DOI issue:
October 15, 1864
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16874#0168
162
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [October 15, 1864.
and the fees for communication with the other world, are, on the whole,
decidedly moderate.
“ A Book -will be published with the communications of all the illustrious charac-
ters, as soon as the subscription list is filled up. Subscription, 7 s. or 10s., according
to the binding. The title is given from the Spirit world—‘'The Spirit World : or
the Spirit of the Spirit World.’ Which will be the most wonderful book ever
published—all written by inspiration !
Communions and Seances held in London, Croydon, and Family Residences.
FEE.
Teaching to write.500
(No Fee accepted until tonight.)
Private Communion for one only..110
Communion for three.1 10 0
Evening Seance, not to exceed seven.110
Communions sent by post, by sending right name, or names,
and where died, to secure identity (postage stamps
enclosed).0 10 0
Engagements from home, with carriage expenses, in addition to the above fee.
Three days’ notice will be required to meet engagements.
“All letters for reply to be addressed to Mrs. Bounce Bubbler, Greenhorn Road,
Croydon, Surrey.
“ To learn to write independent of me, requires from one to three days only, an
hour a day.”
1 “N.B.—Take care of this Circular for a friend, as no other will be issued.—This Circular
is printed on the two inside pages, that it may be framed, if desired."
There, Mrs. Bubbler, Mr. Punch has framed your circular, as it
j deserves, in its own brass !
VERY LIKELY.
Salt (high and dry for five hours). “ Hungry, are you. Sir? Will you do as I do?
Try a bit of Bacca, and you won’t feel Hungry, long.”
HONOUR TO SCOTLAND.
Mr. P. B. Smollett, Member for Dunbarton, addressing a Meeting of his Constituents at
Helensburgh on public affairs, made an incidental remark on Mr. Mackinnon, Member for
Rye, whom he described as “ a gentleman who always sits behind the Ministers with his knees
on their backs.” He said:—
PROFESSIONAL LOVE-SONG.
THE SCHOOLMASTER.
There never was a prim(m)er,
There cannot be a slimmer.
She boasts that Mrs. Trimmer
Was a relative of hers :
What her antecedents were.
Too supine, I do not care,
But her name is L-Mpr-ere,
Which a pedagogue prefers.
At a Social Science meeting,
Of Education treating.
By her side I got a seat in
The balcony above:
Dressed in slate, her profile caught me,
And potential glances taught me,
(Though she neither wooed nor sought me)
The sweet rudiments of love.
Soon my heart to me dictated,
And the verb I conjugated
Which since woman was created.
Has been whispered in her ear;
With a blush and interjection,—
In her voice a soft inflection—
She offered no objection
To its taking place this year.
An Aldus—of the rarest—
And a treatise on the Aorist,
Were my presents to the fairest.
With, I knew her tastes, some dates ;
Gifts like these she scanned with pleasure.
And delighted above measure,
Gave me back an uncut treasure,
“ Roman Cookery,” with plates.
Perfect bliss my present state is;
By my side my future mate is.
Telling me, deep in the “ Atys,”
She’s a pupil in her eye :
When this ring—15m on the rack till
We are one—is on her dactyl,
We shall start and not be back till
December passeth by.
“ Mr. Mackinnon, I dare say, is a very good gentleman: be calls himself, I believe, the head of the
elan Mackinnon, therefore I suppose he is a Scotchman ; but it would puzzle a conjuror to know the reason
why he should he raised to the peerage, except that he had been instrumental in destroying Lord Russell’s
bill.”
This sentence is capable of bearing two constructions.
Mr. Smollett may have meant to say that, inasmuch as he believes Mr. Mackinnon to be
the head of the clan Mackinnon, and therefore supposes him to be a Scotchman, he dares say
that Mr. Mackinnon is a very good gentleman, but thinks that the merit of being merely
a good gentleman does not entitle him to be made a peer.
Or he may have meant simply to say that, although for the reasons above stated he sup-
poses Mr. Mackinnon to be a Scotchman, nevertheless, Scotchman as Mr. Mackinnon is,
lie still does not deem him worthy of being raised to the peerage.
By the fornjer construction of the words above quoted, Mr. Smollett would be understood
to imply that a Scotchman, as such, may be presumed to be a very good gentleman.
By the latter construction of those words, Mr. Smollett would be taken to intimate that
although the advantage of being a Scotchman is certainly not of itself alone sufficiently
meritorious to give a man any claim to a seat in the House of Lords, it is, nevertheless,
ot itself considerably meritorious.
Whatever Mr. Mackinnon may be, there can be no doubt that Mr. Smollett is a
thorough Scotchman.
To the Unpunctual.—The Royal Humane Society offer a reward to any gentleman
belonging to the abovementioned class, who shall succeed in saving a train.
Not a particle of crinoline.
Not a fraction of a hoop is seen
On the classic form of Josephine,
• Steeled against the use of cane:
When her thoughts are not on tenses.
Her theme is our expenses
When scholastic work commences
At Concord House again.
Somewhat passive in demeanour,
I acknowledge that I’ve seen her
(With every wish to screen her)
In another sort of mood :
’Tis imperative to school her,
And be a little cooler,
Or else she ’ll be the ruler.
After Christmas time at St-oud.
Sprin g and Autumn.—As a proof of the severity
of the season, is was remarked that, during the
late cold winds, several crocuses peeped up in the
flower beds, mistaking October for March.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [October 15, 1864.
and the fees for communication with the other world, are, on the whole,
decidedly moderate.
