DOI issue:
February 8, 1862
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16869#0067
February 8, 18fi2.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
59
STILL
HARPING.
THE HUBBARD MYTH.
ur friend Harper XIItrees,
destroyer of vermin, lias
actually been putting himself
forward on the American
question, and has been signi-
fying to Mr. Adams that he,
Harper, and some other
people in the Tower Hamlets,
are very much pleased that
we are not going to war.
Mr. Adams, who is polite-
ness itself, lias returned the
following answer:—
“TO HARPER
TWELVETREES, ESQ.
“ Sir,—I have the honour to ac-
knowledge the receipt of your note
of the 17th inst., communicating
to me a copy of the resolutions
unanimously adopted at a meeting
convened for the purpose of ex-
pressing the public satisfaction on
the receipt of the gratifying intelli-
gence that the prospect of a war
with the United States had been
averted.
“ I "beg in my turn to express to
you my
regret that as I am only a
lodger, I should not feel justi-
fied in putting the Government ot the United States to any expense for Washing-Crystals,
Bug-Powders, or any other ol' your inventions ; but 1 make no doubt that they are excellent j
things, and that your purpose will be answered by the publication of this ietter. As my
grandfather, the late Suakspeare, observes,—
“ Could'st thou but wash the linen of my land,
Could’st thou but catch the varmint what infests her,
I would applaud thee to the very echo,
And then do it again."
“ But, under the circumstances, all I can do is to subscribe myself, your obedient
servant,
“ London, Feb. 1.” “ Charles Francis Adams.”
“ Dear Mr. Punch,
“ The Times begins a leader, ‘ Mr.
Hubbard is great at a Negative.’ This does
not mean that the M.P. for Buckingham is a
photographer, but refers to the character of his
politics. But he is hardly to be blamed for this
characteristic. It is hereditary. The distin-
guished lady who founded the house of Hubbard,
or at all events whose history invariably occurs
to us when the name is mentioned, was in the
same line. _ She is first presented to us in con-
nection with a double negative, as every child
will remember. Perhaps the whole story is a
myth, symbolising the Church llate question
on which her descendant is busied. The Poor
Dog who wanted a Bone may symbolise the
Dissenter who very properly wished to finish
the Bone of Contention. Mr. Hubbard sought
in his Cupboard, that is, his intellectual re-
sources, but the Cupboard was Bare, that is,
his scheme was futile, and so the poor Dog got
none, or rather, the Church Rate question was
left unsettled.
“ One of the Authors of Essays and
Reviews.”
“ Court of Arches.”
Philidor in Arms.
Mr. Paul Morphy, the wonderful American
Chess-player, has abandoned the Chess-board, in
order to enter the Federal Army. He will find
his own tactics already in use there, with a slight
variation. The leaders have been playing a
dozen different games, blindfold,—only they have
not won any of them. The last moves, by tele-
graph, are White takes Castle (useless move)
and Black gives check. Of course Queen cannot
interpose.
LESION OF THE LUNGS OF LONDON.
Another wound, alas! is about to be inflicted on the lungs of
London. The right lung, as we may call Kensington Gardens, is
doomed to be traversed by an incision extending from Bayswater to
Kensington Gore. This cut, which is meant to connect those parts,
will go deep into the substance of the lung, in order that communi-
cation may be established below the surface, thus producing less dis-
figurement than what would attend a section barely superficial.
The necessity for opening this artificial channel in one of our most
vital regions, is created by the Great Exhibition, which represents those
aramount material interests whereunto an enlightened taste has
ecided that in future we must sacrifice every other consideration.
Still trees, buds, blossoms, greensward, have their charms, inferior
as these may be considered to the poetry of furniture, and other manu-
factures of a rich and magnificent kind. Trees, moreover, and other
natural objects, serve purposes of some utility, as well as the various
articles of luxury and convenience which are made out of them. They
have certain spiritual uses which minister to mental wants; turf
spangled with daisies and buttercups, for instance, and shrubs in bloom,
will shed on the soul of any one who has such a thing, an influence
which is not exactly the same as that exhaled by a Kidderminster
carpet, or by a wreath of artificial roses, albeit inside a bonnet, or even
by any but the very rarest of faces inside of the wreath.
These things considered,_ it seems very desirable that, as soon as the
approaching Great Exhibition is over, the opening which will have been
made through Kensington Gardens should be closed immediately, and
healed with all possible despatch.
