DOI issue:
September 27, 1862
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16870#0141
134
[September 27, 1862.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
FLOGS IN COAL.
To Mr. Punch.
“ Sir,
“ I am quite ashamed of my age—I mean of my
country—when I find people refusing to believe that the
Prog in the Exhibition got into the Coal about the period
of the creation, and jumped out just in time to be ready
j for the International Show of 1862. The habit of dis-
believing statements is most objectionable. But I hope
that I shall be able to convince the most incredulous sceptic
that such a thing is perfectly possible, by relating a fact
which has occurred in my own family, and, I may say,
under my own eye.
“The nights have been cold of late, and on Tuesday last
I thought it would be pleasant to have a fire. This was
accordingly lighted, and my servant, a . most respectable
female (duly christened, and with an excellent character),
brought up the coal-skuttle. It had remained in an out-
house during the summer. She placed it in one corner of
my room, behind my arm-chair. About an hour afterwards
I rose to put on some coals, and I beheld, perched upon a
large lump of Wallsend, a remarkably fine Prog. It was
alive, and did not seem afraid of me. and, indeed, I fancied
that it winked at me as I approached it. If there could be
any doubt that this frog had been in one of the coals for
six thousand years at least (my servant thinks ‘nearer
seven’), such doubt would be removed by the creature’s
fearlessness. It was, of course, in the poet’s language,
‘so unacquainted with man,’ upon whom it had never
looked since this orb was called into existence.
“ I would have stated this convincing circumstance in
addition to the similar evidence which I transmitted to the
Times, only it had not occurred when I wrote. I hasten
to complete the chain of testimony to the Exhibition Prog,
and am. Sir,
“ Yours obediently,
“ Lillieshall Coal Depots, “ John Scott.”
“ Paddington. ”
The Last New Knight.
KINDLY MEANT.
Irascible Old Bachelor (Fiercely to Lost Child). “ Where are your Brutal
Parents, eh ? ”
So, learned Bor Bhillimore’s knighted. All right!
But knights should possess designations :
And Sir Bob shall be known in the tourney, or fight,
As the Knight of the Latin Quotations.
A LAWYER IN A PUZZLE.
“ Dear Punch,
“ I am a Young Barrister. You are popularly supposed to
know everything, and I beg to apply to you for information upon a
subject which has recently forced itself upon my notice.
“ Let me premise that I intend (clients willing) to practise very
largely before the Criminal tribunals of our justly beloved country.
“ I am therefore interested in asking you to answer the following
question, namely
“ When do the duties of an Advocate to his client end, cease, and
determine ?
“ By way of explaining myself, I would say that I have recently read,
in the newspapers, the reports of certain trials which have ended
unfavourably for the accused. Not to put too fine a point upon it, the
latter have been sentenced to be removed from this mundane sphere.
Previously to this, of course, their counsel exerted themselves to the
utmost for the defence, and all arguments having been exhausted, the
udge and the jury were left to deal with the cases. I should naturally
lave supposed that the barrister’s work was then complete.
“ But it appears that the Eee to Counsel is held to bind him to do a
great deal more. Paragraphs (which I am far from saying are likely to
injure the learned gentlemen who are their subjects, on the contrary,
may tend to procure them other business) have been issued, stating
that, the Counsel for the defence have attacked the Home Secretary, in
the interest of their convicted clients. In one case, indeed, a Barrister
whose exertions in this court of appeal were not noticed, actually wrote
to the papers respectfully soliciting the attention of the public to the
iact that he had been quite as zealous as the other Barrister whose
doiugs had the good fortune to be recorded. The results were not
exactly alike, tor in one case the person who had been sentenced was
let off by the Home Secretary with transportation for the rest of his
earthly career, while in the other case, a very large assemblage of wit-
nesses beheld an opposite result.
“ Now, Sir, I need hardly remark that 1 have nothing to say upon
the question of such punishments, or upon the merits of the special
cases. But, as a young barrister, I do want to know whether it is con-
sidered by the profession that a barrister is bound to do anything more
for his client than is to be done in the face of the Court. Because, Sir,
if it be so, I flatter myself that I have a good many advantages which
will make me highly serviceable to any otherwise unfortunate party
who may employ me, and may be convicted.
“ I have got money, and therefore I can easily get into Parliament.
It must be admitted, Sir, without in the slightest degree impugning the
high principle and strict justice of a Minister, that it is not in human
nature that the representations of a lawyer who can make a good speech
against him, and give a vote against him (which in ticklish times may be
critical), should not have more influence than the voice of a nobody. If
there is a doubt in the case, I think you will allow, Sir, that the most
honest man is more inclined to give it a weight, when it is urged by a
valued and powerful friend than when put by somebody one knows and
cares nothing about. If I myself had the misfortune to get into a scrape,
I should certainly desire my attorney to retain an M.P. who could
not only make a speech for me in Court, but in the House of Commons
and elsewhere.
“Then, Sir, I have a very persuasive manner and a very sympathetic
voice, and if the Minister of the day happened to be an impressionable
Eerson (and we have seen such), I flatter myself that I could work upon
is feelings of pity or terror in a very remarkable degree. I could draw
a most agonising picture of the temptations of my client, and the sorrows
of his family, or I could saturate the Minister’s mind with the essence
of a perpetual night-mare, to sit upon him in case he should not lean to
mercy.
“ Well, Sir, these and other advantages, to which I need not now more
particularly refer, will be at the service of my clients, if I can satisfy
myself that it is my business to employ any other influence in their
favour than such as is derived from the arguments I should offer in
Court. Upon this point I demand your opinion.