“ A Book -will be published with the communications of all the illustrious charac-
ters, as soon as the subscription list is filled up. Subscription, 7 s. or 10s., according
to the binding. The title is given from the Spirit world—‘'The Spirit World : or
the Spirit of the Spirit World.’ Which will be the most wonderful book ever
published—all written by inspiration !
Communions and Seances held in London, Croydon, and Family Residences.
FEE.
Teaching to write.500
(No Fee accepted until tonight.)
Private Communion for one only..110
Communion for three.1 10 0
Evening Seance, not to exceed seven.110
Communions sent by post, by sending right name, or names,
and where died, to secure identity (postage stamps
enclosed).0 10 0
Engagements from home, with carriage expenses, in addition to the above fee.
Three days’ notice will be required to meet engagements.
“All letters for reply to be addressed to Mrs. Bounce Bubbler, Greenhorn Road,
Croydon, Surrey.
“ To learn to write independent of me, requires from one to three days only, an
hour a day.”
1 “N.B.—Take care of this Circular for a friend, as no other will be issued.—This Circular
is printed on the two inside pages, that it may be framed, if desired."
There, Mrs. Bubbler, Mr. Punch has framed your circular, as it
j deserves, in its own brass !
VERY LIKELY.
Salt (high and dry for five hours). “ Hungry, are you. Sir? Will you do as I do?
Try a bit of Bacca, and you won’t feel Hungry, long.”
HONOUR TO SCOTLAND.
Mr. P. B. Smollett, Member for Dunbarton, addressing a Meeting of his Constituents at
Helensburgh on public affairs, made an incidental remark on Mr. Mackinnon, Member for
Rye, whom he described as “ a gentleman who always sits behind the Ministers with his knees
on their backs.” He said:—
PROFESSIONAL LOVE-SONG.
THE SCHOOLMASTER.
There never was a prim(m)er,
There cannot be a slimmer.
She boasts that Mrs. Trimmer
Was a relative of hers :
What her antecedents were.
Too supine, I do not care,
But her name is L-Mpr-ere,
Which a pedagogue prefers.
At a Social Science meeting,
Of Education treating.
By her side I got a seat in
The balcony above:
Dressed in slate, her profile caught me,
And potential glances taught me,
(Though she neither wooed nor sought me)
The sweet rudiments of love.
Soon my heart to me dictated,
And the verb I conjugated
Which since woman was created.
Has been whispered in her ear;
With a blush and interjection,—
In her voice a soft inflection—
She offered no objection
To its taking place this year.
An Aldus—of the rarest—
And a treatise on the Aorist,
Were my presents to the fairest.
With, I knew her tastes, some dates ;
Gifts like these she scanned with pleasure.
And delighted above measure,
Gave me back an uncut treasure,
“ Roman Cookery,” with plates.
Perfect bliss my present state is;
By my side my future mate is.
Telling me, deep in the “ Atys,”
She’s a pupil in her eye :
When this ring—15m on the rack till
We are one—is on her dactyl,
We shall start and not be back till
December passeth by.
“ Mr. Mackinnon, I dare say, is a very good gentleman: be calls himself, I believe, the head of the
elan Mackinnon, therefore I suppose he is a Scotchman ; but it would puzzle a conjuror to know the reason
why he should he raised to the peerage, except that he had been instrumental in destroying Lord Russell’s
bill.”
This sentence is capable of bearing two constructions.
Mr. Smollett may have meant to say that, inasmuch as he believes Mr. Mackinnon to be
the head of the clan Mackinnon, and therefore supposes him to be a Scotchman, he dares say
that Mr. Mackinnon is a very good gentleman, but thinks that the merit of being merely
a good gentleman does not entitle him to be made a peer.
Or he may have meant simply to say that, although for the reasons above stated he sup-
poses Mr. Mackinnon to be a Scotchman, nevertheless, Scotchman as Mr. Mackinnon is,
lie still does not deem him worthy of being raised to the peerage.
By the fornjer construction of the words above quoted, Mr. Smollett would be understood
to imply that a Scotchman, as such, may be presumed to be a very good gentleman.
By the latter construction of those words, Mr. Smollett would be taken to intimate that
although the advantage of being a Scotchman is certainly not of itself alone sufficiently
meritorious to give a man any claim to a seat in the House of Lords, it is, nevertheless,
ot itself considerably meritorious.
Whatever Mr. Mackinnon may be, there can be no doubt that Mr. Smollett is a
thorough Scotchman.
To the Unpunctual.—The Royal Humane Society offer a reward to any gentleman
belonging to the abovementioned class, who shall succeed in saving a train.
Not a particle of crinoline.
Not a fraction of a hoop is seen
On the classic form of Josephine,
• Steeled against the use of cane:
When her thoughts are not on tenses.
Her theme is our expenses
When scholastic work commences
At Concord House again.
Somewhat passive in demeanour,
I acknowledge that I’ve seen her
(With every wish to screen her)
In another sort of mood :
’Tis imperative to school her,
And be a little cooler,
Or else she ’ll be the ruler.
After Christmas time at St-oud.
Sprin g and Autumn.—As a proof of the severity
of the season, is was remarked that, during the
late cold winds, several crocuses peeped up in the
flower beds, mistaking October for March.