Bayswater, however, wants a short cut to Kensington, and Kensing-
ton to Bayswater. But the cut need not be made through either of
the intermediate lungs of London. It might go beneath them so as to
avoid the lungs. A tunnel would answer the purposes of unsightly
traffic, and suit the convenience of persons who would have any prospect,
not their own private property, destroyed, rather than consent to go a
lew yards out of their way.
FAVOURITE AMERICAN DISJJ.
Wilkes, in pickle from the English rod.
The Modern Teacher of Geografhy.—War.
MONEY ARTICLE ON AMERICA.
In the Yankee House of Representatives, the other day, Mr. Val-
landingham introduced and carried a resolution requesting the Secretary
of the Treasury to furnish the sum total of the floating debt of the
United States, giving, as far as practicable, the heads under which the
said debt may be arranged. - The heads under which the United States
debt, whether floating or foundering, may be most correctly arranged,
are, one would think, loggerheads, which by going to with the South
the North has incurred the necessity of borrowing money. The floating
debt of the United States may be said to be represented by promises to
pay in the shape of banknotes, specie payments having been suspended.
As the old song says, “ A guinea will sink, but a note it will float.” The
creditor of the United States might add, with a slight variation of the
next line, “So I’d rather have a dollar than a one pound note,” or a
note for the equivalent of a pound in dollars. The United States debt
is a floating debt, but the money which they borrowed is all sunk, to no
better purpose than the vessels in Charleston Harbour. There is, how-
ever, some ground for the assertion that, since the Government of
Washington has been reduced to fly kites, the debt of the United States
is not a floating debt but a flying debt; but this is a question which we
must leave for determination to the wit and wisdom of the Stock Ex-
change, where it will doubtless be generally remarked that the suspen-
sion of cash payments in the United States is a dolorous business
particularly for those whom it will dish out of their dollars, and above
all, for the Government which, having no more dollars, must come to
grief. At the same institution, probably, the hope will, however, be
expressed that, whatever heads the floating debt of the United States
may have to be arranged under, the debtors, now themselves floating
upon a sea of troubles, may, notwithstanding the ill-will which they
have shown to this country, be enabled, after all, to keep their own heads
above water.
The Double Verdict.
Windham is sane; but England must be cracked
To bear such process as hath fixed the fact.
(Signed) Punch,
Grand Inquisitor.
“ Our American Cozen.”—Repudiation.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
59
STILL
HARPING.
THE HUBBARD MYTH.
ur friend Harper XIItrees,
destroyer of vermin, lias
actually been putting himself
forward on the American
question, and has been signi-
fying to Mr. Adams that he,
Harper, and some other
people in the Tower Hamlets,
are very much pleased that
we are not going to war.
Mr. Adams, who is polite-
ness itself, lias returned the
following answer:—
“TO HARPER
TWELVETREES, ESQ.
“ Sir,—I have the honour to ac-
knowledge the receipt of your note
of the 17th inst., communicating
to me a copy of the resolutions
unanimously adopted at a meeting
convened for the purpose of ex-
pressing the public satisfaction on
the receipt of the gratifying intelli-
gence that the prospect of a war
with the United States had been
averted.
“ I "beg in my turn to express to
you my
regret that as I am only a
lodger, I should not feel justi-
fied in putting the Government ot the United States to any expense for Washing-Crystals,
Bug-Powders, or any other ol' your inventions ; but 1 make no doubt that they are excellent j
things, and that your purpose will be answered by the publication of this ietter. As my
grandfather, the late Suakspeare, observes,—
“ Could'st thou but wash the linen of my land,
Could’st thou but catch the varmint what infests her,
I would applaud thee to the very echo,
And then do it again."
“ But, under the circumstances, all I can do is to subscribe myself, your obedient
servant,
“ London, Feb. 1.” “ Charles Francis Adams.”
“ Dear Mr. Punch,
“ The Times begins a leader, ‘ Mr.
Hubbard is great at a Negative.’ This does
not mean that the M.P. for Buckingham is a
photographer, but refers to the character of his
politics. But he is hardly to be blamed for this
characteristic. It is hereditary. The distin-
guished lady who founded the house of Hubbard,
or at all events whose history invariably occurs
to us when the name is mentioned, was in the
same line. _ She is first presented to us in con-
nection with a double negative, as every child
will remember. Perhaps the whole story is a
myth, symbolising the Church llate question
on which her descendant is busied. The Poor
Dog who wanted a Bone may symbolise the
Dissenter who very properly wished to finish
the Bone of Contention. Mr. Hubbard sought
in his Cupboard, that is, his intellectual re-
sources, but the Cupboard was Bare, that is,
his scheme was futile, and so the poor Dog got
none, or rather, the Church Rate question was
left unsettled.
