DOI issue:
July 15, 1865
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16876#0028
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. Duly is, 1865,
MARTIAL ARDOUR.
LITTLE SPADGETT NEVER CAN RESIST HIS MILITARY INSTINCTS UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES.
IMAGINARY CONVERSATION.
Lord Bacon. Lord Bethell.
Lord Bacon. So, ray singular good. Lord, it seems that I am to say
Judex dawnatur.
Ijord Bethell. I am unaware, Lord St. Albans, that any demand has
been made upon you for that or any other Latin quotation.
Lord Bacon. Nay, nay, my Lord, let your speech be grave, as be-
seemeth your Lordship’s eminence, and the regard (I will say’t) in
which you are holden by your fellow subjects, these storms and blasts
notwithstanding. And what saith the wise Pliny, Nemo mortalium
omnibus horis sapit.
Lord Bethell. The saying is not entirely new to me, my Lord, but I
beg leave to express my sense of your Lordship’s kindness in this visit
to a Censured man.
Lord Bacon. Vexat censura columbas, as our gay friend Flaccus
observes; not that I would liken or compare your Lordship to a dove,
nor would you desire the same. But I would have you presently take
comfort, if you need it, and that yon may the readier do so, I would
have you slowly and thoroughly to comprehend what it is that hath
befallen you. Da spatium tenuemque moram, as Statius hath it.
Lord Bethell. I am in no haste, my Lord. I have resigned the Great
Seal, and have leisure for deliberation.
Lord, Bacon. Why, therein is comfort already. For though 1 ever
hold idleness a crime, the bow of Ulysses must be at times unstrung,
el agenti quiescendum est, to cite Seneca.
Lord Bethell. Nevertheless it would be highly agreeable to be per-
mitted to select_one’s own time for the unstringing.
Lord Bacon. 1 see that as my Lord the first Lord was pleased to say
in the House of Commons, your Lordship hath been stung, and that the
sting remaineth. Yet, so please you, 1 shall show you that you should
cheerfully trample on the serpent, aud disdain the viperium genus, and
retort the savage threat of the reptile lingua vibrante minax.
Lord Bethell. I am not very apt to be discomfited by clamour, but
you will allow that a hostile vote of the House of Commons is a
matter which mav make a man look grave-
Lord Bacon. Jus dederunt, non jus dixerunt.
Lord Bethell. I may think so, Lord St. Albans, but our country-
men are a good deal led away by words, and a vote of censure,
bless us and save us, is an awful thing. Paterfamilias pronounces
the words with a solemn voice over his marmalade at breakfast, and
he and his friends twaddle unctuously over the phrase as they ride
to job in the stocks or rig the market. Country parsons, taught by
their provincial paper, look at the words with mingled terror and
delight, and tell their female parishioners that Parliament has avenged
the Church on the atheistic Privy Council.
Lord Bacon. Methinks that he who has sat in my seat is over-timid.
Have we lived in the great woods to be scared by the little owls ?
I must even carry you to Tacitus again, and say neque mala vel
bona qure vulgus putet.
Lord Bethell. Do not accuse me of incivility, but accept my assurance
that things have somewhat altered since your Lordship’s time, Your
own haughty scorn of the ignorant many, provided that you stood well
in the eyes of the liberal few, was justified iu your own days, but we
have taught much to the many and have to listen to them in return.
Lord Bacon. Still, sententialponderantur non numerantur. And to that
end, and if it may be that 1. may show your Lordship that the tears are
in. an onion that should water this sorrow, as my facetious friend Will
Shakspearb would say, I will even proceed with you by the Socratic
method, asking you certain questions.
LjOrd Bethell. I acknowledge your kindness.
Lord Bacon. Nay, my Lord, we have both read Cicero, and we. both
know that hoc maxime officii est, at quisque maxime opis indig eat, ita ei
potissimum opitulari. Now, what said the House of Commons ? That
yon were corrupt ?
Lord Bethell. No, I was emphatically acquitted, ou all sides, of
anything like corruption.
Lord Bacon. 1 was a great man, yet twenty-three charges of corrup-
tion were brought against me, and I did “upon advised consideration”
confess my guilt, pleading, however, that there were vitia temporis as
well as vitia hominis.
Lmd Bethell. As Lord Palmerston said, the inquiries resulted in
my absolute acquittal of every corrupt motive.