“ One thing is certain, namely, that the criminal is very lucky who
obtains the services of barristers inclined to follow up his case, inas
[September 27, 1862.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
FLOGS IN COAL.
To Mr. Punch.
“ Sir,
“ I am quite ashamed of my age—I mean of my
country—when I find people refusing to believe that the
Prog in the Exhibition got into the Coal about the period
of the creation, and jumped out just in time to be ready
j for the International Show of 1862. The habit of dis-
believing statements is most objectionable. But I hope
that I shall be able to convince the most incredulous sceptic
that such a thing is perfectly possible, by relating a fact
which has occurred in my own family, and, I may say,
under my own eye.
“The nights have been cold of late, and on Tuesday last
I thought it would be pleasant to have a fire. This was
accordingly lighted, and my servant, a . most respectable
female (duly christened, and with an excellent character),
brought up the coal-skuttle. It had remained in an out-
house during the summer. She placed it in one corner of
my room, behind my arm-chair. About an hour afterwards
I rose to put on some coals, and I beheld, perched upon a
large lump of Wallsend, a remarkably fine Prog. It was
alive, and did not seem afraid of me. and, indeed, I fancied
that it winked at me as I approached it. If there could be
any doubt that this frog had been in one of the coals for
six thousand years at least (my servant thinks ‘nearer
seven’), such doubt would be removed by the creature’s
fearlessness. It was, of course, in the poet’s language,
‘so unacquainted with man,’ upon whom it had never
looked since this orb was called into existence.
“ I would have stated this convincing circumstance in
addition to the similar evidence which I transmitted to the
Times, only it had not occurred when I wrote. I hasten
to complete the chain of testimony to the Exhibition Prog,
and am. Sir,
“ Yours obediently,
“ Lillieshall Coal Depots, “ John Scott.”
“ Paddington. ”
The Last New Knight.
KINDLY MEANT.
Irascible Old Bachelor (Fiercely to Lost Child). “ Where are your Brutal
Parents, eh ? ”
So, learned Bor Bhillimore’s knighted. All right!
But knights should possess designations :
And Sir Bob shall be known in the tourney, or fight,
As the Knight of the Latin Quotations.
A LAWYER IN A PUZZLE.
“ Dear Punch,
“ I am a Young Barrister. You are popularly supposed to
know everything, and I beg to apply to you for information upon a
subject which has recently forced itself upon my notice.
“ Let me premise that I intend (clients willing) to practise very
largely before the Criminal tribunals of our justly beloved country.
“ I am therefore interested in asking you to answer the following
question, namely
“ When do the duties of an Advocate to his client end, cease, and
determine ?
“ By way of explaining myself, I would say that I have recently read,
in the newspapers, the reports of certain trials which have ended
unfavourably for the accused. Not to put too fine a point upon it, the
latter have been sentenced to be removed from this mundane sphere.
Previously to this, of course, their counsel exerted themselves to the
utmost for the defence, and all arguments having been exhausted, the
udge and the jury were left to deal with the cases. I should naturally
lave supposed that the barrister’s work was then complete.
“ But it appears that the Eee to Counsel is held to bind him to do a
great deal more. Paragraphs (which I am far from saying are likely to
injure the learned gentlemen who are their subjects, on the contrary,
may tend to procure them other business) have been issued, stating
that, the Counsel for the defence have attacked the Home Secretary, in
the interest of their convicted clients. In one case, indeed, a Barrister
whose exertions in this court of appeal were not noticed, actually wrote
to the papers respectfully soliciting the attention of the public to the
iact that he had been quite as zealous as the other Barrister whose
doiugs had the good fortune to be recorded. The results were not
exactly alike, tor in one case the person who had been sentenced was
let off by the Home Secretary with transportation for the rest of his
earthly career, while in the other case, a very large assemblage of wit-
nesses beheld an opposite result.
“ Now, Sir, I need hardly remark that 1 have nothing to say upon
the question of such punishments, or upon the merits of the special
cases. But, as a young barrister, I do want to know whether it is con-
sidered by the profession that a barrister is bound to do anything more
for his client than is to be done in the face of the Court. Because, Sir,
if it be so, I flatter myself that I have a good many advantages which
will make me highly serviceable to any otherwise unfortunate party
who may employ me, and may be convicted.
“ I have got money, and therefore I can easily get into Parliament.
It must be admitted, Sir, without in the slightest degree impugning the
high principle and strict justice of a Minister, that it is not in human
nature that the representations of a lawyer who can make a good speech
against him, and give a vote against him (which in ticklish times may be
critical), should not have more influence than the voice of a nobody. If
there is a doubt in the case, I think you will allow, Sir, that the most
honest man is more inclined to give it a weight, when it is urged by a
valued and powerful friend than when put by somebody one knows and
cares nothing about. If I myself had the misfortune to get into a scrape,
I should certainly desire my attorney to retain an M.P. who could
not only make a speech for me in Court, but in the House of Commons
and elsewhere.
“Then, Sir, I have a very persuasive manner and a very sympathetic
voice, and if the Minister of the day happened to be an impressionable
Eerson (and we have seen such), I flatter myself that I could work upon
is feelings of pity or terror in a very remarkable degree. I could draw
a most agonising picture of the temptations of my client, and the sorrows
of his family, or I could saturate the Minister’s mind with the essence
of a perpetual night-mare, to sit upon him in case he should not lean to
mercy.
“ Well, Sir, these and other advantages, to which I need not now more
particularly refer, will be at the service of my clients, if I can satisfy
myself that it is my business to employ any other influence in their
favour than such as is derived from the arguments I should offer in
Court. Upon this point I demand your opinion.
“ One thing is certain, namely, that the criminal is very lucky who
obtains the services of barristers inclined to follow up his case, inas