“ One of the Authors of Essays and
Reviews.”
“ Court of Arches.”
Philidor in Arms.
Mr. Paul Morphy, the wonderful American
Chess-player, has abandoned the Chess-board, in
order to enter the Federal Army. He will find
his own tactics already in use there, with a slight
variation. The leaders have been playing a
dozen different games, blindfold,—only they have
not won any of them. The last moves, by tele-
graph, are White takes Castle (useless move)
and Black gives check. Of course Queen cannot
interpose.
LESION OF THE LUNGS OF LONDON.
Another wound, alas! is about to be inflicted on the lungs of
London. The right lung, as we may call Kensington Gardens, is
doomed to be traversed by an incision extending from Bayswater to
Kensington Gore. This cut, which is meant to connect those parts,
will go deep into the substance of the lung, in order that communi-
cation may be established below the surface, thus producing less dis-
figurement than what would attend a section barely superficial.
The necessity for opening this artificial channel in one of our most
vital regions, is created by the Great Exhibition, which represents those
aramount material interests whereunto an enlightened taste has
ecided that in future we must sacrifice every other consideration.
Still trees, buds, blossoms, greensward, have their charms, inferior
as these may be considered to the poetry of furniture, and other manu-
factures of a rich and magnificent kind. Trees, moreover, and other
natural objects, serve purposes of some utility, as well as the various
articles of luxury and convenience which are made out of them. They
have certain spiritual uses which minister to mental wants; turf
spangled with daisies and buttercups, for instance, and shrubs in bloom,
will shed on the soul of any one who has such a thing, an influence
which is not exactly the same as that exhaled by a Kidderminster
carpet, or by a wreath of artificial roses, albeit inside a bonnet, or even
by any but the very rarest of faces inside of the wreath.
These things considered,_ it seems very desirable that, as soon as the
approaching Great Exhibition is over, the opening which will have been
made through Kensington Gardens should be closed immediately, and
healed with all possible despatch.
Bayswater, however, wants a short cut to Kensington, and Kensing-
ton to Bayswater. But the cut need not be made through either of
the intermediate lungs of London. It might go beneath them so as to
avoid the lungs. A tunnel would answer the purposes of unsightly
traffic, and suit the convenience of persons who would have any prospect,
not their own private property, destroyed, rather than consent to go a
lew yards out of their way.
FAVOURITE AMERICAN DISJJ.
Wilkes, in pickle from the English rod.
The Modern Teacher of Geografhy.—War.
MONEY ARTICLE ON AMERICA.
In the Yankee House of Representatives, the other day, Mr. Val-
landingham introduced and carried a resolution requesting the Secretary
of the Treasury to furnish the sum total of the floating debt of the
United States, giving, as far as practicable, the heads under which the
said debt may be arranged. - The heads under which the United States
debt, whether floating or foundering, may be most correctly arranged,
are, one would think, loggerheads, which by going to with the South
the North has incurred the necessity of borrowing money. The floating
debt of the United States may be said to be represented by promises to
pay in the shape of banknotes, specie payments having been suspended.
As the old song says, “ A guinea will sink, but a note it will float.” The
creditor of the United States might add, with a slight variation of the
next line, “So I’d rather have a dollar than a one pound note,” or a
note for the equivalent of a pound in dollars. The United States debt
is a floating debt, but the money which they borrowed is all sunk, to no
better purpose than the vessels in Charleston Harbour. There is, how-
ever, some ground for the assertion that, since the Government of
Washington has been reduced to fly kites, the debt of the United States
is not a floating debt but a flying debt; but this is a question which we
must leave for determination to the wit and wisdom of the Stock Ex-
change, where it will doubtless be generally remarked that the suspen-
sion of cash payments in the United States is a dolorous business
particularly for those whom it will dish out of their dollars, and above
all, for the Government which, having no more dollars, must come to
grief. At the same institution, probably, the hope will, however, be
expressed that, whatever heads the floating debt of the United States
may have to be arranged under, the debtors, now themselves floating
upon a sea of troubles, may, notwithstanding the ill-will which they
have shown to this country, be enabled, after all, to keep their own heads
above water.
The Double Verdict.
Windham is sane; but England must be cracked
To bear such process as hath fixed the fact.
(Signed) Punch,
Grand Inquisitor.
“ Our American Cozen.”—Repudiation.