any occasion for a ten-pound
note; and more than that, he would add considerably to the effect by
rounding the periods in the graceful inflated way peculiar only to prac-
tical elocutionists. We will be bound that the Queen’s Speech would
be read in such a style as it had never been heard before ! What can the
Lord Chancellor know about elocution ? Besides, only look at the
economy of the thing. Supposing, now, that John Cooper was
engaged to open and close Parliament at the rate of £10 for each cere-
mony, there would be a clear gain to the nation of £980 a-year.
Moreover, we would guarantee that, as often as painfully necessary,
John would not mind composing a graceful apology for the absence of
Her Majesty, and that he would not charge an extra penny for it.
His many years’ practice of appearing at the footlights with his hand
upon his heart, and entreating “the indulgence of his kyind friends,”
would recommend him of all others for this particular duty. We will
willingly bet one year’s entire income, if there is any Rothschild rich
enough to deposit so large a stake, that if the admired representative
of the Ghost in Hamlet were to read the Queen’s Speech, he would
draw a much larger House than the Lord Chancellor.
In addition, it is onr opinion that there should be some difference
between the payment of the two sums for the two different operations.
At present there is a shameful equality between the two which we
cannot help condemning as a most disgraceful disproportion. We
would willingly pay the Lord Chancellor any sum, no matter how large,
for closing Parliament, but then on the other hand we would begrudge
him the smallest possible coin for opening it. In fact, it is a great
question whether lie ought not himself to pay us for the latter ceremony.
It is so great an offence that he could not be fined too heavily for it.
A Disclaimer.
In a capital article on “ Scottish Character ” in the new number of
the Quarterly, quotation of an Aberdonian retort is made, with the
remark, “ Bunch translates this £ Do you want to argue, you beggar ? ’ ”
Mr. Bunch begs to say that he never translates anything; and may
perhaps be therefore reproached with want of humanity to the
dioceses of some of Shaftesbury’s bishops.
A Troubled Conscience.—The Toothache of the Mind.