MARTIAL ARDOUR.
LITTLE SPADGETT NEVER CAN RESIST HIS MILITARY INSTINCTS UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES.
IMAGINARY CONVERSATION.
Lord Bacon. Lord Bethell.
Lord Bacon. So, ray singular good. Lord, it seems that I am to say
Judex dawnatur.
Ijord Bethell. I am unaware, Lord St. Albans, that any demand has
been made upon you for that or any other Latin quotation.
Lord Bacon. Nay, nay, my Lord, let your speech be grave, as be-
seemeth your Lordship’s eminence, and the regard (I will say’t) in
which you are holden by your fellow subjects, these storms and blasts
notwithstanding. And what saith the wise Pliny, Nemo mortalium
omnibus horis sapit.
Lord Bethell. The saying is not entirely new to me, my Lord, but I
beg leave to express my sense of your Lordship’s kindness in this visit
to a Censured man.
Lord Bacon. Vexat censura columbas, as our gay friend Flaccus
observes; not that I would liken or compare your Lordship to a dove,
nor would you desire the same. But I would have you presently take
comfort, if you need it, and that yon may the readier do so, I would
have you slowly and thoroughly to comprehend what it is that hath
befallen you. Da spatium tenuemque moram, as Statius hath it.
Lord Bethell. I am in no haste, my Lord. I have resigned the Great
Seal, and have leisure for deliberation.
Lord, Bacon. Why, therein is comfort already. For though 1 ever
hold idleness a crime, the bow of Ulysses must be at times unstrung,
el agenti quiescendum est, to cite Seneca.
Lord Bethell. Nevertheless it would be highly agreeable to be per-
mitted to select_one’s own time for the unstringing.
Lord Bacon. 1 see that as my Lord the first Lord was pleased to say
in the House of Commons, your Lordship hath been stung, and that the
sting remaineth. Yet, so please you, 1 shall show you that you should
cheerfully trample on the serpent, aud disdain the viperium genus, and
retort the savage threat of the reptile lingua vibrante minax.
Lord Bethell. I am not very apt to be discomfited by clamour, but
you will allow that a hostile vote of the House of Commons is a
matter which mav make a man look grave-
Lord Bacon. Jus dederunt, non jus dixerunt.
Lord Bethell. I may think so, Lord St. Albans, but our country-
men are a good deal led away by words, and a vote of censure,
bless us and save us, is an awful thing. Paterfamilias pronounces
the words with a solemn voice over his marmalade at breakfast, and
he and his friends twaddle unctuously over the phrase as they ride
to job in the stocks or rig the market. Country parsons, taught by
their provincial paper, look at the words with mingled terror and
delight, and tell their female parishioners that Parliament has avenged
the Church on the atheistic Privy Council.
Lord Bacon. Methinks that he who has sat in my seat is over-timid.
Have we lived in the great woods to be scared by the little owls ?
I must even carry you to Tacitus again, and say neque mala vel
bona qure vulgus putet.
Lord Bethell. Do not accuse me of incivility, but accept my assurance
that things have somewhat altered since your Lordship’s time, Your
own haughty scorn of the ignorant many, provided that you stood well
in the eyes of the liberal few, was justified iu your own days, but we
have taught much to the many and have to listen to them in return.
Lord Bacon. Still, sententialponderantur non numerantur. And to that
end, and if it may be that 1. may show your Lordship that the tears are
in. an onion that should water this sorrow, as my facetious friend Will
Shakspearb would say, I will even proceed with you by the Socratic
method, asking you certain questions.
LjOrd Bethell. I acknowledge your kindness.
Lord Bacon. Nay, my Lord, we have both read Cicero, and we. both
know that hoc maxime officii est, at quisque maxime opis indig eat, ita ei
potissimum opitulari. Now, what said the House of Commons ? That
yon were corrupt ?
Lord Bethell. No, I was emphatically acquitted, ou all sides, of
anything like corruption.
Lord Bacon. 1 was a great man, yet twenty-three charges of corrup-
tion were brought against me, and I did “upon advised consideration”
confess my guilt, pleading, however, that there were vitia temporis as
well as vitia hominis.
Lmd Bethell. As Lord Palmerston said, the inquiries resulted in
my absolute acquittal of every corrupt motive.